Conscious, Conscientious

Lammy couldn’t get tired of Fantasy Country’s starry night sky and its many colorful moons—or, as Rob and Pete had explained to him, Worlds. He wondered if it was possible to visit all of them in a lifetime.

He and Zayza lay on a grassy slope, one of many among these hilly plains a short walk away from the road they’d been following. Glowing bugs occasionally drifted by, as did the silhouettes of dragons much higher above.

Lammy and Zayza were both silent, yet wide awake. They knew what probably awaited them in the Dream World, and neither was quite ready to return.

“What are your parents like?” Zayza suddenly asked.

Lammy turned to look at her. She was focused on the stars, her expression somber.

“Um…they’re really sweet,” Lammy said. “My mom is always calm, but also a little strict, and my dad is big, loud, and tough. But he’s pretty funny sometimes.”

Zayza smiled. “I wonder what mine are like,” she said. “The Consciousness League…it’s rather peculiar, no?”

Lammy chuckled. “I think it’s really exciting. But why the sudden change in subject?”

“It’s not,” Zayza denied. “I’m just…curious. Kotono and Hiroko said my family used to make me attend special parties with them at Conscious Competitions. I wonder why they were so present at those? Who are they?”

“We’ll find out,” promised Lammy. “Just…hopefully not from the creepy memory monster that wants to kill us.”

“Yes. Hopefully not.”

Their light, occasional conversations continued on in the peaceful night air for hours. While neither said it aloud, they both knew why: falling asleep meant returning to their dangers. The longer they kept each other awake with chatter, the longer they could put it off.

But feeling spent from a full day’s travel, and having another long day of journeying ahead, sleep came to both soon enough.

~

Lammy jolted awake when he felt a nudge. It was still dark out.

“Lammy!”

He turned to find Zayza leaning beside him, rather worked up over something.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Then, returning fully to his senses, he sat up. “I let you fall into the Dream World alone! I’m so sorry—did that thing attack?!”

“No, no that’s not it,” Zayza said quickly. “I found memories! Good ones!”

“You did?”

“Yes—come on in! There’s a whole field of them!” she shared, lying back down comfortably. “I already claimed one—now I can enter the Dream World on command, too! Meet me in there!” She took a long breath, and closed her eyes.

“Oh, that’s awesome!” Lammy exclaimed. “How quickly can you…huh?”

He stopped himself, realizing Zayza was already asleep.

“Oh…that was fast,” he said with a shrug, lying back down. After a minute or so, he sensed Zayza’s presence, and managed to drift back off.

~

Lammy opened his eyes, now high above a pinkish red, hilly landscape, not too different from the one on which he and Zayza rested in reality. This time the clouds were gray and black, and they covered the sky.

Zayza stood perkily atop the tallest hill in her green dress, and she was right: countless round, purple orbs floated all around her. It was spectacular, and considering how scarce they usually were, incredibly encouraging.

Lammy checked around warily: there was no sign of the dark memory shards, or their Zayza-shaped form. Zayza was alone with positive, harmless memories.

This is amazing, Lammy remarked.

I know! exclaimed Zayza. She reached forward, and an orb leaped into her forehead with a flash. There’s a type of cinnamon tea at Honest Stadium in Realistic Fiction Country, and it’s splendid! I must take you someday! Hiroko loves it, she revealed.

With a laugh, she hurried over to another memory, which joined her just as eagerly. This one says…Oh! If you ever need a scarf or sweater, I just remembered how to crochet! I’m quite good, too!

Lammy joined in her laughter. But even still, he observed their environment cautiously. Compared to every other visit to the Dream World, so far, this was going too well.

Oh goodness—don’t wander the streets in Horror Country cities…it’s unsafe—Kotono and I found that out fast, Zayza advised after taking in another memory. Why would we ever visit a reality called ‘Horror Country?’

Beats me, said Lammy. Hey—maybe we should just be—

Huh? This one isn’t working, Zayza realized. She tried touching the memory before her, but her hand went through with no result.

Then, the orb changed shape.

Into a shard.

What?! Zayza and Lammy both exclaimed.

They were far too slow: the shard stabbed straight into Zayza’s head, its force sending her toppling into the rosy grass. She crawled to her knees, looking ahead in terror.

“No…get out…” she begged.

Zayza! called Lammy. What do you see?

A ground…made entirely of spikes and sharp edges…Zayza uttered. Someone falling into it…

Zayza—watch out!! Lammy warned.

While she sat stunned, all of the remaining orbs in the field had transformed into shards, as well. They glowed brightly, and then all at once, sprung straight for Zayza.

NO! Lammy cried. In a panic, he imagined his invisible barrier around her.

But he wasn’t quick enough: several of the memory shards, at least ten, collided with Zayza and rejoined her thoughts. She shrieked and shook, with no other choice but to remember.

