Conscious, Conscientious

Conscious, Conscientious is more than just a story.

…Alright that came across way too pretentious. Allow me to elaborate: I just mean that literally, not as some vague, self-indulgent humble brag.

While it is just a story, there’s a whole other half to the project, and to me, it’s just as important: the soundtrack.

If you haven’t glanced at one of the many times I’ve attempted to hype this in the Author’s Notes, Conscious Conscientious features accompanying theme music. Now that we’re in between the conclusion of Volume 2 and on the heels of Volume 3, I wanted to take a moment to share a bit about these songs.

As I briefly shared in the first “Concept Conscientious” post, music and writing fiction have both been huge passions of mine since I was little, though for years, they never intersected. I started writing and (badly) recording my own music in middle and high school, before sharpening my skills by getting way too involved in music at college.

Then, equipped with the experience and past failures to hopefully not suck, I created my music project Circlebrooke—well before I had any serious plans to start posting Conscious, Conscientious. Inspired by alternative bands like Switchfoot and Anberlin, as well as heavier acts like Emery, Fallstar, and Underoath, I self-produced an album and a couple EP’s, featuring good friends on a track here and there.

During that time, my housemates and I grew more and more in love with J-rock and other Japanese artists, thanks to our many anime and YouTube binges (we were real party animals). That definitely began shaping my style and musical aspirations.

While I was finally living out my super-adulty dream of working in the day and filling my time with music at night, I was leaving my other passion to the wayside.

But not long after, the stars aligned in the strangest way possible: my other band at the time broke up, I got dumped a few months later, and the pandemic started.

Suddenly, I had a lot more time on my hands, and a strong desire to fill those sudden voids. Combining the two things I loved doing most seemed like it could do just that. As I’m sure any fellow creators reading this can relate to, diving into Conscious, Conscientious was therapeutic for me. And now, it’s become a part of who I am.

I knew it could be done, and if done well, could be very cool. My biggest source of encouragement came from the absolutely genius way the rock band Falling Up used to combine science fiction with music—especially on Hours (which accompanies a sci-fi horror audio novel) and their final, untitled album.

And so, I just needed a formula. Rigorous work as it would be, I landed on releasing one EP per volume of Conscious, Conscientious. If you’ve been following the music, you’ve probably noticed each lyrically focuses on the volume’s themes and characters.

While I don’t have the means, personnel, or skill to make an anime, this formula also gave me the ultimate excuse to try my hand at making OP’s and ED’s. The first track is, so to speak, the volume’s “opening,” while the final track serves as an “ending theme.” This really challenged me to write in the specific formulas heavily followed in this style.

A couple quick examples from the second EP: while “The Flame We Share” has that standard “starting with a guitar and vocal half-chorus, and then the RIFF” approach, on “Gloat Stadium” I went for that 90’s anime R&B style.

In between the first and last song on the tracklists, I wanted to give myself the freedom to experiment outside of the anime-style boundaries. So, inspired by games like Sonic Adventures, I aimed to write theme anthems for specific main characters. Sonically, they’re meant to sound like something I think that character would listen to. From a lyrical approach, they’re an exploration of that character’s mind.

Often times (in the OP/ED’s and character themes alike), I try to reference specific plot moments and exposition straight from the story, like in Pang’s theme, where we’re shown how her past trauma influences her motivation in Volume 2:

“I just want to feel like someone cares at all

The wood is rotting out, the wood is rotting out again

When this ship sinks, you won’t fade

I’ll make my heart a blade and I won’t stop ‘till you breathe the air”

And other times—as I anticipate will happen more often moving forward—the opposite happens: the lyrics in the song influence or make appearances in the story.

This happened for the first time during the Conscious Competition Championship in Chapter 50, when Deon shares his mother’s saying with Skrili. Her words that ‘a loving person fights even when they know they can’t [save someone]” comes directly from the chorus I had recently written in “The Flame We Share.”

(I don’t see this as particularly witty, by the way. If anything, I was scrambling to think of something worth saying, and those lyrics I had just recorded a million takes of in my basement happened to fit oddly well.)

We see this again in Chapter 51, when Skrili practically sacrifices herself to calm Kotono down. The song she sings, which she’d grown up singing to her brother, draws heavily from the bridge of her theme song:

“One day we’ll close our eyes

And feel the warmth of life

For now, just stay with me”

While the project is incredibly self-referential by nature, my other aim is for the music to mean something real to anyone listening—just like my goal for the story, because fiction can speak truth. So I try to avoid being overly discrete in the words, providing some room for personal interpretation. This comes naturally, as the songs tend to gain inspiration from my own life, anyway.

For instance, I wrote “Gloat Stadium” in the midst of many intense, personal conversations with a close friend about society and the poison of politics. Those emotions certainly oozed into the song’s overall feel.

And “The Flame We Share” is just as much an anthem for a loved one who was fighting cancer as it is an anime-fueled theme track about Volume 2.

With the new year and a new volume around the corner in a couple weeks, I’m excited to dive back into demoing the next four songs for “Conscious, Conscientious 3.” Even though the last EP just dropped, this outlet for creativity simply keeps me going every day, and hearing from anyone who reads or listens keeps motivating me further (So thank you!!).

For now, the newest theme EP, “Conscious, Conscientious 2” is available wherever you stream or buy songs. If you’re as much a nerd about music as me, please give it a listen! I hope it enhances your experience of this ongoing story.