DanMachi: Cheat? What's a Cheat?

Chapter 19 – Dawn

4:00 AM – Hestia Church, Orario

Here's a fact you guys need to know about waking up at the crack of dawn: the human body wasn't designed for this shit. And my body? It's protesting in the most obvious way possible.

---

The sky outside was still dark when I slowly opened my eyes, wrapped in thin fog that covered Orario like a wrinkled blanket.

The dawn air bit at my skin with annoying cold, but at least it was refreshing enough to keep me from falling back asleep.

Pain.

My whole body felt like it'd been used as a punching bag by a troll. My back was stiff as a board, arms and thighs aching like crazy.

Even my fingers felt heavy like swollen sausages.

"Nnngh..." My first sound of the morning. Very elegant.

I tried to get up, but something was weird.

There was something heavy on my chest.

More specifically, two somethings that were... oh.

Oh no.

Something soft, warm, and very... VERY... suffocating! I couldn't breathe! Like being buried in an avalanche, but an avalanche that was very... high quality?

Without thinking, my hand reflexively moved to push away the "mountains" crushing me, and—

"Haaahhmm... Nggghh...?"

Hmm? My head was full of question marks, why did that sound remind me of a movie from my previous life.

A stallion movie I never finished watching!

That sound made my heart stop for a second.

I felt something squirming slowly on top of me, and when my eyes looked down...

Goddess Hestia.

She was hugging me tight with her head buried... uh, I mean my head was buried between her two... sacred mountains.

Her breath was warm against my hair, her face peaceful like a baby who just finished drinking milk.

"Kaen-kun... don't go... keep hugging me..." she mumbled in her sleep, while hugging my head tight.

And my hand? Still faithfully holding... something very soft and squishy.

My face immediately burned up.

In my head, there was a voice screaming: "SO SOFT!"

But of course I couldn't actually scream.

I'd probably get accused of being shameless, or worse, become a headline: "Rookie Adventurer Kicked by Goddess for Being Immoral."

Wait. What the hell was I doing? This was like holding treasure without permission!

Even though... and this is very important, very reluctantly, my common sense managed to beat my primitive instincts.

With super careful movements, I let go of my hand and shifted the goddess's tiny body.

She sighed softly but didn't wake up. Instead she curled up even more like a cat. Her blanket slipped and...

I reflexively turned around at light speed.

Don't look, Kaen! Don't look!

But these eyes have a mind of their own. Just a glance, only a glance.

I saw something that made my face red as a boiled crab. Goddess Hestia was sleeping in a very... non-strategic position. Her clothes had ridden up showing... well, you can imagine.

That innocent face sleeping soundly like she didn't have a care in the world. Like a pig stuffed full after eating corn to its heart's content.

Closing my eyes I fixed goddess Hestia's clothes, while fixing goddess Hestia's clothes I felt tortured.

I was a single donkey in my previous life, who'd never even had a girlfriend, now seeing something I shouldn't be seeing.

Especially since she's a goddess... Obviously can't be compared to human women.

Done fixing goddess Hestia's clothes

I let out a long sigh, trying to calm my heart that was beating like a death metal drummer.

Good thing goddess Hestia didn't wake up. If she found out I'd touched... her precious assets, wouldn't it be better for me to just pack up and reluctantly say goodbye to Orario?

I threw those immoral thoughts far away.

I tried to redirect my thoughts to positive things

Like our conversation last night about dreams, goals, and my intention to become more than just a poor rookie adventurer with nothing.

No cheat.

No special abilities that suddenly appear.

No rich sponsor who's gonna fund my life.

All I have is... determination? Or hard work?

Confused about choosing between the two. Finally I decided: both! Without cheats like typical isekai protagonists, I only have determination and hard work. Well, at least that's more realistic than suddenly becoming overpowered from eating 10,000-year-old ginseng.

But even though I say that, I'm obviously jealous. They get to enjoy their lives happily in another world.

Even though I'm jealous, I'm not that jealous.

However, as long as I'm happy, a little challenge doesn't matter.

I slowly got up, stretching my stiff body while making "crack-crack" sounds from protesting joints.

Then grabbed some water from the corner of the room.

It tasted bland, but refreshing enough.

Taking the beginner equipment I owned, the shabby cloth armor given by the guild that looked like cheap cosplay costume, and simple weapons that were also makeshift.

I took out my beginner sword from its sheath.

No heroic gleam. No mystical aura. Just a regular sword sharp enough to kill goblins.

Yesterday after using it to kill several goblins, the blade was already full of fine scratches that somehow felt beautiful.

But what confused me: this is a double-edged sword, but why is only one side actually sharp?

Seems like the blacksmith was half-hearted when making it. Or maybe he was heartbroken while chasing an order deadline.

After putting the sword back in its sheath, I glanced at the bed. Hestia was still fast asleep in a... creative position. Her legs sprawled like a starfish, hair messy like she'd been hit by a mini tornado, lips slightly open.