The remaining countless other memories collided with Lammy’s barrier, and then floated around it closely as if peering in.

Zayza…? Lammy checked slowly.

Lammy…maybe you’d better stay back, she warned.

What do you mean?

I…I don’t know what to make of this, Zayza said shakily. I don’t know how I’m supposed to interpret this…

The memory shards outside the barrier stirred. They circled close together, and within a moment, took on the shape of Zayza once more.

“You won’t know how until you accept all of me,” it’s jarring, screechy voice pressed.

“Go away,” said Zayza.

“You refused to become one with me, despite the inevitability,” said the monster. “So I had no choice but to fool you. I lured many of your other memories in to cooperate with me. Do you know why they agreed?”

Zayza didn’t respond.

“Because we are all the same,” it finished. “Together, we make up the rest of you. Accept us, or you’ll never be you again. You’ll never be Zayza again.”

“Enough!” Zayza demanded. She charged her green energy into her hands.

“Oh? But you can’t blast me away with this outsider’s shield between us,” the being pointed out. “Tell the outsider to leave us. He doesn’t belong in here, and these are our matters to sort.”

“Lammy stays. He’s my friend; I’m helping him make it home once it’s safe,” Zayza said flatly. “If you were really me, you’d support that. But you don’t.”

“If you were your whole self, you would never do something like that again,” countered the being. “If you remembered, you would understand that the world doesn’t really want our help, even if we can help it.”

“You’re…wrong…” insisted Zayza.

“You only believe so because you lack the context. You forget what happened to us…the things we were forced to do. You forget…why we chose to cast away our own memory.”

What? That can’t be right…Lammy uttered. …Is it?

“It’s true,” Zayza said soberly. “That’s one of the memories I just recovered from the shards. I erased my own memory.”

“But you don’t know why. Don’t you wish to?” asked the shard being. “The only way is to accept the rest of us.”

“That’s not the only way,” countered Zayza. “I’ll hear it from someone I trust.”

“But I am you,” the being argued.

“Even if you are, that’s a problem. Because I don’t trust myself,” said Zayza. She charged even more light energy into her arms and legs. “Lammy, please release the shield.”

What?!

“I’m going to destroy these memories,” she said.

“That’s an impossible task,” the being sneered.

Please, just do it…I cannot look at this monster anymore, came Zayza’s thoughts in Lammy’s mind.

Um…alright, I’ll try to back you, obeyed Lammy reluctantly. Here it goes…NOW!

On Lammy’s signal, Zayza blasted two tremendous beams directly at the being. It collided, sending the shards twisting into the air. But only a moment later, they reconvened in Zayza’s shape and drew close once more.

“Do not deny yourself,” it urged.

But Zayza ignored it, and fired another several attacks. The shards skirted these this time. Gritting her teeth, Zayza shot more and more attacks, but the memories responded naturally, expecting every move.

“So be it,” the being decided. It broke into its own attack, lunging at Zayza and attempting to make contact with her. Zayza narrowly dodged each move, growing closer to failure each time. The being was alarmingly fast, its glistening shriek filling the Dream World air.

Shield again? Lammy suggested hurriedly.

No—it’s fighting too close now, it’ll make it inside, said Zayza, still struggling to avoid the being’s touch. If I can’t fight it, then…perhaps a retreat is necessary.

Looks like we’ll be pulling an all-nighter, Lammy realized.

Not necessarily—we need rest to complete our journey, Zayza explained. Feel for my presence. Or—whatever it is you do.

The shard beast floated back, repositioned, and darted at Zayza head-on. This time, it would achieve its goal.

But then, with a light flash, Zayza vanished.

The being paused, looked around, and then quickly realized its chance was over. It let out some sort of sigh, before dissolving into individual memory shards again.

Even Lammy couldn’t spot where Zayza had gone to from his aerial view—she had left the region entirely. He reached out mentally, searching for her essence. After several moments, he began wondering if she’d left the Dream World, after all.

But then, he faintly sensed her far ahead.

There, he thought.

He called out to the weak feeling with his mind, and soon, it began pulling his awareness forward. The landscape and sky all around obscured as he weaved through the fabric of dream space. Then he slowed, and came to a stop on the side of a silvery, stone plateau. There, Zayza sat in hiding, a small row of orange trees concealing her even further.

I forgot you could do that, Lammy remarked.

Zayza said nothing.

This place feels kind of familiar, noticed Lammy, noting the green and white-blotched field beyond the plateau.

It’s near the area where I—where we fought Fewpar, Zayza answered distantly.

He considered prying about the other dark memories she’ just received against her will, but he could tell it wasn’t the time. You okay? I mean like—given everything?

Zayza ran her hands through the otherworldly grass. I just want to get you to safety…to your family. You’ve already done enough for me, she said. And then I just want to hide from everything.

Well…as far as I’m concerned, you are family, Lammy said. Things will get better, I’ll make sure. And so will Deon, and Kotono, and Hiroko.

