Denial is the Way

Month Five (1)



New Year's has come and gone as Ender's mother added Nevan to the family's group chat a few days ago. 

 

The responses from his siblings were uncertain. They accepted Nevan into the group, but there was an underlay of tension between his siblings and Nevan. 

 

Ender sighed. He ran his hand through his hair as he thought about it. 

 

His siblings are not dumb. They are perceptive when they want to be. And to have their mother wanting to add Nevan into the group chat created suspicion. 

 

Ender bets that some of his siblings guess that he lied, and Nevan is the father to his baby (well, babies). 

 

Biting his bottom lip, Ender wondered what would happen. It has been too quiet. 

 

The silence from the siblings reminded him of the saying: the calm before the storm.

 

Nevan walked into the house, making his way to the living room as he carried a bag in his hand. He saw Ender lying on the couch, unconsciously rubbing his protruding stomach while looking to be in deep thought. 

 

He walked over, squatting down as he poked Ender's cheek. Ender broke from his thoughts, softly slapping Nevan's finger away with a frown. "Can I help you?" 

 

Nevan internally laughed, shaking his head in an amused manner as he reached into the bag in his hand. He pulled out cookie dough ice cream, shaking it in front of Ender's face. 

 

"Look what I have," Nevan teased. 

 

Ender's eyes brightened as they followed the movement of the ice cream; he reached for the ice cream, "You are the best, Nevan! Do you get any fruit and whip cream that I can mix with the ice cream?" 

 

Nevan pulled the ice cream back, causing Ender to miss in grabbing it. He had a smirk on his face, especially when Ender's excited expression turned into a pout. 

 

"Hmm, I do, but what is the magic word?" 

 

Ender wanted to whine. He has been craving ice cream mixed with fruit and whip cream for a few days now. And Nevan is teasing him by showing he has it but not automatically giving it to him. 

 

"You are not only denying me food but our children too." Ender tried to reason. His eyes never left the ice cream. 

 

Nevan's smile grew as his heart fluttered. He loved hearing the words 'our children' coming from Ender's mouth. He felt like recording those words to listen to them all the time. 

 

"You're cute." Nevan continued to tease, keeping the ice cream out of Ender's reach. 

 

Ender glared. He could get up and reach for it, but he was too lazy to get up. All Ender wanted to do was eat his cravings and lay down for the rest of the day. 

 

"And deadly. I will kick you." Ender answered. 

 

"Like you are going to move." 

 

Ender almost threw his hands up in the air, rolling his eyes. He huffed, "Please." 

 

Nevan laughed, leaning forward as he kissed Ender. "Good job." He jokingly praised. 

 

Ender looked at the ice cream Rolling his eyes once more, ignoring how the kiss felt warm and soft on his lips. "Can I have it now?" He pulled puppy dog eyes. 

 

Nevan stood up, "Yeah. But let me set it up for you first." 

 

Walking out, Nevan entered the kitchen to put the ice cream in a bowl while adding the fruit and whip cream. 

 

Ender watched him walking away with a pout before looking back at nothing as he waited for the ice cream. 

 

He did not have the TV on since he kept thinking about Nevan, his siblings, and the group chat. But now that his thoughts are interrupted, Ender reaches for the remote, finally turning on the TV. 

 

Once the TV turned on, the channel was on a cartoon. Lately, feeling like the babies in him could see and hear the things he does, Ender started watching kids' cartoons. 

 

He would not lie about the cartoons being interesting as he became immersed in them. 

 

Rubbing his stomach once again, Ender noticed how his belly was getting bigger and bigger. And since he is carrying twins, it is more significant than usual. 

 

When he would look in the mirror, he would frown at how big his stomach was getting. Nevan would look at Ender's belly, smiling each time; he would even softly touch his stomach from time to time. 

 

Ender sighed from everything. At least he is finally around the month for another sonogram to see his babies while also finding out their genders. He is going back to the doctor next week with his mother (and Nevan). 

