NOVEL WEB Chapter 91 - Loneliness
Only now in the elderly monster’s grip do I notice a change in the atmosphere around the square due to the arrival of a new group. Every main road and rooftop is filled with fighters armed to the teeth carrying familiar banners depicting a devastating fist.
“Sir, what are you doing here?” I ask, not baffled enough to forget my manners but my priorities might not be straight.
With such overwhelming force now present both the guard and thugs back down, shrinking back in fear in the circle of the army without a state.
“Turan is a little stretched thin this time of the year with so many of its troops on leave. Some just go home to their families for some peace but many are angry and desperate to provide for their families while they’re around. The country had some trouble south, mostly crime and a minor rebellion.” He explains, lets go of me, and turns to observe the situation with his hand behind his back. “Then there was a reported goblin village we failed to locate and an uptick in crime rate. Solermo is one of our stops on our snaking journey north, reportedly having some fiend issue.” His amused gaze turns to me before quickly checking on Val. “A friend?”
“Yes sir, we- what now?” I remember my training and focus on our predicament at hand.
“Brief me!” A clear and simple order, demanding a short and precise explanation. “And someone get me a healer!”
“A typical gang war sir, if a little bigger than usual due to the crime rate in the city.” Now is the time to start pointing fingers. “Corruption is rampant and when we stopped by in an emergency to heal, a local gang boss gained some leverage on us a few months ago.”
The commander's expression darkens but after a few seconds, he nods for me to continue. “We were tasked with a few smaller operations and prepared our escape for tonight but things got out of hand. They discovered my… nature, and hers.” I incline my head towards Val, knowing full well the man can see it even with his back turned to me.
“Release me!” The guard captain, the embodiment of the local law and order, demands as my and more importantly Ehrhardt’s attention turns to him and his pal. “You were hired to assist us, not chat with the Fiend!”
That much is true but the interpretation of a contract is always up to the Fist as long as they don’t overstep their boundaries too bad. Corruption after all is part of the cleanup they came to execute.
Objectively speaking I am part of the problem the mercenaries were hired to erradicate but I’m not the slightest bit worried about being on their wrong side. I’m far too valuable and I’m not the only one aware of that fact.
“These two?” The man with all the power in his grip ignores the barking dog and asks me instead.
“A second in command of sorts and the other is the local guard captain in cahoots with the same gang.” I answer, flashing a mocking grin at the two men in question.
“Is that so?” Ehrhardt humms waving for two of his aides to approach. Adies as in highly deadly fighters capable of wiping out everyone in the encirclement in less than a minute. “Where might we find the sources of the problem?”
“One in the southeast end of the pleasure district in a place called the Spiced Tongue, the other near the stables or an underground casino on the outskirts of the slums by the wall.” I snitch like never before.
As a kid I always avoided telling on anyone to Mom and Dad, instead dealing with my problems myself but I gotta say… this indirect power does feel nice.
“Alfred, visit those places and be fast.” The mage on standby nods and starts organizing the raid groups. “Helena!” The commander barks and the woman carrying a rapier steps forth. “Escort these two criminals into detention, I’ll deal with them later.”
I follow the wizened gray eyes to meet a man, chubby and trembling in fear marching out of the governmental building with two honor guards in tow. The man of the people, the hero arriving late as usual… I don’t envy the commander. Dealing with people in high positions is known to be a pain in the ass.
“One more thing lassie,” Ehrhardt’s voice stops us just as the pretty lady is about to guide Val and me away. His eyes don’t meet mine but the silence tells me this question won’t be a casual one. “Did you kill anyone?”
I instinctively reach for Valka’s hand and grab it as tightly as my Might allows it.
This was a question I hoped never to find out the answer to. I never stopped to check on anyone. I didn’t have the time or concern to care about them while fighting ten others…
There’s no way for me to know…
But deep down I already have the answer.
[Your group has triumphed over the enemy [Alley Raider - Dark lvl 113] - [Dutifull Debt Collector - Metal lvl 57].]
[You have triumphed over the enemy [Silent Mist Hunter - Water lvl 122] - [Novice Carpenter - Nature lvl 57].]
[You have triumphed over the-
ENOUGH! Please.
I just took one glance and the list and the list was far too long. Some people I might’ve just scratched and received a bit of contribution upon their death but… Nobody had to die, it was so meaningless. And the number of Classes I saw that had nothing to do with fighting or any of this gangster business…
My silence turns out to be all the answers the seasoned commander needs as he sighs. “I’m sorry kid, this will complicate things but I’ll take care of everything. That’s the least I can do after we failed you.”
I really, really want to go home now.
