Demiurge (a Poseidon self-insert in Percy Jackson)

A haze took over the next months a hold on my mind. Every action be it walking or talking felt like an exhausting chore. I passed most of his time in his quarters relegating the governance of Othrys to my siblings and Atlas.

 

I saw concern grow in the eyes of my remaining siblings. "Are you alright brother?" they would always ask.

 

 

I would always answer with an "everything's fine" but instead of alleviating their concerns, it seemed to grow them.

 

 

Before, my siblings would only all unite in my castle for a great celebration or important matter concerning Othrys.

 

 

That wasn't the case anymore. My siblings would always come to me and try to bring me into one of their activities.

 

 

Mnemosyne would come and rant to me about arcane mysteries, about strange contraceptions and objects she created. I would close my eyes and listen and her voice would act as a lullaby for me.

 

Hyperion and Theia would always come with gifts, things of value and beautiful and stunning objects discovered or made in the part of Othrys they ruled. I would wake up with something added to my room and the shine and vanity of the object would immediately tell me that Hyperion or Theia or maybe the both of them came.

 

Krios would come and say nothing. He would just stay at my side without any question, any judgement. He would look at me with such care in his eyes that it made me tear up once, something I thought I wasn't capable of anymore.

 

 

 

Themis, just and lawful Themis, supreme judge of Othrys with her domain of divine law that like Rhea and Tethys abhorred my actions but unlike them, understood their necessity would come, place my head on her knees and sing softly for me.

 

 

Iapetus would come to my side and read stories, tales of foreign realms to me, about their gods, their heroes and their monsters. His soft but firm voice would allow me while Lapetus was there to forget about Rhea for a moment.

 

 

Dione would come with her doves. The avian beings and their mistress would come and hug me making for an instant fade the never-ending exhaustion that always plagued me.

 

On a rare day, when none of my siblings were there with me, I heard a voice, her voice call me. "Now is the time Kronos," she would tell me. "Let's finally end this," with this declaration, the voice faded.

 

 

I didn't need to be told where she was. With a thought, I disappeared from Othrys to reappear on a familiar island, our island, where everything between the two of us truly began and where it was natural for things to end.

 

She was there, her feet in the water turned away from me carrying a wailing babe in a bundle of silks.

 

I walked to her side. "You look horrendous," she said to me.

 

He looked at his reflection in the water. In the past, he was a dashing god who induced respect, lust and envy at those seeing him. What had taken his place was a frail-looking old man with a ton long pointy beard, dull golden eyes and a receding hairline.

 

 

"You're not wrong," I replied. "I would have probably been worse if not for the others."

 

"The ones you chose. I hope for your sake they never leave or turn against you," Rhea told me.

 

 

 

"I have faith in them. I know they won't," I said to her.

 

"Don't rely on only faith unless you want to be disappointed. Faith alone isn't enough. You taught me this," she answered.

 

She pushed the bundle of silk towards me "Here's the child."

 

I took the child into my arms and began to inspect him. "What did you call him?" I asked her.

 

"Zeus," she spoke softly "I called him Zeus."

 

"I won't stay to see you swallow the child." She turned away from me.

 

"So this is truly the end? Everything's going to end m now like this?" I asked her.

 

 

She didn't turn to face me. "I'm tired of this Kronos. I can't deal with and endure all of this anymore. If it makes you feel better I'm not sure I could ever love again like I did and still love you."

 

"If I could be different, I would. If the world was different, kinder, perfect, I wouldn't have done any of it. I only wished to spend eternity with you at my side. I wanted to be a better father than Ouranos. I would if I could," I whispered.

 

 

"Perfect worlds don't exist Kronos. They're only dreams, lies and illusions we tell ourselves could exist to escape the guilt and the wretched reality we live in. The truth Kronos, is that this is it and let me assure you." She faded out of existence, the mental link they shared since their wedding severed.

 

 

"It won't get better" her voice whispered. I felt a light touch on my lips and with it, I was left alone on the island with my next victim.

 

I tried to put a lid on my emotions but was unable to. "killing me would have been kinder Rhea," I murmured.

 

 

I focused back on the child with his electric blue eyes that reminded me of a past nightmare. I opened my mouth and swallowed.

 

*Scene*

 

As Rhea had promised me, I never saw her again. Even though I could search for her, I restricted myself from doing so. After all, what would be the point after all? I wasn't strong enough to change the past. Nothing I would say or do would be able to repair the fracture between us except giving back the children I had swallowed, children I didn't even know if they were still alive or had faded in my stomach, children that were also prophecied to dethrone me.