 

She wants to be there when the doctor tells him and Nevan the genders. Plus, she wanted a picture too. 

 

Nevan walked back into the living room with a bowl and spoon in his hand. Seeing him, Ender sat up, leaning back into the couch as he looked excited about the ice cream. 

 

Handing Ender the bowl and spoon, Nevan took a seat next to him once Ender took them. 

 

Ender started to dig in once he took the bowl and spoon. He closed his eyes, almost moaning as he enjoyed the taste of food. He licked the remaining whipped cream from his lips before he continued to eat. 

 

Nevan watched him with a smile before saying, "I signed us up for childbirth classes."

 

Ender stopped eating, setting his spoon down as he swallowed. He turned towards Nevan with a complicated expression, "Is that why you bought me this?" 

 

"You kept saying you wanted to wait, but I know you, Ender. You just became five months pregnant, and I don't think we should wait any longer. Your mother recommended a class to me, and I signed us both up for it. 

 

"The class starts in two weeks," Nevan responded. 

 

Ender's lips tilted down as he took a few seconds to think. I need to accept that this is happening. I am pregnant, and there is no going back on this. 

 

"Fine," Ender responded. "But that does not mean I am happy with you." 

 

Nevan moved closer to Ender, leaning on him as he kissed the man's cheek. "I know." He sweetly spoke close to Ender's ear. 

 

Ender felt warm as he tried to stop his smile, but he couldn't. He turned towards Nevan, "I will take a scoop of my ice cream and kiss you, knowing you don't like cookie dough." 

 

Nevan smirk, his eyes fell to Ender's lips, "If it is from you, I don't mind." 

 

Ender hit Nevan's shoulder with his as he rolled his eyes with an amused expression. "Idiot." He muttered under his breath. 

 

Nevan heard him but did not say anything because he is definitely an idiot for Ender. 

 


 

Yan 

 

Yan sat in his home office, not looking through his student's school work as Kori distracted him through text messages. 

 

He smiled at each text Kori would send him, feeling like he was back in high school. But, the sound of someone banging on the front door cut his focus. 

 

Yan stood up with his phone still in hand as he walked to his door. He opened it, wondering who could be on the other side. 

 

Once the door laid open, on the other side was a tall, beautiful woman. She had black hair, cut into a bob. She pulled her sunglasses back, showing piercing blue eyes. 

 

There were bags in her hands as she held a grave expression. 

 

Seeing the woman, Yan felt his heart-stopping as dread filled him. He opened his mouth, feeling like his tongue and throat became dry even though he could still talk. 

 

"Kim, why are you here?" Yan asked. His hand, holding the doorknob, shook as he wanted to slam the door in the woman's face. 

 

Instead of answering, Kim pushed her way instead, dropping the bags on the ground. 

 

Before Yan could say anything, something quickly ran towards him, hitting against his leg. He felt arms wrap around his legs as he looked down. 

 

A little boy with long light brown hair that laid against his shoulders looked up at Yan with glistening blue eyes. He looked like a copy of Yan with a few of the woman's features.  

 

The boy looked like he was four years old as he wore pants and a long sleeve shirt. 

 

"Daddy!" The little boy screamed. 

 

Yan sighed, touching the little boy's back as he bent down a little. "Nan, go wait in my room with the door closed, okay?" 

 

Nan nodded his head, letting go of Yan as he ran to the bedroom. Once the little boy was gone, Yan closed the door, looking at Kim as he crossed his arms. 

 

"What is going on? Why is Nan here? What is with the bags?" Yan started his list of questions. 

 

Kim sneered, growing annoyed, "There you go, asking questions like usual. And Nan stupidly picked that trait from you." 

 

Yan gritted his teeth, trying to hold back from yelling. 

 

He and Kim always ended up in a yelling match. Long ago, there used to be something between them. They dated for five years as they had a love-hate-hate relationship. 

 

Their relationship was like fireworks that never stopped burning, turning destructive the more and more they went off. Kim and Yan burned and burned until one day; the fire consumed their feelings. 

