Crazy Britain:They’re All Raising Me

"Oh? Ahahahaha? Don't tell me you're actually mad that I killed the old man?"

Flipping back to his feet with the ease of an acrobat, the clown-dressed Mephistopheles burst into wild laughter:

"Well, it couldn't be helped! He flat-out refused to join our little scheme, so I had no choice but to politely send him off to the afterlife! Such a shame, truly! A real tragedy!"

"Though… whether or not it was me who actually killed him, well, that's up for debate, don't you think?!"

As he spoke, Mephistopheles contorted his face—caked in white powder—into exaggerated, clownish expressions, laughing all the while:

"After all, he blew up from the inside!"

But Will didn't even bother reacting to the clown's ridiculous antics. Instead, he turned his head slightly, glancing back at Ritsuka Fujimaru and Mash to check their status.

"You two idiots still in one piece?"

"Yes! Thanks to Mr. Hyde's quick reflexes, neither Senpai nor I were seriously injured!" Mash responded at once.

"Good. In that case, you—the little baggage—protect the bigger baggage. I'll handle this guy."

With that brief order, Will shifted his full attention back to Mephistopheles.

"Oh dear, how rude," Mephistopheles shook his head with exaggerated disappointment. "Here I am pouring my heart out, and you won't even give me the courtesy of listening? Isn't that just heartbreaking? I put on such a splendid performance, and you don't even applaud?"

But Will clearly wasn't in the mood to entertain him. He bent his knees slightly, muscles coiling with tension. Then—

Boom!

The floor beneath his feet caved in with a muffled thud.

In the next instant, Will's figure vanished and reappeared right in front of Mephistopheles.

"So fast—?!"

That was all Mephistopheles had time to say before Will's fist smashed into the center of his nose.

His once somewhat-decent face caved in immediately from the force, and his entire body spun like a top, spiraling backward at high speed.

Will lunged to follow up the attack, but something hard crunched beneath his foot—at the same time, the unmistakable ticking sound surrounded him again, just like before the centipede bomb exploded on Ritsuka.

Realizing what was coming, Will's pupils shrank.

The next moment, a flood of brilliant blue magical fire erupted from all directions, engulfing him instantly.

"Eeehahahaha—so reckless! So impulsive!"

Mephistopheles, still clutching his bloodied, broken nose, scrambled upright. Even with his face a mess, he burst into laughter again:

"Did you think I'd just let you walk up and kill me like that? This is a Servant battle, darling! You really think I'd show up without laying out a few dozen bombs beforehand—"

But as he looked up, his laughter abruptly stopped.

Because in that moment, a fist filled his entire vision.

BAM!

Will's punch slammed straight into his face again, driving him back into the floor. Cracks spread out like spiderwebs beneath him.

"You're too slow. What makes you think bombs that move that sluggishly can catch up to me?"

Without waiting for an answer, Will raised his other hand and hammered another punch down, slamming Mephistopheles's head into the ground with sickening force, turning his face into a bloody pulp.

But even as that happened, Mephistopheles suddenly raised a hand and grabbed Will's lower leg. At the same time, he began chanting the lines of a Noble Phantasm:

"Ahahaha! Bombs—armed and ready!"

What?

Will froze for an instant.

He was sure he'd smashed Mephistopheles's mouth to bits—so how was he still speaking?

But there was no time to ponder that now. The chant was already complete:

"Dormant Bomb — Ticktock Bomb!"

Will heard a sharp buzzing, like insect wings, mixed with the ticking of a stopwatch. He looked down and saw it—

A red, clockwork centipede with a shimmering, iridescent carapace had already crawled up his leg from Mephistopheles's arm.

And it exploded.

All the force and fire from the blast were focused solely on Will, deliberately directed by Mephistopheles's hand.

"Ahahahaha! How's that?!"

Mephistopheles howled with laughter once more—only for the laughter to abruptly cut off, like a duck being strangled.

Because from within the flames, a hand reached out and grabbed him by the throat.

Staring into Mephistopheles's wide, panicked eyes, Will spoke coldly:

"Stat check, kid."

Then, before Mephistopheles could struggle, Will raised his sword and swung down.

Clean decapitation.

"Talks too much."

With the same indifference as squashing a bug, Will stomped down on Mephistopheles's severed head, crushing it into mush, and muttered:

"You call this a thrilling Servant battle? Aren't you overestimating yourself a bit?"

He sheathed his sword and turned back toward Ritsuka and Mash.

"All right, you two can relax now. The enemy's been handled—"

But before he could finish the sentence, he noticed something odd.

