Cycles of Entropy

From Mars' Journal - Aethon's 24th Cycle - Year 387

Camilla is gone, and I don't think she is coming back. Grandma says not to worry. She says she just needs some time to think. She says when things cool off, Camilla will be back, and things can go back to normal. It's a kind lie, but I don't need it. Not after what she did. I don't need her to come back, and I don't want her to come back. I never want to see her face again. There is no chance anyone in this city will forget. Leaving was the best thing she ever did for any of us.

I'm surprised Grandma is even able to talk about her return like it's a good thing. Camilla hurt her worse than anyone. We were a happy family. Grandma was raising both of us as equal apprentices. She poured her heart and soul into us after we lost our parents. We had all lost our entire worlds in an instant, but we pulled together. We stayed together. Until... my sister decided it wasn't enough for her. Our grandmother, one of the most powerful and respected mages in the city, tried to give us a better life than she had.

She worked so hard and gave us so much more energy than a woman her age should have. She was tireless and she adored us. And Camilla still turned her back on us. She betrayed us. Embarrassed us. She lied and she slandered and she hurt. I don't understand why. Why weren't we good enough? Did she really think setting us up like that would be good for her?

Then when things went wrong for her, Grandma still forgave her. Welcomed her back. Even then, she left. In the middle of the night, without a word. I'll probably never understand. Because Camilla is never coming back, and it's better that way. I don't care where she went. It would just hurt to see her again. I can't take any more of that pain. She's not worth the sun in my eyes from looking in her direction. If her back is all she has for us, it's all I have for her.

Day 0 - Aethon's 24th Cycle - Year 398

It was a dreary morning. Tired and already weary with its duties. But it was my last morning of peace. Before I found the first corpse. Before I watched the city die and collapse around me. Before I come face to face with desperation like I had never seen, crying in agony from so many faces. It was the last morning I'd have before the blood, and the tears, and the bodies. I should have appreciated the quiet of the calm it carried on its back. Instead, I examined my reflection in a worn bucket of water. The filthy, unkempt hair. The dark circles under my eyes. The wrinkles of a much older woman adorning my face. Anxiety and misery had painted me with frown lines before I was ever a proper adult, and they had only deepened in the years since. The last year had been even worse.

A full year of wandering from town to town. Doing odd jobs just to survive and pay for my arduous walk to the next village. It felt like it was all for nothing. No one remembered my sister passing through. No one knew who she was or where she went. When I first left, I had hope. Camilla had fiery red hair that was uncommon in our part of the country. She had amazing flora magic. And she still had so much joy left. I liked to think so, anyway. But maybe that was just another lie I told myself. It's been so long now.

I waited to look for her. I waited and waited, and convinced myself there was no point. It was no wonder no one remembered her. A nineteen-year-old redhead that may have passed through ten years ago? It was hopeless. No one remembered her. And if no one remembered my brilliant, energetic sister and her sharp beauty... Well, the mousy, dishwater blonde with the skin of a woman fifteen years her senior? I knew I would be forgotten.

I had mastered magic, with Grandma. Not just any magic either. I was the world's first master time mage. A field of magic no one knew was possible before me. It was everything I had ever dreamed of but... the dream was a fairy tale. There was no glory in it. It never did me any good, not really. I could do impressive things, sure. I could save a dead man if I got there soon enough, a feat that should have put me in history books. It couldn't take me back far enough, however.

I could turn back time on a single person, a little. An hour, maybe. But I couldn't turn back the clock on the world. I couldn't go back and stop Camilla from leaving. I couldn't tell her that... well I couldn't talk to her at all. For all I knew, she was dead and the only thing I would ever find was an unmarked grave and a rumor of a red head that could talk to plants. But she was all I had left. If I never found her, I could never atone. And I would be forgotten. The tired woman who shambled into town for a week and left after faking a few miracles for the money to move on.

They weren't fake. But that was all anyone would ever believe anymore. So I had to find Camilla. I had to find my sister and make things right. Because I couldn't be the great mage of legend and fairy tales. That dream was just a grotesque memory. A lie that would never be true. What I could have, is a family. Someone else in the world that would love me, and I could love. But maybe that was a lie too. Maybe it was too late to have that, even if I found Camilla. Maybe, all I could do was tell her I was sorry. That I was wrong. Maybe the only thing I could contribute to this world was closure for my sister.

It wouldn't be much. It wouldn't be enough. But... it would be something. So I looked at the haggard woman looking back at me from the water. I wondered what would happen if I just dipped my head inside the bucket. If I just slowly lowered it in and left it there. Let the world fade away. The memories and regret could have just... washed away. As I considered it, I realized my head had started to lower and my face was closer to the water. But I shook myself out of it. Camilla deserved better. It wouldn't be much, but if I could find her, she deserved my apology. And whatever else she wanted out of me. And if I didn't, and just spent the rest of my life wandering like this? Well, maybe I deserved worse.

