Crazy Britain:They’re All Raising Me

"Surrender, you little thieves."

Looking at Artoria and Bawanxi, whose expressions were becoming increasingly grim, Noknare crossed her arms lazily and said:

"Did you two really think you could just stroll into my Edinburgh and steal my vanguard officer right under my nose without a care in the world?"

"...Tch."

At those words, Artoria clicked her tongue in annoyance.

In her original plan, being discovered by Noknare before they could withdraw from Edinburgh was already the worst-case scenario.

But what could be worse than that? Being caught red-handed by Noknare and blocked inside the city before they even had a chance to retreat.

In other words, this situation couldn't get any worse.

And the root cause of all this? Simply Bawanxi's lack of trust in her.

After shooting Bawanxi a venomous glare, Artoria, seeing no better options, began to adopt a more reckless attitude.

Facing Noknare's accusations, she immediately fired back:

"Thieves? You've got a lot of nerve calling us that! You're the bandit who literally abducted a civilian man—how do you even have the face to say that?!"

"Exactly!" Bawanxi echoed without hesitation. "We're just taking back what's rightfully ours! How is that stealing?!"

At this point, with Noknare standing in their way, Bawanxi could no longer afford to argue with Artoria. No matter what, Noknare was the real mutual threat.

After all, if Artoria stole Guinevere, she could at least get a glimpse of him from afar. But if Noknare took him away... let's just say, if Artoria got to eat meat, Bawanxi might not get the meat or the broth, but at least she could smell it. With Noknare? She wouldn't even get a whiff.

"Heh, you two sure know how to talk," Noknare chuckled, especially at Bawanxi's comment.

—Clearly, these two had no idea that those inside a Pal Ball could see and hear the outside world.

Well, it wasn't surprising. Even with so many fairy workers operating nonstop in Edinburgh, the number of fully functioning Pal Ball production lines was still in the single digits. And Artoria? Working solo, it was already a miracle she could even make one. How could she possibly have the time to go out capturing creatures and learning all these little details?

Even Noknare had only discovered it accidentally—when she once missed her target and accidentally hit Aiken, who was distracting a monster. It was from Aiken, after being released, that she learned those inside the ball could observe the outside world. So how would Artoria and Bawanxi know?

The louder the two argued, the more Noknare was entertained.

She could just imagine the expression of utter disappointment on Guinevere's face as he watched this farce unfold from inside the ball.

Sometimes, you didn't need to work hard to win. You just had to wait for your opponents to implode.

Suppressing the urge to burst into laughter, Noknare sneered and said:

"Even I didn't claim Guinevere as my possession. I've only ever considered him a vanguard officer under my protection. But you two? You talk about him like he's just an object."

Unbothered by the sarcasm in her tone, Artoria immediately shot back:

"Spare me the high horse, Noknare! We've known each other long enough—don't act like you're any different from us. I know exactly what goes on in that scheming little mind of yours!"

At those words, Noknare's expression changed.

...............

—Wait, what?

Meanwhile, Guinevere, who had been lying down inside the ball in full resignation, suddenly perked up.

Were they seriously drifting into that kind of conversation?

What did Artoria just say about Noknare? "Birds of a feather"? Was that how that phrase worked?

No, was Artoria just being sloppy with her words, or... did Noknare actually have a thing for him too?

At that thought, Guinevere's face twisted into a look of sheer disbelief.

No way. No. Come on, seriously?

Noknare, interested in him?

If that were true, Guinevere was done for.

What the hell was happening?

He barely even interacted with Noknare before. Even in the simulator, they'd only had limited and certainly not positive encounters.

So what could she possibly see in him? His unshowered scent? His youth?

What else could it be?

Was he seriously turning into some kind of irresistible British incubus? But his name wasn't Fujimaru Will!

Guinevere was completely lost.

Not excited—confused. Maybe even a little terrified.

Because frankly, right now, romance was the last thing on his mind.

Not due to some contrived literary trope where he lost interest in women—he was still straight. It was just... now wasn't the time.

Lancelot and Woodworth's coalition forces were still looming. If he wanted to fight them off—or just survive—he needed to get stronger.

He didn't even have basic survival locked down. Romance? Who had time for that?

If he weren't trapped in the Pal Ball, even in death, buried and nailed shut in a coffin, he'd still scream out:

No! You crazy women, back off!

What are you even thinking? This is not the time for romance!

Come on! I just want to fight!

—Thankfully, Noknare didn't let him down.

"Wh-What?! There's no way I'm anything like you, Artoria!"

Having her hidden thoughts exposed in front of her entire team, Noknare's face turned bright red, her slender neck tinged with a blush of embarrassment and irritation.

Without even thinking, she snapped:

"I—I'm not like you! Have you forgotten? My goal, the only thing I care about, is unifying Britain and becoming its next queen! Until I achieve that, I'm not interested in any man!"

And perhaps to mask her flustered outburst, Noknare quickly raised her hand:

"Enough talk! My soldiers, charge! Retrieve your comrade!"

And just like that, their heated conversation ended, and the love triangle turned turf war exploded into full-blown violence.

—As for whether Noknare's declaration held any truth, or if it was just an impulsive denial... not even Noknare herself could tell. Only Artoria, with her Fairy Eyes, might be able to decipher a sliver of it.

But none of that mattered anymore.

What mattered was that Guinevere believed her—and he let out a long sigh of relief.

[Centered around you, the conflict between Artoria, Bawanxi, and Noknare finally erupts into a fierce battle.]

[Although Artoria doesn't want to release you from the Pal Ball, during the chaos, it is knocked from her grasp, allowing you to be released.]

"This... there's no other way." Artoria looked at Guinevere and quickly turned her head away, unable to meet his gaze. She said simply:

"Guinevere, I order you to knock them all out and get us out of here!"

Under her command, Guinevere's body moved involuntarily... but just as he began to act, a red Pal Ball smashed into his head, and he was once again swallowed by that familiar light.

Noknare had been waiting for this moment. The instant Guinevere appeared, she threw her prepared Pal Ball.

"What's going on?" Artoria widened her eyes in shock. "He's already been captured—how can someone else use a Pal Ball on him again?"

"Oh? So you didn't know?" Noknare smiled. "Why do you think I went through all this trouble to corner you here?"

Just then, Bawanxi, watching it all unfold, suddenly clutched her head and squatted down in regret.

—If she had known, there was no need to argue with Artoria. As long as Artoria dared release Guinevere, she'd always have a shot to capture him!

Unfortunately, the red Pal Ball only spun in the air a few times before exploding, dropping Guinevere back to the ground.

Clearly, in terms of luck, Noknare couldn't compare to the "One-Ball Wonder" Artoria.

But that didn't matter.

Noknare might have rotten luck—but she had quantity.

As soon as Guinevere hit the ground, another Pal Ball flew from Noknare's hand, capturing him again. And even after that one failed, yet another followed. Guinevere didn't even have time to speak before he was repeatedly recaptured by Noknare's seemingly endless supply of red Pal Balls.

She even tried to do the same to Artoria, but when a 0.00% success rate popped up as soon as the Pal Ball locked on, she gave up and instead ordered her subordinates to restrain them.

—Most likely, the Pal Balls they used weren't high-grade enough. Even if they managed to weaken a powerful person, capturing a major fairy with stronger magical resistance seemed to require an even higher-level Pal Ball.

But that didn't matter either.

Finally, after Noknare had thrown a total of 318 Pal Balls, control of Guinevere transferred to her.

When Guinevere was finally released from the ball, he immediately collapsed to the ground and began to vomit.