Convict Unit: Black Parade

Jae-hee blinked, stunned by Razor’s proposal.

“I mean, even if you say we should just take over Deck 1…”

It wasn’t as if the entire level was a rice cake one could just gobble up on a whim.

Just as he was about to refuse, Ghost’s voice echoed in his mind.

“You take down Razor, take over Deck 1, make it back alive from the next mission, and buy me a ridiculously expensive full-course meal in the Shopping Arcade… Well, I’ll consider it then.”

It was her answer to his plea to be taken on as a disciple.

“Ah!” Jae-hee froze, covering his mouth. “So this was one of her conditions. Huh, maybe I should try to take over Deck 1…”

“Take what over desu? Is there something delicious desu?” Status Window asked, his face brightening as he tipped a bag of potato chips into his mouth.

Razor just shook his head. “Anyway, why is this pig stuck to you?”

“Stop calling me a pig desu! Besides, Razor-kun, weren’t you the one hiding behind my back to survive earlier desu?”

“…Why is this fatass so damn annoying even when he’s right?”

“Isn’t it obvious that the truth is always harder to swallow desu?”

He was making infuriatingly perfect sense, which only pissed Razor off more.

Having lost the verbal battle, Razor petulantly threw an empty milk carton at Status Window, who let it bounce off his stomach with a cackle.

Just as a fuming Razor was about to leap to his feet, a voice came from the hall.

“You guys in there?”

Big Fist knocked on the bars before unlocking them and stepping inside.

“Brought some late-night snacks. Let’s eat and tal—” His eyes met Razor’s.

A tense silence fell.

Then a beat later, both inmates snapped into combat stances.

“Ra-Razor? I heard you disappeared! What are you doing here?!”

“Big Fist, you motherfucker! You’re dead meat!”

Razor lunged at Big Fist, but his wound must have flared up. He let out a yelp and collapsed.

Big Fist stared dumbfounded at the flailing Razor before finally coming to his senses.

He glared at Jae-hee. “Ha! So you were in bed with Razor all along, you little shit?”

“No, no, there’s been a slight misunderstanding, Big Fist bro!”

Jae-hee tried to switch his allegiance with lightning speed.

Frankly, it was obvious Razor had lost his backing. If he had to pick a side, siding with Big Fist was the only logical choice.

“I wasn’t hiding Razor bro! I was just holding on to him to offer him up to you, Big Fist bro!”

“The hell did you just say? You wanna die?” Razor seethed.

Jae-hee desperately avoided his gaze, trying and failing to whistle nonchalantly.

Big Fist, however, just sneered as if he’d caught them red-handed. “Forget it. Now that I’ve taken Deck 1, your usefulness has run out anyway, kid.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll get rid of all of you at once! Hahaha! Just stick your necks out and wait!”

With a hearty laugh, Big Fist slammed the cell door shut and sprinted down the hall, presumably to gather his men.

As Jae-hee stared after him with his mouth agape, Razor finally managed to pull himself up and growled.

“…What was that? Hey, say it again. You were going to hand me over from the start?”

“Wh-what? No way! You know that was just a ploy to make him let his guard down! I never thought it would turn out like this…”

Razor looked ready to argue but seemed to decide it was pointless. He clicked his tongue and glanced toward the bars.

“Hmph. That fucker Big Fist… he was planning to take you out from the beginning.”

“But why me…?”

“From his perspective, you already took me down. What’s to stop you from taking him down too? Once you get a taste of power, you start seeing threats that aren’t even there.”

Razor limped to the cell door, opened it, and gestured for them to follow. “Get up, shitheads. We’re a package deal now. Before he comes back with his crew, we need to prepare a counterattack.”

Jae-hee and Status Window scrambled to their feet.

Jae-hee hurried to catch up to Razor and asked cautiously, “A counterattack? You have a plan?”

“I’ve got something in mind.”

“What kind of plan? It looks like Big Fist has the whole 1st Deck locked down. He’s going to have a bunch of guys with him…”

“…”

“Is there anyone who can help you, bro?”