With only a couple of breaths between my face and the peace the water offered, I instead picked up the bucket and doused my fire. I then went about the work of packing up my feeble camp. There was another small town near me. It only had about five hundred residents and it sat by the sea. Beddenmor, it was called. Camilla would have had no reason to go there. But she had gone east, and this was as far east as I could go. If she wasn't there, I would have to move north and start making my way west again.

I sighed as I put my pack on and began the weary trudge to Beddenmor. As I walked I began to pass a few other groups of travelers. For once, they seemed no happier than I did. Each of them passed in the opposite direction and each one looked ill-prepared for a journey. After several hours, I passed a frantic mother, practically dragging five scared children down the road. I stopped and looked at her and she looked at me. We were both exhausted, but her weariness had more life to it.

She was colored with indecision for a moment, then her eyes softened and she spoke to me. "Don't. Don't go there. Please. I don't know why you are traveling to Beddenmor, but you'd be best served by turning around now. You won't find anything worth looking for there," she pled. I examined her for a moment. She looked so sincere... and so sad.

I gave her a weak smile. "Thank you," I replied in a quiet voice. "I appreciate the warning." We stayed there in awkward silence for a moment, until she realized I wasn't going to take her advice. She gave me her own forced smile. We both knew it was a lie, and neither of us really needed to explain why. Then the urgency of her children and her flight from the town forced her to resume her journey. She shook her head and turned her back.

"A few hours down the road, I left a camp with good shelter and a firepit. If you turn right off the road after the tree that looks like a hare, you'll find it," I called after her, and she looked back at me, her smile a little more genuine. Then we parted ways, and I never saw her again. I returned to my journey and eventually arrived at the quiet little fishing town by the sea. There were two guards at the gate, which threw me off a bit. I had been to many towns like this, and they rarely felt the need for a single guard.

As I approached one of them stopped me. "What's you're business here, ma'am?" she asked.

"I'm looking for someone," I answered, only to be met with a scoff.

"Well you ain't gonna find them here, I promise you that," she replied with a hollow laugh. "What's your name?"

Just as I was going to answer the other guard smacked a fly against his leather armor, making me jump. I looked at him awkwardly for a moment before returning my attention to the guard in front of me. "Mars," I answered and she held her hand out to accept my papers.

Before I could offer them, the male guard spoke up. "What does it fucking matter, Sabina?" he growled, "nothing matters. We're all in Luna's hands now. Just let her in." Sabina, the woman on guard, tsked him off and accepted the papers. She gave them a cursory glance before returning them.

"There's only one inn in town. Walk north once you reach the main square, and you can't miss it. I doubt it'll cost you much. And don't worry about that idiot. Aethon's eyes are still on this city. All the panic's over nothin'. Enjoy your visit," she explained before apparently forgetting I existed and looking away from me.

"Um, I don't suppose you have seen-" I began awkwardly before she cut me off.

"We haven't seen your friend. Move along now, we are busy today," she dismissed and I lowered my head, chastised.

"S-sorry," I replied before heading into town to look for the inn she mentioned. The inside of the city wasn't so bad, and I wondered if Sabina had been right. Children played happily in the streets. Vendors peddled their goods. It was just like any other little city I had been to. Except... something wasn't right. An empty stall no one wanted to look at. Conversations that ended too abruptly when certain names were mentioned. There were too many people in too many quiet corners.

At a glance, it felt normal. But when I looked closer in any direction, it was more like a wake. It sent chills down my spine just to think about it. Eventually, I found the inn in question. It wasn't nice, but it wasn't the worst I had seen. When I walked in, I was a little taken aback by the atmosphere. People laughed and joked like entire families weren't so afraid of... something they abandoned their homes and fled the town. People were drunk, barely passed midday.

This city was wrong. Something told me to get out of the city as fast as I could but... I hadn't even asked anyone about Camilla yet. I walked up to the bar and took a seat.

"What'll it be," the bartender asked, not looking up from the counter she was cleaning.

"If there's a room available, I'd like one," I responded and she laughed at me.

"Didn't think we'd be getting any visitors, yeah there's a room available. Take your pick. They are all available," she offered, shaking her head as she scrubbed.

"O-oh, alright," I answered. "How much for a week?"

"Rooms free. Like I said, no one else is using them. Pay for your meals and drinks, clean up after yourself and we're square," she offered and I just looked at her.

"What's going on here?" I finally asked and she snorted.

"Well, that explains that," she chuckled. "No one wants to talk about it, I suppose it's no surprise no one explained it to you."

"Explained what?" I dug, hoping she would get to the point.

"The thing killing this town, or so some people say. It's all bullshit if you ask me. A mystery that explains itself. People running from their own damn shadows," she answers before finally looking up at me.

"What is? I don't understand," I ask again.

She only responds with two words. "The Quiet."