Control Comes from Within

Honor. Valor. Dedication. Sacrifice. Commitment.

The words went in one ear and out the other.

Every student and member of staff was gathered in the academy’s arena, its seats full for the first time since I arrived. The headmaster, displaying a sense of either understanding or reluctance, had delayed his speech by one day to allow everyone to rest and recuperate from the battle. In that same spirit, he cancelled all classes for the following week, permitting those who wished to return to their families to briefly do so.

Now, however, he stood atop a dais and was delivering what I’m sure was a passionate speech about…something. I stopped listening as soon as I heard the word ‘perseverance’. To me, that word translated to ‘you’ll be expected to do that again’.

My ‘ambulance duty’, as I had referred to it in my mind, truly wasn’t as harrowing or grim as my other experiences with the monsters. It helped that there were others who did the lion’s share of the fighting and my own role was relatively insignificant. I’m sure that those in the vanguard would have felt differently though, as they had to rebuff the advances of death multiple times.

My eyes drifted to the seats behind the headmaster, where the other staff members and instructors were quietly chatting amongst themselves as the headmaster quoted some famous general from a thousand years ago. I had heard through the grapevine that Professor Alinis was recovering in the infirmary, as he had overexerted himself during the battle, something about the conflict of energy when affecting vorander blood with his essence. It was too advanced for me to follow, but the gist of it was that he would be laid up for at least a week. As soon as my eyes drifted to Teacher Passen, he looked straight at me and nodded towards the headmaster, wordlessly gesturing for me to pay attention.

All he got in response was my roll of my eyes as I shook my head and kept looking at the instructors. He was lenient with most of his students out of class, but strict whenever we were in the classroom.

Finally, I saw Ganturo talking with Sir Yalmaar, and that made sense to me. They were both fighters, so they were probably reminiscing about some old battle or something. I kept perusing the staff as I saw that old administrator lady who I had to deal with on my first day here. That paperwork snafu would not be soon forgotten, at least, not by –

Wait. Ganturo?

Why is he here?!

I turned back to where I saw Ganturo and he paused his conversation with Sir Yalmaar to subtly nod and wave at me, a grin on his face. I nodded back, and he quickly resumed his conversation.

“Take this time to recover, both your body and spirit. If there is anything the staff can assist you with, do not hesitate to call upon us. We are all in this together.”

Finally.

The headmaster had ended his speech and began walking out of the arena, the staff members following after him, and the students waiting until they had left before filing out themselves.

No sooner had I reached the massive exit of the arena than I was pulled to the side by a thick and muscled arm.

“Um, ow.” I managed to let out once we had reached an area less crowded.

“Oh, you’ve handled worse wounds before, haven’t you?” Ganturo said, his voice full of delight despite his apathy toward the numbness in my upper arm.

“Not really. Forget all that, what are you doing here?” I asked him, confusion written on my face as I slowly stretched out my shoulder to regain some feeling in it.

“Sigh, well, you remember I told you I sometimes worked at the academy as an instructor when I got injured?” I nodded, as I did recall him saying something along those lines. “Well, I got injured, and part of my pay for working here is getting my injury treated. Although it’s only for two months, I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t need to.”

“It’s not serious, is it?” I asked. If he was fine enough to be walking around, it probably wasn’t that serious, but it didn’t hurt to check.

“Not with the treatment I got this morning. Man, the healers here really put to shame the ones back in Khobadaar, don’t they? All it took was five minutes for my wounds to go from painful to nonexistent.” He twisted his core, his body rotating above his hips in demonstration. “It’s like it never happened.”

“Yeah. So, how’s everything back home? Everyone’s alright?” I asked him.

“Actually…about that…” he trailed off.

When he didn’t immediately say they were fine, my mind went to the worst case scenario.

“What happened?!” I asked him louder than before, a slight panic bleeding into my voice.

“Oh, sorry! I probably should have phrased that better. Everything’s fine, nothing happened,” he assured me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Sorry about that, it’s just…there’s something I need to ask you, and I need you to tell me the truth.” Ganturo said, his mouth twisting into an awkward grimace.

Could he have found out something that blew up my villager cover story?

That was the only thing that came to mind, until he asked me something I definitely wasn’t expecting.

“Have you ever fought monsters before?” He asked, the earlier cheer replaced by seriousness.

“Yeah, a couple days ago.” I said honestly. “They attacked the city. Didn’t you hear about it?” I said, my eyebrows raised questioningly.

He waved it off, “Not that. I meant, have you ever fought them before that? It would have been before you left for Jyvra City.”

“Yes…I have.” My mind was in turmoil as he continued. What was the point of this?

He exhaled, looking up at the sky before closing his eyes and asking, “And while you were fighting…was there ever a rock pillar nearby? Maybe made by a rock mage?”

My brain short-circuited and fizzled out as my eyes went wide and I stopped breathing. It took a couple seconds for me to process what just happened, but I was no closer to understanding the why of it. Hypothetically, he could have crossed paths with Elius or that lazy mage, and they could have told him about that encounter. But why would they?

And more to the point, if things were that simple, he wouldn’t have asked me like this.

“How could you possibly know that?” I half-whispered, as I saw Ganturo lower his head and look back at me, his eyes opened again. His expression was difficult for me to read, but it seemed like he had made a decision somehow. His voice when he finally replied was also firmer than it had been previously, and I got the distinct feeling I wouldn’t like what he had to say.

“Rhaaj, you know how we feel about you. You’re almost like a little nephew to me and Evelyn, and Gill and Ennin both care about you a lot. But this is a family matter. Blood family. I can’t tell you how I know what happened to you, but you have my vow that, despite how it looks, this has very little to do with you. I’m asking you to set aside any questions you might have about this, and just let it be. Can you respect my wishes about this?”

