Eighteen’s Bed

That was the last chance I gave Go Yohan.
Or rather, calling it a chance was just a nice way of putting it. It was my final desperate attempt to cling to him.

But until the very end, Go Yohan said nothing.
Not to me. Not to Park Dongcheol.
He simply stared at me for a long moment before turning his head away. His gaze landed on Shin Jaehyun.

Shin Jaehyun was looking at me with a slightly surprised expression. Maybe even a little concerned.
He hesitated, then started walking toward me.
“……Please.”

But I hated that kind of kindness too.
Why wasn’t it Go Yohan?
The fact that I even had that thought made my skin crawl.

Fuck.
I shot up from my seat.
My eyes flickered from Shin Jaehyun to Go Yohan.

“Go Yohan, please.”
Go Yohan’s expression was unreadable.
Then, avoiding my gaze, he turned his head. His foot, which had been resting on the soccer ball the entire time, suddenly kicked it up into the air.

Bang.
The sound was like a signal flare, shattering the silence.
A chorus of cheers erupted across the field.

At that moment, everyone forgot about me.
Forgot that I was standing there, blood dripping from my nose.
And with that, any attention Go Yohan had spared me was gone too.
"……."

Only then did I get permission from the P.E. teacher to go to the infirmary.
 
****

They say bad luck comes in waves.
Of all people, I ran into Han Taesan at the infirmary.
The school nurse wasn’t there.

Han Taesan was lying on the bed, clutching his stomach and groaning, but the moment I walked in, his face twisted in shock.
“You—why—here.”
Still stammering as usual.

Then his eyes landed on my nose, and he started flailing around like a panicked animal.
"T-T-Tissue!"
“It’s over there.”

Still pressing my knuckles against my nose, I pointed at the table with my free hand.
Han Taesan scrambled up, yanked a massive wad of tissues from the roll, and shoved them under my nose with enough force to cut off my breathing.
I had to push his hand away, making him flinch and pull back.

Then, he just stared blankly at his own hand, the one I had slapped.
What are you looking at?
"……."

"……."
An awkward silence passed.
Just as Han Taesan started coming back to his senses, his eyes trailed down from his hand—to my arm—to my foot.

That was when a dark shadow settled in his large, round eyes.
Suspicion.
I could feel my foot tensing on its own.

Without thinking, I assumed what Han Taesan must be thinking and tried to explain myself.
“No. It’s not what you think.”
"……."

“You’re misunderstanding.”
"I……."
Han Taesan’s expression was serious.

I couldn’t meet his eyes.
His warning kept echoing in my head.
The warning I had ignored.

Truthfully, even now, I still didn’t believe it.
My conscience, stained with misplaced hope, refused to accept reality.
And technically, I wasn’t wrong.

Nothing had really happened to me yet.
At least, nothing like what had happened to Han Taesan.
“W-What are you assuming, exactly?”

The only reason I couldn’t immediately refute him was that, deep down, I already knew things were spiraling out of my control.
Han Junwoo was violence.
Go Yohan was indifference.

I ran a hand over the rough surface of my cast, almost as if trying to justify myself.
“I don’t know exactly what you’re thinking, but if I’m right—no, I haven’t been beaten up.”
"……."

“I fell. I stepped on glass. I got hit by a soccer ball. That’s all.”
“K-Kang Jun.”
Han Taesan spoke calmly.

He was still stuttering, but this time, his voice carried a weight it hadn’t before.
“You’re a good person, so you d-don’t see it but……”
"……."

“I-It started with a soccer ball falling from a w-window for me too.”
"……."
“Th-The second thing was my shoes. They… they were thrown away in a scrapyard.”

"Taesan."
I sighed.
"You have a tendency to overthink things."

“N-No.”
For once, he didn’t stutter.
"……Go look for them."

His eyes said the rest.
They’re there.
I didn’t want to see that look.

I lowered my head and pressed the tissues harder against my nose.
My shoes weren’t in some trash heap.
Someone had stolen them.

They were expensive, high-quality.
There was no need for me to check.
The scent of blood seeped into the tissues.

I shook my head more forcefully.
But Han Taesan’s voice was still there, soft but unrelenting.
“Kang Jun. You—you’re smart.”

"……."
“Not like me……”
Han Taesan didn’t know me at all.

I wasn’t kind. I wasn’t smart.
There was a time when I believed I was.
But the moment I realized that I was nothing more than an eighteen-year-old idiot, everything I thought I knew got tossed in the trash.

I crushed the bloodstained tissue in my fist.
My palm grew damp.
“I told you before—I’m not the person you think I am.”

