Dissonant

“Alright, we got it!”

Huh? Wh-where was I?

“‘Ey, watch it! Don’t get too close!” An unfamiliar, gruff voice called out. “Ya don’t want to get splashed with that stuff, it does weird things to ya!”

It was really bright… where… Why was I upside down?!

As my vision slowly began to clear, I was greeted by the familiar sight of the forest, only… everything had gone topsy-turvy. Why was I hanging there?

Looking down, or… up, rather, I saw what had happened. A rope was tied around one of my legs, and I dangled from a low tree branch, my body slowly swinging back and forth.

“Finally, we caught one o’ these things,” another voice said, along with a long sigh.

The man who the voice belonged to slowly stepped forward, shaking his head as he glared down at me. What did I do? Why did they want to… capture me? More guys followed behind him, all clad in varying kinds of armour and carrying a myriad of different weapons, from spears to swords to even a mace.

One of them slowly approached me, drawing his longsword out of its scabbard and gripping it with both hands. His expression was filled with contempt as he poked me with the tip of it, and I felt myself try to wriggle out of the way.

His eyes narrowed further as I moved, and he lifted his sword above his body, swinging it down at me with a loud, angry yell, “Oi, take this, ya beast!”

The sword collided with my torso, sending me swinging back and forth as a low, guttural wail bubbled up from inside me. Why… What did I do to deserve this? 

“Just forget it,” one of the other men said. “There’s not much you’ll be able to do to one of these things on your own.”

“Yeah, and besides, Professor Holed-up down in his cave says we need to bring this one to him intact,” another one dryly added.

“It’s Professor Holland. That’s his name.”

“Whatever.”

“Hey, not so close!” the man with the longsword barked, letting go of it with one hand to block another man from approaching me. “I said ya don’t wanna get splashed in the goop these monsters make.”

M-monster? I was… a monster? Why… but I was… 

“Why? What does it do?” the other man asked, fingering the handle of the short sword in his belt.

“It gives ya nightmares, if you get hit. A buncha’ guys I knew went delusional after gettin’ splashed in it. Said they were having visions, and… you don’t wanna know the kinda stuff I heard from ‘em.”

“If you say so.”

A few of the men dropped back from the group, lifting something out of a nearby cart. How long had that been there? I… didn’t even notice it… What were they bringing back?

“We gotta get this in one shot, otherwise it’ll get loose!”

A… net? A few of the men grabbed the corners, spreading out a thick, mesh netting underneath me as I dangled.

“Be careful on those edges! You don’t wanna get kicked by this thing!”

Who were these guys? I didn’t recognise them at all. Were they mercenaries? What did they want with me? 

“Alright, lift those corners!”

...What were they going to do to me?

“Everyone ready?”

Just as the guttural wail from before, from inside me sang out a long, pitiful howl. I felt myself thrash around, kicking my black limbs at everyone and everything that surrounded me, but to no avail. The men lifted up the corners of the net they had brought, ready to capture me. 

The man with the longsword approached, reaching out and poking at the rope with the tip of it. He sawed back and forth, and the rope that I dangled from slowly began to fray, disintegrating further as my body swung back and forth.

And then I fell.

*     *     *     *     *

My eyes snapped open as I awoke to a cacophony of sights, sounds, and smells. My ears were filled with the chattering and chirping of nearby birds, who must have been having an argument with how loud their yelling back and forth was. The stomping of my father’s outdoor boots broke up the mess of noise filtering in through my window along with the bright sunlight, as the familiar smell of meat began to float up through my door. 

I curled up under my bed covers, pressing my ears with my hands. It was all too much… the nightmare was still fresh in my mind, the sight of those angry faces, all glaring at me as if I was a monster… it felt so real, not anything like a dream I’d ever had before. Even though I was covered in sweat, I still shivered, trying to hide from the deafening noise and the bright light from the window. 

The tingling from yesterday had returned, and it pulsed around my body as I lay in my bed. That substance, the drip that had fallen on my neck… and what had splashed off the monster we had found… it had to have done something to me, hadn’t it? For me to be feeling like this… 

I poked my head out from under the covers, glaring at the flask of liquid that I had taken from the crypt. In the shadow of the outside walls, it just seemed like ordinary ink. It didn’t sparkle, or shine, and it didn’t have any stars inside it, like I had seen yesterday. 

As the tingling sensation swirling through me grew stronger and stronger, it… suddenly settled, and the world seemed to flash for a moment, before all of the noises disappeared. Gone were the loud birds, and instead all I could hear were the distant chirps and trills that I was so used to. Gone was the loud stomping of my dad, doing whatever he was doing downstairs. And gone was the blinding light of the sun, shining through my open window. 

“You headin’ out, Alvin?” Dad’s voice dully echoed through the flooring. Wait… how long had I slept in?

“Yep,” Alvin replied, his own voice shortly followed by the familiar creak of the front door. “I gotta do my trainin’.”

“How’s about you take Matty out with ya? ‘Bout time that boy learned to fight… he’s spent enough time runnin’ away from me.”

