Dissonant

My feet pounded against the dirt and the dust of the village paths as I ran for the mountain pass, pushing my exhausted body as far as it could go. Each step sent jolts of pain through my legs, my muscles burning and crying out in agony. 

The sweetness of the porridge still lingered on my tongue, a final reminder of what I was leaving behind, of who I was leaving behind. I’d barely had a chance to rest while I was hiding in Colette’s house, and my whole body ached with exhaustion. The scratches and bruises I’d sustained in my battle with the monster stung as my clothes rubbed against them.

But still, the spark in my core continued to burn. And this time, I wouldn’t let it go out.

My father’s voice rang out behind me, but it was muted, barely audible over the pounding in my head and my ragged breathing. Even as he called out for me to wait, I wasn’t going to stop. I couldn’t stop. Not after everything that had happened.

I’d always wanted to explore the world outside the village. To go wandering from place to place with Alvin… my brother. And maybe with Karla, too. When the two of them were around, I felt like I could take on the world. Alvin’s support, and Karla’s training… it just felt so freeing.

But at the time, I never thought things would end up like this.

The two of them were gone, long gone by now. Alvin couldn’t defend me from everyone anymore, and Karla couldn’t teach me anything new. It wasn’t even safe for me to stay with Colette, since… there wasn’t much she could do against the rest of the village. I really was… all on my own.

All alone, having to fend for myself. The pounding of my heart echoed in my ears as I ran, and my cheeks were wet with tears.

In the end, though, it was still my choice to make. Leave, or spend the rest of my life denying who I was. And that wasn’t even really an option. Even if I did stay, and pretend I was normal, that I was… one of the guys… I would eventually break. I knew that in the end, no matter what, I would try to be myself again. Which meant that, no matter how it went… someday, everyone would drive me out… for being a Dissonant. For being me. 

No, I would leave on my own terms.

Just a little bit further, and I’d make it to the mountain pass. I’d make it out of the village, out of the place that had been my home for… all of my life. Away from my father, away from Colette, away from… everything I’d ever known.

I pushed myself forward — further, faster, between the two cliffs that flanked the mountain pass, the pass that, for my whole life, had been the road to freedom. That’s what I’d have, soon… freedom. I’d be out from under my father, and not just because I was hiding from him. I’d be free to live the life that I wanted to live. I’d be free from all the worrying I’d been doing… that fear of being seen, of being judged, of being forced into things I didn’t want.

My lungs burned, and my legs ached, but… each step tempered that fire inside me. 

My freedom was worth it.

Nothing could stop me from escaping. Not my exhaustion, not my father, not—

I skidded to an abrupt stop as something lumbered out in front of me, its blackened, dripping form blocking the path ahead.

The monster.

It wasn’t as threatening to me as it once was, but… I didn’t know if I had the energy to fight it again. To drive it completely out from the mountain pass so that I could get to the forest beyond… 

But then again… A small trail of smoke still rose from a spot I’d hit with fire, the viscous liquid that coated its body still melted around it, exposing a patch of matted brown fur. Fire clearly was effective against the beast, so maybe I would have enough energy. Maybe.

The beast raised its head, its torso expanding just a little bit, and then… it let out an ear-splitting roar, the loudest I’d ever heard from it… one that echoed around the mountain pass, vibrating the earth and sending gravel tumbling down either cliff face.

My knees gave out for a moment and I crumpled to the ground, pressing my ears flat with my hands to block out the howl as best I could. It sounded so… angry. Maybe that should have been expected, though… it had been driven out of its home, too, hadn’t it? 

The monster scraped the ground with one of its front legs, lowering its featureless head to stare at me with a gaze that bored into my soul.

It wanted a fight, didn’t it? A rematch. But… was I really in any shape to battle with this monster? Then again, was the monster in any shape to battle with me? Maybe it was as hurt as I was exhausted.

I chanced a look behind me, back towards the village. My father stood a short distance away, the rest of the crowd that had followed me just a little behind him.

“Don’t fight it!” my father called. “Get back here! Let it be!”

No. I couldn’t retreat back into the village. It was far, far too late for that. I didn’t have any choice but to fight the monster, and drive it off further into the forest… or kill it for good.

I stood back upright, stoking the spark in my core until it burst into flame. As the heat rose, I drew one of my swords… my mother’s old blades. It felt light in my hand, and as I stared down the monster, I wove the blade in front of me, adjusting my grip until it was comfortable.

