Crimson Instinct

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*Xin Lei*

"Ugh…"

What is this breathlessness I am feeling?

"Xin Lei! Don't think about me and leave!"

Bai Li? It's his voice…

"I will come back. Just leave!"

N-No...I will leave you. 

Why was I back to the school? Weren't we all outside? What is happening…?

"Take Xin Lei away!"

No! Don't force me to leave you, Bai Li. I want to stay with you.

*BOOOOM*

"Noooo!"

I suddenly got up.

I was panting. My breaths were a mess. I tremblingly touched my forehead. It was all wet with sweat. I stared at my palms, and they were shivering.

What is happening?

I slowly looked down at myself.

Huh? This white robe...why am I wearing a patient's gown?

Gasping for breath, I slowly looked around.

Hospital...How am I here?

I heard the door open. A woman wearing a nurse's uniform came inside. She seemed to look at me in surprise.

"Doctor! Miss Xin is awake."

She came to my side. "Miss Xin. When did you wake up?"

She gently held my shoulders. "You shouldn't sit straight like this. You are still weak. Please lay down."

Huh? I...I…

A middle-aged man in his doctor's robe entered. He smiled. "Miss Xin. I am Dr. Kim, in charge of your case. I am glad that you have regained your consciousness."

I was still confused. I raised my hands and signed. 'How am I here?'

Dr. Kim asked, "Miss Xin, you don't remember what happened?"

What happened?

I tried to recall, and flashes of memories came to my dizzy mind.

I was in the building. I fought those men, and then Bai Li came...Then...we killed Fu Meili's killer and then Zhang Ning.

And then…

I slowly widened my eyes.

Bomb. She had planted a bomb to go off in three minutes. We ran and ran and then Bai Li just…suddenly pushed me away.

I felt my body turning pale.

The man...what was his name?

Ah yes, Yusheng. He lifted me and ran, and then the building exploded.

After that...what happened after that?

Bai Li...Bai Li! He was still inside!

I got up again.

"Miss Xin. Please calm down."

I glared at them and shook my head.

How can I calm down?

What happened to Bai Li? Where is he!? Did he come out? Was he able to escape? 

My heart was loudly pounding in my chest. I felt my cheeks turning wet as I struggled to get off. The nurse didn't let me go.

Dr. Kim said, "Miss Xin. Please calm down. I know you have lots of questions in your mind, and I will answer all of them. First, you need to take it easy. You are still weak."

I slowly looked up at him and signed.

'You know about Bai Li?'

He nodded.

I bit my lip and stopped resisting.

"Good. I will tell you everything slowly and in sequence. First, you are in the hospital because you fainted due to extreme stress. The IB and Army brought you here."

I see... Zhang Xiulan and Yusheng would have taken me to them.

I slowly nodded.

He continued. "The man and the woman with whom you escaped are also doing okay. They are waiting outside your ward with your father and brother."

Dad, big brother…They must be so worried.

"Can I continue?"

I nodded.

Then he looked at me with a strange seriousness that I didn't understand.

"Miss Xin. When I asked whether you remember what happened or not, I meant by about your voice."

I furrowed my brows.

My voice?

I touched my throat.

Now that I think about it, my throat is indeed hurting a little.

"You must have realized that it's painful. Miss Xin. Don't you remember that you spoke for the first time in your life when you escaped that building?"

I froze and looked at them, shocked.

I spoke? What are they talking about? It's impossible!

But the doctor wasn't refuting. 

"It's true. I was surprised to see you using sign language just now. Perhaps it was out of habit, but I guess that you didn't remember that you talked. You screamed Bai Li's name and asked them to help him. Miss Zhang and Mr. Zhu, who were with you, heard it themselves."

T-that's…

I slowly touched along my throat.

He continued. "You suddenly screamed, so the nerves in your throat got strained, and that's why your throat feels painful to you."

I-I talked? But I cannot remember...

"Maybe your memories are still jumbled up a bit because of your dizziness but don't worry. It will eventually come to you."

I was in a daze.

I spoke?

Dr. Kim put his stethoscope on. "Miss Xin. As a part of your checkup, I have to ask you to try to talk. Just a little bit. Don't force yourself and slowly talk at your own pace."

I clutched the sheets in my fists.

T-talk? Without using a phone? Without using any signs, he is asking me to talk?

Why am I feeling so anxious?

He smiled. "Miss Xin. Don't be nervous; rest assured. I am here. It's not dangerous."

I slowly nodded.

"Good. For starters, say your name."

I swallowed my saliva and gulped.

"X...Xi…"

My throat was slightly stinging as I was trying to speak.

But more than the pain, I was in disbelief.

My voice...it was actually coming out. 

"Slowly. There is no hurry," Dr. Kim said.

"Xi...Xin…"

My heart raced. I felt my body tremble.

I-I was talking. I was really talking…

"Xi...Xin...Le...Lei…"

"Xin...Lei…"

Dr. Kim brightly smiled. "That's it. You said your name. Congratulations."

I felt exhausted. I just uttered two words, and I felt dead tired.

"How do you feel now?"

"T-ti...tired…"

"It's understandable. But when your throat heals, it will be much easier to speak. We will take it step by step."

My eyes teared up.

I was so happy. I got my voice. Never did I imagine that I will be able to speak one day. 

But I did today...I am talking right now because Bai Li gave me that push.

Bai Li…

I looked at the doctor in panic. "B-Bai...Li...where...is he…?"

Dr. Kim's expression turned serious. "Bai Li, he…"