I internally groaned, listening to him talk. Maybe, if his idea of training didn’t involve… ending up as big, and as beefy as either of them were. It was always the strength training with those two, and they ended up huge as a result.

“Yeah, yeah.” At least Alvin seemed somewhat non-committal to that idea. He knew I didn’t like the strength training, and… he said he knew a way to fight that didn’t involve it. Maybe if I asked him…

Once the sound of the front door being slammed shut had reverberated through the house — both of them always seemed way too rough with everything they touched — I climbed out of bed, blearily walking over to the open window.

Everyone in the village was already out and about as the sun shone down at them from high in the sky. Whether they were working in the fields near their homes, or training in the village centre, the hustle and bustle of the village was as active as it ever got.

More people than usual seemed to have joined the day’s training session — had the news of the monster sighting already spread around the village? A few of them were sparring, using wooden swords, spears, and shields. Others were lifting weights made out of hardwood trees, cut down and polished using oil from the vegetables grown in the village.  A small group of the younger guys passed by the rest, in their jog around the village. 

I let out a small groan, backing away from my window. This scene was what my dad wanted me to aspire to, manly men all working out together, getting stronger together, sparring against each other… his lectures would go on and on. 

But at the same time… Alvin and I had seen a monster when we explored the crypt. No one in the village had any experience fighting a monster, at least that I knew of — there had never been any record of one showing up. Grabbing the wash rag off the back of my chair, I wandered downstairs to the bathroom, my mind still stuck on what had happened last night.

I’d heard stories of monsters, sure. Everyone had. We were all told stories of them, the things hunting people down and ravaging towns, and… most of the kids around my age had left the village because they wanted to hunt them. Everyone here seemed so hot-blooded… 

Closing the bathroom door, I flicked the lock shut, quickly removing my nightclothes and placing them on a shelf in the corner. We were at least lucky enough to have clean water, here in the village… Tying my hair up with a small string, I dipped a bucket into the nearby reservoir, before splashing it over my body. 

If… if the black beast that Alvin and I saw ended up attacking the village, would I need to help fight it off? Alvin’s sword didn’t do anything to it, other than maybe dent it a little. It was only that… ball of fire… thing that I made, and even still, the only reason we’d escaped was because a shelf fell onto it. And how did I even make that fireball?

As I wiped myself down with the washcloth, I caught a glimpse of my scrawny body in the mirror. Even if I had somehow managed to avoid whatever family trait that made Dad and Alvin grow so much body hair — Alvin would often spend ages trimming his chest hair, but my dad had so much body hair he’d earned the nickname “The Village Bear” from when he’d chop down trees without a shirt on. 

Even though I didn’t have to worry about that, it still felt… wrong somehow, seeing myself in the mirror, and I couldn’t figure out why. Alvin said that I looked like a twig, and… if I’m being honest, he was right. I wasn’t anywhere near as tall as him — or as broad, but for that I was very thankful. Maybe I’d feel better if I looked like that girl I saw in the mirror, down in the crypt…

Nah, there was no way.

*     *     *     *     *

Once I had gotten dressed again and hung up my washcloth outside, I ventured into the kitchen, looking for something to satisfy the incessant rumbling of my stomach. We always seemed to have a supply of jerky — well, Dad and Alvin were the best hunters in the village. I guess that explained why Dad kept pushing for me to do the same. 

I hadn’t heard him leave while I was in the bathroom. It was strange… if I was being honest, I was completely expecting him to be out there with everyone else, training to fight the monster. 

Instead, I found him in a chair off to the side of the kitchen, resting his chin in his hand as he leaned on a nearby windowsill, watching everyone train.

“So how was it?” he asked, not bothering to turn around and look at me. “Seeing a monster for the first time.” 

“It was…” I hesitated. He said he’d leave my training up to Alvin, so I silently hoped that he wouldn’t start another of his lectures about strength. 

“Scary, right?” He glanced at me, a strangely thoughtful look on his face. “Nothin’ can prepare you for just how big they are.”

I nodded, chewing at one of the pieces of jerky I had grabbed. The monster we had met had to have been twice Alvin’s size, if not bigger. 

“And the screams they make, it feels like they shake you right to your core. It's hard to even run away, once you see one of ‘em.” He gestured for me to walk over to him, next to the window.

Hesitantly, I stepped closer, trying to stay out of reach from where he sat. I was too worried that this... mood would change and he’d grab me like he used to.

“Look at these guys,” he said, pointing at the group that were lifting weights in the middle of the village. “They're strong, they can hunt, but most of ‘em… if they see anythin’ bigger than a bear, they'll piss themselves.” 

I choked on the jerky I was chewing, coughing and spluttering as I ran to grab one of the pouches of water sitting on the bench. 

“They all grew up here,” he continued, once I had stopped coughing. “None of ‘em have ever met anythin’ that fights back. Hell, barely any of ‘em have ever hunted anythin’ bigger than a rabbit.”

A bit hesitant, I asked, “Will they… be able to handle the monster?”

“Will they be able to… nah, there's no way any of ‘em could.” My dad laughed, sounding almost… defeated? “Besides, you don’t even kill these things. Best that anyone here’d be able to do is drive it off.” 