The sharp edge of the blade glittered in the sunlight that streamed in from behind.

The monster hunched down, the black liquid on its body pooling around its legs as it scraped the dirt once more. I took one last deep breath, preparing myself for the ensuing battle. And then, it charged.

It quickly became clear to me that in a physical fight, with my current weapons, I was at a severe disadvantage against the monster. I didn’t have the strength to outright block the monster like my father could, so at the last moment I stepped to the side, dodging its furious charge. Simultaneously, I built the heat inside my core, then pushed it into my free hand until it formed a fireball that I quickly threw at the beast, striking its exposed side.

The fireball blasted away a chunk of the black liquid, sending it spraying all over the front of my clothes.

As the monster was knocked back by the impact of the fireball, it kicked its feet up onto the side of the mountain pass, changing direction towards me faster than I could anticipate. Still running with three of its legs, it raised the fourth for a strike. I ducked backwards a few steps, just barely managing to dodge the swing, but I dodged it at the cost of my balance, and promptly fell to the ground, dazed.

Chunks of the black liquid were still melting away from where I’d hit the monster with the fireball, dripping onto the ground in large drops that began to form a puddle. The distorted beast raised its head, letting out another howl, though this time not as strong as the last one.

Through the monster’s legs, I saw that my father was holding his sword out, trying to get to me with a few of the other guys holding him back.

That was probably a good thing… if he wasn’t held off, when the monster was driven off, or killed, I was nervous he’d drag me home again anyway, making this entire fight pointless.

No, I needed to fight this beast alone, and then make my escape.

As I got to my feet again, a thought crossed my mind. The forest behind me… It was very dense, nothing like the forest around the village. When Alvin and I were young, we were often told not to wander into it, especially not without adult supervision — it was just too easy to get lost in there. I’d heard horror stories of travellers leaving the beaten path, the one that carriages took, and never finding their way back. 

But… there was an upside to trees packed so densely they blocked out the light from the sun. If I ran, right here, right now, I would be able to escape. If I ran through the trees, the monster wouldn’t be able to keep up — its body was far too big. 

If I ran, I’d finally be able to get away from everything… away from the village, away from my father…

The loud, thundering gallop of the monster brought me out of my thoughts and back to the present. In the brief amount of time that I’d been distracted, the black beast charged at me, and… I wasn’t ready to fight back. I hastily pushed more of the heat into my hands, sending a fireball directly towards the beast’s head.

Though the fireball blasted away more chunks of the viscous liquid, the monster barely even flinched. It kept charging towards me. I had to get out of the way.

Luckily, having a tail gave me more manoeuvrability, manoeuvrability that I did not take for granted. Swinging my tail towards the monster to help push myself away, I dug my feet into the ground and leapt for safety. Unfortunately… extra manoeuvrability did not save me, and I couldn’t quite dodge its attack. 

As it swung its front leg, in the same pattern as before, it clipped my arm. 

Jolts of pain shot through the side of my body as I was sent spinning back from the impact. Barely managing to stay on my feet, and my sword nearly knocked out of my hands, I clutched my upper arm where I’d been hit with a palm still warm from the flames.

As the initial shock of the strike wore off, the scrapes and bruises I’d accumulated earlier began to sting once more. I… really wasn’t in a good shape to fight, was I? Half of my body was numb, half was burning with exhaustion, and… all the injuries I’d collected were making the exhaustion hurt so much more, my legs starting to wobble underneath me.

I couldn’t heal myself like Alvin was able to, or… like my father. When we’d talked in Colette’s house just minutes before, barely any traces of the fight with the monster had been left on him. Alvin must’ve gotten his healing ability from his father, and I, on the other hand… inherited my Dissonant form from my mother. I wouldn’t trade what I had for anything, but… it definitely would be nice to be able to heal some of this before it got me hurt even worse.

Gritting my teeth, I pushed the pain aside as best I could, trying to stoke the fire inside me again. The monster was rearing up for another charge, and… I had to be ready.

The black beast charged once more.

Bracing my legs, I squared my stance, ready to throw another fireball at the monster. How many of these fireballs did I have left in me? In my previous fight, they took so much energy out of me that I transformed back, and I hadn’t had much of a chance to rest. I still felt… empty.

But regardless, I had to. There was nothing else I could do… nothing else I had done could deal any meaningful damage to it. So, one more time, I pushed heat into my palms, aiming to throw yet another fireball.

Only this time, what materialised in my hands was barely more than a flicker.

