Cop Craft – Dragnet Mirage Reloaded

Unlike O’Neill’s place, this club catered to quite a distinguished clientele. 

Located in the Grim Valley district of San Teresa, it was known as the『Pioneer』. Its entrance was not visible from the main thoroughfare, carefully hidden within an unsuspecting alley. The only indication of its existence came in the form of a simple sign. If there had not been two Semanians-in-black standing guard in front, anyone would have thought it was just an ordinary warehouse. 

「Excuse me. Can you please show your IDs?」

As she approached the entrance, Tilarna was stopped by the security guards and asked to provide identification. The pair betrayed no sign of friendliness, indiscriminately scrutinizing anyone they came across. 

「Eye-dee?」

「Minors are not allowed inside the establishment.」

「Ah, that won’t be a problem!」

Walking behind her, O’Neill performed an exaggerated gesture as he stepped forward. As usual, Kenny was by his side, albeit it appeared as though he had reluctantly been made to come along. 

「She is my humble assistant. An angel sent from the heavens, tasked with the arduous mission of leading the stray sheep to the Lord’s side. Behold her beauty! Ultimately⸺」

「It does not matter who you are. We will need to check your ID.」

「No, no! She’s rather particular about her pictures, I’ll have you know. As for why⸺」

「If you are unable to provide us any identification, please step back.」

There was no negotiating with these people. O’Neill shrugged his shoulders, whispering loudly to Tilarna. 

「……Or so they said. What do you want to do now?」

「I have it here.」

She produced her identification from her bag, casually showing it to the guardsmen. One of the men-in-black took it in his hands, alternately shifting his eyes from the ID to the girl before him. 

「Twenty-years-old……?」

Right now, she was not dressed in her usual knightly garb. Instead, she had donned a mini one-piece, highlighting her streamlined body. In spite of her age, her legs were perfectly proportioned, her shoulders reluctantly laid bare for all to see. The thin cloth covering her modest chest further served to emphasize its beauty. Tilarna herself was rather conscious of this fact, fidgeting restlessly as she held both elbows in her arms. 

「You claim to be 20 in Earth years, yes? Apologies, ma’am. You do not look like it to me……」

「I-I am a full-fledged adult! In another couple of years, I am certain that I shall grow to become quite the⸺」

「Ah. Mind if you kept quiet for just a moment?」

O’Neill interrupted, bringing his face close to the security guard’s ear. 

「……Now, this is just between you and me, but that girl is quite the treat for some of the more ‘privileged’ guests around here. From the age of twelve, she has been made to consume growth-suppression drugs.」

「Drugs, you say?」

「One does have to wonder why so many men of high standing possess such ‘unique’ preferences. Even among my other angels, this girl’s special. Today, I was hoping that she would be able to give your guests the time of their lives.」

「Trying to steal our customers are you, sir? How troubling.」

「Now, now. I’ll just have her dance a bit and leave. How’s that? I’m sure your gods and mine will acquiesce to that.」

With a short gesture, O’Neill slipped a folded fifty-dollar note into the man’s suit pocket. 

「Please, go on in.」

「Thank you, my good man.」

Arduously nodding his head, O’Neill accompanied Tilarna past the entrance. 

「Let us go, my cute angel! The Gospel of Matthew awaits us! Beyond this door, that is. Now make way for the path shall be open to us. As promised, tonight we shall grant unto this flock unparalleled pleasure! ……On that note, here is my ID. I used to have an afro, you see. Cool, right?」

「Let’s just go on ahead, Father.」

「Amen! I wish you a pleasant night! Freezing to death in this cold!」

Pressing him onwards, Kenny followed after O’Neill’s back. 

Past the shutters of the reception area, the path made way to a narrow corridor with stairs stretching all the way underground. 

「How about it, Sister Tilarna? Were it not for my help, you would have been readily turned away at the gates. Do express your gratitude to the God of this world.」

「Does your god even lend a hand to frauds? At any rate……」

Appraising her appearance one again, Tilarna found it exceedingly unpleasant. She looked no different from someone wearing a swimsuit. Though exposing one’s skin in Semanian culture was not taboo per se, a sense of virtue was expected of members of society, much like on Earth. Of course, shame played a large role in that.