Elyssia
Age: 12
Celestial Elf
Mana: 3241/8410
Free Points: 42
+990/hour (-291)
Might: 7
Intelligence: 914
Mana: 481
Speed: 341
Focus: 1002(+237)
Willpower: 990
Endurance: 210
Dexterity: 90
Fortitude: 140
General Skills:
Savant lvl 79
Identify lvl 88
Dodging lvl 92
Pain Tolerance lvl 46
Premonition lvl 95
Survival lvl 64
Maintained Magic lvl 78
Serne Spellcrafting lvl 81
Martial Instinct lvl 66
I. Class: Nature’s Partner in the Dance - Arcane 108
Arcane Mastery lvl 93
Action for Reaction lvl 87
Mana Perception lvl 91
Arcane Focus lvl 82
Ethereal Stage lvl 63
Rhythmic Strides lvl 57
II. Class: Shadow Rat - Dark lvl 16
Sneaky Sneaky lvl 16
In Shadows’ Embrace lvl 12
Inconspicuous lvl 16
Whiskerblade lvl 4
Blacktail lvl 7
III. Class: *Locked*
[Congratulations, you’ve unlocked the Class Skill [Death’s Dance lvl 1]. Would you like to assign the skill to an empty slot?]
“Be gone!” I whisper with my lips trembling.
Twelve levels… Just tonight alone I gained twelve levels but somehow I just can’t find any fucks to give.
Did I kill anyone? No, I fucking massacred them. I’m a murderer and not the accidental, innocent type. I knew full well, all along that my action might very well end in Malor reaping some soul and I was able to accept that.
Or at least that’s what I thought.
I’d fucking do it again if I had to but right now… I don’t know. First, something to eat. And a big hug.
I can’t even explain why I feel the way I do. Or what this stinging pain is, wreaking havoc in my chest. I shouldn’t feel guilty, that just doesn’t make sense, and everything should be okay going forward.
“Let’s just go home.” I mutter, weakly trailing after Valka.
“The journey back to Granhall should take about a week or two but you can just lie back and let us take care of it.” The captain, judging by her uniform, swiftly leads us down the streets avoiding any of the remaining hotspots. “I’m glad to have you back kiddo. When the news of the ambush reached back home the place was up in arms ready to topple the whole damn country, hehehe. We don’t like anyone messing with our cubs.”
The mood swings Helena displays from sentence to sentence, going from happy to threatening, to merry again only to turn murderous… it’s entertaining enough. I can’t really value it all too much at the moment but she must be fun to be around.
“You see, the Academy came begging-” She draws her weapon out of the blue and thrusts it towards an unassuming alley.
From the tip of the weapon a jet of flame so condensed that it’s closer to a light beam shoots out, through the corner of the building, boxes, and lastly a person. The bow in the woman’s hand falls to the ground as she falls to her knees before combusting and burning to ashes in seconds.
“Damn rat. As I was saying the Academy…” But I don’t hear a word she says.
Her eyes were on me. That arrow was meant for me… I could tell. Even at the last second as her body was being incinerated…
She tried to take revenge.
Did I kill her husband or maybe her child? I can’t even tell, there were too many, I- I can’t even remember their face. Nobody was forced to fight me, if anything I was ready to just walk away without as much as touching any of them. Her hate and anger… it’s not my fault.
Suddenly I feel my stomach churn and bile gather in my mouth as I picture everyone I striped of their loved ones staring at me. The guilt I know shouldn’t be there is just overwhelming.
“Oh shit.” The lady in red and gray is much quicker than Valka in catching me the moment I start to feel like vomiting my guts out. “It’s okay, it happens to all of us.” She gently pats my back.
No, I really doubt going through what I did in the past hour is all that common.
“What’s wrong?” Valka’s quick to join but more hands are not what I need right now.
“Guilt.” Helena gives a short and precise answer. “Drink this!” She shoves a small waterskin into my hand.
“I don’t want to-”
“Just do it, I’m older than I look.” All the convincing I need to hear really. I’d take anything right now.
Uncorking the container I take a whiff and quickly identify the liquid inside.
“It’s wine.” I hand it back because alcohol tastes like shit.
“Look, healing the soul is one of the most difficult things and this can lessen the pain if only temporarily. It’s stupid, and not the solution,” Well, clearly. “but right now you need rest and some peace. Just close your eyes and chug, it’s a great vintage.”
I don’t even feel like being stubborn anymore. So I down the thing. Okay, not all of it but I keep drinking until it feels like the stuff is boiling in my stomach.
What a stupid plan this is anyway, intoxicating a kid to make her forget about her problems temporarily and maybe even develop an addiction… If only I didn’t hate its taste this much it might even work.
I really hope this woman doesn’t have any kids.
“You’ll feel better soon but in my experience talking about it and crying, a lot, helps the most.” She nods as I start to feel lightheaded yet somewhat better. “My first kill wasn’t all that bad, the bitch tried to kill my dog when I lived on the streets… I always hated her smug face.”
Not helping, not even a tiny bit.
In the following minutes, we continued our leisurely walk through the streets, right towards the gate we’d arrived through without any more disturbances. My mood improves, somewhat, and dumb ideas appear one after another out of nowhere, one more embarrassing than the other. Even walking turns into a chore but it really is much better than turning into a ball of self-pity and sadness.
