DC & Marvel: This Guy Is Crazy

Chapter 162 – The Dark Knights Appear

Midnight Bruisers became an overnight sensation.

The next day, at the mayor's invitation, they held a public appearance in Wayne Plaza.

Allen didn't make any decisions about the event; the team arranged everything themselves.

As for Drake—the only unfortunate one kicked out of the group—he had already been stuffed into a silver coffin.

Allen didn't toss him into the ocean. Instead, he stored the coffin in a warehouse inside Arkham Fortress.

Along the way, he had a larger birdcage made specifically to house his bat pet and placed it inside the fortress.

With that done, Allen set off in search of Bruce.

He pedaled his unicycle through the noisy city center.

As usual, he decided to farm some mobs first.

He circled around the relief center in a square route.

As soon as he stopped, he asked a familiar volunteer, "Erin, what's on the menu today?"

"Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, vegetable salad, and Dr. C's cherry soda."

Erin handed him an envelope—it contained five dollars in relief cash.

Cash was only distributed once a month, a pitiful amount.

Allen took the envelope and scoffed, "Your cook must be sick in the head. If they can afford meat, can't they afford salt? The stew's dry and tasteless."

Being a skilled cook himself, Allen had little tolerance for bland white-people food.

Especially at the relief center, where the chef tried to cater to the diverse homeless population by creating bizarre fusion dishes that defied all logic—and taste.

So today, Allen took only the money, not the food.

"You're a superhero now, and you're still fighting the homeless for meals? Don't you feel ashamed?" Erin asked.

If she hadn't seen Allen on TV last night, she would've thought he was just some deranged cosplayer.

"What does being a superhero have to do with money?" Allen shot back, pouting.

"Don't all superheroes have money?"

Freckles dotting her face, Erin scrunched her nose in confusion—how could someone be a hero if they couldn't even afford to eat?

"If I had money, why the hell would I be a superhero?"

Without another word, Allen pedaled off toward Wayne Plaza on his one-wheeled bike.

Erin stared after him, lost in thought. After a long while, she muttered to herself, "You know what… that kinda makes sense."

Wayne Plaza.

A huge crowd had gathered to catch a glimpse of the Midnight Bruisers.

On the Comedy Troupe's side, only Nanaue got swarmed by kids asking for pictures.

The Joker, Riddler, and Penguin were all held back by their notorious pasts—no one dared approach them for autographs.

Sure, the Joker had plenty of secret admirers, but no one wanted to admit they were fans of his.

As for the Riddler and Penguin, a surprising number of upper-middle-class professionals deliberately acted like they didn't recognize them—despite being premium members of the "Riddle Penguin Funhouse" and unwilling to publicly acknowledge that fact.

"They're heroes now. What the hell am I, then?"

Up on a rooftop, Damian frowned as he watched the event.

He couldn't understand how criminals had become heroes, and what that meant for everything he'd dedicated himself to.

"Damian, you can't judge the world just by what you see," Talia said gently.

"Right," Damian replied irritably. "I don't even know who my father is anymore."

"You little brat! Why won't you believe your mother!?" Talia snapped.

She'd explained it countless times, but Damian wouldn't let it go.

"He's in his rebellious phase. Give him some time—kukuku…" came a mocking voice behind them.

Mother and son turned to see Allen grinning shamelessly.

"Hmph!"

Damian fired his grappling gun and zipped away.

Even if Allen wasn't his father, the vague relationship between him and Damian's mother made things extremely awkward.

"What are you doing here again!?" Talia felt an oncoming menopause-level migraine.

Nothing good ever happened when this guy showed up.

Last time, Allen made the already rebellious Damian even more impossible to deal with.

And just last night, he threw her father—the Demon's Head—into Blackgate Prison.

New grudges, old grudges, all piling up… Talia hated that she couldn't beat him.

"Bats and Catwoman eloped. Before they left, they asked me to take care of you two," Allen said seriously, hand on chin.

"You're nuts. I saw Selina just yesterday," Talia shot back.

"Ah, my mistake," Allen said, smacking his forehead. "Bats eloped with Wonder Woman. He asked me to take care of you two and Selina. The four of us living happily ever after. Oh, and I inherit Wayne Enterprises."

Allen sighed, spreading his hands helplessly. "What can I say? I'm just too loyal. I reluctantly agreed."

"…"

Talia narrowed her eyes. "You're sure it was Wonder Woman?"

"One hundred percent."

Allen suddenly felt a chill and gasped. "Crap—killing intent!"

He spun around to see Wonder Woman, Diana, staring at him with a cold, amused smile.

"Too late."

By the time he realized what had happened, Talia had already taken off after Damian.

"Your Highness! Long time no see—I've missed you dearly."

Allen grinned sheepishly, gazing at her with admiration. "Did you come just to see me? I'm touched. So touched I could cry."