 

And it started four years ago when Kim became pregnant. They did not want a child, especially Yan.

 

People would call Yan cruel for this, but when Kim said she would keep the baby, Yan walked out. He did not want to be a father. He vowed never to have kids. 

 

And that led them to their second breaking point. Kim screamed at him that she never wanted to be a mother, but she did not want to give up her baby. She called him a coward for walking away and not stepping up to the plate. 

 

Yan did not care and told her that he would not acknowledge the child and that she better not use his name in any way. 

 

The conversation exploded, and they said too many cruel things while other things shattered around them. 

 

Yan blocked Kim from his life, acting like she didn't exist for a year. After a year, she started working at his eldest brother's work. She threatened that she would tell his family about Nan if he continued to ignore his son. 

 

He did not want to see Nan, but he did not want his family to know, so since that day, he started to see his son on certain days. 

 

Yan did grow to feel something for Nan, but he still did not want a child. 

 

"Kim," Yan warned, not saying anything else. 

 

Kim clicked her tongue, looking towards the window in the room as she crossed her arms. "I am leaving."

 

Yan looked at the bags on the ground, "So you came here for me to see Nan for one last time and to say goodbye?" 

 

Kim bitterly laughed, "As if I would ever say goodbye to you. You are a cruel man, Yan." 

 

Yan narrowed his eyes, "I am not cruel. I make terrible decisions, but do not compare me to you." 

 

Kim sharply turned towards Yan with a crazed look, "Yes, I am a vicious person. Cruel, dark, and morally questionable: that is me. And my past has finally come to bite me in the ass. 

 

"I am leaving Nan with you because I am disappearing, dropping off the grid forever." 

 

Yan's eyes grew wide as he stared at Kim with disbelief, "You cannot be serious, Kim! I do not want to be a father. Why can't you take him with you?" 

 

Kim rolled her eyes, "Grow the fuck up, Yan. I never wanted to be a mother. Shit, I never wanted Nan. But what did I do? I manned up and took care of him. 

 

"So, unless you want this child to show up dead, you better be a father and take care of your son." 

 

Yan flinched, jerking back as if someone hit him, "Kim," he started, only to get interrupted. 

 

"No. No. There is nothing to say. If you got someone pregnant that you loved, you would have loved that child. But sadly, it was me. 

 

"There was never love between us, Yan, only fiery passion that burned us from the inside out. Let's be honest; we are only using Nan as an excuse for us becoming like this. 

 

"But it is fine; I am leaving, and this is the last you will see of me, so maybe then, you will learn to love your son," Kim spoke. 

 

She stared at Yan as Yan could only look back at her with a clenched fist, not knowing what to say. Kim shook her head; she did not expect anything from Yan.

 

She only came to drop off Nan and leave forever. 

 

Kim looked away, opening the door and disappearing without saying goodbye to Nan or even looking back. 

 

Yan felt heated as he watched her leave. His hand was clenching his forgotten phone. He finally started to register that it was vibrating, indicating someone messaging him. 

 

Continuing to ignore it, Yan walked to the couch in a daze, sitting down as he set his phone down. He put his hand over his face, covering it as he felt nothing and everything. 

 

The sound of someone walking started to fill the room as it got closer to Yan. 

 

"Daddy, do you not want NanNan eithew?" A small voice muttered. 

 

Yan looked up, seeing that Nan had tears flowing down his face. The boy has been silently crying, meaning that he heard his and Kim's conversation. 

 

Yan felt guilty seeing Nan's face. He opened his arms, causing Nan to run into them, wrapping his small arms around him. He could feel the boy tightly holding onto his shirt. 

 

Rubbing his back, Yan closed his eyes, softly resting his chin on Nan's head as he started repeatedly whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 

 

His phone started ringing as Kori's name popped up. But Yan did not answer, ignoring his phone as he continued to apologize to his son. 

 


Disclaimer: Yan is not a bad person. But he never wanted to have a child, so he made a terrible decision. Plus, his relationship with Kim was toxic x100.

 


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