DASH

And not just a little bit of information, but very carefully studied everything. From such boundless confidence, Ji Hong was so confused that he began to stutter.
"No, how are you... How could you... Why at all?
"Why?" Because of you, hyung.

Jae Kyung frowned, as if he didn't understand how it was possible not to know this. Finally, a wave of deep resentment began to emanate from him.
"You said something about a daughter who looks like me. So I thought it would be better if the child looked like you, hyung... And when I imagined how you teach children like us to swim in the pool, it was so... so...
Jae Kyung couldn't finish the sentence and hid his face in his palms. "It seems that from fantasies alone, he could not cope with the feelings that overwhelmed him. Of course, a guy who for more than twenty years has never thought about his own children, for two days he only thought about it. There must have been complete chaos going on in his mind. And the fact that among all the possible fantasies - feeding the child, hugging, comforting and caressing - he chose «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» to learn to swim in the pool, was so characteristic of Kwon Jae Kyung..."

Anyway, since it was his fault, Ji Hong had nothing to say. Remembering his behavior during heat, he perfectly understood why Jae Kyung was so carried away. After all, he did not just repeat "I want to get pregnant" and "in me", but also carried all sorts of things like "I want a daughter like you" and "she would be so beautiful". It turns out that he did not just give hope to an unsuspecting guy, but fanned a flame from a spark.
"What to do now?"
Ji Hong was lost in thought as he lay on the bed. To be honest, when Jae Kyung first hinted that he wanted a child, he decided that he just hadn't recovered from the rut yet. I thought to postpone the conversation for later, to wait until this desire naturally faded away. But judging by Jae-kyung's current state, if the conversation was postponed, he would only sink deeper into his fantasies. Look, he would start looking for children's swimsuits and fins - the situation caused serious concerns. It would be much worse to remain silent now out of false concern and then cause even more disappointment.

- Jae Kyung-ah.
Finally, Ji Hong sat up on the bed and called out to him.
- I don't want to have children.

He waited for a hail of questions: "Why? Why don't you want to? Will you ever change your mind? Are you sure not?", but contrary to expectations, Jae Kyung remained silent. As if he had foreseen such an answer, he simply replied quietly:
-Yes. Yes I know. Hyun, you've said that before.
Looking down, Jae Kyung muttered that he was just asking in case something had changed. Then he lay down on the bed, as if switching places with Ji Hun.

- To be honest, I myself was embarrassed that I wanted a child. Even when I thought about it alone, I constantly felt uncomfortable. I just dream of a child, and you will have to give birth. In the end, all the hardships and sufferings will go to the hyung...
With each word, Jae Kyung's face grew darker. Seeing this expression, which was more self-flagellation than resignation, Ji Hong felt a pang of guilt.
The best way to stop Jae Kyung's mayhem is to pretend that it hurts. Although Ji Hong often complained of pain, he actually tolerated it quite well. Not that he was insensitive, on the contrary, because of his sporting past, he reacted sharply to the slightest changes in his body. It's just that his pain threshold was higher than that of others - he believed that in general he could endure almost anything. Of course, except for the case during the knot, when it seemed that the whole body seemed to be torn apart. Ji Hong knew if he said, "Yes, I hate pain. I really hate it," and Jae Kyung will never talk about it again. But he still won't be able to stop thinking about the child. And every time he will reproach himself for unscrupulous thoughts. Therefore, Ji Hong decided to be honest.

- It's not about physical suffering. I'm just not sure of myself.
He firmly indicated: the problem is not in childbirth, but in upbringing.
- Simply put, this is the creation of a completely new person. I have to create it myself, grow it from the moment of its inception to an adult - in my opinion, this is an incredibly serious matter. Ordinary liability is not enough here. And I don't think I can handle it well.
Jae Kyung wanted to say something, but he didn't say anything. Ji Hong guessed - he was going to grumble "why does hyun draw such conclusions without even trying", but he realized that such a decision really requires careful thought. Fortunately, Jae Kyung seemed to understand. Ji Hong added, as if putting an end to it.

