DXD^FUCKER

To my dearest Sona Sitri,

You are my moon in the Underworld, and your bespectacled beauty has moved my cold and lustful heart.

The thing that has driven me into this passion frenzy, would be that dazzling mind of yours. The breath of your intelligence moves my every action!

I ask nothing from my love, other than to accept my gift of power and security. Please allow me to bestow upon you some knowledge of events from the future, that will give you your dreams!

What will I give to my lovely water goddess, you ask? I give you the certainty of forming your dream Rating Game School for all Devils!

The second thing my gift will bestow upon my love, is the ability to dominate the other youth Devils in the rating games, and claim your well deserved place as the Underworld's greatest mind.

What this humble and lowly Great Me will give to my Devil Goddess is ...

A Black Dragon Sacred Gear user, the future fastest Devil, and for the grand finally the crowning achievement for your Peerage... The Red Dragon Emperor himself!

Like any good Devil I have very easy and simple terms, they are as follows...

1: No one outside of your peerage is to know of this information, especially your friend Rias Gremory!

2: The Red Dragon Sacred Gear user will require all 8 of your Pawn Pieces to reincarnate to you! Yes their potential is that great, I guarantee in roughly 3 years he will be almost as strong as your Sister the Magical Girl Devil King.

3: The Black Dragon, Saji Genshirou, will require your last Rook piece. The speedster Nimura Ruruko, will need your last Knight Piece... I gave you the identity of these 2 as my first token of my love for you.

4: If any of the above conditions aren't met, I will timidly send the Red Dragon to one of your House's rivals... I may love you with all of my heart, but I'm the greatest Devil mind in the Underworld, so I have my pride!

5: If you wish to claim the Red Dragon for your Sitri House, the Underworld, and your future happiness... Then on the first week back from your vacation, have your Queen, Tsubaki Shinra, wear a medical mask to your Human school! My spies in the Human world will see this sign, and within the next week, I will trick the user of Red Heavenly Dragon to approach you himself!

Finally to my sadness, I will have to end this love letter and pine for you in my heart, for we aren't destined to be together in this lifetime.

I hope in our next lives, we can meet once more then we can let our souls finally be at peace.

From your one and only, Great Me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soooooooo yeah, that is the typed up letter currently sitting on Sona's desk!

I had gone to an out of the way computer shop and typed up this catastrophe!

I used gloves and the like to hide my identity as best I could. Not sure what kinda tracking magic the Devils have?

I then had my friendly animal friends deliver this into the office and will play... The Waiting Game.

Why am I beating myself up about this one might ask?

Simple, I was drunk off my fucking rocker!

Stupid Japan has beer in fucking vending machines, no joke!

Well stupid me, that used to kick back drinks in life zero, liked to partake once in a while and I had a high tolerance.

However the key word is, had!

Welp, a couple of beers and a reenactment of... The Hangover, movie!

I woke up realizing everything I did the previous night with full recollection of my stupid actions.

So I seem to have a drinking constitution between Grayfia and Rose from D×D. Go figure, I'm in a world based on it!

So the letter was not the only crime I committed that night, sadly no, I'm really good at doing really, really, stupid things!

I had used plants and critters to plant Boys Love books, in both of my friends' homes while they were at work at the beach... Then had the little friends make enough disturbance in the home to alert their parents to investigate their sons' rooms.

Yes this was a crime against the Bro Code, and this time I'm sorry guys!

Was that all I did? Fuck no!

Apparently Drunk Me thought the old anime abandoned church needed a lot of animal poop, freshly delivered onto their front porch.

How did Drunk Me even come up with that shit!? Huh, I seem to have made a joke there.

Even though Karen and I met up plenty, after that magical night, she went back to her Friend Zone mode...

Not gonna lie, I thought we would have been in her apartment getting to know each other more intimately, at least that's how all the fan-fiction say it is supposed to be.

Well sadly no, the girls don't just jump on your manhood at first meeting... Damn lying fan-fiction!

Anyway the greatest crime I committed was with Karen.

I saw her walking while I was just starting to finish my 2nd beer, and when I was walking up to the pair.

I just kissed Kalawarna on the lips!

Not a passionate one, just a peck, but that was not why I'm ashamed.

No, it's because when I was going to give Precious a kiss on her head, that damn Mastiff licked my puckered lips!

It looked like I was aiming to kiss Precious by any bystanders, I think my dignity is gone...

Well I don't think Karen was upset I kissed her, but she laughed so hard at my kiss with her dog, that my heart broke.

Then Drunk Me didn't even stay to say sorry or anything, I just walked off and said to Karen.

"Gotta go, hot stuff, I need to visit my friends' homes to give them back their books!"

