Dutchess of the End

I woke to darkness. To cold, unrelenting darkness, like the flame of all life that had been constantly surrounding me from birth had shunned me, left me alone in the vast plain I travelled on.

 

“Steph?” I asked, my voice croaking as I sat up. Though my eyes were open, I saw nothing. The skin of my bare body only just visible in the dark outlines of the room. Stephanie’s wagon. It was easy to make it out. The walls lined with various outfits, the bed perpetually unmade and housing at least one nude woman on it. The smell of womanly aroma, once enticing and addicting now a dull stench of joys past.

 

Beneath me, I felt no jolts of the wagon as it were carried along by a pair of horses. I felt only the shifting of the down-filled mattress as I rolled off of it, kneeling besides it, my joints creaking as I pulled myself up. The cold was as unrelenting as it had been, blasting my bare skin with the anger of night. Somehow, I’d slept through the day. Past Stephanie’s nap, through the other women leaving, perhaps even…?

 

She better not be in my bed… I thought. If Stephanie wanted her quarters to host as many women as she could feasibly hold at once, then so be it. I’d rather her not use my wagon as a backup location for her wild parties.

 

I loosely pulled a robe over me- hardly protection from the cold, but at the same time just enough to cover my chest and pelvis. With bare feet and blue fingers, I poked my head out of the wagon. Sure enough, I’d also slept through dinner, through the ensuing fires that went with it. The smoulders of the usual bonfire were all that remained of what was probably a lovely meal. My stomach rumbled at the sight of it, and I sighed. I could wait until breakfast.

 

Fighting the bitter cold to get back to my wagon wasn’t too difficult. I’d long since arranged for Stephanie’s to be parked next to mine every night. It might have made getting back on the road a minute or two slower, but I liked the closeness it allowed us. At least, on the nights we didn’t spend arm in arm.

 

“Hey,” I whispered as I stepped into my own wagon. I expected to see at least three women if not more: Stephanie, Prinna, and Alana. Instead, I saw none. I frowned, not expecting my bed to have been empty. “Dammit, Steph.”

 

I stomped off then, using what little light the waning moon could give me combined with the forgotten embers to guide my path. It only took a few moments of scanning, but eventually I saw it.

 

A single guardswoman, standing tall and proud amidst a sleeping city of tents. The one she stood next to was closed, the square design I’d only ever seen and never used for myself. The guardswoman wore a loose set of chainmail armour, holding a spear that was taller than the both of us.

 

“Hannah?” I asked with a whisper as I approached. The woman shook her head. I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved or disappointed.

 

“Yemis, Grand Archivist.” She said, whispering back. “The Princess slumbers with our Alihjn friends.”

 

“All three?”

 

“All three, yes.” She said with a nod.

 

“Damn that girl.” I muttered to myself before entering, not addressing the guard further.

 

I should have expected what I saw. Stephanie held Renai close to her, a hand on the woman’s stomach, their heads touching at the temple, blonde hair mixing with Alihjn white. A beautiful sight, a tempting one were I not cold and tired still. Laying nearby where Alana and Prinna, both sleeping with smiles on their faces, holding one another even closer than Stephanie held Renai. One was cuddled up against the other’s back, four hands clasped, ankles intertwined.

 

As soon as I finished taking in the scene I realised how warm it was. Unnaturally so, as though the Sun were shining upon us in all her golden glory. Instead, we had the cold loneliness of the Moon, the Lifegiver that lay in perpetual chase.

 

Magic, I thought. There was no other explanation, no other reason for me to shed the loose-fitting robe and lay next to Stephanie. I placed a kiss on her lips, my hand on her waist as I quickly drifted off.

 

--

 

I had experienced magic before. I’d seen it in bits and pieces, threads of a collective memory nearly forgotten as they twirled around me in strands of glittery thread. I was a little girl the last time I’d seen a grand spell such as that. The purpose was purely for my amusement, which it achieved with flying colours. I remember watching the pinks and purples dance throughout my Sire’s Throne Room, chasing after them with outstretched hands and a perpetual giggle on my lips. 

 

The magic I woke up to was anything but that. It was invisible, yet comforting. It enveloped me in a closeness I hadn’t experienced since before leaving Castle Telbud, a warmth that I hadn’t known in months. I awoke naked, still in the company of women who had yet to dress themselves. The camp just outside the tent was bustling, and I knew they’d come to evict me and my temporary tentmates.

 

“Carla, you’re up, good. We’re leaving soon, here.” I heard Stephanie’s voice as I sat up, feeling a cool, familiar fabric thrust into my lap. I looked up at her and smiled. Somehow, she wasn’t naked. The woman was oh so fond of eschewing clothing at every opportunity that it was a small wonder to me she’d managed to dress herself with any time to spare at all.