- Since I became an adult, I have never thought about becoming a parent. Later, I gave up the idea of marriage, firmly deciding not to marry and not to have children.
"But you're going to get married anyway, hyung.
-A what?.. On whom? Ji Hong asked, his eyes wide.

-A what? Jae Kyung stared at him now.
- On me, of course. Who else?
He spoke as if he had heard complete nonsense. Ji Hong grabbed his hand in confusion.

"Hey, wait. When did we talk about this?
-Never.
- …

Before Ji Hong could ask why he was carrying such a thing then, Jae Kyung abruptly sat down and said:
"Isn't that a matter of course?" We love each other, we do not want to part, we have different surnames, we are not blood relatives and not blood enemies - what are the reasons not to get married?
Jae Kyung spoke so confidently and convincingly that Ji Hong thought for a second, "It's true. There is not a single reason not to get married. But, fortunately, he quickly came to his senses:

"Listen, why should we marry just because we love each other?" In the modern world?
- And then what to do if you don't get married?
- Not "what to do?", but just you can live together without marriage and break up whenever you want.

- Why break up if this will never happen? Jae Kyung snapped.
-Da? Can you vouch for it?
-I do.

Jae Kyung replied without hesitation, as if it was obvious, and then suddenly stared at Ji Hong with rounded eyes.
"Hyung, can you vouch for it?"
Seeing his shocked expression and tone, Ji Hong hurriedly replied.

- No, I probably won't want to part either because my feelings have changed. I guess.
-I guess?..
Jae Kyung narrowed his eyes.

"You can't throw around the word 'never' so easily...
When Ji Hong said that you can't be so sure about the future, Jae Kyung wanted to object again, but only sighed softly and nodded. From the look on his face, he was thinking, "Well, it's a good thing that hyun at least said that."
"Well, then why don't you want to get married?"

- It's not that I don't want to, I just don't see a special need. "No one knows what will happen next, so why bind yourself to such onerous formalities? After the wedding, a lot changes, a lot of trouble appears. Therefore, it is better just to calmly go with the flow and..."
- Хён.
Jae Kyung suddenly called out to him in a muffled voice. And without waiting for an answer, with an extremely serious expression on his face, he said:

"Do you know what your words sound to me?"
"And how?"
- Something like this: "Yes, it's definitely a puppy, since you were born to dogs, but you don't have to call it a puppy, and since you can't be one hundred percent sure that it will grow up to be a dog, let's just observe."

"What kind of nonsense?"
Ji Hong laughed at the absurdity of the comparison, and Jae Kyung immediately retorted.
- Nonsense. Doggy nonsense.

Where has the recent depression gone? He instantly switched to harsh expressions. Judging by the sudden eruption of the geyser, he was quite furious.
"All right, we'll get married." If you don't care whether you marry or not, and I do, then we will do it.
Jae Kyung cut off as if he wasn't going to give Ji Heon a word anymore.

- As for the child - I understand that all the burdens will fall on you, so I will never insist. But marriage is completely different. So let me do what I want.
Clucking his tongue and throwing back his bangs, Jae Kyung suddenly became serious, as if he remembered something.
"Oh yes, that's not a suggestion. Officially, I'll do it when I win gold at the Olympics, so let's pretend that this conversation didn't happen. Got it? He demanded, and Ji Hong only laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

"Hey, how can I pretend I didn't hear when I've already heard?"
-I don't know. This is your problem, come up with something.
Jae Kyung snapped, like, what, and I have to think about this?

- When I make a proposal, you should react as if you are hearing it for the first time. For sure.
He said it almost threateningly, and then suddenly said, "Well, you must be tired, rest," and left the room. Even when Ji Hong called out to him, pretended not to hear and closed the door. It was obvious that the rest was just an excuse, but in reality, he had run away to prevent Ji Heon from saying that he was not going to accept his offer. Left alone, Ji Hong laughed at first, stunned by this hurricane of events, but gradually became serious. Soon he lowered his head and pressed his fingertips to his eyelids.