One hand was clutching a pillow like it was the most precious pillow ever.

If I didn't have to go to the dungeon, maybe I would've kicked that pillow and taken its place.

But too bad, time is money, and my money was already thin as a bald man's hair.

Even though I got money yesterday, it still wasn't enough to buy new equipment.

Goddess Hestia's innocent face while sleeping, completely defenseless. A goddess who innocently trusted me, a stranger who suddenly showed up asking to join her familia.

I can't disappoint her.

I put half of the valis I earned yesterday on the small table, then wrote a note:

[Going to Dungeon. Don't worry, Goddess. -Kaen]

My handwriting's pretty neat, even though I sometimes get confused about what I write.

Good thing I studied writing diligently back in the village. Would be embarrassing if I could read but not write, like being able to eat but not chew.

After everything was ready, I opened the church door slowly and stepped out. The cold air immediately greeted me making me shiver.

---

On the Way to the Dungeon

Orario's sky was still dark like when I lived in the village.

A few magic lamps glowed on the streets, dim like old stars tired of shining but still forcing themselves to exist.

The streets weren't busy yet. Only the sleep-deprived, the overworked, and the slightly unhinged were out at this hour: an old lady opening a bread shop with shaking hands (maybe from cold, or from age)

a merchant pushing a cart full of fresh vegetables, and some adventurers just back from the dungeon with tired faces and clothes covered in blood.

They glanced briefly at me, then immediately ignored me.

I was too ordinary to attract attention... not cool, not handsome, not mysterious.

Didn't have a face that said "Come and make trouble with me"

Just a rookie adventurer who looked special.

However, there are probably lots of adventurers like me in Orario.

During the journey, I noticed many merchants coming and going from Orario. Some just arrived with caravans, some ready to leave with horses pulling their carts.

Finally answered the question that was bothering me: why do you rarely see horse caravans during the day? Turns out they work at dawn when the streets are empty.

Smart too.

Without realizing it, my footsteps brought me to central Orario.

The Tower of Babel towered arrogantly in the darkness like a giant stick piercing the sky. Or like a giant's middle finger giving a gesture to the gods above.

The dungeon entrance was right below it.

I arrived at that courtyard. Only a handful of adventurers, mostly coming out of the dungeon, not going in. They carried bags of magic stones or wounds covered with bandages. Some were even limping with their friends' help.

A common sight in Orario.

I took a deep breath and slapped my own cheek to get rid of sleepiness.

That slap was loud enough that several adventurers looked over with expressions like: "What's wrong with this guy?"

"Let's go," I whispered to myself. "Time to be poor with style."

Ahem, I mean time to get strong with style.

---

Entering the Dungeon

My footsteps echoed softly as I went down the stairs to the first floor.

Stone walls greeted me with dampness and cold. Light from above disappeared, darkness began to creep in.

The temperature changed drastically. Cold air pierced through, the smell of wet earth mixed with blood and the stench of monsters made my nose protest.

Seriously, do these monsters just shit everywhere?

In the distance I could hear footsteps and weird echoing sounds, like the whispers of ghosts complaining about life.

No natural light. Just dim light from small glowing stones embedded in the ceiling like exhausted stars.

I gripped my sword tightly.

My face started getting serious or at least trying to look serious.

It's hard when your default expression looks like a lost kid at the mall.

No, I'm not a lost kid okay.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness.

First floor. Light blue walls that looked calm, but behind that calmness monsters could appear anytime like electricity bills at the end of the month.

And today, since I came super early, monsters like goblins and kobolds should still be plentiful.

This is why I woke up at dawn before even roosters crowed: the dungeon hasn't been "cleared" by other adventurers yet.

I know without special skills like Bell's that can speed up growth, I can only rely on goblin quantity.

Excelia from one goblin is small, but if there are many it's decent. Like loose change.

One means nothing, but if collected you can buy bread.

This is my brilliant strategy to reach level 2 quickly: come earlier before other adventurers show up.

Maybe my actions could piss off other adventurers. Imagine coming to the dungeon but there are no monsters on floor 1, instant bad mood.

But hey, life's a competition. If you're late that's your own fault. Don't blame people who are more diligent.

With a serious expression (that hopefully doesn't look like constipation), I spotted my first target.

Five. No, six goblins.

They walked in a group like a motorcycle gang, red eyes glowing in the dark, sharp teeth like saws, slimy green skin that was very unappetizing.

Not aware of my presence yet. Good.

My hand gripped the sword tighter. My heart started beating fast, whether from excitement or fear, I wasn't sure.

When fighting these goblins I was very careful since they were grouped together.

Two arms aren't enough to fight twelve arms.

"Let's go," I whispered softly.

"Finish this quick before other adventurers come and realize I already took their share."

With one quick step that hopefully looked heroic, I charged into the darkness.

The goblins looked at me with mysterious smiles that were slightly creepy

Here we go, I thought while raising my sword. Day one will be my first step to dominating floor 1.