Dial H for Heroics

Jack held Elaine’s hand with a real smile on his face instead of the fake grin he

displayed more often. They had an eye on the Ducklings as they wandered around the

North Gate.

Jack and Matilda had brought the quinjet down in the Hangar, and left it in its cradle

to recharge. The kids had taken a moment to get ready to go. Beatrice’s party had

used the gate to get to the Hole in the Wall to get to the city faster for their double

(triple, if Josie showed up with someone) date.

Jack and Elaine had did the same thing except they had used the hospital as their

landing spot. They led the way in front of the kids out of the Emergency Room exit.

The next thing was finding a traveling show to watch. A few exchanges with some

of the roaming adventurers and Watch gave them a small carnival at the North Gate.

It was waiting on them to spend their money.

Laura transported them to the Gate so they could see the thing for themselves.

Walking along, Jack thought the thing was pretty tame. There were basic pony rides,

plenty of midway games to fleece the unwary, and two, maybe three, food carts. A

tent to one side promised beautiful women. Another tent promised sights to make

your eyes scream.

“Do you want to see the dancing girls, or the fake unicorns?,” asked Jack.

“I think I want to see what Alicia is doing with that axe,” said Elaine. She frowned

at the young girl. “Alicia, be careful.”

“I won’t hit him in the face,” said Alicia.

“Maybe we should intervene,” said Jack.

They walked closer and found the five sisters regarding a barker behind the counter.

He had his hands up in front of him.

“Matilda?,” asked Jack. Even the youngest seemed angry.

“He’s cheating, Milord,” said Matilda. “None of the targets will fall over.”

“Are you these hellions’ father?,” asked the barker. He seemed to gain confidence

with an adult on the scene to corral some murderous girls from splitting his scalp.

Jack laughed until he started coughing. Finally he pulled himself together with some

hiccupping.

“No, I’m not, thank the Gods,” said Jack. “But I tell you one thing, you don’t want

to meet their big sister. She’s a four out of five on the hurricane classification system.

The girls say your game is rigged. Is it?”

“No,” said the barker.

The axe in Alicia’s hand appeared in a target a few feet in front of her. The target did

not go down like it was supposed to do. Jack raised his eyebrows at the haft still

quivering from the impact.

“Why didn’t it fall over?,” asked Jack.

“She didn’t throw it hard enough,” said the barker. He started looking around for the

show security to throw this strange man and his strange kids off the improvised

midway before they did something rash.

“Can I have a turn?,” asked Elaine. Laura passed her an axe. She hurled the axe. A

piece of wind slammed it on target, splitting the wood front to back.

Jack’s eyebrows went up.

“That was good, honey,” he said. He held out a hand. “Let me have one of those,

Laura. Let’s see what I can do.”

Laura held out the axe. A giant hand made of light green muscle grabbed the handle.

The axe went through the target. Then it went through the stand’s wall. Then it

stopped in the brick wall of a building beyond that.

Jack let the persona go as he inspected the still standing bottom half of the target. He

frowned at the barker.

“So you’re cheating, right?,” asked Jack. “Are you going to keep lying?”

“Sometimes the rods don’t fold down like they should,” said the barker. “That’s not

cheating.”

“I guess that is a reasonable explanation,” said Jack. “Kids, take whatever prizes you

want and walk down to the big tents. Elaine, do you want anything?”

“No,” said Elaine. She frowned at the barker. “I think you are about to have a serious

problem.”

“You can’t just take my prizes,” said the barker.

“We’re taking what you owe us for cheating,” said Angelica.

“If I were you,” said Jack, leaning on the counter of the booth. “I would take

whatever money I had made and run.”

“What are you going to do?,” said the barker. He paused as five of his stuffed animals

flew into the grips of the girls and they started walking away.

“I am going to show you what happens to cheaters when they cross my path,” said

Jack. “It’s unlucky for you that the Duke said I shouldn’t use the Enterprise to shoot

at people I don’t like.”

Jack transformed into a liquid mass that fell across the booth.

“This is where I would start running if I were you,” he said from the ground.

The barker grabbed his cash box and fled. He looked back at his booth. It went up in

a geyser of burning stuffed animals, painted wood, and fire. He watched as the pieces

fell down on top of where he had been standing.

Jack put himself back together as he walked down to where Elaine and the kids

watched the fire on the ground. People rushed to put it out so there wouldn’t be any

problems for the neighborhood.

“So this is how Josie’s Human Bomb works,” Jack said to himself as he looked at his

ghost hands. “At least we have something that works the same way.”

“You blew up the cheating toss game,” said Melanie, in a flat voice.

“The Missus would approve,” said Angelica. Matilda nodded in agreement.

“He took our money,” said Alicia.

“It’s all right,” said Jack. “I took his for the next night at least. A lot depends on if he

has another stand that he can roll into place.”

“I think he will remember that for a while,” said Laura.

“He will remember, but he will keep his cheating to make more money from people

who won’t notice that his game is rigged,” said Jack. “Who wants to see the fake

unicorns?”

“Are we just going to let that fire burn?,” asked Laura. She gestured at the people

forming a bucket brigade to get things done.

“I can’t do anything until I recharge,” said Jack. “And I can’t recharge until I put

myself all the way back together.”