My mind jumped back to when Alvin and I were exploring the crypt. If I could learn to make that fireball… would I be able to drive the monster away? Was anyone else capable of something like that? 

“In all my time as a mercenary, I’ve only ever seen two o’ those things die. One got crushed by a giant boulder, the other… some o’ the guys I worked with were crazy, capable of stuff you'd never believe.” 

Dad reached out, poking my upper arm with his finger. I winced slightly.

“I don’t know how you managed to fend that thing off, but I’m glad you did.” He lifted himself out of his chair, leaning forward as he stretched. “If I'm bein’ honest… that gives you two a better shot at drivin’ that monster away from the village. I don’t trust any o’ these guys to actually keep their cool when it shows up.”

He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, his expression furrowing for a moment. Was he… watching for my reaction? 

“I-I guess…” I mumbled, staring out of the window. “Though I still can’t fight.” 

“I keep sayin’, ya’ gotta do some strength trainin’!” Dad exclaimed, pacing around the kitchen in the way he always did during his lectures. “Unless ya got some other idea of how to deal with that thing, there’s no way yer’ killin’ it like that. Ya gotta—” 

He suddenly stopped, taking a deep breath. 

“...no, Alvin said he was gonna take care of your trainin’,” he mumbled, staring at me. “He's got somethin’ in mind, I'm sure.” 

That was a change. Why did he seem so different? “Um…”

“I’m gonna go pull out my old broadsword.” Dad said, sounding much more subdued than usual. “Between the three of us, we should be able to fend it off.” 

“O-okay.” 

He quickly walked off, leaving me to chew on the rest of my jerky. 

*     *     *     *     *

“That was what he said, was it?” 

“Yeah.” I paused from pulling out weeds to glance up at Colette. “Something was definitely different about him, but I have no clue what.” 

“I suppose he feels indebted to us, maybe,” she said, looking over towards my house. “As if he needs to earn his keep.” 

As I passed by in front of her chair, pulling weeds out as I went, she reached out, softly running her fingers along my hair.

“Maybe to him, hunting feels like the best way he can provide for everyone.”

“He doesn’t have to push his ideals onto me, though,” I grumbled, taking my frustration out on the unwanted plants. It seemed like he wanted to work himself to the bone paying back his perceived debts to the village.

As I reached the end of the row I was working through, I fell back onto my butt, looking around at Colette’s flower garden. Though it paled in comparison to the larger fields that provided fruit and vegetables for the whole village, I was still pleased with it.

Colette’s house almost felt like a second home for me, and it had ever since I was young. With my dad’s tendency to be… a little pushy with his training methods, I’d often run away from home, and Colette’s place was where I usually ended up. She’d let me sleep on her couch; sometimes she’d give me a blanket and let me curl up next to her fireplace as she read bedtime stories to me.

In exchange, as she grew older and more frail, I started helping tend to her flower garden — though I’d still help out with the larger fields, too. I just prioritised upkeep of her flower garden over them. 

Eventually, after all this time... This place ended up being where I felt the most comfortable, rather than my home.

Sometimes I actually wished that she was my mother.

“Actually, come to think of it,” I began, jumping upright, “it’s not like I’m even that weak! I’ve helped with the harvests for how long now?”

“Since you were eight, I believe. And you’ve done the heavy lifting for quite a few years by now.”

“Exactly!” I crouched down behind Colette’s chair, starting the process of pulling weeds off the last row of flowers, the row that was up against the front of her house. “I may be a little scrawny, but I’m nowhere near as weak as Dad makes me out to be.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re scrawny, dear.” Her wooden chair creaked ever so slightly as Colette leaned back, looking in my direction. “It’s just that, rather than Elias, you seem to take after Fenne.”

I stopped in my tracks, halfway through pulling up a weed.

“...Like my mother?”

“Yes.” Colette sounded almost wistful as she spoke, turning back to look at the sky. “Fenne was so pretty… she was around your height, too… maybe just a hair shorter. If it wasn’t for you being a boy, I’d have said you were the spitting image of her.”

I looked… like my mother? My cheeks began to heat up ever so slightly, and I was kinda glad that Colette was facing the other way. 

Maybe… if I was a girl like her… like my mother... would I be... happier? Would my father not have tried to force me to train, all of those times? Would my mother… still be here, in the village?

...Was it even okay for me to think about things like this? I was a boy, not a girl — as much as some of the older guys in the village mocked me for looking like one, sometimes. 

Was it… really okay for me to wish for something like that?

“If I’m being honest, I–” 

My hand shot to my throat the moment I started talking. My voice was different again… the same way it was in the crypt. Higher, clearer… and more feminine. What did that drip do to me?

I bounded upright, dashing to Colette’s front door and yanking it open, then rushing inside. I needed a mirror, I needed somewhere I could see myself… My body felt lighter, and the strange tingling I had felt so many times by now had returned. 

And then, as I reached the bathroom, and I looked into that mirror... I realised what had happened.

Someone different stared back at me. A girl with piercing green eyes, fiery red hair, and two large, fluffy red fox ears sticking out of the top of her head.

The same girl I had seen in the mirror, back inside the crypt.