This time, it was Han Taesan who shook his head.
“N-No.”
"I am."

His unwavering kindness made me uncomfortable.
So much so that I frowned without meaning to.
I couldn’t even define what exactly I was feeling.

It was just irritating.
Silently, I threw away the useless tissues and tore off a fresh sheet.
I folded it neatly, small enough to fit in my palm, and pressed it under my nose.

Han Taesan hesitated, like he wanted to help, but I had already taken care of it myself.
He failed to act in time, and instead, he let out an awkward, breathy laugh.
“You’re… just a little naive, that’s all.”

“What?”
I frowned and looked at Han Taesan.
Did he just say I was naive?

Who, me?
But I forced my expression to stay neutral. I exhaled carefully so it wouldn’t show and forced the best smile I could manage.
“Taesan, sorry to break it to you, but I grew up a long time ago.”

“P-People who t-think like that are the ones who haven’t g-grown up.”
Even after my rebuttal, Han Taesan only smiled and said,
“……You’re going to b-be a really g-good adult.”

"……."
“You’re the only one who h-helped me.”
Of course, I had reasons for helping him.

I couldn’t bring myself to say it, but I repeated the thought in my head over and over.
For some reason, my mind drifted back to the shimmer of heatwaves rising in the summer.
Students aren’t supposed to smoke, Han Taesan had said, smiling.

But you still look cool.
Right.
Han Taesan had always been strangely stubborn in his own way.

Now that I thought about it, Han Junwoo had never been able to do anything about him.
And hearing this now, it was obvious—Han Junwoo was drawn to that kind of relentless tenacity.
I kept my mouth shut.

Because in front of that Han Taesan—the one from last May who I had never been able to beat—I already knew I would lose.
No matter what I did.
No matter what I said.

Even Han Junwoo couldn’t break him.
And now, Han Taesan was giving me advice.
The kind of advice I really didn’t want to hear.

“So, Kang Jun.”
He hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully.
“Go check the s-scrapyard. Before it gets c-cleared out next week.”

"……."
“And then, you—”
He trailed off, as if struggling to pick the right words again.

Finally, his round cheeks twitched, and he settled on something.
“I hope you make a b-better choice than I did.”
If you’re going to be that vague, just don’t say anything at all.

What the hell was I supposed to do with that?
Han Taesan’s words annoyed me.
He had handed me a problem that was too difficult for me to solve.

Han Taesan had already been through the worst.
Whether it was failure or survival, he had already lived through it.
So if this happened again, what would he choose?

Still—
Even if it bruised my pride, I was about to ask him anyway.
But—

“What are you two doing?”
The school nurse suddenly walked in.
"A-Anyway, it’s n-nothing!" Han Taesan stammered, immediately throwing himself back onto the bed.

“Wait a minute. Kang Jun? That’s you, isn’t it? What happened to your nose? Are you hurt?”
The nurse made a fuss over my nose before I could say anything.
And as long as she was here, I wouldn’t be able to ask Han Taesan anything.

I swallowed my frustration.
“I bumped into something during P.E.”
 

****
By the time I got back to the classroom, P.E. had already ended.
The air reeked of sweat.

The moment I opened the door, the stench smacked me in the face, thick and unbearable.
I held my breath to avoid gagging.
The homeroom teacher was preparing for the end-of-day announcements and glanced at me as I walked in.

I had no choice but to explain myself.
“My nose started bleeding during P.E., so I went to the infirmary. That’s why I’m late.”
“Oh dear, really? Are you okay?”

“Yes. It stopped pretty quickly.”
“That’s a relief. Alright, take your seat.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

I rubbed my neck as I walked back to my seat, trying to shake off the awkwardness.
The moment I sat down, Park Haon turned around and whispered,
“You good?”

I gave him a short nod.
Homeroom was brief.
The teacher stole another glance at me, then gave a small thumbs-up before walking out with a smile.

And then I regretted something.
I should have come back to the classroom first and changed into my uniform.
Now I had to deal with the hassle of changing while everyone was still here.

I hated changing when the classroom was crowded.
So I waited.
I sat still until the classroom emptied out.

Our class was quick with homeroom, so the hallways were already clear.
Meanwhile, Class 1’s classroom was spewing out sweaty, chattering boys like water swirling down a drain.
Once the noise died down, I finally forced myself to get up and change.

By the time I finished buttoning up my uniform, I could hear the distant murmur of other classes finishing their day.
I picked up my bag.
If I wanted to leave without bumping into anyone, I had to move quickly.

But walking without putting weight on my foot was slow and exhausting.
The imbalance made my whole body ache.
And my foot hurt.