Razor let out a short sigh. “Even before, all the inmates on this deck who weren’t in my crew hated my guts. Now that my men are dead or have betrayed me, who’s going to help?”

Jae-hee tilted his head. Then how are we supposed to counterattack?

“But the same goes for Big Fist. The inmates who aren’t in his crew hate him too.”

Razor turned, a smirk playing on his lips. “Well? Starting to get the picture?”

“Nope.”

“This is why I can’t stand kids… You don’t even get basic election strategy?”

What’s he talking about, an election?

Of course Jae-hee didn’t know. He’d only just become an adult and hadn’t even had a chance to vote yet.

“All right, look. There are two candidates for Deck Leader. Me and Big Fist. But the general population can’t stand either of us.”

“Right.”

“In that case, putting up a new face is the easiest way to win them over.”

“Aha…”

“We put up a new face to win over the inmates who aren’t in my crew or Big Fist’s—the floating vote. We’re talking about securing the ones who hold the casting vote.”

Confused by the sudden barrage of political jargon, Jae-hee asked timidly, “And who is this new face?”

Razor gave him a look that screamed, Are you really this dense?

“Aha!” Status Window, who had been listening quietly, clapped his hands and pointed at himself. “Could it be me desu?”

“Hah…” Razor sighed, dragging a hand down his face before jabbing a finger at Jae-hee. “You, the clueless new face! Prepare your candidacy speech. Now!”

***

Deck 1, aka the “Newbie Hunting Ground.”
Central Area. Dining Hall—the Mess Hall.

The place was buzzing. A crowd of inmates had gathered, their murmurs filling the air.

The mess hall was always a gathering spot, mealtime or not, but today it was more packed than usual.

“What’s going on? Why’s everyone here?”

“Dunno. Heard there was some kind of event.”

“You know that rookie kid? I heard he’s challenging for the Deck Leader spot.”

“Huh? Isn’t Razor the leader?”

“He was. Until yesterday. Today it’s Big Fist. And now it looks like this kid’s declaring another rebellion.”

Just then, someone leaped onto one of the central tables.

It was the rookie at the center of all the rumors, Jae-hee Han. Below the table, Razor and Status Window stood by like campaign managers.

“Ah… my respected seniors.” Jae-hee flashed an awkward smile, waving his hands limply. “Hello, everyone. I’m the new guy, Jae-hee Han.”

A low cheer rippled through the mess hall as the epicenter of Deck 1’s recent earthquake introduced himself.

“Some of you may have already heard, but… ahem. So…”

Jae-hee cleared his throat awkwardly, then raised a clenched fist and shouted, “I am running for Deck Leader of Deck 1!”

The same question flashed through every inmate’s mind.

The Deck Leader is chosen by an election? Isn’t it just whoever has the biggest fist?

This isn’t some high school student council, so what’s all this about “running for” Deck Leader?

Bewildered by a rule that even years-long veterans didn’t know existed, the inmates began to murmur amongst themselves.

Nevertheless, Jae-hee pressed on.

“If I become Deck Leader,” he began, clumsily imitating the politicians he’d seen on TV, “I won’t rule through force! I’ll eliminate the vertical hierarchy! No more oppression! Everyone will be equal…”

As his speech drifted into vague platitudes, the inmates started to yawn.

It was long-winded, reeked of feigned intellect, and was mind-numbingly pedantic.

Sensing the bored atmosphere, Jae-hee’s mind raced.

“And, um…”

What’s a good platform? Something quick, memorable, and simple enough to stick in everyone’s head…

His desperate gaze landed on the far side of the mess hall.

He saw a pot, bubbling with a thick, unappetizing slop.

In a flash of inspiration, Jae-hee bellowed, “I will make the mess hall food delicious!”

“…!”

“No more of this tasteless dog slop! I’ll take responsibility and make sure this mess hall serves decent food—food fit for human beings!”

The inmates’ faces went from shock to recognition.