“Uhm can we stop by somewhere?” Valka’s timid display leaves me a little baffled but considering who or rather what she’s dealing with it’s understandable.
I didn’t hold back when traveling with the old fart though… Ah, the good days.
“Sure, speak. We have plenty of time and I doubt anyone around could make me regret this decision. Bar the geezer one and two.” Helena adds the last part with a frown.
I know how she feels, I do. Both Bennett and Martha deserve plenty of ass-handing for all the tricks and jokes they played on me but that won’t come any time soon.
Instead of blurting out her answer straight away Valka grabs my hand and pulls me to a halt. “Eli, you’re safe now, I think. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do much if these people attempted to hurt you.” I see a small nod from a certain childish adult waiting for us. “I’d like to visit an Artisan nearby to remove my collar, I think it’s time to-”
“NO!” I knew the moment the first words left her mouth where this was going.
“Don’t act like a child.” She gently puts a hand on my shoulder. “Although you were always this selfish.”
“And you were always stupid, an idiot I have to save over and over because-”
“Eli! I have a promise to keep and so do you!”
That’s right… I promised I’d set her free once I got to safety and now it’s time to hold myself to my word.
“But you can’t do it.” I mutter, unwilling but ready to do what I must.
“What?”
“Was our stop here not proof enough?” I ask, chuckling almost at how ridiculous her thinking is. “You want to do what exactly, huh? Steal your people back? Murder their owners? Maybe buy them back?” I stare into her eyes. “Then what? No, what a stupid question that is, you won’t ever reach that stage alive, so why even think about it in the-”
A gentle slap interrupts my rambling. I still feel like my face is about to fall off but that’s gentle by Valka standards.
“So what?” She pushes me away.
Helena finally feels uncomfortable enough to chime in. “I think I’ll just wait-”
“Leave!” I snap. “So what’s the big idea, huh? Are you just gonna run out there and bash faces as you always do? You don’t even know where they are right now.” My words come out a little slurred but the meaning gets through if Valka’s ever angrier expression means something.
“But I can’t just sit here!” Her raised voice echoes between the buildings. “And you can’t make me stay.”
“You think so?” I slowly reach into my trusty bag and pull out something I haven’t touched in a while.
Valka’s contract.
She immediately lunges at me, grabs me by the throat, and lifts me off the ground. “This is not funny. I knew you were a selfish elf, just like the rest but this has to stop. I know you wouldn’t do it.”
“You think I wouldn’t break my word to save your sorry ass?” I croak. Her grip is gentle enough not to choke me but there’s enough power in those fingers to kill me in seconds. “Save you from your own idiocy?”
“Then what am I supposed to do?” She hisses, tears already gathering in the corners of her eyes. “They are suffering, maybe even dying out there waiting for me to come for them. I must go-”
I return the slap with full force. Strong enough to make my palm sting.
“Have some faith in your people.” I say after a short silence. “You survived. How arrogant do you have to be to think you are the only one capable enough?”
I grab her arm holding me up and pull myself closer, looking straight into her eyes.
“You cannot do it. Not right now as you are.” I voice the cruel truth. “I will not let you die a moronic death. I’d rather have you hate me but be alive than let you walk into your own grave.”
Valka finally collapses on her knees and starts wailing like a child.
“I have nothing else. I am alone, so alone. How- what should I do?” Even with the alcohol, seeing her like this breaks my heart a little.
I had my idea of how much pain she carries. How much suffering and loneliness are hidden behind the shell of an indomitable warrior, behind the mask of toughness and confidence...
I only scratched the surface.
It also feels right to see her break down like this. A heart can hold only so much pain before turning inside out. Let her cry, let her speak, let her be weak for a moment.
“You are not alone.” I sit down and give her a hug both of us need desperately. “ I’m a selfish elf you know, I want everything for myself.” I speak tenderly and feel her heartbeat slow a little. “If you stay, Valka, if you accompany me until we’re ready I will… no, I swear I’ll help you keep your word.” I say this in a much firmer albeit slightly crying tone.
Not that my word is worth as much after somewhat breaking it just now.
She keeps promises in high regard. Well, so do I but there are more important things than my pride. Valka is like a sister to me. A sister in dire need of help and a sister I will not let go of. She should’ve just asked me and I would’ve done anything in my power to help. I’m selfish and now I’m emotional, giving stupid promises…
“No, I can’t ask for more…” Valka mutters. “Please, just let me-”
“It was not an offer. I propose a deal.” I pull away and hold her shoulders. “Are you willing to come with me?” I ask in the most official way a nasal tone and puffy-eyed person can manage. “In exchange when the time is right, we, together, will search Eborden far and wide. How does that sound?”
She stares at me for a few seconds, her jaw clenching and unclenching and tears falling without an end in sight. “It sounds stupid.” She hugs me again.
We stay like that for a while in the middle of the street. Wounded, shaken, and with more problems on our shoulders than one heart can carry.
“I really hate you sometimes you know?” She finally whispers into my hair.
“The feeling is mutual.” I giggle.