Why the fuck did I have to step on that glass?
No—why the fuck did some bastard have to steal my shoes in the first place, forcing me into this situation?
And as I thought that—

Han Taesan’s words echoed in my head again.
"Go check the scrapyard."
That thought wouldn’t leave me alone.

As I trudged forward, still mulling over Han Taesan’s words, I felt a gaze on me.
I instinctively lifted my head.
To my surprise, Go Yohan was there.

He was sitting on the stairs, as if he had been waiting for someone.
And the moment he saw me, he stood up awkwardly.
Our eyes met in an uncomfortable silence.

To be honest, I was afraid of his gaze.
He had ignored me all this time.
Now what?

This was all Han Taesan’s fault—his voice still whispering in my head.
"For me, it started with a soccer ball falling from a window."
And Park Dongcheol was one of Go Yohan’s biggest admirers.

Ah, fuck.
So that’s what this was.
So that’s how it was.

A heavy weight of despair settled over me.
As realization finally sank in, my feet stepped back.
Go Yohan saw my retreat and spoke first.

His voice came out rushed, almost too hurried.
"Your… leg."
What was he trying to say?

Was I supposed to answer?
I opened my mouth, then clamped it shut.
"It started with a soccer ball falling from a window."

A soccer ball hitting my face.
Go Yohan, saying nothing.
I took another step back.

"……."
I had never been able to tell what Go Yohan was thinking.
But thankfully, I knew a lot about him.

He was good at acting.
He was smart.
And he loved tormenting others.

I wasn’t about to waver.
I stood firm, meeting his gaze on the stairs.
I made sure not to show any emotion.

Not fear.
Not weakness.
And as always, my efforts paid off.

"……."
I looked at him with all the dignity I could muster and stepped forward.
Go Yohan wiped his palm against his pants, watching me.

He almost looked pleased that I was approaching him.
Did he enjoy the thought of tormenting me?
I forced myself to keep walking.

His scent filled my nose.
For a second, my mind went blank, overwhelmed by a dizzying thought I couldn’t place.
But I crushed it down.

I walked past him.
Deliberately.
Descended the stairs as if he weren’t even there.

That was the biggest act of defiance I could give.
"……Ow."
My leg trembled with every step.

The raw skin of my injured foot throbbed.
Go Yohan was no longer in sight.
But I walked with my back straight, my steps steady.

I refused to show weakness.
Especially not to him.
No matter how stupid it seemed, that stubbornness was the only thing keeping me upright.

To fix my posture, I had to straighten my back.
To straighten my back, I had to evenly distribute my weight.
But my foot was in no shape for that.

And my arm wasn’t strong enough to keep my balance.
The only thing keeping me from stumbling down the stairs was sheer willpower.
At last, I reached the first floor.

The hallway was full of students.
I scanned the noisy crowd.
"Fucking hell, what’s with this homework?"

"Shit, what the fuck did you put in your shoe? Wait, is this an insole?"
"Ugh, it’s so damn loud. Move for a second."
"Wanna stop by the bookstore before cram school? I need a new workbook."

"Whoever was late buys us pork stir-fry, no exceptions!"
I watched the crowd that had once been friendly toward me.
Lately, they weren’t exactly friendly, but at least they weren’t openly hostile.

I squared my shoulders.
Didn’t close my eyes.
Inhaled steadily.

Walk.
Walk like nothing’s wrong.
No one needed to know how rattled I was after seeing Go Yohan.

I would always be Kang Jun—unshaken, untouchable.
That was the moment I gritted my teeth and took another step.
And then—

"HEY!! KANG JUN!!!"
Go Yohan’s voice ripped through the hallway like a gunshot.
His rosary beads clattered against the stair railing.

The chaotic noise of students vanished in an instant.
Everyone who knew me turned to look.
And those who didn’t glanced around, following the shift in attention.

I clenched my cast-covered hand.
"What the…?"
The murmuring grew thicker.

And for the first time in a long time—
I was scared.
It felt like Go Yohan was right behind me.

Like his massive hand was crushing my shoulder.
The pressure curled in my stomach like nausea.
And the worst part—

There were nearly a hundred students watching me.
"……."
Hundreds of unreadable eyes, all fixed on me.

My legs felt weak.
The silence deepened.
Then, Go Yohan’s voice tore through the school once more.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!"
Somehow—
I didn’t lower my head.

Somehow—
I didn’t avert my eyes.
Wherever I moved, dozens of heads turned with me.

And yet—
I walked.
I walked through the crowd, my gaze unwavering.

And in that moment, I finally realized—
My nightmare was only just beginning.