“How long will that take?,” asked Matilda.

“Don’t know,” said Jack. “Are we going into the fake monster tent, or the dancing girl

tent?”

“I think we should go into the fake monster tent,” said Elaine. “No dancing girls for

someone who would burn up the prizes for little children.”

“I still have you,” said Jack. He tried to put his arm on her shoulder to pull her

forward, but he passed through her.

“You can hug me when you are yourself again,” said Elaine. She smiled.

“It’s only a matter of time,” said Jack.

“Mush,” said Alicia. “The boom was good.”

“Thank you, Number Two,” said Jack. “That was a good thing with the axe.”

“I’m able to pick a spot better since you gave me the thing,” said Alicia.

“So it is valuable,” said Jack. He started gaining color. “I’m glad it worked out for

you.”

“They can’t all be cheating,” said Matilda.

“Yes, they can,” said Laura. “And wrecking one of the stands won’t stop the others

from cheating people out of their money.”

“We should wreck them all,” said Alicia.

“On what grounds?,” asked Jack.

“They cheated together,” said Alicia.

“Can you prove that in front of a judge?,” asked Jack.

“No,” said Alicia.

“We would have to watch them for a long time to determine if they could be cheating,

and then we would have to gather evidence to prove we’re right,” said Matilda. “Do

we have a lot of time to do that?”

“Not really,” said Jack. He became totally real, his watch recharging as they walked.

“And it’s not our job to ruin the illusion for the people trying to enjoy the rest of the

midway.”

“Our abilities don’t lend themselves to proving things,” said Matilda.

“Bah,” said Alicia.

“Don’t be a goat now,” said Jack. He smiled at her. “We’re here to walk around and

look at things. We’re not the Huckster Evaporating Leprechaun Patrol.”

“The Huckster Evaporating Leprechaun Patrol?,” asked Matilda.

“That’s right,” said Jack. He produced his grin for them. “We’re not the HELP.”

The group moaned at that.

They stood outside the monster show tent by this time. Jack checked his watch. He

had a tiny slice of power he could use.

Jack decided that he could use the power of the watch to do one thing to help after the

destruction he caused. He wasn’t going to say he had gone overboard, but he had

done more than he should have.

He called on Storm, turning into a cloud filling the sky overhead. He directed his

mental targeting on the burning stand. He poured his rapidly decreasing power into

a giant drop of rain that extinguished the fire and soaked the closest of the fire

fighters.

He slowly resumed his true form as the rain ran out. He strolled back to where

the woman and girls stood in the shelter of the tent entrance. He grinned at them.

“Better,” said Elaine.

“Shall we, ladies?,” said Jack. “I want to be home in time to hear the lecture Josie is

going to give me for taking you out and about when you are supposed to be working.”

“Elena is going to be mad that she missed this,” said Matilda.

“She had night duty at the village,” said Jack. “Rope told her he had it covered,

but she might not have believed him.”

Elaine paid for the group at the counter set up at the entrance to the tent. They started

the tour silently.

Glass cases stood on pedestals along a winding path through the tent. Jack figured

that it circled around to the front again after people walked through. He put his hands

in his pockets and waited for his watch to recharge while looking at the specimens on

display.

Cards identified the monsters in the cases. Jack wondered about the jackalope and it’s

local name of horned death, but he did recognize two as things he had ran into in the

forests north of the city.

He idly wondered if the monsters were just jazzed up animals instead of the bearer

of excessive mana that he saw in books. He could see alchemy making what he was

seeing as an experiment that had become violent and holding a hungry grudge.

That one bear thing had chased him for a bit before he could use the watch and fly

away.

Being eaten had been more on his mind than how did such things work in this world.

“I have seen a few of these in books,” said Matilda. “I wonder how the traveling show

got the bodies. I had always heard monsters decayed faster than normal animals and

men.”

“I doubt they are going to tell us that, Matty,” said Jack. “That might be a trade

secret.”

“I know,” said Matilda. “Beatrice and Laura will be fighting these if they can pass the

adventurer’s exam. I want to be able to help them.”

“I will be an adventurer too,” said Alicia.

“And I want to be able to help you too,” said Matilda. “Monsters have their magic,

and that makes them harder to kill.”

“Too bad you guys don’t have a monster zoo so you can watch and study the things

to improve defenses,” said Jack.

“They always break out,” said Laura. “There have been attempts to capture monsters

and hold them. When that happens, they figure out a way to get out of their cells and

begin hunting the people who are supposed to figuring out how they work.”

“Laura is right about that,” said Matilda. “I can’t think of an example where a single

caged area has held a monster for long.”

“Probably a good thing we talked to the Shemmarians about their stupid plans,” said

Jack.

“Do you think you made their government reconsider?,” said Elaine.

“I have no idea,” said Jack. “It’s hard to know how a political entity will react when

a fraction of the population drops dead.”

“What if they don’t?,” said Melanie.

“We’re looking at a possible war,” said Jack. “I think the King issuing arrest warrants

for the Montrose might ease some of the tension since they were working behind

the scenes to start things off.”

“Saving us might have caused this,” said Angelica.

“Saving you might have saved the world,” said Jack. He smiled at them. “Just don’t

get a big head about it.”

Elaine wrapped him in a stealth hug before leading them out of the tent.