「As I recall, I specifically requested you provide me with inconspicuous clothing. And yet……」

「No problems there. In fact, you almost look too plain. Listen here, Sister Tilarna. The place we’re going to can be considered a swimming pool of sorts. Displaying the youth that God has gifted you is no sin in this world……」

「Is that so? Still, this is⸺」

「You have no need to be embarrassed. Now, straighten your back. On Earth, this is how the ladies walk. Watch and learn.」

O’Neill placed his hand on his waist, stretching out his pinky finger in tandem. Wiggling his hips and shaking his butt left and right, he looked as though he was a cat searching for food.

「Go on and try it yourself.」

「L-like this……?」

Imitating his movements admirably, Tilarna moved her hips as she tottered along. Her petite waist swayed back and forth, tensing itself in the process. However, unaccustomed as she was to this manner of walking, she suddenly wobbled in her footsteps, stretching a hand towards the wall in an attempt to support herself. 

「Eeek……!」

Raising an odd cry, Tilarna accidentally pulled down the hem of her one-piece. Seeing that spectacle unfolding before his eyes, O’Neill broke out into raucous applause. 

「Oh, hallelujah! Hallelujah! Isn’t this just splendid, brother!?」

「And here I thought I liked them bitches with big boobs. Hmm…… what is this sensation, I wonder? It’s like…… my eyes have opened to an entirely new world.」

Kenny blushed, removing any shred of intimidation from his face. 

Tilarna stared at the two suspiciously, sighing resignedly to herself as she descended the staircase. The booming of drums could be heard as they drew closer. Flinging open the soundproof door, they were abruptly greeted with a piercing cacophony of noise. It was a mixture of deafening music and the vibrant cheers of the crowd. 

Inside, pillars made of concrete and steel stretched out as far as the eye could see. Various Semanian symbols adorned the walls of the establishment. With its sky-high ceiling, it was no wonder that cigarette smoke enshrouded the neon lights. 

Surveying the interior, O’Neill said.

「My, oh my. What a foul-smelling place! And such distasteful music! My ministry is so much more soulful than this!」

「Playing something like JB would just dampen the mood here. Don’t you think, Father?」

Seeing the two conversing without paying attention to the racket whatsoever, Tilarna held out her right hand towards them. 

「This is fine. Here is your reward.」

A silver brooch lay on the palm of her hand. It held a pearly tinge, shimmering strangely in the light. In the center, a large pale-green gem had been set onto the metal. 

「Oh! Then, I shall gratefully accept! That is… if you don’t mind.」

Without the slightest hesitation, O’Neill took the brooch into his hands, shining it under the light. It was made of Idaro silver and Sheynon stone. Both were unique to the Semanian world. Though it was respectably prized over on the other side, the scarcity of it here on Earth inflated its value multifold in the local markets. 

「You should be able to live comfortably for a couple of years with this. Take it as a chance to repent for your villainy.」

「Very well! I do not recall ever doing anything quite so grave, but…… I shall try my best to answer your expectations! After all, people are equal in that they all sin!」

Clearly in a good mood, O’Neill looked up towards the ceiling. Beside him, Kenny said.

「You sure about this, princess? Ain’t this precious to ya?」

「I do not mind. It was an heirloom of my mother, but I shall need it no longer.」

Tilarna softly replied. Her eyes betrayed a hint of loneliness. Hidden deep within her voice was a reluctance to part with the said item; albeit she did not seem to have regretted handing it over to O’Neill in the slightest. 

「Hmm……」

「My thanks. Daash Zanna. [1]」

Tilarna turned on her heel, disappearing within the crowd of people. She appeared to have completely forgotten ‘how the ladies walk’. 

O’Neill clapped his hands together. 

「Well, now! While we’re here, let us begin our search for the lost sheep. If possible, ones with bountiful breasts and proper conduct. I have a feeling the Lord would have told us to ‘enjoy the night!’ Don’t you think so too, brother?」

「Is it really OK for us to be hitting on girls, Father? The princess looks like she’s got something serious on her mind.」 

「She’s just at that age, brother. Plenty of thoughts in her head. Why, when I was in high school, all I could think of was girls and sex. And I still do; just with a touch more spirituality. That’s what it means to be an adult.」

「That’s deep, Father.」

Staring at the ass of the Latina woman passing by, Kenny muttered.

Translator’s Notes:

1. TL Note: The Farbanian phrase for ‘thank you.'