Denial is the Way

Ender entered the first week of the second month of his pregnancy. He woke up feeling nauseous as he ran to the bathroom, quickly dropping on his knees to throw up. 

 

And like Nevan heard him, the man entered his room, walking to the bathroom. He rubbed Ender's back as the man threw up his empty stomach. 

 

Ignoring the hand rubbing his back, Ender cursed in his head as he threw up any liquid he had in his stomach. Two minutes passed when Ender did not feel like throwing up anymore. 

 

His body went lax as he rested next to the toilet. 

 

Nevan stood up, grabbing a small towel as he wet it. Then, he walked back to Ender, bending down as he wiped the vomit off the man's mouth and chin. 

 

Ender was too tired to stop Nevan as he said, "You do not need to do that. I would have done it when I got up." 

 

Nevan took in the bags under Ender's eyes as he could hear the man's stomach growling. He shook his head, putting the towel down when he finished. "I don't mind, Ender." 

 

"That is what you always say," Ender commented as he watched Nevan walk to the sink to wash the towel. 

 

The man wrung out the excess water before holding it in his hand. "I am going to start breakfast. Do you need help getting up?" 

 

Ender shook his head. 

 

Nevan looked at him before walking away. 

 

Sighing, Ender stood up, running his hand through his hair. He walked to the sink, pulling out his toothbrush to clean the throw-up out of his mouth. 

 

Once he put water and toothpaste on the toothbrush, Ender looked at his reflection as he started brushing his teeth. 

 

His blue hair looked messy as his black roots began to show. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he lost a few pounds rather than gaining any. 

 

The last two weeks had been a rough one because even though his stomach would growl, he did not feel hungry. And his insomnia kicked in, making it hard for him to sleep. 

 

He learned from the doctor that when it came to pregnancy, everyone experienced different things. And it seemed that Ender always ended up with the short stick. 

 

Ender spits out the toothpaste, turning the water back on as he puts some in his mouth, only to spit it back out. 

 

He wiped the remaining toothpaste off his mouth, turning the water off after washing his toothbrush before putting it away. 

 

Walking out of the bathroom, Ender yawned, rubbing his eyes. He wanted to go to sleep, but when his stomach did another rumble, he changed his mind. 

 

Please be hungry this time, baby. You are making us both suffer. Ender begged towards his stomach as he rubbed it. 

 

Even his family was worried when they saw Ender's appearance. Ender had to make sure that they did not come over. It was already enough with Nevan here. 

 

And speaking of Nevan, the man has been trying to get him to eat something, even if it was a small meal. Then, he would try to help him go to sleep by giving him lemon balm tea to help him sleep. 

 

But he only gave him small amounts and only on certain days. 

 

Nevan shows that he is a good caretaker, but Ender cannot help his silent fear. 

 

What if, the more they are in contact with each other, that Nevan would start to remember their night? 

 

Ender hoped not because he does not know how to explain why he lied to the man and hid that he is the other father. 

 

He tried not to worry about it too much because the doctor says stress isn't good for the baby, but he cannot help it. 

 

As Ender walked into the dining area near the kitchen, he sat down at the table. He watched Nevan cook some eggs and ham with toast. 

 

Nevan looked at Ender before walking over with some warm milk. He set it in front of him. Ender took the milk, taking a sip. 

 

"How are you feeling?" Nevan asked. 

 

Ender drank more of the milk, cringing a bit at the taste of mint toothpaste and milk mixing in his mouth. 

 

"Fine. But you know what would be better? If the months go by fast, and I can get this baby out." Ender answered, feeling a headache coming on. 

 

That was another problem he developed. Sometimes headaches would come and go. 

 

Nevan shook his head as his eyes fell on Ender's stomach. His hand trembled like he wanted to touch the man's stomach. But he stopped himself by grabbing the table instead. 

 

"Don't say that; the baby would think you don't want them," Nevan answered. 

 

Ender waved his hand, "That isn't what I meant. I am tired of my insomnia, losing weight, headaches, and throwing up. Either this pass, or I can only wish for days to blink on through." 

 

"The doctor says it will pass." 

 

Ender only hummed in response as he looked at the table. 

 

Nevan did not say anything as he went back to the food, checking on it. He finished cooking, putting the breakfast on two plates. 

 

Turning off the stove and putting the dishes up, he carried the food over to the table. Nevan set one plate in front of Ender then put his down next to him.

 

There were already utensils on the table as Ender picked up a fork and took a bite of his scrambled eggs. 

 

"If you cannot finish your meal, let me know." 

 

Ender nodded his head as he continued to eat. 

 

He slowly finished his eggs as he peeked over and saw that Nevan was already on his toast. Ender wanted to sigh. 

 

In the beginning, he had an appetite, but now it diminished, and he hates it. He is ready for it to come back again. 

 

"Ender, let's go out." Nevan suddenly said. 

 

Ender choked on his ham when he moved towards it after his eggs. He sharply looked at Nevan, feeling his hands starting to tremble while he began sweating. 

 

"W-What?" He stuttered. 

 

Nevan raised his eyebrow at Ender's weird reaction, "You have been cooped up in the house for a while. We should go somewhere so that you can have some fresh air." 

 

Ender swiftly deflated when Nevan cleared up what he meant. "Oh, uh. Okay. When do you want to go?" 

 

"In two hours." 

 

"Okay." 

 

He took another bite from his ham, trying to calm his racing heart that still didn't go back to its regular speed.