Cop Craft – Dragnet Mirage Reloaded

"Translator: ClefRunner"

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About an hour and a half after falling asleep, Matoba woke up slightly, and heard Tilarna and Kuroi making a ruckus inside the neighboring room.

Not my problem. Let’s keep sleeping.

Another hour and a half passed, and Matoba heard Tilarna and Kuroi making some noise once again.

Not my problem. Let’s keep sleeping.

By dawn his sleep got lighter again, and this time he heard Tilarna and Kuroi running, almost rattling around the living room. He also needed to go to the bathroom, but he still felt like he could hold it a little longer.

Let’s keep sleeping.

Matoba started dreaming. It was, once again, that bizarre dream where he got capped for the Japanese National Football Team. Then that PE teacher from middle school that he didn’t get along with came out and started talking about how he was the only one who could see his true potential, and how he should aim for the entire world, or something like that. Apparently that teacher had somehow managed to become the Japanese Team’s manager, and he suddenly called Matoba up.

He had only ever played football back in school for PE, and he was more interested in baseball to begin with. He still took some pride in being able to strike out his opponents back when he used to play together with the other brats at the military base.

Then why am I playing football…? I don’t get it.

Nevertheless he was still called up for the Japanese national team. And he needed to practice for it. Footballs were actually fairly expensive, and he needed a place to practice…

In any case, why am I even doing the whole detective thing? Yeah, a football player. That’s not half bad. Maybe I’d do it if I could.

Tilarna was playing for the other team. And she was the goalkeeper. That was extremely hard to believe. Were there even any football teams in the Semani world to begin with?

And then Matoba opened his eyes.

Still half asleep, he could feel something rustling inside his bed. It was moving from his legs to his stomach and his chest.

Ah, it’s you, Kuroi.

Ever since my cat allergy got better, she has been hogging my bed with her carefree attitude. She probably doesn’t care about it, but I keep worrying about squashing her while turning in my sleep.

He then went to throw her out of bed, and then—

「…Actually. Hey, Kuroi…」

Complained Matoba

「… It’s almost spring already, and it’s not even that cold. Don’t get so clingy. Come on, get out, get out」

Just as he started trying to push her out of the bed, Matoba realized that he was in fact not pushing something with black fur to begin with, and the creature’s large size and weight were wrong, and it wasn’t even a cat to begin with.

What he then saw, still drowsily, was a light skinned blonde girl. Not a cat, but a human.

Rather, the creature that had holed up inside his bed was not a cat, but Tilarna.

「Wait wait wait…!」

Matoba energetically stood up and hastily ran to the bed’s corner. Tilarna on the other hand stretched her entire body with a languid expression, while wearing her camisole slovenly, without showing any concern about it being lifted up or rolled down. She looked directly at Matoba and let out a listless cry.

「Nao~」 「Huh? Are you still asleep? Your room is downstairs, downstairs!」 「Nyao—」

Tilarna let out a sad sounding cry. Her eyes were cloudy, and her mouth half open. She was behaving strangely erotically. Even Matoba, who normally had a completely different attitude towards Tilarna, felt extremely wary of her.

Tilarna kept getting closer, crawling on all fours.

「Hey, Tilarna」 「Nao—. Ke— Kei」 「Stop it」 「Ke—, i—?」

She approached him, almost looking intent on kissing him.

「Hey, this is not a good joke. It’s actually a pretty terrible joke so… hey, stop it!」 「Nya—o—! Ke—i—!」

Tilarna smiled widely as she started clinging to Matoba, who fell to the floor. She then started licking his face, moving her tongue all over. She licked his face, his neck and part of his chest, licking him innocently.

「Wai—! Stop—?! Are you crazy?! Tilarna… Hey!!」

Matoba wasn’t a particularly shy man. If the other person were any other normal girl, then he probably would have been able to simply get carried away by the situation. However, the other person was Tilarna. Tilarna Exedilika. There was no way that Tilarna would ever behave like that. His feelings towards her particular behavior and manner of speaking were something much more sinister.

This is… yeah, this is fear.

「Ah…!」 「Nya—!」

Then right at that moment, a small black cat got right in between the two of them. It was Kuroi. She was behaving strangely aggressively, attempting to pull Tilarna away from Matoba, pulling on him as well, recklessly doing her best to separate the two of them.

「Nya—ow—?!」

Tilarna immediately jumped startled off the bed, after having her arm tugged by the cat. Kuroi’s every single hair of her coat was standing at its end, and she seemed to be threatening Tilarna, who in an immodest manner had gone to the corner of the bedroom and curled up on the floor letting out a sad “Ny—a—”.

「… Wha, what even is going on?」

Said Matoba looking confused while hugging his pillow, as Kuroi stared at him angrily.

「Hey, Ku- Kuroi…?」 「Nya!」 「Woah」

For some reason he felt like Kuroi was scolding him. Almost as if she was actually trying to protect Tilarna… though that was not it exactly.

