DxD: Matsuda!

     Alright, I am done saving the world from what could have been the biggest Black-light disaster issue ever! Now my room is squeaky clean, time to head down for the bath then to the refrigerator to eat my moms breakfast... Well she is an average cook, but for Japanese dishes she is better than me. I mostly made western style meals at Earth zero. It is very bizarre to get a whole new set of routines from my past life thrown in. Like in Japan they like to shower and soap before entering the tub for a nice hot soak, meh when in Rome!

     A while later and no I did  not fall asleep and almost drowned and would meet Big G again.... damn. Anyway I get to the fridge and open it and what do I see, birthday balloons coming out of the damn refrigerator ha ha, you got me mom! Ah she left me last night's stir-fry and a slice of cake with a candle in it that says,[Happy birthday super stud!] Then I blew out the candle.... OK I won't send my parents  away.

     Now what did she say before she left,"That's right mom said mow that damn lawn or she would pimp my tight ass out to  the neighbors kid!" I shudder just thinking about that female sumo-wrestler! Alright where is that lawn mower...... I am currently heading to the shed to do my work before the noon sun peaks and gets me all dirty again... sigh, manual labor on my big day! When I opened the shed and was about to pull the mower out, this funky sensation tingled in my spine and in my eyes, that really made me freak out just a bit.

     "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SPIDEY SENSE!" I had this sudden urge to put the mower back and go to my room and pack all my DVD porn in two boxes, before Issei and Motohama showed up. OK I feel like I just lost my marbles. This feeling or urge is not making me do it but it's like I have this feeling that if I don't do it I would regret it later.

     "Let's do this, I am in the land of the supernatural and I need to go with the flow!" I push the mower back in and rush to my room. After finding a pair of boxes my dad had from his job, I started to split my treasure, I mean garbage porn into the two boxes, damn past me love of porn and Loli's! All of a sudden that feeling returned like it was saying 'Good job now take them to the living room', so I did just that and received that feeling of a job well done.

     So after finishing my first system quest in this world, I decided to go finish the yard work again, but was stopped in front of the shed again. Now that I understand this feeling better I tried decoding it in my heart..... From what I can tell I should just go in my living room and watch TV till the boys show up, so I did.

     About noon the doorbell rang informing the master of the house, me, that the help had arrived. So I slowly go to the front door letting them ring a few more times just to piss them off a bit, then say while looking out the peephole,"Who is it?~" I quiet my snicker a bit and wait.

     "Damn it Matsuda! Just let us in already!" Hearing Issei's voice in real life is totally different from the anime! Shit I guess God was right about it not being 2D anymore.

     So I smugly opened the door to see two sweaty 16 year old boys with the most pathetic looks on their faces, and I actually got concerned for a second. I asked them,"What happened to you guys?"

     Motohama wheezed out a pathetic despondence and said,"Issei and I saw this hot babe walking this big ass mastiff, and Issei thought it would be really cool to get her number and give it to you as a birthday present, but that's when it all went horribly wrong."

     Issei then spoke up,"Yup, I walked up to her all mature and adult-like, and when I got close I noticed she had the nicest rack I have seen on a woman in this neighborhood!" He sighed helplessly and continued,"Well it was going great till I had a bit of drool fall off my lip, then that crazy woman sent her dog after us shouting MOLESTERS!" Then his head sank.

     "MWAHAHAHA" I could not help it, I literally dropped to my knees and laughed my ass off. After some dirty looks from Issei, I stood up and said with the most serious expression I could give the pair. I pointed to the two boxes of porn and announced,"I have a mission if you choose to accept it! Each of you can receive a box of top of the line best selling PORN! All you have to do is mow my yard, and do all my house work before my mother gets home!"

     The two idiots stared at the two boxes and gulped loudly, then said,"Really?" I nodded in the affirmative, and a miracle happened on my 16th birthday.

     My house outside and inside had never shined so brightly, and to this day my mother has never figured out how it happened so quickly!

     "OK Father who art in heaven..... Thanks a big one for teaching me I can pay with porn" I give the sky a big thumbs up!