Dragonlord

Ep 87. What Is It That You Truly Desire? (1)

Next sunrise, Aldrid and Raizel accompanied the dragonlord making her way towards the Mage Association’s exit.

“My lord, are you sure you’re alright? It wouldn’t hurt to rest a bit more…”

“It’s alright. I feel no different than before.”

Despite Aldrid’s insistence on rest, Serenis couldn’t feel the need for it; unlike the deity’s worries, her new arm felt as if it’d always been there. Instead, the dragonlord wanted nothing more than to head off as soon as possible so that she could return that much sooner.

But when the dragonlord opened the association’s gate, an unexpected scenery slowed her steps to a gradual halt.

“Lord Serenis!”

“…?”

Serenis scanned the courtyard with a puzzled gaze. It wasn’t just a single person calling her name; before her very eyes was practically a sea of people, calling her name in unison. With a proper title to boot.

Men and women, children and elders alike were standing in the courtyard to address the dragonlord’s appearance; it seemed like every single refugee the city had to offer had gathered here. Every single one was waving their hands, expressing their gratitude, and wishing good fortune on the dragonlord before them.

Meanwhile, Serenis herself hadn’t expected anything of the sort.

“…What in…”

“Huh, look at that. They really did come out.”

At the steel dragon’s disinterested remark, both Serenis and Aldrid turned their heads towards her.

“…Child, what’s going on?”

Despite the pair of puzzled, suspecting stares, Raizel merely shrugged in response.

“Some kid asked me what I’d be up to today, so I told him I’m going to the northern continent with you. Everyone started freaking out when I said that.”

“Then this is…”

When Serenis scanned the gathered refugees once more, she could now make out the fact that many were holding something in their hands: coins, pouches, all sorts of foods and flowers caught her eye, with their holders shouting towards the dragonlord.

“Lord Serenis, take these! They’re coin from Astellion!”

“Thank you for saving our family!”

“Serenis, will you marry me?!”

“Huh? Who the hell said the last one?”

“…Pft.”

As Raizel shot angry glares at the gathered people, a hint of laughter escaped the dragonlord’s lips.

“Even though they couldn’t be doing very well themselves…”

Beaming a bright smile at her lord, Aldrid gestured forward with her hand.

“The people may not be well-off, but at least they’re alive in one piece. And they have you to appreciate for that.”

Following the deity’s gesture, the sea of people split into two like magic, creating a path towards the courtyard’s exit.

“If it weren’t for you, my lord, most of us wouldn’t be here right now.”

“But…what caused this incident to begin with was-“

“The Reaper.”

“…”

“Am I wrong?”

The whole incident that befell Partivine had been Felicir’s attempt to eliminate the dragonlord from his world. At least in some ways, Serenis had felt responsible for the city’s misfortune.

Had she not reincarnated,

Had she not come to this city,

Had she been even slightly more careful in using her star affinity, Felicir may never have descended upon Partivine. The incident wasn’t necessarily her fault, but it was clear that Serenis had been the initial trigger.

Then, was their gratitude misguided? Would their appreciation immediately disappear if they were to learn that Serenis had triggered the whole incident?

“You’re thinking the same thing as Lady Iris, aren’t you? That you don’t deserve their gratitude.”

Aldrid interrupted the dragonlord’s thoughts with a sheepish smile. The deity graciously accepted one of the flowers being offered, and held it out to her lord.

“We’re not blind, my lord. We may be weak and foolish at times, but we can at least discern when someone wants to harm us.”

“…”

“And we can also discern when someone wants to protect us. Cause is important, but so is intent.”

At Aldrid’s words, faint memories flickered before the dragonlord’s eyes.

- ‘Just like how you can’t abandon the kin, I can’t abandon them either, Serenis. I’m sorry if this isn’t how you wanted me to grow, but I hope you know I didn’t mean ill.’

- ‘It’s the thought that counts, mother. And I’m sure she knows yours.’

Was that really the case?

‘I’m still not sure.’

But it must be true. After all, her children had never lied to her. So it must be true.

“…I suppose you’re right.”

At least this time, she didn’t hesitate.

At least this time, she’d made a choice. Even if it wasn’t the correct one.