After briefly showing relief and joy, both Ritsuka and Mash suddenly looked horrified, as if they had just witnessed something truly nightmarish.

Those weren't "the fight is over" expressions.

Even before Ritsuka could cry out a warning, Will had already spun around and reached for his sword.

And then he saw it.

The headless corpse of Mephistopheles was rising from the ground, contorted like some insectoid nightmare. From the stump of its neck, a clockwork centipede slowly extended outward, twisting and writhing.

"What the hell…?"

Will's eyes widened.

It was like seeing that damned ape boss in Sekiro stand up and come at you after you thought you won.

"Eeehahahaha! Did I scare you?!"

Mephistopheles's awful laughter echoed once more.

At the tip of the centipede sprouting from his neck was a white mask, about the size of a palm—bearing an uncanny resemblance to the face Will had just stomped into paste.

Embedded in the forehead of the mask was a blood-red orb, pulsing with eerie light.

Just then, a system message flickered across Will's vision:

Special Hunt Quest Triggered: Nightmare Incarnation III – Disciple of Eternal Life in the Land of the Dead

In this dream version of London, now a temporary sacrificial ground, you've encountered one of the Nightmare Incarnations: Mephistopheles's dream-spawned form. Though he never appeared in the main production, as a claw of the mastermind, his extermination is equally vital.

Objective: Slay the undying disciple of the Land of the Dead.

Reward: +1 to a random stat, Hunter Rune – Powder Keg

"'Production'? 'Actor'?"

Will narrowed his eyes slightly at those strange terms.

But there was no time to think.

The white-masked centipede aimed its face at him. Mephistopheles's voice rang out again:

"Eeehahaha! You recognized my True Name right away—impressive! But did you really think that was enough? You forgot something important: this is a dream! How could you treat this like a simple match between Servant abilities?!"

"Shut it."

Will's blade was already flashing through the air. But before the cut could connect with the centipede's face, it retracted violently back into the neck stump.

A split-second later, the headless corpse exploded.

A massive burst of blue flames surged forward.

But this time, with no Ritsuka to protect, Will didn't even flinch. He gripped his sword tightly and struck forward.

No magic, no tricks—just raw force.

With his strength at A-rank, this one serious strike shattered the sound barrier, cleaving through the explosion, parting flame and force like a storm-splitter.

But beyond the fire, Mephistopheles's body had already disintegrated into pieces.

And from those shattered remains, a swarm of centipede-clocks burst forth—hundreds of them.

Tick-tock, tick-tock—they scattered in all directions.

Will scanned them quickly. They all had white masks, but none bore the red core like the one he'd seen before.

Which could only mean…

"That one with the core… that's the real body, huh?"

Eyes narrowing, Will quickly scanned the swarm—and spotted it. The centipede with the glowing red orb.

He lunged.

But the moment he made his move, several decoy centipedes changed direction and rushed him, exploding instantly.

Though he cleaved through the flames again, the red-orbed centipede had already slipped into a crack in the wall and vanished.

Even after tearing down several sections of the surrounding area, Will couldn't find it again.

"Lost him... But if he's willing to sacrifice the others just to keep me from getting that one, then yeah—it's definitely important."

Will muttered under his breath.

"Eeehahahaha—Correct! You're a sharp one, I'll give you that!"

Mephistopheles's mocking voice echoed from every direction once more:

"Yep, if you had caught little Tick-Tock with the core, that'd be really bad for me!"

Then, switching tones like a manic performer mid-act, he added:

"But now that Core Tick-Tock is safely hidden, you'll just have to deal with the endless flood of ordinary Tick-Tocks instead! Your stats may be ridiculous, but let's see how long you last with this much harassment!"

At his cue, a new wave of centipede-clocks burst from cracks in the floor and walls, lunging at Will in a chorus of tick-tick-tick before detonating.

"—Tch. Damn annoying, aren't you?"

With a low curse, Will spun and slashed, splitting another wave of fire apart.

More followed. More exploded.

But Will met each one with swift, clean sword strikes, never letting the flames touch him.

Then, suddenly… it stopped.

No more centipedes came.

The battlefield fell strangely silent.

But that only made Will frown harder.

Because it meant Mephistopheles had given up on direct attacks—and switched to dragging this into a war of attrition.

That was fine.

Will had counters for that, too.

He just needed to adjust his priorities a bit.

With that in mind, he turned and ran back toward Ritsuka and Mash.

"Come with me! We're heading deeper into the mansion!"