Control Comes from Within

“What the hell?” I couldn’t help but blurt out. The things I was hearing made no sense whatsoever.

The message continued without pausing or acknowledging my interruption, leading me to believe it was some kind of recording.

“By now you should have realized that you are no longer in the physical realm, but rather within a projection, or representation, of your soul. The details will no doubt be more cumbersome than your minds can handle, but suffice it to say that your souls are the safest place to store information that is best kept private.”

The old man’s voice was…rough. Low-pitched and steady, yet tired. It sounded like he just wanted to finish recording whatever this was and get to bed. The Deity of Control, as he called himself, must have been going through some hard times.

“And make no mistake, this will be kept private. I have taken steps to prevent coincidences and malcontents, but those of you who seek to inform your overseers or demigods of my existence will find themselves sorely regretting such thoughts right…now.”

SIlence reigned for nearly a minute, as I was left wondering what the hell an overseer or demigod was, at least, in the context with which the Deity mentioned them in. Assuming everything I had heard so far was the truth, that meant there were deities and demigods somewhere. Were there really such powerful existences somewhere out there in the wider world?

“Now that the troublemakers have been dealt with, I can get back to the main focus of this message: your qualification to receive my inheritance. Those of you who have survived thus far have demonstrated an affinity for control, and not in the sense of the typical affinities for mana.”

Wait, mana was real?! Then what the hell was essence?!

“Or you possess a tenacious soul capable of withstanding the influence of my Seed. By now, you should be aware that your mana is more responsive to your will, while the less gifted among you are no doubt experiencing odd coincidences or unexplained phenomena while casting spells. In any case, the next stage begins now.”

“All of you should be feeling some degree of pain in your soul, a byproduct of my Seed’s presence. Those of you able to reach the Seed will qualify for the next stage of the process, earning the right to receive a technique suitable for your stage of power.”

“I eagerly await our next encounter.”

The man’s voice cut out, and I was left floating in the white abyss of nothingness that I now knew to be my soul, pondering the implications of what had just happened.

First off, mana was real, and from what little I knew of it, was different to essence. Which begged the question, what was the difference, and where did essence even come from? As far as I knew, I wouldn’t even be able to access mana, unless the Deity of Control somehow changed things, which was unlikely as he was almost certainly dead, or why else would he look for an inheritor to everything he had?

Next was the fact that I was a potential recipient to the inheritance of a god, or godlike being. I seriously hoped that there wouldn’t be some battle royale style tournament to decide the ultimate winner at the end of it all. I was curious about how many candidates there could possibly be, but for my sake, the fewer there were, the better.

And finally, the thing I thought was the most relevant at that moment:

The Seed.

Whatever it was, it was placed there in my soul by the Deity of Control, and was responsible for my headaches, which were a side effect of the soul damage it was causing, not to mention it was responsible for me believing I had a much more limited lifespan than I had previously thought. Thinking back, my headaches had started when I was a kid, so somehow, he had put the Seed in me over ten years ago, and it had festered there ever since.

I could tentatively assume that I had a regular lifespan now, though the Deity’s message somewhat implied that might not be true if I failed to reach the Seed in a timely manner. Reaching the Seed was a priority, as I would receive some kind of technique, not to mention, doing so would apparently help with my…control affinity? I shook my head at how complicated things had become, and tried to focus on moving in the direction I wanted.

And immediately came upon a stumbling block.

I had no idea where the Seed was, what it looked like, how to find it, or how far away it was.

I could float around in the vicinity by moving my arms and legs, akin to swimming, but I couldn’t significantly propel myself any further. There was also the small issue of the surroundings being an endless white space, making it impossible to determine how far I had traveled beyond my rough mental estimates, and even then it would likely only be a few inches.

There had to be a better way. This was a soul, after all. It couldn’t be infinite. If only there were some kind of soul magic…though something that esoteric was likely in the hands of the elites –

Like the dragons.

It was a wild thought, but I couldn’t help but think that under different circumstances, the dragons would be willing to share any knowledge of soul magic they were aware of. As far as I was aware, the dragons were the oldest living species, and there were even rumors that some elder dragons still lived, those who were alive when this world’s civilization was in its infancy.

If the dragons were either unable or unwilling to tell me about soul magic, my next best source would be the elves. I had always planned to visit the elven continent one day. Maybe Reela would take pity on me and let me travel there.

Pssh, yeah right. That asshole dragonkin showing mercy is about as probable as the Seed magically appearing in front of me.

