Doomsday Elevator

Ethan Quinn's breath crystallized mid-curse as the elevator's thermal systems flatlined. The digital thermometer on his wrist (scavenged from Floor 28's frozen medbay) pulsed crimson:

[AMBIENT: -18°C | WIND CHILL: -34°C | SURVIVAL WINDOW: 47 MINUTES]

Ripley the cyber-raptor slammed her thruster-enhanced tail against the walls, sparks flying from overloaded heating implants. The creature's new subzero adaptation package—installed during an unsupervised moment with Floor 16's rogue nanobots—emitted a high-pitched whine like a dying starship.

"Easy girl," Ethan muttered, tossing a uranium fuel rod into her dorsal intake port. The raptor's reactor core flared blue, bathing the elevator in Chernobyl-chic lighting. "We're running a spa, not a supernova."

Thermal Warfare Protocol

Step 1: Activate electromagnetic stove (85% efficiency)

Step 2: Layer parkas (3x frostbitten previous owners)

Step 3: Deploy "Hot Pocket" tactic - hugging radioactive raptor

The chatroom scroll provided grim entertainment:

[User_44]: TRADING KIDNEY FOR HAND WARMER

[User_667]: PSA: Frostbitten toes make terrible jerky (trust me)

[System_Alert]: Survivor count: 9,431 → 9,392

Ripley's augmented claws scratched equations into frozen steel walls—either higher mathematics or a demand for more plutonium snacks.

The Great Microwave Heist

When the temperature hit -29°C, Ethan made his move. The spatial backpack disgorged its prize: a microwave oven jury-rigged with:

1x Fusion core (87% stability)

3m Superconducting wire (stolen from Floor 7's quantum lab)

2L Suspicious coolant labeled DO NOT INGEST

"Jíjí rú lǜ lìng†!" He slammed the door shut as the machine achieved critical mass.

The resulting heat wave:

Melted Ripley's ice-encrusted scales

Vaporized Ethan's eyebrows

Activated the elevator's long-dormant fire suppression system

Aftermath & Acquisitions

The blackboard's new message oozed through frost:

WARMTH IS TEMPORARY. SUFFERING IS ETERNAL.

Ethan stared at his reflection in Ripley's chrome-plated talons—a mad scientist crossed with post-apocalyptic Santa. The raptor belched a plasma flame that melted their frozen dinner (identified as "Meat Product" by Floor 13's questionable labeling AI).

"Merry fucking winter solstice."