Cycles of Entropy

I was Camilla. Or, the best Camilla I could be. Perhaps I was the shadow puppet she created with her brilliant empathy. Just talking about her to someone else was freeing. I had talked about her, of course. To Hadley, and anyone else I had questioned. But I had spoken about a woman I wanted to find. When I spoke with Harrison and the girls I told stories about my sister. I remembered all the little kindnesses of my childhood and, through sharing them, I shared a little of that kindness itself. Because of that I was like a leaf in the wind. No longer held back by the oppressive branches.

Whatever it was, the rest of that day was strange, for me. I wasn't assailed by doubts at every turn. I wasn't worried about my inadequacies. I didn't even fear the pain of death. I was Camilla. The teal sparks skipped excitedly at my feet as I ran through the city. The city which suddenly felt hopeful. No longer was I following them, I knew where they led. I arrived in quiet places. Places where only one or two people would ever be found. A stone fountain watched two lovers, enjoying their final days in quiet. I'd only heard second-hand rumors about the event and the living woman was badly hurt by the time I cast 'Undone' on her suddenly transformed partner.

Her dress was torn and bloody, and scraps of skin hung from her wounded face like badly butchered meat. I couldn't identify all the wounds at a glance, and she didn't look at me. She only looked at the woman she loved, suddenly ashen and still. Dead. It felt like I wasn't there as I began to cast my spell again. The blue aura flowing through my grimoire and dancing across their skin reflected across quiet water. The woman's flesh returned to its home, and the blood on her dress flowed through her veins again. She was healed physically but maintained her cold stare at the corpse in front of her. She was unaware of the teal sparks swirling around her. She was unaware of the warmth they offered as they flowed into me. We never spoke a word to each other.

Part of me stayed with her. Part of me mourned my failure to arrive on time. My inability to heal any harm beneath the surface. Part of me couldn't stand to think of the joy I felt in collecting the sparks as her world collapsed. But I couldn't slow down. Every hour there was another woman like her. Another man. Another child. And I had to be Camilla. I had to be the woman who brought day or I would be no one at all. The sand fell relentlessly through the hourglass and refused to let me linger. And Camilla pushed. She pushed me forward and I helped. I saved lives. I saved bystanders and freed corpses. So Long as I arrived just after they transformed, I could stop them.

It was like dunking my head in ice water every time I found a new victim. I witnessed a life-shattering event, I stopped it, and I moved on. It felt so empty, but the teal sparks were so full. It was a tantalizing torture. Like drinking for hours only to have your thirst quenched in short bursts. It felt like I visited dozens of people by the end of the day, but as I finally returned to Harrison's home, I realized it couldn't have been. I'd helped a single victim, every hour, for a single day. It was a drop in the bucket. I had made so many choices between different rumors, and I'd have to make more the next day. And I'd helped maybe thirteen, fourteen people?

If 'helped' was the right word. It wasn't supposed to feel like this. When I filled my sister's shoes. When I finally stopped acting so pathetic and holding myself back. After talking to Harrison, I had felt so, so alive. I had felt so light. But I'd done something wrong. I'd gone, I'd helped, I'd even been rewarded. I could feel the aura flowing through me like a raging river where it had been a trickle before. It danced beneath my skin, urging me to further action. So why did I still feel so, so miserable? Why did I still feel so empty and hopeless? I had a direction; I even had a guide. But my sister's shoes weren't too big to fill, they were too tight. I had to work harder. I had to be better.

"Are you okay Miss Mars?" Junia asked as I collapsed at the table in Harrison's home.

"I'm alright, Junie," I lied, "I've just had a hard day."

"Why are you so sad? Did something else happen?" She asked, childlike cheer failing to hide a well of dread far too deep for any child to bear. Part of me wanted to completely confide in her, but I couldn't do that.

"I'm always sad," I answered instead. "I'm just a grumpy old lady. You don't have to worry about me. Why don't you take your sister to your room, I want to talk to Harrison about something." She looked at me skeptically.

"Are you sure Miss Mars? Millie and I can help, you know. We want to help," she offered and I smiled.

"I know Junie. And I want your help. But right now... I need a little privacy. Keep your sister safe, alright?" I assured, and she reluctantly nodded. She picked up her sleeping little sister and began to leave, pausing to look over one shoulder at me, then disappearing into the spare room Harrison made up for them.

"So," Harrison finally chimed in, calling to me from the kitchen where he was busy washing dishes. "What did you need to talk to me about?" I folded my hands in front of my face and took a deep breath.

"Tonight... there is going to be an attack," I began and he immediately tensed.

"An attack? On who? By who? How do you know?" He bombarded and I held up a hand.

"It's... hard to describe how I know. But it's going to happen. The Quieted. They are going to come back, and they are going to try to burn... everything here. Your home, and all the homes around us. They'll trap the people inside and throw torches through the windows," I explained and his face turned severe.