No sooner had the thought occurred to me than I was immobilized by a searing pain, bypassing my body entirely and solely focusing on my mind or soul, robbing me of any semblance of rational thought. I clawed at my own face, curling up like a shrimp and convulsing reflexively, the pain turning me mad, bypassing regret entirely and making me wish I was dead so the suffering would just stop.

I was no stranger to pain, but luckily, or unluckily depending on your perspective, I had mostly only experienced physical pain. Physical pain was unpleasant, but it could be dealt with. This…soul pain? It surpassed any torment I had felt in my entire life, and I had been chewed by a vorander with acid in its fangs. It defied description, originating from nowhere yet affecting my entire being. Having no physicality, I couldn’t even black out or use a spell for a similar effect. All I could do was endure it until it passed,

It could have lasted a second or a year, but eventually, the pain vanished, disappearing like it was never there. The memory of the sensation was too raw and visceral for me to do anything other than lie there, staring into space, as I slowly came to grips with the reality that the pain hadn’t killed me. Ironically enough, I had finally achieved something that I never had before, despite years of making attempts.

My mind was truly and completely empty.

…But if that was what I had to experience to achieve that state of mind….yeah, no, I would probably just stick to meditating.

I knew I was still alive as my mind instantly began throwing out random idiotic thoughts like, ‘I’m glad Reela doesn’t know soul magic, or she definitely would have used something like that on me’ or ‘If only there was a way I could share pain through any of my mental connections, then I could just transfer the pain to my tamed beasts or that red dragonkin and I’d never have to go through that again’.

My characteristic rambling was brought to a halt as my eyes were drawn to something… impossible. Something that I should not have been seeing, and yet was hovering before me.

Something divine.

A formless, colorless blob that alternated colors and shapes every second, all while giving off a massive presence that I had only ever felt once before, when I had briefly come into contact with Khime. One second, the thing was a blood-red cube, before it inexplicably morphed into a green sphere, and again into an azure diamond, then a black staff, a brown sword, a purple quiver, a teal eyeball…it constantly shifted its form, pulsating and rotating, never maintaining its appearance for too long. As soon as I saw it, I knew what it was, without a shadow of a doubt. There was nothing else it could possibly be, leaving only a single possibility.

The Seed.

Somehow, by some absolute miracle, the Seed had manifested in front of me, saving me time I would have otherwise spent floundering around in my soul realm, making incremental progress at best. Was it constantly moving, and just happened to cross paths with me? Was it even capable of moving? Had I somehow affected it?

...Fuck, I had affected it, hadn’t I?

It was vague, as the incident of the soul pain had effectively obliterated my short-term memory, but hadn’t I thought to myself that I wanted the seed to just appear before me, or something like that? Had it actually done so in response to my thoughts? More importantly…was this something the Deity of Control had foreseen, or not?

It was possible that I would be instantly vaporized if I touched the Seed, having somehow bypassed the challenge set by the Deity. It was also possible that what I had inadvertently done was a legitimate method of completing the challenge, and I was worrying over nothing. But the fact that my fate would be decided on a coin flip left me profoundly unsettled, especially after experiencing that horrid soul pain.

I hadn’t even realized that I was already upright, when I decisively placed my hand on the Seed, a soothing feeling emanating from it upon contact. Regardless of whether I lived or died, why waste time?

The Seed paused its movements, remaining static in its current form, a gold ingot, as the aged voice of the Deity of Control sounded out once more.

“Congratulations on being the first to reach the Seed, aspirant. Your methods are irrelevant as you have achieved the task set before you –”

Geez, you couldn’t have mentioned that earlier? I seriously thought I might die.

“ – And in doing so, have proven your ability and desire to walk this path. In light of your accomplishment, you are eligible to receive two suitable techniques for you, one of your own choosing, and one of mine. However, I must warn you. In receiving these techniques, you will be affiliated with me in the eyes of the various pantheons and their associates, ranging from the highest peaks of the Heavenly Crowns, to the lowest depths of the Dark Abyss. While my influence on your growth may be subtle, it will endanger you should others discover it.”

“And so I offer you the choice to willingly walk away from this path. Opportunity and danger often go hand in hand, but you may pursue a simpler life if you feel you are not suited for such perils. State your desire, and know that you have the freedom of choice, a gift very few truly cherish.”

The message stopped, presumably so I could drop out if I wanted to…

But I had already made up my mind, and unflinchingly made my declaration to the Seed.

“Gimme everything you got, old man,” I said, instantly regretting my words as soon as they left my mouth.

“So it shall be.”

And like a decree from the heavens, I felt a pressure descend upon me, freezing me in place as I was gifted techniques from a god.