Shing!

The God Killer Sword was suddenly at Allen's throat.

"You've been spreading rumors about me again, haven't you?" Diana demanded.

Thud!

Allen instantly dropped to his knees, clinging to her long, graceful leg. "Heaven and earth can testify to my feelings for Your Highness! I think of you day and night—I've lost weight from longing!"

"I heard you're pretty cozy with Zatanna and Jean Grey."

Diana's smile widened, but Allen's heart turned cold. He glanced around—no Zatanna, no Jean Grey—then nuzzled her leg and whined, "They're nothing compared to you. They're not even one-ten-thousandth of your leg hair. So smooth... heh."

"If you dare lick again, I'll shove this sword down your throat," Diana growled.

"Don't be jealous, Your Highness. Those dime-a-dozen girls don't hold a candle to you."

Allen rubbed his cheek against her leg, eyes closed in bliss.

"You all heard that, right?" Diana called out.

"Huh… wait—they're here!?"

Allen's eyes flew open. He looked around and realized he'd been tricked again.

Seeing Diana's smug smile, he scowled and wrapped his arms and legs around her thigh. "Now I'm mad. I'm going to cling to your leg all day."

Diana couldn't understand. "How the hell are you still alive, acting like this? It's baffling."

"You should ask the dumbass author. I'm obviously handsome, and yet I'm made to beg for food every day. Why can't a rich woman just take care of me?"

Allen started ranting: "They say reading ten thousand books is better than walking ten thousand miles. Walking ten thousand miles is worse than getting a demolition payout. But nothing beats a rich woman taking you under her wing. Cuts twenty years off your struggle—and twenty years off your life, serving her!"

"…"

"Diana, who the hell is he?" asked a voice.

The Justice League had arrived on the rooftop.

Superman, Aquaman, Cyborg, Green Lantern, Flash, and Green Arrow.

Aside from Green Arrow, whom Allen knew, and Flash, who he'd seen before, the others were new to him.

Other League members were still busy saving the world.

"I'm Her Highness's fiancé, Prince-Consort of Themyscira, Justice Knight Bateman, the People's Whip-Hero, and your comedic protagonist Comedic Bat," Allen declared proudly. "Hey, Supes! Sweating yet?"

"…"

Superman really wanted to laser him on the spot.

"He's nuts. Always has been," Green Arrow explained.

"Hey Ollie, you're looking even greener these days," Allen waved.

"…"

Now Oliver was also tempted to heat-vision him.

"Our priority is finding Batman," Green Lantern interjected.

"Lately, we've been bogged down by minor crises and distractions. I think there's a conspiracy," Cyborg said darkly.

Aquaman, ever the lone wolf, ignored them. He stared down into the crowd at Orm and said, "I'm going to arrest that convict, then deal with whoever let him out."

He then glanced at Allen, still clinging to Diana's leg like a koala.

"Your Highness, I'm scared. You wouldn't want to be widowed, right?" Allen whimpered from behind her leg, his mischievous grin refusing to leave.

"Don't hold back," Diana instructed Aquaman.

"Ha! I knew it—you're only this angry because you care. That proves you like me!" Allen beamed, still hugging her leg with no intention of letting go.

"Is that Bruce?" Flash pointed at a man in the crowd wearing a damaged Batsuit.

"It's him. But something's wrong," Superman said, using his super senses.

Even visually, Bruce's state was alarming.

His suit was torn, his face haggard, and he looked panicked as if being hunted.

The League immediately rushed to help him.

"Can you get off my leg? I have work to do," Diana said, rolling her eyes.

"Sure thing. Sluurp…"

"Ugh…"

Allen licked her leg as he let go, much to her disgust.

As the League appeared, the scene erupted into chaos.

"Get out of here! It's a trap!" Bruce shouted.

Too late.

Killers hidden in the crowd launched a surprise assault.

The heroes had to defend innocent civilians, spreading their forces thin.

The Midnight Bruisers joined the rescue efforts—except for the Comedy Troupe, who fled in terror.

Nanaue, however, used his body as a shield to protect the children.

The overwhelming number of assassins unleashed heavy firepower with no regard for bystanders, overwhelming the heroes.

None of them noticed a Batarang hurtling toward Bruce.

"No—!"

BOOM…

Nth Metal—the final metal—merged with its destined host.

A portal to the Dark Multiverse opened.

A bolt of pitch-black lightning split the sky and struck Bruce's position.

"Batman!?"

Superman's vision couldn't penetrate the darkness. He was desperate to know if Bruce was okay.

"We are here… we've always been here…"

As the lightning faded—

The Dark Knights had arrived.

And yet, the Dark Knights, the Justice League, the Midnight Bruisers… all turned to look at Allen.

"I feel like I should add a line for dramatic effect."

That's right. The voice from earlier was Allen's.

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