There were plenty of things that Matoba still didn’t understand at all.

Kuroi lifted up her body, almost as if she were trying to stand on her two hind legs. She then tapped her chest with her tiny right paw several times.

「…?」 「Nya」

She kept moving her front paw and then pointed directly at the sleeping Tilarna on the corner of the bedroom.

It was a gesture that demonstrated intelligence way beyond that of a normal cat, but even that was not enough for Matoba to fully grasp the situation. He raised his eyebrows at Kuroi, who kept repeating the same movement over and over.

「Nya! Nya!」 「And what happened to you, Kuroi? I don’t get it… what?」

Matoba got out of bed and looked at his clock. It was already past eight o’clock.

This is bad, I overslept.

He started hurrying and getting ready to leave…

「Ah, shit. I’m going to be late at this rate. Hey, you hurry!」

He decided to leave both Tilarna and Kuroi alone, despite their strange behavior, and started changing into his clothes hastily.

He barely had enough time to wash his face and clean himself up. There was no time for breakfast or for his morning coffee. Kuroi kept following Matoba back and forth all over the apartment, and kept standing up and crying out to him noisily, but he had no time to pay attention to her. He didn’t have time to choose a necktie either, and simply put on his suit hurriedly. When he returned to his bedroom, he saw Tilarna still lying there in her camisole curled up.

Was she slacking off right there all this time? Even though I told her that we were going to be late. Are you stupid?!

「Hey, Tilarna, what the fuck are you doing?!」

He shouted angrily at her. Tilarna’s shoulders jerked up slightly as if she had been startled. That gesture was particularly unlike regular Tilarna. It was extremely innocent and weak willed.

「Eh…? Ah… what happened? Are you feeling down or something?」 「…」 「I won’t be able to help you if you don’t tell me. What’s going on?」 「… Nya…」

Even while that exchange took place, Kuroi kept crying out to him repeatedly, and standing up on her hind legs.

She’s probably hungry or something. I don’t have time for her.

「I give up. This is… nah」

He looked at the alarm clock. Time was running out.

「Hey Tilarna. I don’t know if you behaved like that earlier because you were still sleepy or sick or something, but I’m sure there was a reason so don’t worry. You’re probably acting up because you're feeling bad. Maybe you caught some weird alien lovebug or something, so don’t push yourself and rest for today. I’ll tell people in the office so don’t worry」 「Nya—ow…」 「Don’t look at me with those defenseless eyes. Just sleep, okay?」

Kuroi let out a loud and noticeably cry while standing on her two legs. Matoba rushed to the kitchen and poured cat food and water for her. But even then she was still acting up.

Ah, I don’t care anymore.

Matoba took his holster, his beloved handgun and he quickly threw all of the confiscated wooden crates into his car. The sorting of the items that Tilarna had been told to do before going to bed still looked incomplete. But there was nothing he could do about it. He finished taking everything into his car and then drove off…

「Ah, fuck」

It was Thursday, the day non-combustible trash got picked up. He rushed back into the apartment, put the contents of the trash bins into a plastic bag, and quickly threw them into the non-combustible container. He didn’t even have time to check what was inside. He just had to hurry.

「Nya————!」

Kuroi cried. What a noisy cat she was. Maybe she was too needy, but the attention would have to wait until later. In any case, he had to get going.

「Kuroi. Take care of Tilarna. Be a good girl!」

He turned the ignition and started the engine. Matoba’s Volkswagen started moving, leaving behind the automatic garage shutter.

~o~O~o~

「Nya———! Nya, nya—! Nyaaaa————!!!」

Kuroi kept crying hopelessly in front of the shutter, getting closer and closer, but Matoba didn’t pay attention to her. He had to get to the Central HQ branch, so he pressed the accelerator.

This is the worst. Kei’s car left already.

Tilarna stood at a loss in front of the closed garage shutter.

No, her soul was Tilarna’s, but her body was Kuroi’s. She looked like Kuroi, and she was sitting powerless in front of the shutter. That was the situation she was in.

「Nya…」

She had intended to call Kei an idiot, but unfortunately all she could muster was a sad meow.

The confiscated items— the bow and arrow were among many of the possessions that the criminals had brought over along with them. They were most likely a magical item from Semanian origin. It would switch the souls of the user and the person they shot, embedded with the “Moth El Balbe” spell.

The hand that carries the soul. The exact same spell that she had been talking with Kei about just the previous day.

But that was meant to be some long lost magic. Tilarna herself had only barely heard about it, and she had never met any Mildite left who were able to use it. But apparently there were some ancient tools left that were still able to cast it somehow.

Selling that bow and arrow would no doubt make enough money even for the wealthiest of Semani aristocrats to live comfortably for a few years. That was about how valuable it truly was.

She got careless. If only she had noticed it, then it would’ve never turned out like this.

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