As pain from the wounds I’d sustained assaulted my body, the fire inside me had died down to barely more than a spark. I… couldn’t throw any more fire at the monster. I didn’t have any more fire left. I hurriedly dodged to the side, this time just barely avoiding it, and as the monster rushed past, I struck out with my blade.

It sunk into the beast’s side, carving a long, deep gash through the liquid surrounding the monster’s body. The force of the monster’s gallop pushing against my blade sent me stumbling back, and I struggled to keep my footing.

The monster quickly slid to a halt, its featureless head angling awkwardly to stare at me. As it stared, the liquid of its body slowly dripped down, filling in the wound that I’d carved.

There really was… nothing I could do, was there?

Though the spark in my core was still lit, any attempt at throwing a fireball just resulted in a small puff of flame appearing at the end of my fingers. And my daggers weren’t long enough to carve through the liquid armour surrounding the monster’s body.

How was I supposed to kill it? Or at the very least, drive it off?

Was there anything I could do?

The monster let out another howl, most of the liquid pooling around its legs once more as it prepared for another charge. I tensed my sore, aching limbs, getting ready to dodge out of the way again. If I had better weapons, if I just had another way to make fire… 

The black beast was predictable. It always attacked in the same way. This must’ve been why Karla was so nonchalant about it, when I asked her how I should be killing a monster.

I just… wasn’t skilled enough.

The beast galloped forward once more, charging right towards me. Just like all the times before, I waited, ready to jump out of the way when it was too late for it to change course, but then…

As I tried to move, a jolt of pain shot all through my side, the side that had been struck by the monster just moments ago. My foot slipped, my shoes losing traction on the ground, and I began to fall.

“No!” my father yelled, in the distance.

That fall seemed to last… so long. The monster’s leg was flying towards me, and I knew it would hit me. There was no avoiding it.

With how hard it had hit my shoulder, would I… would I even be able to stand up again after a blow like this?

And then the monster’s leg collided with my stomach, it hit me with a dull thump and completely knocked the wind out of me. I was sent flying backwards towards the cliff face, and an instant later, I slammed into it as well with a loud smack.

For a moment, there was nothing.

Then I opened my eyes, my entire body screaming in pain as I took a laboured breath. I’d… I’d passed out for a moment, and my face was against the dirt.

My blade had been knocked out of my hand, it was lying on the ground nearby. But… I couldn’t… I could barely move. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and not the warm kind. And… the monster was still there. Parts of it were still smoking, tufts of that matted brown fur still revealed, but… it wasn’t enough.

I’d lost.

I couldn’t… do anything. There was no way I could defend myself from the monster anymore. I was…

Was I really going to die? I was going to die here, so close to freedom? I was going to die now, just after finding myself? I would be unable to escape from the village… I’d have spent my whole life in a place that kept me trapped as someone I wasn’t meant to be…

Was this really how it was going to end?

Would I never be able to live as a Dissonant?

As me?

The monster lumbered towards me, the ground shaking with each step it took. That couldn’t be it, could it? My panicked, addled brain worked to find some kind of solution to this. But all I kept coming back to was… I needed fire. I needed fire, or something like it. I needed something to drive back the monster. That was… the only way I could survive. 

Pushing myself to my hands and knees, then clutching my stomach, I looked up at the monster looming towards me, then back down at my hands. They were covered in the sticky black monster liquid, the liquid that was still dripping from my shirt where I’d been struck.

Monster liquid…

That was… that was it.

There was one other way to make fire.

The liquid itself. The researcher I’d seen in my dreams had used the black liquid to paint a symbol on a piece of paper, which set it on fire. And I’d done the same with the liquid in my flask.

I wasn’t sure if the liquid armour that coated the monsters was really the same as the black liquid inside my flask, but… I had no other options. If this didn’t work, I… wasn’t going to make it out of this alive. The monster kept getting closer with each and every step, and my time was running out.

I had to do this.

Groaning in pain, I pushed myself around, leaving inky handprints on the ground and the wall. Then… I began to draw on the rock face behind me.

How did the symbol look again? Could I even remember? My hand shook as I hurriedly smeared a large spiral pattern onto the rock wall, the liquid dripping down the longer it sat there. I knew that spiral pattern was part of it, but the rest… Wiping my hand on my shirt again to get more of the monster liquid on it, I then curled the spiral out further, hastily adding the two triangles above the symbol.