And knowing them, they’d surely be smiling – just from that alone.

✧ ✧ ✧

It didn’t take long until Serenis took into the air with Raizel, Aldrid in tow. Although she’d initially assumed that it’d take some time to sort through all the gifts that were being offered, most of them were politely declined by Aldrid – and Iris later joined the scene to shove most of them into her portal. God knows where that led to…figuratively.

And by the end of the day, the three had flown quite some distance before deciding to rest at a small forest clearing across the continental border. Although Raizel couldn’t fly all the way to Astellion’s northern edge in one flight due to her limitations on mana, they’d at least come halfway.

‘Even for a grown dragon, it couldn’t have been easy to keep a spell in place all day while flying. Especially if they’re not versed with using magic…’

Serenis glanced over to the steel dragon who was lying flat on the grass of the forest floor, panting for breath. When their eyes locked, she beamed a proud smile at the youngling.

“Rest, Raizel. You must be tired.”

“…Sorry…”

“Hm? What was that?”

“…Sorry. I’m slowing you down, aren’t I.”

Serenis barely managed to press down an urge to laugh. Not in her wildest dreams had she imagined that she’d hear an apology coming out of Raizel’s mouth.

“It’s alright, child. We’re going plenty fast enough.”

“…”

Truth be told, this was the first time Raizel had ever used a spell for this long; she’d temporarily fixed herself or used her affinity to create temporary tools to wield, but even those had only lasted for a few hours at best, not an entire day. And before the dragonlord’s intervention, no one had been able to teach the steel dragon how to efficiently manage her mana. Taking such points into consideration, the youngling’s performance was nothing short of stellar.

After another minute of catching her breath, Raizel spoke up once more.

“Why’re you trying to kill the deities anyway?”

“…I don’t have a particular inclination to kill the deities, child. I’m only aiming to eliminate their divinities.”

“Divinities, then. Why’re you trying to get rid of them in the first place?”

“I suppose I’ve never told you, have I? It’s to liberate the star from divine influence.”

“…Liberate, huh.”

Given how free-spirited she tended to be, Raizel could understand her lord’s intent to a degree. After all, she was the least among the kin to willingly accept oppression.

But even then, Serenis’ actions did not wholly make sense to the youngling.

“Is that really all there is?”

“Why do you ask? Does it seem odd to you?”

“I don’t know…you don’t really look like someone who wants to ‘liberate’ things.”

Serenis’ lips curved into an amused grin at the youngling’s remark.

“Is that so? What do you suppose moves me then, child?”

“…”

It wasn’t an easy question to answer.

Even when her lord smiled, it’d always seemed strangely strained; even their usual indifference sometimes seemed to be forced. The emotion being evoked by Serenis’ demeanor wasn’t something Raizel could easily label – it wasn’t a feeling she was used to.

‘Wait…that’s not true, is it?’

Raizel had felt something similar – quite recently, in fact. Pretending a forced kindness to turn away from direct confrontation, unable to hide the discomfort welling up within. If she remembered correctly, it was…

“…Guilt?”

Upon hearing Raizel’s answer, the dragonlord widened her eyes as if she hadn’t expected the answer from the youngling before her.

And when Serenis failed to return a verbal answer, Raizel spoke up once more.

“Wait, is that actually right? Did you do something wrong?”

“…I did.”

Too much.

She’d wronged too many to count, and they’ve all paid the price in her stead. Instead of suffering the most miserable death among her kin, she was well and alive – almost as if her children had paid the price in her stead.

And while Aldrid drooped her gaze at the evident misery in her lord’s eyes, Raizel remained indifferent. She instead raised her voice even more.

“Then what’re you gonna do when you’re done with this whole liberation-thing?”

“…Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering if there’s something you actually want to do. For yourself, I mean.”

“For myself?...”

If she could, Serenis would go back in time. A thousand years – more, even – if only to fix all the mistakes she’d made.

She missed her children. She missed the other elders. She even missed the other demonlords that would break into petty fights every so often – none of which she’d ever see again.

‘Is there anything I truly wish to do?’

Nothing really came to mind.

The only thought that briefly brushed past wasn’t something she could speak out loud.