Dao of the Bizarre Immortal

Chapter 34 - The God of Happiness

Just as Li Huowang was about to lose consciousness, he quickly grabbed the bronze bell hanging from his waist and swung his arm. The bell’s signature piercing sound resounded, causing him to quickly snap back to consciousness.

Bang!

The back of Li Huowang’s head hit the ground hard, his head ringing from the impact.

However, he ignored the pain and continued to ring the bell.

I almost got fooled by this thing!

Soon, the edges of the tables, the stage, and even the memorial tablets started wriggling before congregating onto a single spot.

Li Huowang pushed through the intense pain and pointed at the ‘thing’. The Wandering God that he had summoned understood his order and pounced on the fake Lu Zhuangyuan.

Seeing that Li Huowang now had a helping hand, the ‘thing’ wanted to escape, but it was too late; the Wandering God had already arrived beside it.

But instead of attacking the body of the fake Lu Zhuangyuan, it pounced onto the ground and into its shadow.

The Wandering God’s body appeared to be made from razor-sharp lines which it used to slice up the shadow into little pieces, causing the ‘thing’ to howl like a beast in pain and struggle on the floor.

So it's real body is the shadow? No wonder it didn’t die even though I cut it in half earlier.

Under the Wandering God’s assault, the shadow dispersed, causing the fake Lu Zhuangyuan’s body to deflate as it ultimately became a pile of black goo.

Just as Li Huowang thought that everything was over, the Wandering God quickly returned and circled around him.

What the? Is it not over?

Li Huowang had been prepared to stop ringing the bell, but seeing how it might not yet be over, he quickly swung it even harder.

Upon realizing that hiding wouldn’t work, the ‘girl’ with the tiny feet appeared from a crack, staring angrily at him.

Oh? So it can split itself in half? It seems that the fake Lu Zhuangyuan was made by its other half.

Just as he had this thought, another ‘girl’ with tiny feet split from the body of the first one. Then, the ‘thing’ started splitting itself into more and more bodies!

Soon, they started splitting into numerous bodies, each getting smaller and smaller.

Li Huowang immediately ordered the Wandering God to attack all of them. At this point, the ‘thing’ was only the size of his palm.

However, it was futile. The Wandering God’s attacks were much slower than the rate at which it was splitting. All of ‘her’ clones circled around Li Huowang as they continued splitting while chanting something, their bloody mouths opening and closing eerily.

“The God of Happiness is happy and laughing. He dresses jovially and greets everyone happily~ The God of Happiness dances and parties. All families change their couplets to greet him~ The God of Happiness is angry and sad. The skull he carries brightens even the seas~ The God of Happiness is hungry and thirsty; with a liver on the left arm and intestines on the right arm, the village elder greets the God of Happiness~!”

Just as ‘they’ finished chanting, all of them exploded into black goo that showered the entire area. The area around Li Huowang became pitch black.

While he didn’t know what that ‘thing’ had done, he knew that something was definitely off. He stopped swinging the bell and tried to run. However, when he tried moving his feet, he found that he couldn’t move them. It was as if his legs had been nailed to the ground.

At that moment, a soft force pushed his chin upward and forced him to stare toward the sky.

The sky was pitch black, but somehow, Li Huowang saw something moving in the darkness—something quite large.

The God of Happiness?

Just as he had that thought, something emerged from the darkness.

Oh shit! It must’ve detected my thoughts! I must escape!

Li Huowang wanted to escape, but his body refused to move. He strained his body as hard as he could, his breathing turning rapid as his veins began to bulge.

At that moment, his arm suddenly tore off his Taoist robe and was forced upward; it was as if he were greeting the ‘thing’ in the dark.

Meanwhile, the ‘thing’ in the darkness became clearer and clearer. Li Huowang could finally identify parts of its face! At the same time, his eyes started bleeding, and blood streamed down his face.

I cannot look at it any longer! I must close my eyes!

Li Huowang used all of his strength to no avail. He could see the head of the God of Happiness—that is, if that big mass of black goo could even be called a head.

Just as the ‘thing’ was about to emerge completely from the darkness, a peculiar sound rang out from behind it.

Tak tak~

The ‘thing’ in the darkness suddenly stopped and shrunk, almost as if something was pulling it back into the dark.

At the same time, the sudden sound of a rooster caw sounded all around them, and the dark sky shattered like a mirror.

Li Huowang finally regained control of his body as he cracked his bones and crumpled down to the ground. He was panting hard as he stared at the large stone bricks with both of his hands supporting his body.

Shit! What did that ‘girl’ with tiny feet summon? What just happened?

Many questions kept popping up in his mind.

He held onto the edge of a table and slowly sat down before looking back up into the sky; he saw nothing, almost as if everything had been an illusion.

Meanwhile, the sky was starting to grow bright. The fifth section of the night had passed. Soon, the members of the Hu family would come and place the memorial tablets of their ancestors back on the altars.

The stage was still filled with singing and dancing. Lu Zhuangyuan and the rest had performed for the entire night. Even though their voices were shaking and hoarse, they dared not stop.

Looking at the black memorial tablets, Li Huowang suddenly realized that the sound just now had been from them slamming onto the tables.

Li Huowang was shocked.

Did the ancestor’s of the Hu family help me?

He thought about it and felt that it might be a possibility, so he faced the memorial tablets before giving them his respect. “Thank you for the assistance.”

Just as he did so, the tablets once again started shaking and slamming the table lightly.

Seeing the increasingly strong slamming, Li Huowang took a step back, fully alert.

What the? Did I do something wrong? It’s almost daytime now, so why aren’t all of you going back?

Just as he was wandering about, all of the memorial tablets fell backward.

Then, a familiar voice rang out by his ears, chilling him to the core.

“My dear disciple.”