Dying Is Not an Option—Tell That to My System!

The morning air was crisp as Chunhe joined the village hunters. He kept his head down, blending into the crowd. He wasn't the type to stand out. When trouble came knocking, he'd just play dumb or slip away.

But today? Today felt different.

In his spatial farm, the flower demon lay on a bed of soft petals, watching everything through a glowing vine mirror. Her delicate pink eyes sparkled like blooming roses, her lips soft and tempting. With long, smooth legs and an enchanting figure, she could put even legendary beauties to shame. Every movement carried the grace of a flower swaying in the wind.

Chunhe cracked his knuckles. "Time to look cool."

His face turned serious, like a seasoned veteran. In reality? He was just copying badass characters from TV dramas.

He crouched down, scooping up a handful of dirt. He sniffed it, licked it, and narrowed his eyes like he had just unlocked the universe's secrets.

"Hmm… fresh tracks, faint iron scent… This boar's been eating Spirit Iron Grass. That's why it's so damn big."

The crowd blinked.

"...Did he just EAT dirt?"

Chunhe ignored them. He pressed his ear to the ground like a master tracker.

"I hear… vibrations… Six legs… No, FOUR LEGS!"

"...All animals have four legs," someone muttered.

Chunhe kept going. "Three hours ago. Male. Weighs about 600 jin… had corn for breakfast… and…" He paused for dramatic effect. "…Has relationship problems."

"...HUH?"

Before anyone could call bullshit, Chunhe turned to Big D. The shaggy mutt was sniffing a steaming pile of boar crap.

"Good work, Big D!" Chunhe said proudly. "A true professional hunts with ALL his senses."

Big D barked, wagging his tail… or maybe he was just happy to roll in the stink. Hard to tell.

Then—rumble.

The earth trembled. The bushes shook.

"Incoming!"

A herd of massive boars burst from the trees like a stampede from hell. Each one was the size of a buffalo, tusks gleaming like spears.

"Exactly as I predicted!" Chunhe smirked.

"RUN! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!" Liu Fan shouted.

Chunhe cracked his neck. "Mere pigs dare to challenge me?"

Then—

DING!

A System window flashed before his eyes:

[New Mission: One-Shot the Boar]

Reward: Sun Stone (Low Grade)

Failure Penalty: Virgin for life

…What?

"Wait, what?! WHAT?!?" Chunhe's brain short-circuited. His hands trembled. His heart pounded in his chest like a war drum.

Virgin for life.

Virgin.

For LIFE.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chunhe screamed internally. He wasn't ready for marriage, sure, but he damn well wanted the option someday! This wasn't just a penalty—this was fate itself shitting on his future!

His mind spun. Thoughts crashed into each other like a damn carriage pile-up.

What do I do?!

Think! Think! Think!

He racked his brain, digging through every scrap of memory he had. He'd seen strong beasts before. Hell, he read about them in old books and scrolls. Every animal had a weak point.

Where? Where was it?!

Then it hit him—the bridge of the nose.

Right between the eyes. That's the spot. If he could land a solid hit, he could knock the beast out cold. Maybe even kill it in one shot.

It was risky. But so was dying a wizard.

Chunhe gritted his teeth. No choice. I had to bet it all.

His gaze landed on a nearby hunter—holding a bow.

Yes! That's it!

Without a second thought, he snatched the bow from the guy's hands.

"Hey!" 

"No time!" Chunhe barked, already nocking an arrow. He had seen this in movies! Just pull back, aim, and—

TWANG!

The arrow flopped forward… and fell to the ground.

Not even five meters.

 The hunters stared.

cough cough.

"...chunhe."

 "You ever shot a bow before?"

"Shut up,"

He grabbed another arrow and tried again.

TWANG!

This time, the arrow flickered sideways, missing everything.

The boar teased.

Chunhe vein bulged. Cold sweat ran down his spine. he snapped the bow into two

I suck at this.

His hands were shaky. His mind was in full panic mode.

The penalty flashed in his head.

Virgin for life. Virgin for life. VIRGIN FOR LIFE.

No.

No way in hell was he losing this bet.

Ranged combat? Not his thing.

Chunhe's heart pounded. His hands were clammy. His soul felt like it was trying to leave his body.

I need a plan! I need backup

Then—his eyes lit up.

…Nothing.

Silence.

Chunhe glanced around.

Where was that mangy furball mutt ?!

Then he saw him.

Hiding.

Behind the hunters.

Trembling.

Ears flat. Tail tucked. Eyes full of panic and sweat.

Big D is scared of pigs.

"...Are you shitting me?"

he shat, big d!!!!

Big D refused to move.

"Fucking useless!"

He needed a weapon. he's familiar with

He dropped the bow, ran, and grabbed the hammer from a hunter nearby, who is also a miner.

it was short but heavy. it was used for mining 

Swinging, he could do.

Years of baseball. Vending machine abuse. Cockroach genocide.

He knew how to hit things.

Chunhe gripped his hammer and took a deep breath.

One of the biggest boars locked eyes with him. It snorted furiously, lowering its head for a charge.

Chunhe smirked, stepping aside at the last second. His sleeves flicked dramatically, making it look like some legendary martial technique.

In reality? He barely dodged in time.

"Hmph… child's play." he was sweating and shaking.

He spun his hammer, charging forward. The massive boar squeal, or a grunt , its hooves stomping the ground like it could crush rocks.

"Time for my special move!" Chunhe shouted. He flung a fistful of mud straight into the boar's face.

SPLAT!

The beast staggered, blinded.

"NOW, BIG D!"

Big D leapt like a lightning bolt, chomping down on the boar's hind leg. The beast twisted violently, trying to shake him off.

"PERFECT! 

He lunged forward, raising his hammer high…

"Now or never," 

The boar turned—too slow.

BAM!

Chunhe leaped, slamming his hammer down with everything he had.

Then—

SQUISH.

His foot slipped.

"Ah, f—!"

Before he could finish cursing, his head smashed directly into the boar's skull.

A direct hit.

Right on the bridge of the nose.

CRACK!

At the same time, his hammer slipped from his grip, flipped midair, and came crashing down—

Right onto his own head.

CRACK!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!"

Chunhe staggered, clutching his throbbing skull. His head felt like it got slammed between two iron doors.

Meanwhile, the boar twitched violently… then collapsed.

Dead.

Silence.

The hunters stared.

"...Did he just kill it with his face?"

"That… was kinda badass."

"No way that was not on purpose, right?"

In the spatial farm, the flower demon covered her mouth, giggling uncontrollably. Tears welled up in her pink eyes as her shoulders shook from laughter.

Big D barked proudly, puffing out his chest like a hero.

Chunhe forced himself to stand, wobbling like a drunk. Blood trickled down his forehead. He barely managed a grin.

"I told you…" he muttered, voice hoarse. "It's called… professional hunting."

Blood splashed from his head like a fountain

[Mission Complete!]

Reward: Sun Stone (Low Grade) Acquired!