They looked at each other, then back at Jae-hee, and then… they tossed down their trays of slop and roared, arms outstretched in unanimous approval.

A horrified Razor grabbed Jae-hee. “Does the Deck Leader even have the authority to do that?”

“Huh? How would I know? I’m just winging it!”

How the hell is this kid going to handle the fallout?

Like Razor, the old-timers who’d been in prison for years were skeptical of Jae-hee’s promise and watched him with suspicion.

That’s when Status Window leaped up beside Jae-hee and yelled, “Just look back at Boy-kun’s track record desu! The Commander has been involved in everything he’s done!”

“…!”

“Boy-kun is especially favored by the Commander desu! If you’re sharp, you guys know what that means, right?”

The old-timers quickly exchanged glances.

Now that he mentioned it, they realized all of Jae-hee’s deeds were wildly unconventional.

He was sent on two missions just days after arriving, and he dismantled the crew of Deck 1’s leader, Razor.

What if that demonic Commander is behind it all…? What if the Commander wants the kid to take over Deck 1?

You can’t fight this tide! We’ve gotta ride the wave…!

The old-timers, swept up in their own delusion, joined the cheering crowd.

A horrified Razor grabbed Jae-hee again. “Do you really have a connection with the Commander?”

“Huh? How would I know? We’ve shared a few intense stares, though.”

“How the hell are these two idiots gonna handle the fallout…?”

Regardless, Deck 1 mess hall erupted into a frenzy. The majority of fools and a handful of the mistakenly clever were all chanting Jae-hee’s name.

Elated, Jae-hee pumped his fists in the air and yelled, “Candidate Number One, the Boy! I’m Candidate Number One, everyone!”

Cheers erupted. “Boy! Boy! Boy! Boy!”

Just then, tables and chairs went flying as Big Fist’s gang stormed the mess hall.

“There he is!”

“Found them, boss! They’re all here!”

Big Fist emerged from behind his men, grinding his teeth at the sight of Razor and Jae-hee. “Razor, Boy…! So this is where you were hiding!”

Status Window raised his hand and shouted, “I’m Status Window desu!”

Big Fist, of course, paid him no mind, cracking his massive knuckles. “Hah, if you wanted to die, you should’ve just croaked quietly. You really think you can drag the other inmates into this and start a riot?”

Big Fist’s men fell into formation behind him.

He had only just taken over the deck, but his crew was already formidable. And since they had just recently crushed Razor’s organization, their morale was sky-high.

“I’m gonna kill every last one of you! Get them—!”

As Big Fist swung his arm forward, his men charged with a collective roar.

The inmates who had gathered in the mess hall panicked, turning to flee.

But then…

“Prisoners of the deck—!”

Someone with a booming voice let out a tremendous shout.

“Unite desu!”

It was, of course, Status Window.

“How much longer are you going to let bastards like them trample you while you choke down this tasteless dog slop desu?!”

“…!”

The prisoners’ trembling gazes darted between the spilled slop on the floor and Big Fist’s charging gang.

“Let’s start a Mess Hall Revolution with our own hands desu! If you make Boy-kun our leader, he’ll make it all happen desu!”

A bewildered Jae-hee pointed a finger at himself, mouthing, Me? but Status Window ignored him and continued to scream.

“We have nothing to lose but our slop and our cuffs desu! Fight back desu!”

Status Window’s round hand shot into the air.

“For Boy-kun—!”

The prisoners exchanged looks, and then, as if on cue, they roared back, thrusting their own hands skyward.

“For Boy—!”

Jae-hee didn’t know what to do, but the inmates who supported him were already charging to meet Big Fist’s forces.

“MESS! HALL! REVO! LUTION!”

“The Azure Sky is already dead! The Yellow Sky must rise!”

“Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch!”

“W-what the shit are these crazy fuckers spitting?!”

“Crush them! CHAAARGE!”

Screaming slogans in a dozen different languages, the two factions collided.

The mess hall erupted into a glorious brawl.