Dungeon Seoul

It started with an email.

> To: Kang Jinho

Subject: Invitation – Professional Exchange Combat Evaluation

From: Shin Doyoon

P.S. Wear your nicest shoes. I don't want to humiliate you while you're in crocs.

Jinho stared at his screen. His crocs glared back at him in silence.

"Pan," he muttered. "Why is my rival sending me fight invites like we're college exes?"

"MAYBE HE IS YOUR EX.

YOUR ENERGY SAYS 'UNRESOLVED TENSION.'"

Error 701: Gay Subtext Overflow.

"…That's not helpful."

"I TRY MY BEST."

Tiger Gate's guild cafeteria buzzed with whispers.

"Did you hear? Shin Doyoon's coming. From Silvercore."

"He's an A-ranker already, right? And didn't he duel a dungeon boss to death using a rose whip and sarcasm?"

Jinho set his tray down and slumped into the nearest seat. His eggs looked judgmental.

Across from him, Seo Riyeon flipped through her tablet. "Your 'exchange combat' was authorized five minutes ago. Mirae says it'll be televised internally. She called it a 'morale-boosting humiliation ritual.'"

"I've been set up."

"Correct."

Pan hovered nearby, muttering to itself in corrupted poetry.

"I HAVE WRITTEN YOU

A FIGHT SONG.

TITLE: 'I DIE, BUT FABULOUSLY.'"

Riyeon blinked. "…Your pan writes odes now?"

"Only on Thursdays."

🔹🔹🔹🔹

The training arena gleamed under the HQ lights—clean, soundproofed, and reinforced with mana-resistant alloy. A crowd of guild members and admin staff circled the upper balconies, snacks in hand. Bets were placed. Arguments were whispered.

And then he walked in.

Shin Doyoon, Silvercore Guild's golden boy. Tall, sharp-featured, and annoyingly photogenic, his aura shimmered like a hero buff was permanently active. He wore a crisp silver jacket and fingerless gloves that probably cost more than Jinho's rent.

He raised two fingers in a lazy salute. "Yo, Kang. Still alive, huh?"

"Unfortunately," Jinho replied.

Doyoon grinned.

"I heard your pan talks now," he said, walking a slow circle around the arena. "I've fought liches who were less dramatic than your cookware."

Pan floated up, glowing faintly.

"I REMEMBER YOU.

YOU HAVE DIED IN MY DREAMS

MANY TIMES."

Doyoon blinked. "…Did it just threaten me?"

"Yes," Jinho said. "That's how it says hello."

The referee, a dead-eyed intern with a clipboard and three protective charms shouted, "Ready… set… begin!"

Doyoon moved fast.

Wind magic spiraled around him, coating his gloves in shimmering blades of pressure. He lunged, striking with dancer-like speed.

Jinho blocked.

Pan rang like a temple bell. Sparks flew.

"I AM THE IRON SKY

YOUR FISTS BREAK UPON ME

LIKE BAD METAPHORS."

"You've upgraded," Doyoon said, circling again. "That pan actually parried me."

"It also thinks it's a poet."

"CORRECTION.

I AM A WAR-BARD."

The next exchange was faster. Doyoon ducked a horizontal swing, countered with a snap-kick, and released a burst of compressed air that hurled Jinho backwards.

Jinho landed in a roll, legs burning.

[Glitch Detected – Skill Bleed: "Featherstep" absorbed from opponent]

You have learned: "Probably Not Falling (Lv. 0)"

"…That's not even a real skill!" Jinho yelled mid-air.

"IT IS NOW," Pan replied.

Up in the observation lounge, Yoo Mirae,Guildmaster of Tiger Gate sipped a canned espresso.

"Interesting," she murmured, watching Jinho glitch-dodge a flurry of strikes and accidentally slide through a wall.

Her aide blinked. "That shouldn't be possible."

"It's not," Mirae said. "That's the point."

Below them, Doyoon followed Jinho through the newly-formed hole in the arena barrier. "Hey, genius! This is supposed to be a controlled fight!"

"You kicked me through a wall!"

"Because you blocked with a sarcastic frying pan!"

"I AM NOT SARCASTIC," Pan hissed. "I AM TRAGICALLY WITTY."

Mid-combat, the floor flickered.

Reality rippled like film burning in reverse. The arena shifted, walls stretched, air distorted, and a floating error icon appeared above both fighters.

[System Notice: Anomalous Skill Fusion Detected]

➤ Whirlwind Palm (Shin Doyoon)

➤ Hot Surface Aggression (Pan-0)

Skill Fused: "Sauté Cyclone – Tempest of Regret"

A vortex formed. It smelled like roasted garlic and ego.

Doyoon tried to counterspell it. Pan sang.

"BLOW, BLOW, O STORM OF KITCHEN!

BURN HIS PRIDE TO A FINE REDUCTION."

Jinho stood dumbfounded as the windstorm sent Doyoon spiraling into a pile of safety mats.

"…Did I win?"

Pan spun.

"VICTORY IS RELATIVE.

BUT HUMILIATION IS ABSOLUTE."

🔹🔹🔹🔹

Doyoon groaned and sat up. "Okay. Fine. I underestimated you."

"You got beaten by sauté poetry."

"Don't remind me."

Jinho helped him up. "So… why the invitation, really?"

Doyoon dusted off his jacket. "Silvercore's sniffing around. Mirae's locking you down. I just wanted to see for myself what the hell you've turned into."

"And?"

"You're still annoying." Doyoon offered a smirk. "But you're getting dangerous."

A system ping echoed:

[Reputation Gained: "Rival of the Stormblade"]

[New Title Unlocked: "Walking Patch Note"]

🔹🔹🔹🔹

Back at HQ

Later that night, Jinho returned to his dorm to find 15 new messages, including:

>Re: Re: Silvercore Talent Exchange Offer

>Invitation: Interview with French Guild 'NéoCode'

>Tiger Gate Press Release: "Local Frying Pan Declared Legal Weapon"

Pan floated above his bed.

"WE HAVE MADE ENEMIES.

AND PROBABLY FANS.

I HAVE POSTED FANFICTION."

"…Of what?"

"US.

KISSING."

Jinho buried his face in a pillow and screamed.