 

"Kronos," I heard.

 

I turned my gaze to the direction of the voice and found Hyperion. Usually, the elder Titan never truly talked. He just placed in the chamber of Kronos objects he found of great value and splendour. "Yes?" I forced myself to answer.

 

"A feast had been organised by nymphs. I think it would be good for you to come," Hyperion told me.

 

"You know feasts aren't something I love to frequent brother," I answered him.

 

 

"Please, brother" Hyperion begged, "come with me.”

 

 

I sighed "Go alone Hyperion. I'm sorry but I can't."

 

"Understood brother," the older Titan said dejectedly.

 

Hyperion sat at my side and stayed in silence "I thought you were supposed to go to the feast,” I spoke.

 

"I was supposed to but only boring immortals go to feasts alone and unfortunately, my dear little brother doesn't care about his lonely older brother," Hyperion whined.

 

"I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. With the way you behave you'd think that you were the youngest when it's not the case at all," I told him.

 

 

"Please," my brother begged.

 

"No, Hyperion," I answered.

 

"Please," the older Titan repeated.

 

"I already said no Hyperion" I said to him.

 

"Please, brother! Please!" Hyperion whined to me like a child.

 

I raised my right hand in the air "Stop, you're giving me a headache, something that should normally be impossible for a deity. Fine, I will come with you."

 

 

I was manhandled and had my breath knocked out of my lungs "Thank you so much, brother. I knew I could count on you."

 

 

Hyperion released me onto the bed and turned away to begin to rummage through one of the giant closets in my room where he liked to put the ton of clothes he gifted to me.

 

"Found it," my brother said in triumph and turned to face me with something in his hands. The clothes he had chosen were a Peplos of purple colour with spots of deep black that created an intricate pattern resembling a scythe. To complete the outfit was a Himation of purples and white.

 

My brother threw them at me "I assure you that you should wear them."

 

I touched the Peplos with my fingers trying to discern the origin of the fabric "I could have just created clothes with my powers. I've never understood why you or the others obsess over things you don't need."

 

 

"The answer to your question is simple Kronos. We do so because we can. Where is the gratification, where is the joy when you can directly have it? These clothes, these jewels, this luxury, because of them, most of our subjects and of our family except the other elders see me as vapid. They don't understand all of these things are art pieces, masterfully created with effort, expertise, suffering and courage. I wear them, these testaments to the living to remind everyone and myself that I'm truly living, not just surviving anymore."

 

 

"I show them," he continued "through these things, I am no longer restricted, that the world and its wonders are in my grasp, that I'm bright and don't have to hide it because of fear for my siblings and me. I wear them under this false sky to show I'm not afraid anymore. I wear them instead of creating them with my powers because it is something I couldn't have imagined in the past when we were hiding within the depths of our mother that could one day do."

 

 

"All of this brother," he said "is because of you. I don't care if you do the most vile things. I won't ever judge you because of your actions. Even if in the future, your love towards us turns into hatred, I will still love you and try to stay by your side," Hyperion declared.

 

 

"Sometimes, I feel like I don't know what I'm even doing. Nothing seems to make sense anymore," I admitted.

 

"It's okay if, for you, this world doesn't make sense anymore. I always thought that the world was mad but it's okay." Hyperion came close to me and kissed the crowned of my head "It doesn't matter if the world doesn't make any sense. As long as we have each other, I know that everything will be alright".

 

Hyperion clapped his hands "Enough talking. We have a feast to attend to. Go wear them."

 

"Alright," I answered him walking toward one of the dressing rooms of my chamber. "Thanks you Hyperion," I said.

 

 

"For what?" Hyperion asked.

 

A chuckle escaped me. I didn't deserve them "Forget it."

 

*scene*

 

The feast had been organized by an Oceanid which meant that the event would occur near a large body of water.

 

I followed Hyperion as we flew towards the place of the feast. We could have teleported but according to Hyperion, it would have been boring and supposedly there was nothing better than arriving late.

 

 

I watched Hyperion’s form dance into the sky. He swooped through trees, surfed on clouds and sometimes chose to fly extremely close to the ground.

 

 

The scenery went past us as we tore through the air "We're almost there brother," Screamed Hyperion. "Prepare yourself to land".

 

"Understood," I replied.