The monster’s footsteps echoed in my ears as I continued to paint. Wait! I remembered how it was finished! I was so close… Just a little bit longer… 

As I smeared the last line, the one connecting the spiral’s end to its centre, the whole symbol very suddenly came aglow.

That was much, much faster than the ink in my flask… Oh no.

I fell back down, getting out of the way of the symbol as best I could. The monster was right in front of me now, its long neck held high and head bent down at an unnatural angle to stare at me. The symbol was going to work, right? If the symbol didn’t do anything… The monster slowly raised a front foot, poised and ready to bring it down onto me— 

With a deafening boom, a massive burst of searingly hot flame shot out of the rock face above me, far bigger than any fireball I could’ve made. It collided with the monster’s neck, blasting away huge chunks of the liquid armour and sending flaming puddles spraying all around the rock face.

The monster howled in pain, and within moments, the fire began to spread all across its body, the liquid glowing with the same shine that the symbol had. Was it… reacting with the liquid? A plume of dark smoke began to billow out of the monster’s body as the flames accelerated, burning the liquid away. And in the spot on the monster’s neck where the initial burst of fire had hit, the boiling liquid armour struggled to fill in the gap, a gap that revealed brown tufts of fur not unlike a deer’s.

This… this was my chance.

Reaching out for my fallen dagger, my muscles groaning in protest, I pulled it towards me. The blade scraped against the ground as I did, my fingers barely able to keep a grip, before I finally had it close enough to yank into my hand. 

I pushed myself into a sitting position, the flaming monster thrashing around above me. My stomach lurched, but I… had to finish this.

I took a deep breath, holding the blade so tightly in my trembling hands that my knuckles turned white. Then, with the very last of my strength, I launched to my feet and buried the blade deep into the beast’s awkwardly-angled neck. 

It tried to pull away, it tried to escape, but I held on tight, staggering around underneath the monster as I drove the blade further and further in. It let out another, gurgling howl, flailing its legs towards me as if trying to drive me off. One of them hit me and I cried out in pain, but still I didn’t yield. Tears streaming down my cheeks, and screaming in the effort, I carved my dagger downwards, lengthening the wound further before I was finally dislodged by the monster’s thrashing movements.

I crumpled back against the wall, completely unable to move. But… maybe I didn’t need to. I watched as the monster wobbled backwards, its legs shaking more and more. Dark red blood dripped from the open wound on its neck, the slowly-smouldering liquid armour still struggling to fill the space that had been carved away.

As the beast’s howl grew weaker, entire sections of the liquid armour dropped away from its body, splashing onto the ground underneath. Had I… finally done it? Was the monster dead? It was still thrashing, but… less and less. And every second, more of the slowly-burning black liquid fell away, revealing patches of brown deer fur. 

The monster’s legs continued to shake until finally, it crumpled under its own weight. The pained, mournful howl that had been ringing out through the mountain pass continued to fade, until the monster drew one last breath, and then finally stopped moving. The rest of the liquid armour melted away onto the ground, until all that was left was the tattered and broken corpse of a deer.

I looked down at my bloodied sword, still held in my trembling hands.

It was… over. The monster was dead. I looked back towards the village, and found my father standing a short distance away, holding his sword limply at his side. Had he been coming to help? His face shifted as he slipped his sword back into its scabbard, but I couldn’t quite make out his expression. Why was my vision so… blurry?

“I’m so sorry…” my father said, slowly stepping towards me. “You shouldn’t have had to do any of that.”

No… I was… I tried to back away from him, pushing against the ground with trembling arms. I was meant to be free, I’d… fought to escape from the village, but… no matter how much I tried, my arms had no strength, and my legs refused to budge.

A jolt of pain shot through my head, and I crumpled down to the ground. The rustling of the trees behind me began to fade, replaced by a pounding in my skull that grew ever louder. I’d worked so hard for my… for my freedom, but… I weakly lifted my head, watching helplessly as my father walked closer and closer.

The bright sun over his shoulders began to fade as the edges of my vision grew dark. A numbing feeling gradually spread throughout my body, washing over the aches and pains and wounds I’d sustained in my fight with the monster.

I couldn’t… my instincts shouted for me to run, to flee into the forest, but I couldn’t move. As my father knelt down beside me, the last of my strength faded, and I closed my eyes. The last thing I heard, before the sounds of the forest faded into nothingness, was a gentle voice, accompanied by the feeling of being lifted off the ground.

“It’ll be okay. I promise you… Triss.”