DRAGONA

Aric

I left the dining hall as soon as I could without making it look like an escape. The corridors were too bright, too polished, like they were reflecting back every thought I was trying not to have.

Two months.

Two months to become the person everyone expected me to be.

I didn't go to my suite right away. I walked the long way around, down the south wing where the portraits of old Fergusons lined the walls, all staring down with expressions that said you should be better than this.

When I finally keyed in the door to my rooms, Finn and Kellen were already sprawled on the low couch, their shoes kicked off, a half-finished bag of chips between them.

Kellen raised his brows. "Took you long enough."

"I was busy," I muttered, but it came out too tired to sound annoyed.

Finn propped his feet on the marble coffee table. "Family dinner?"

"You could say that." I sank into the armchair opposite them, dragging a hand over my face. "My aunt thinks Aurelia is going to win the Trials in her sleep. Meanwhile, I'm still…."

"Flame-retardant," Kellen said, grinning.

"Ha. Hilarious."

It was easier to pretend it didn't bother me. Easier to roll my eyes and act like I wasn't thinking about it every second I was awake.

Finn dug in his jacket and pulled out a battered pack of cigarettes. "So. You gonna try this or not?"

"Seriously?" I stared at it.

He shrugged. "Maybe it'll help. You know, smoke in, fire out."

It was the stupidest idea I'd ever heard. But for a second, I let myself imagine it, what if it really did work? What if I'd breathe out and finally see a spark?

I took the cigarette. "You're both idiots."

"And you love us," Kellen said.

"Debatable."

Finn flicked his lighter open. The little flame danced, bright and alive.

"That's what it's supposed to look like," I muttered, then pressed the filter to my lips before either of them could say something pitying.

The first drag burned my throat, made my eyes water. I coughed, which only made Finn laugh.

"You're so delicate," he said.

"Shut up." But I was smiling, just a little.

I leaned back in the chair, tipping my head against the cushion. The ceiling overhead was painted with old constellations, gold and blue. Sometimes, when I was younger, I'd fall asleep on this couch, staring up at them and pretending I was something important.

Two months.

Maybe it won't happen, I thought. Maybe it never will.

Kellen picked up the remote and flicked on the news feed. The Trials were already in every headline, with clips of older candidates showing off their abilities, flame and shadow and illusions so real they made my skin crawl.

"You gonna watch?" he asked.

I shook my head.

He clicked it off without arguing.

No one ever said it out loud, but I knew what people whispered behind my back. That maybe my blood wasn't pure enough. My father, the king's brother, had been dragon-blooded through and through. But my mother, she hadn't been one of them.

Half-blood.

It sounded worse when I said it in my head. Like it was something rotten.

Finn stretched his arms over his head. "You know, you could just…not care. Let them all choke on their expectations."

"Easy for you to say," I murmured.

"Yeah. But you'd be happier."

Would I?

Kellen looked over, his expression softening in a way I hated. "Hey. You've got time."

I crushed the cigarette into the ashtray, feeling a sour heat behind my ribs.

Two months.

I didn't know what would happen if I reached my seventeenth birthday and still felt nothing but empty.

But tonight, with my friends here and the smoke curling in the air, I could almost pretend it didn't matter.

Almost