This was a side of Gan, no, Ganturo, that I hadn’t seen before. Where before stood an almost uncle, always laughing or smiling about something, there now stood a warrior, no, a father and husband who was politely but definitively drawing the line between family and friend, and making it crystal clear which side of the line I fell in.

His arms were crossed, and his mouth set in a firm line as he awaited my response. There was really only one answer I was able to give. Though it pained me more than I thought that it had to be said at all.

“You have my word that I will respect your privacy on this. I promise I won’t raise any questions about…what happened here today.”

He searched my eyes as I spoke, and apparently satisfied with my answer, reverted back to the almost uncle I knew him as.

“I’m sorry about that, but I can’t take any chances with this, Rhaaj. Not when it’s my family at stake.” He said, as he let out a long exhale.

“It’s fine, I understand.” I said in understanding. “Family comes first.”

“So!” His smirk once again adorned his face as he addressed me, “We’ve got two months together before I have to head home. You know what that means.”

“Sigh, sparring?”

“Sparring!” Ganturo agreed, already swinging his arms like we were about to fight then and there. “Have you decided on what kind of style or weapon you want to use?”

“Not really. All I see are the downsides of each weapon. The spear? Great for poking, bad against armor. Warhammer? Needs two hands and leaves me too open for counters if I fail to connect with the target. Daggers? Nice, now I need to get up close and smell that foul stench they give off.”

Ganturo cut me off, “We’ll start with the longsword. It’s the most common starting point, and what most people use. Then, once you find out how you move in combat, your little quirks or whatever else you prefer, we can make adjustments.”

“I guess.” I said halfheartedly.

The rest of the day was spent accompanying Ganturo around the campus, though it seemed like he was more familiar with it than I was, despite the many months I had been there. We traded stories in the cafeteria, him telling me about his family, and me sharing the relevant parts of my education with him, as in, the combat-related events.

“So, have you ever fought a monster horde like that before?” I asked him, as I finished off a sandwich.

Ganturo dismissed the premise of my question entirely, waving his hand like he was swatting away a mosquito. “Bah, I’ve heard about what you went through. That wasn’t a true horde, just an angry pack of displaced imps. A tiny little skirmish from what I can tell. Real hordes are in the millions. That’s when the blood really starts to flow!” He claimed, downing a pint of some liquor.

“When the enemy is numerous enough that they blot out the sky, then you can say you’ve faced a horde. Till then?” He shrugged. “This is all just training.”

I was a little surprised at how casually he dismissed the threat the monsters posed. “But people actually died during the attack. Not just guards, either, but students too.” I said.

“Sigh, and as awful as that is for their families, it’s a trade any leader would make for the survival of the rest of their troops. Actually think about it for a second, Rhaaj.” He paused to wipe his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “Now that this city’s combatants, both the guards and the academy students, have some combat experience, won’t they be better prepared the next time it happens?” he posed to me.

“...Is that why there were no reinforcements from the army? Because they wanted us to have experience?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, I can’t speak on the thoughts of the local commander, but that was probably a factor for it, yes.”

“...And you said that a real horde would be in the millions?” I asked rhetorically as my voice grew despondent at the thought of a battle many orders of magnitude larger than the one I just experienced.

“As bad as you think that last battle was, it’ll be even worse if you ever have the misfortune of fighting in the battlefields in the north. That’s where the real fight is. Millions of monsters, enough to have you seeing black in your dreams. The Wall of the World, stretching leagues out to cover the entire northern coast of the Elvish continent. The healers killing themselves out of despair, as the wounded die despite their best efforts. The sudden news that the soldier you shared a meal with on your first day died in an ambush…” Ganturo’s voice trailed off, and for the first time since I met the man, I could see the scarred soldier that he was, as the facade of the father and husband faded away…but only for a moment before he regained control and sadly smiled at me.

He shook his head before continuing. “The point is, things can get bad. But despite all the horrors and disasters we might face, if we don’t fight, worse things will happen to the people who stand behind us.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder as he kept speaking. “Never forget that while you might be here to learn how to fight, you should never forget your reason for doing so.”

I mulled over his words even after we parted ways. While walking back to my room, I accidentally bumped into someone, my thoughts distracting me from fully paying attention to my surroundings.

“Sorr–” I began to say to whoever I bumped into, before an invisible force pushed me off the path with such force I fell to the ground and rolled a few times before my momentum died out.

It was so sudden and unexpected, there was no time for me to react. I coughed out a piece of soil and some blades of grass that got in my mouth, before standing up to brush the dirt off my clothes and look at who had pushed me.

A group of noble students had continued to walk along the path, completely disregarding what just happened to me. They were chatting loudly, making no effort to lower their voices despite the subject matter.

“Ugh, you’ll have to throw out your coat now, Bydon. Who knows where that lowborn’s been?”

“Don’t worry, Mala. I noticed him coming my way and activated the repulsion spell before he could ruin it. Look, do you see any dirty spots on it?”

“You were lucky this time, Bydon. Your next outfit might not be so fortunate. Can you imagine it, fifty stones gone to waste, because a lowborn didn’t get out of the way in time?”

“Have you heard that the academies are about to implement some new reform policy? And about peasants, of all things! Do they even need any more help? They’ve already been allowed to sully the good name of the academies with their filthy presence! Is that not enough for them? What else could they possibly want?!”

Their voices grew lower and imperceptible as they got farther away.

I had been lucky thus far, in not meeting with any real elitists, but it seemed that luck was turning around.