"Mars, what did you do? What did you bring here? How could you know this?" He insisted. I couldn't explain it to him. I couldn't face the inevitable look of disbelief and disappointment. Not on his face. But I still had that energy beneath my skin, making up for my inadequacies and keeping me on the path. Keeping me Camilla. So I pushed through.

"Nothing, I don't think. But it's coming nonetheless. But I'm going to protect you. I'm going to stop it. I just need you to protect the girls, and I don't want you to panic. I don't want you to be caught off guard. Will you do that? Protect Junia and Millie?" I begged. He looked at me for a long moment, then put the dish in his hand down and joined me at the table. He gave me a calculating look, trying to read something in my eyes. I don't know if there was anything in there for him to read. But after a long moment, he finally leaned back.

"I don't know how to respond to that, Mars. I just met you. You brought my neighbor's kids to my house this morning. Stopped me while I was headed out to investigate the Quiet. Now you are saying these... corpses are coming back to kill us? You can see how I would be skeptical," he challenged. He was right. But it didn't matter.

"You don't have to trust me. You just have to protect those little girls, and I know that's something you will do," I answered.

"You know that, do you?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I do. I know you are a good man, and I know you will lay down your life before you let harm come to those girls. That's all I'm asking. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong and they are still safe. You will just have stayed up a little too late comforting two children who just lost their mother," I countered, empowered by the teal aura and Camilla's confidence.

He sighed deeply. "And how do you know I'm such a good man?"

"Does it matter?" I pleaded and he rubbed his forehead with one hand.

"You're right. Sorry. You can't just say something like that to me. I guess I can do that. What are you going to do?" He finally asked.

"Right now? I'm going to rest for a couple of hours. Then, I'm going to go out there and stop anyone from touching your home or those girls," I announced with all the confidence I thought Camilla would have. My voice failed to reflect the tone of the words, however, and he visibly winced. So did I. But I knew the girls would be safe, and that's what mattered.

The next couple of hours crawled by. I couldn't help but reflect on the day. It didn't make sense. I felt so... good. And I did good things. Or, I tried, at least. So why did I feel worse and worse as the day went by? I just felt so hollow. Like such a pale imitation of my sister. I wondered if that's all it was. She would have found them more quickly. She would have saved them all. For all I knew, she could have reversed the Quiet. But me? All I could do was damage control. I decided that was the case. I had failed to be Camilla. I had provided half-measures at most and left empty people with the corpses of their loved ones.

I rested my head on my folded arms and sighed. It was no good. I was no good. I had to try harder. Push harder. I had to actually be Camilla. Maybe with enough loops, I could get close to what she would have done the first time around. That was all I could hope for. That with enough time, I could finally be like Camilla. And I could maintain that feeling of hope I'd had when I left that morning. But, as slow as time was marching, a red glow did eventually light the dark dining room. I looked up wearily at Harrison. He was staring out the window with wide eyes.

"The girls, Harrison," I insisted and he jerked.

"Aethon's grace," he murmured, then rushed to the spare room. My legs shook as I stood and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then another, and another. My feet started to move and my body left me behind. I cursed and started to count the green things in the room. But it wasn't enough, I didn't have enough time. My body marched out the door and closed it behind her. She walked across the lot in front of the homes and faced the parade of the dead. So many faces looked back at her, firelight flickering in the red running from their eyes. And she began to cast.

Aura, both blue and teal exploded from her. Sparks flew like fireworks enveloping the angry corpses, but the spell failed to take effect. 'Undone' couldn't help these people, it had been too long. She gritted her teeth and turned back toward Harrisons house, standing just in front of the door. She couldn't stop them, but she could protect as many homes as possible. She began to cast again, enveloping the house and the other houses around her in a bubble of 'Still World'. Not like the usual version which stopped time everywhere. That wouldn't work, it would only delay the inevitable.

Instead, she stopped time in a localized area. You can't walk from flowing time to a world where it doesn't flow. The time barrier would be like a wall of ice to the Quieted. They would have to go around. This would work, with the aid of the teal aura she had been collecting. But she realized with horror that she didn't have enough. The bubble wasn't wide enough. She was too weak. I was too weak. I snapped back into reality and my body was my own again. I saw the blur of the dead as they passed my barrier, but I felt the barrier shrink. More houses were getting excluded. My lungs begged for air. Bright flashes of light assailed the sides of the bubble. I realized with horror these were the homes I'd missed, burning to ash in an instant. It was strange, being the sole thing for which time moved inside my barrier. My perception of events was mixed up.

I wasn't good enough. I needed to breathe. It took an eternity, but finally, the movement outside disappeared. I was over. I let the spell go and the world came back. The smell of ash and meat immediately assaulted me as I gasped for breath. I stumbled forward. I had saved maybe a half dozen homes this time. But it wasn't enough. I made it to the dirt and collapsed to my knees. My lungs burned. I coughed and spit splattered against the dirt.

Then, as I wiped my mouth on one filthy sleeve, the earth opened up beneath me and I was swallowed whole.

End of Day 1