-

Well the 2nd term is about to start, and as usual my Dad has me scheduled to work that weekend before school starts...

I agreed, because I found out Rias had placed a pick-up order with my Dad, so I want to be there to hand off the goods.

It isn't because I don't trust my Dad to deal with Rias... but it's because I really don't trust my Dad to not shame me in front of her.

That damn Dad of mine, just is scum.

Speaking of my Dad, it would be nice to point out that my Mom is very happy with my Japanese style landscaping, because thanks to my plant and earth skill, we have the most beautiful home garden in Kuoh Town.

Thanks to the fact I can raise rare flowers and Koi fish, and I even have those Disney bushes shaped into different sculptures.

I overdid it again!

-

The end of summer vacation...

It is now Sunday before school starts again, and I'm running things in the bookstore.

Thankfully my Dad is fucking-off somewhere else!

It is noon, and I'm eagerly watching the front door, like a fan waiting for his favorite actress to come up the walkway!

Why, because Rias is the iconic-person next to Issei in this former anime world, plus I like redheads!

I know it is weird to be so happy, but meeting Rias gives me the same damn feeling, like when I went to the fountain for the first time!

It's like a D×D bucket-list of things you must do if you were to revive in this world.

Damn she is late!

Ding Ding~! What stupid get up will she try... [Stone Statue Mode activated!]

I'm not going to throw all the damn flowery descriptions of why my heart just stopped beating for a moment, or two.

In walked a beautiful European model, with unnaturally crimson hair.

Shit, Issei's description of the Crimson Goddess was a travesty to what my eyes are seeing right now!

"Damn I hate to admit it, but she is slightly, just slightly prettier than even Karen! I will never tell Karen, I said that or she would kill me!"

While I was holding Rias's shopping bag in my outstretched-hand, admiring her pink sundress and sunhat combo, Rias broke me from my stupidity.

"Who's Karen and what did you say?"

She smiled while saying that.

"Huh? Did I say that out loud again?"

Then Rias gave me a head-tilt and nodded.

Damn she is hot!

"Sorry senior, I was just thinking you managed to beat out my favorite 2D waifu, and I said sorry to her in my head. But it seems every time you are around, my mouth says stupid things!"

Ding Ding~! Rias just takes the bag from my hand and says to me.

"Awe, That's such a sweet compliment. Well tell Karen I'm sorry... I'm claiming that spot!"

"Wow, why did that sound so awesome?"

To my absolute horror, I didn't notice the new arrivals in the store.

My bastard Dad's voice was heard behind Rias...

"See Honey, I told you my Son was a lady killer!"

Followed by my Mom's voice...

"Well his good taste came from his beautiful mother!"

It is all over, why, why, why are my damn parents here, now?!

Rias turns to face the demonic couple that enters the store acting like they owned the place... Scratch that, they do own it!

"Hello Dear, my Husband and I are Touji and Kyiomi Tanaka, it is a pleasure to meet another friend of Matsuda."

She then elegantly raises her hand to shake Rias's outstretched hand.

Slap~! After they shook hands, my Dad tried to reach out, but his hand was slapped hard by my Mom, who followed with...

"Don't be rude... Your hands are filthy!"

That's my Mom for sure...

Rias politely tells the older couple.

"Hello, I'm Rias Gremory, a 2nd year student and am happy to meet the both of you. I really enjoy your family's store. It lets me experience the Japanese culture that I and my family admire so much."

Did you think that's all the damage my parents were going to inflict on their child?

Well you thought wrong!

My Mom said to Rias.

"If you ever want to see the best Japanese style garden in all Kuoh Town, with exotic plants and a Koi pond, just ask Matsuda to invite you, and you're welcome over anytime!"

Followed by a waste of space...

"Miss Rias, do you like younger Japanese men that have neeeeeeever had a girlfriend before?!"

Rias tactfully followed up with...

"Not right at the moment, my studies are very demanding."

So the trio said some minor blah, blah, blah things and then all of them turned in my direction, and all their faces were interesting...

Rias just put her hand over her mouth and snickered.

My Mom said to the Matsuda sculpture...

"Dear, close your mouth."

And the dipstick Dad said something idiotic...

"What's wrong with you? Did you need to take a dump?"

The reason for their response was... I have had my hand held-out this whole time, in the bag holding motion, with a look of horror and a wide open mouth!

Yup, I don't even remember Rias saying goodbye!

+-+-+--------------------------------+-+-+

Advance chapter in PATREON

patreon.com/Achilles_Stein

patreon.com/Achilles_Stein

30 +Chapters

Update Schedule: 4 Chapter/week.

Every 50 Power Stones+1 (5 Review)

= 1 Chapter+1Chapter

By voting with [power stones], you can easily get double the number of chapters