Kick your ass in nine moves!
[UM THAT'S THE SPOT M-MASTER, JUST WAKE UUUUUUP!, THAT is RIGHT TOUCH ME~]
I wake up and turn off that creepy alarm.
"Damn, that one seems a bit disturbing. Was that voice Momo Momozono? I used to like her, but now I realize she just sleeps with anyone, ew my man's dreams have been crushed." sniff
So yesterday, after my manly run down the mountain of shame, I ended up going to the electronic store and used up most of my savings on a nice computer. Well nice for this time period. Then I picked up around 40 books [including all 3 school years of main classes] and a few mind strengthening games like chess to help practice my mental training, and maybe learn stuff.... sigh I was a bit dumb in my past life. No really I am now smart enough to know I was a borderline idiot. Do not get me wrong I was smart in normal life matters but damn who can remember the table of elements!?
And since the student counsel's office won't be open till Monday to get my shit straight, I will just camp at home and do some reading, research, and some daily exercise.........
After four days of a hikikomori lifestyle........................
HOLY CRAP I COULD NOT STOP!!!!!!!!!! I only wanted to do some learning and brush up on what the school would be teaching, then 'It' happened! My eyes and brain felt like a dry desert in a parched land never seeing the joy of rain, then when the rain fell my world opened up and it felt like losing one's virginity! When I got a taste of that sweet intellectual sexiness, I had to do it over and over like a rabbit in spring!
Pant pant pant! I was able to learn and memorize all three school year books from cover to cover and learn many other subjects outside of high school as well. Not only did I perfectly memorize the material, but when the books were added together it gave me the ability to glimpse information that was not clearly written there. I was able to learn things like Sun-Sues [Art of War], chess, go, art design, and many other fields that could be learned via books and computers! Hell I was even able to crush the computer AI in master level chess like bullying a kindergartner!
So ya, I actually finished learning in three days, but on the last day I signed up for an online popular first person shooter with the game-name [Jesus Christ] and found out I had supernatural hand and eye coordination plus the ability to project paths of attack, even in a 2D game?! Well let's just say I got banned for too many complaints from players for cheating?! I could not really prove them wrong and admit I used magic or the like right? Personally I am sure 90% of those little bitches just had trauma from getting one shot over and over again by a sniper called [Jesus Christ]!
Meh So after cleaning up and starting a new day from my locked door cultivation, I headed down to finally eat breakfast with my parents.
"Your majesty has finally decided to grace us with your presence?" My mother said with a bit of sarcasm in her voice.
Followed by my deadbeat fathers snicker and commentary,"Dear do not be too hard on my son, he is going to the most prestigious international academy in our city, and since this is the first year it has gone coed in its history, he has to do some manly preparations to clear his mind of all that beautiful scenery!" Followed by a Master Roshi lecherous thumbs up.
As my mother handed us our food and sat down she asked,"Is what your handsome and loving father said true son? Did you lock yourself up and release your inner demons?" She was obviously just trying to playfully tease me at this point.
So I suddenly stood up from my chair and straightened my back and declared,"NO MAM! When I had my birthday, I did some soul searching of my life and what I want to accomplish! I saw a sign when my computer exploded from too much pornography and seeing the miserable life my only two friends have, I made a vow to give up porn forever! I learned that the girls in those movies and magazines are not the type of girl I would be proud of to bring home and meet my lovely mother!"
My bold and proud declaration was met with, silence, absolute silence. My parents both had two very different looks on their faces at the moment. My mother had this look like she saw a second head form on my shoulders, while my father had the look of walking in his bedroom seeing his wife servicing an entire football team at once. I then sat down in the awkward silence, and asked,"Can someone please pass the butter?"
My father jumps to his feet with his hands on the table and shouts,"IT'S A LIE! YOU CAN'T MEAN T-THIS RIGHT? YOUR MY SON, THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE T-TOGETHER DON'T LEAVE ME! What can I do to change your mind? I know how about I let you in the restricted area and let you pick ten, even better twenty of any of the good stuff!?" Wow he is actually crying, but I had to break it off clean.
"I am sorry father, it's not you, it's me. We have just grown apart and I want to live a healthier, well mostly healthier life. If I continue down the path you have paved for me, I am confident I will be a very lonely man." I said proudly. Well seeing his [I just got NTR'd] face, I almost comforted him.
Then my mother said,"I am very proud of you son! I hear you have been doing some nice things lately too, for instance some of the other mothers in the neighborhood said you gave one of the neighbor girls a nice apology. Keep it up, Mother will support you." She said with an elegant smile on her face.
At that moment father stood from his chair again, leering over me and growled out,"BRAT, what's with that part of bringing girls home to meet your mother? Why would you not introduce them to me as well?"
Sigh I said,"Dad it does not matter for you. You will literally accept ANY woman I bring home, duh....." He then sat down with a nod like he won the fight.