 

Like Hyperion had said we had been close to our destination. Not thirty seconds after the words of my older brother, my vision was assaulted by bright lights and mortals and immortals alike who seemed to be lost in the grips of lust and revelry.

 

We stopped just above "Don't tell me you brought me to an orgy Brother. I thought it would just be a normal feast,” I told him.

 

Hyperion laughed "But this is a normal feast in Othrys brother."

 

"The ones we organized were never like this," I replied.

 

"They were like this. It's just that you never paid attention to them," Hyperion said to me.

 

 

"We also didn't try to involve you because we knew you were fixated on Rhea," Hyperion added.

 

Hearing her name felt as if I had been punched in the guts. My reaction must have been evident because my brother grabbed Kronos's face "No thinking about her. We're here to have a good time."

 

I took a deep breath and nodded. He touched softly my forefront with his before retreating. “Let's go down,” he spoke. I nodded.

 

Hyperion and I began to lower ourselves until our feet touched the ground. The participants of the feasts had stopped for a moment due to our arrival and after seeing that there was no problem or any other disruption went back to enjoying themselves.

 

 

An attractive oceanid walked towards us. "My lords," she curtsied. "The presence of you two here my lords, is a pleasure. However, I thought your lady wife would also be present my lord Hyperion?"

 

 

"Unfortunately that won't be the case," Hyperion answered her. "She told me that she was too busy dealing with matters of Othrys as if she couldn't duplicate herself but it is what is. Even though my wife wasn't able to come, I was able to bring my brother. Were you able to accomplish the task I gave you Asterodia?" Hyperion asked her.

 

 

"Yes my lord we did," the nymph answered. As if it was a signal, a woman appeared, who seemed to be a daughter of Oceanus and Tethys due to the smell of saltwater that followed her arrival.

 

I looked at the new arrival and all of my thoughts went into disarray. She looked like Rhea or as close as it was possible to look like her for something less divine "Allow me my lords to present my sister Philyra."

 

"You did well as always Asterodia," Hyperion said to the nymph.

 

 

He turned towards me "I'll leave the two of you alone. For an instant stop thinking about the past and the future. Allow yourself to feel and experience the present."

 

 

Hyperion began to walk away accompanied by Asterodia. "I can not wait to see what company you've arranged for me this time".

 

"We prepared men and women to attend you, lord Hyperion, I'm sure you'll find them enjoyable," I heard her say before their voices began indistinguishable from the voices around them.

 

 

My attention went back to the nymph, to the false rhea that was now presenting her hand to me waiting for it to be grabbed.

 

 

Could I really do this? I knew what would happen if I grabbed her hand. Even though Rhea and I weren't together anymore, even though we probably would never be together again, our mental link and our marriage had been dissolved, it still felt like a betrayal not only to Rhea but also to myself.

 

 

'Stop thinking about the past and the future,' I remembered the words of his brother. Maybe I would regret my actions later or maybe I wouldn't. I would in this moment focus only on the present.

 

I grabbed her hand letting our fingers intertwine. I let myself be directed by her. We passed through rowdy and drunk humans and lower divine beings. I followed behind as we walked for what seemed to be an eternity. I allow myself to forget about the departure of Rhea, about the time I made her cry. I imagined that the Oceanid I was following was instead my wife.

 

 

I ignored how her hair was bone straight instead of thick curls ringlets and waves. I ignored how wrong her skin felt to the touch.

 

I ignored how the ocean green of her eyes could never be compared to the shining unearthly emeralds of Rhea.

 

We were ascending I realized. The air felt different and the voices and the noises they made seemed to begin to be more and more away.

 

 

 

"We are here my lord," Rhea said.

 

"Call me Kronos," I told her.

 

"Understood Kronos," Rhea answered.

 

We were at the top of the mountain where the feast was happening. From where we were I could see that we were surrounded by large bodies of water. As a matter of fact, on each flank, the sea and a rounded gulf could be seen.

 

"It is beautiful and so much calmer," I surprised myself by saying.

 

"I am so glad you think so Kronos," Rhea said.

 

I turned towards her to see that while I was looking at the landscape, she had been looking at me as if she was examining me.

 

There were so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted to apologize for swallowing their children, I wanted to tell Rhea how her absence made me feel as if my heart had been torn away from my chest.

 

 

I was unable to because Rhea kissed me. I ignored how different it felt. I ignored the strange ache in my chest. I ignored the wrongness I felt and kissed her back.