 

“Thanks.” I slipped on the thin robe I’d worn last night before slipping into the pair of shoes I’d walked here in. Warm as it was, we’d need to leave. Soon.

 

“Must’ve gotten fucked real good yesterday.” Alana’s voice called to me as I took in my surroundings. Prinna sat in a corner of the tent, rolling up a sleeping bag. Renai was nowhere to be found- potentially assisting in breakfast, if her activities at Proja were any indicator.

 

“Real fucking good.” I said, watching Stephanie shove what remained of an outfit into the top of one of their packs. It was odd, seeing her actually do work, but it was a nice gesture. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when she began to care for our pale friends, but it was good. She was learning.

 

“And you didn’t even have Renli’s tongue. She told me you want her later.” Stephanie said, handing the backpack to Prinna, who tied the sleeping bag to the outside of it, slinging it over her shoulder.

 

“So you two,” I said, nodding to Prinna and Alana. “Seems yesterday was kind to the both of you.”

 

“Prinna’s a sweetheart, how could I say no when she confessed in such a cute way?” Alana asked, giving Prinna a brief kiss on the lips. Prinna kissed back, face soaring into a wide smile that would not look out of place on a younger girl who just experienced her first crush.

 

“Wish I could have seen it, I was kind of distracted.” Stephanie said.

 

“I am happy.” Prinna said, returning my nod.

 

“Good. Glad, happy for you.” I said. I meant it. The sentiment felt odd as it left my lips. Had I ever been happy for other women’s romantic endeavours coming to fruition? There was hardly time to think about it. Outside, I could hear the neighing of the horses as they were brought back into formation.

 

“We should go, huh?” Alana asked.

 

“You two are free to use my wagon and my oils as you see fit.” I told them, crawling over to the entrance of the tent and untying it.

 

“Thanks, we might just.” Alana said. Prinna nodded enthusiastically, which earned a giggle from Stephanie.

 

“Come on, then, lovebirds. You two go get situated before we get left behind.” Stephanie said, shooing the two out of the tent with a light, playful smack to each of their asses as they left. When it was just the two of us, Stephanie turned to me. The tent flaps were open wide, and I could see the progress being made towards leaving. We had time.

 

“Hey,” I said, smiling at her, reaching out to caress a cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact, her head moving of its own accord to nuzzle the palm of my hand, her shoulder lifting up to keep it in place.

 

“Yeah?” She said back dreamily.

 

“We did good by them didn’t we?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“And… Steph?” I said tentatively. It wasn’t the first time I used that nickname for her, but in these moments, no other name felt right. My pulse quickened, my stomach beginning to tie itself into a thick knot as I thought about what I wanted to say. I pulled my hand back, and she opened her eyes.

 

“Yeah?” She whispered, our heads moving closer to one another. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my Birth Mark beginning to glow a faint blue.

 

“I love you.” I said.

 

Stephanie stopped moving, stopped breathing, stopped any activity at all save for staring at me, wide-eyed. Fear spun in my head, rotating my thoughts around a vortex of regret. At least, until she kissed me.

 

“I love you, too, Carla.” She said back.

 

We kissed again. I threw my robe open and pulled Stephanie’s hands to my chest. She held my breasts lightly as we kissed, my body crying out for her, the woman I loved, more and more with each passing moment, each glide of her lips against mine, each wet, full kiss.

 

“Grand Archivist,” A voice called out what felt like but a second after me and Steph connected. “Preparations are nearly complete, we’ll be needing your tent.”

 

“Take it.” I said, not caring that we’d be watched if we continued. Stephanie didn’t slow down in her kisses, either. Not when the stakes around the tent were pulled up with a few loud dings of a hammer on metal, not when the thing was drug over our bodies, revealing my newly nude form to the cold of the morning as it lay atop damp grass. Not until the last possible moment, when another guardswoman I couldn’t name tapped me on the shoulder, indicating all preparations were complete. It was with reluctance that I stood up and dressed. I had at least a hundred eyes on me, my exposed skin, and my two Marks glowing hotter than the morning sun.

 

I draped the robe over myself, pulling Stephanie along to her wagon with a smile and a giggle on my lips. A giggle! I was a high-ranking stateswoman, it was an embarrassment for me to be galavanting about as I had been.

 

But it was Stephnie I was galavanting with. So I didn’t care. She was all I cared about, she all I wanted and needed.

 

I closed the wagon up behind the two of us mere seconds before the wheels began to shift, using the light of my Marks to navigate over to where Stephanie had already doused hers with a few drops of perfumed oil.

 

“I love you.” I said again. I touched her chest- still clothed with garments I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about to describe. “I do, I really do. I’m sorry I didn’t realise it sooner.”

 

“You came around. I’ve loved you for a while, I know you probably wanted to say it first.”

 

“Shut up and fuck me.” I said.

 

And she did.