Mother then reminded me,"Get your school taken care of as the time limit is soon approaching." I then said I would go after breakfast, and so I did.
I wore one of my nicer outfits today, knowing that I would be meeting the ever popular foil to Rias, Sona Sitri. I know she does not go by that name in school, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was? Was her fake last name [Sona Shit-rye]? Why would anyone want a poop sounding last name?
Discarding my random thoughts I thought about what I would be doing differently here. First I am NOT going to do stupid photography, just for porn... sigh. I will join only two clubs now, my first is the chess club because well DxD is ALL about chess right? And I found that no one should be able to beat me in a game, without cheating that is. Second will be the swimming club, because I am Goddamn Aqua-man, but cooler! Plus I won't lie, girls in Japanese school swimsuits are super hot. cough
I now find myself standing at the gates of this vault of beautiful treasures, and I admire this prestigious Kuoh Academy in all its 3D real world glory.....
Fuck its huge! Well it has to be, it is an international school with middle, high, and college all in one spacious institution.
The school year here in Japan is different than in the States, the US has the school year split in half with a long summer and a winter and spring break that is very short. But in Japan most schools actually have three blocks of school instead of just two. The beginning of the school-year starts in April and is considered the start of a new grade level. Between each of the three blocks is a one month vacation. Phew, that was one hell of a recap for me!
After using the handy map app on my phone, I was able to find the Student Council's room without issue, this is where students get the course and class assignment plus where school club activities and many many more functions happen. In this school however the real power is not the Principal who is just a figurehead, but the devils of the student council. The door is open for the public so I head in and observe what's going on.
So let's see who I recognize from either of my memories. Ah nice they are currently wearing name-tags, crap avert eyes from boobs damn it! I see Sona sitting at the head desk, and her name tag is um, ah that's it! [Souna Shitori] OK I was wrong it is not poop!
And off to the desk on the side is her queen [Tsubaki Shinra], holy cow she is sooooooo much sexier in real life! Wait, she has two colors of eyes, heterochromia eyes, with a violet left eye and a light brown right eye, is that a sacred gear like mine? I can't remember what she had?
Able to pull my gaze away, I see another girl by the name of [Momo Hanakai], damn I don't remember her too, she must be a sad mob like me.
Hmm, and a girl with a warm and cozy look to her, she is [Reya Kusaka].
And over there is an athletic looking girl doing heavy lifting named [Tsubasa Yura]. If I remember right she falls for my friend Issei because he always gets his ass handed to him, she must love nursing up wounded puppy's or something.
And wait, where is that Black Dragon punk with the frog tongue? I think his name was Saji um-mm ah ya its Saji Genshirou! That would be embarrassing to forget him. I think he is kinda important, but he is not in the peerage yet, oh ya its first year, right!
And finally I do not see that troublesome little girl that acts like a yip yip dog, I think she was, Nimura Ruruko.
It seems the other couple of no name mob students have got their uniforms and itineraries, so it's my turn.
I froze, oh my God who do I get helped by, they're all so cute, well half of them, and this is important! I only get to do this one time so who do I choose?! 'Eeny, meeny, miny, moe♪, Catch a tiger by the toe♫, If he hollers let him go♪, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe♫, My mother told me To pick the very best one and you are [not] it!♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪ '
I walk up to the winner and do my Friends impersonation,"Hello Ms Tsubaki Shinra! How you do~in~?" Nailed it Joey, thanks!
The beautiful Tsubaki gives me a blank stare and asks,"How may I help you sir?" Damn she is a block of ice!
Cough "I am Matsuda Tanaka and I came for my uniforms and itineraries, plus I would like to inquire about a club change." I lost my goofy look and gave out my business smile.
"I would like to change my photography club to chess due to being bad at cameras, and the fact I am the best chess player God has ever created, and would like to bring my new school glory!" I declared calmly.
"Mr Tanaka we normally do not allow club transfers without just cause, so I will have to decline that, try again next block." She said professionally. Nope that won't work for me.
I turn to the club president and say,"Ms Souna Shitori I have memorized the school rules from beginning to end and I wish to formally request your intervention in this. To prove my chess skill is a must for the school's reputation I shall challenge VP Shinra to a timed game of chess, If she is unable to play due to lack of ability, I will allow any council member to be her proxy! If I win I get my transfer to the chess club, but if I lose I will not bother the council this year and take pictures of grass for the year!"
Sona looks at her queen and the latter nods back then Sona says,"OK, Mr Tanaka you made a valid case, and I happen to have a board and timer here, we shall let the two of you play now under your agreement." We all gather around the table....
Ten minutes later........................
Matsuda walked out of the office whistling an unknown song, with a smile that makes you want to punch him.
As Matsuda left with his uniforms and itinerary, Tsubaki asked in a daze,"What just happened?!?"
Her king then replied after pushing up her glasses looking out the door,"He kicked your ass in nine moves, that's what happened."