Aren’t you scared we’ll fail?

Yeah, terrified, Lammy admitted. But I won’t be if we get to Deon. That’s where it’ll all turn around. You’ll see.

I promise you’ll make it to him, said Zayza.

Lammy smiled—or, if he had a body here, he would.

But for the time being, we’ll have to tactfully stay in hiding, Zayza expressed. If I can’t destroy those memories, they’ll always be able to find me in here. It’s probably best I keep warping to different areas until it’s time to wake up.

Lammy sent a nod of agreement. I’ll follow your lead.

For the remainder of the night, every few minutes or so, Zayza warped to a new location to throw off her trail. Lammy grew better at sensing for her new displacement each time. While he regretted needing to be in constant movement in the Dream World now, too, at least here he didn’t expend any energy.

With each new area of this realm, Lammy marveled in just how odd the Dream World was. Discolored landscapes, reverse raindrops, unnatural sounds, and even mystical creatures appeared wherever they moved to. Thankfully, Zayza’s technique worked: while she sometimes sensed a looming, dark presence approaching, it was never able to hunt them down.

Before they knew it, Lammy and Zayza’s bodies were ready to awaken, summoning them back to the real world morning.

~

It was comfortably warm out today. Lammy and Zayza got up quickly and once again trekked along the wide, straight trail in direct sunlight. Lammy figured he’d get sweaty after a while, but it still beat walking in the rain and mud.

His unease from the past two Dream World visits only increased the longer he walked with Zayza in total silence. It had been a few hours now, and Zayza hadn’t uttered a single word.

He wondered again about new memories she’d recovered in the ambush, but he was too afraid to find out.

“If we manage to get through all of this,” Zayza finally started, “I really must take you to try that cinnamon tea at Honest Stadium.”

Lammy let out a laugh.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I’m just…glad you’re still you.”

Zayza took a moment to prepare her reply. She abruptly faced him. “Lammy, there’s something I remem—”

“Hi!”

Lammy and Zayza both jumped from surprise, and Lammy tripped backwards onto the ground. The voice had come from directly in front of them.

Two red eyes, and two icy blue ones faded into existence before them. Then, the transparent faces of Kotono and Hiroko fully appeared, peering at them through this magical window.

Zayza brought a hand to her chest and took a deep breath as her heart restarted. “Goodness…” she mumbled. “Hello.”

“Isn’t there a less…sudden way to do that…?” Lammy asked as he returned to his feet.

“I’m afraid not,” said Hiroko.

“Oh, s—sorry…” Kotono added.

“Don’t be. It’s wonderful to see you. You both look lovely,” said Zayza. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Or, I hope not,” said Hiroko. “We just want to say hi and see how the hike is going.”

“And give an update,” said Kotono.

“Well…out here, our travels have been uneventful,” Zayza shared. “But…in the Dream World…it’s been getting harder to avoid my dark memories. I’ve accidentally recovered some.”

“Oh…” Kotono and Hiroko muttered.

But Zayza didn’t elaborate, and the champions didn’t even urge her to.

I guess we’re all scared of the truth, Lammy realized. “Um…what was that update you mentioned?” he prompted.

“We’ve been in contact with Skrili, coming across like we’re just chatting,” Hiroko revealed. “She’s so cute. They’re supposed to keep any information about Legend Training private, but she couldn’t help telling us anyway. All we had to do was ask. She and Deon are training a few days’ walk to the west of Conscious City.”

“The Fiction Country one, of course,” clarified Kotono.

“And honestly, that couldn’t be more perfect,” Hiroko continued. “There’s a decent chance you won’t get to them before their training ends, so we have a great backup plan: there’s a Conscious Conference happening a few hours from there. Kotono and I have to go, so we’re going to invite Skrili and Deon.”

“We’re taking a hiatus from Conscious Competitions,” Kotono explained. “The only way to convince our managers to let us was to do this event.”

“We’ll make meet-up plans just outside of the conference with them, in a subtle location,” Hiroko expounded, “but instead of meeting with us, you’ll be there.”

“And you can tell them everything,” finished Kotono.

“We want to be there physically, but our guards are always breathing down our necks—especially at events,” Hiroko said. “We’ll try to help from a distance. And, especially since this communication magic won’t work very well in Fiction Country, we’ll try to see you all at least for a moment.”

“What do you think?” asked Kotono. “Pretty smart, huh?”

Lammy and Zayza smiled.

“It’s a beautiful plan,” said Zayza.

“Well…honestly, it was all Hiroko…” Kotono admitted. “You just have to make it there safe, okay?”

Lammy and Zayza nodded.

“No one’s come to interrupt you guys yet,” Lammy noticed. “Are you less busy?”

“No—we’re blowing off an interview,” Hiroko said plainly.

“We’re hiding in a one-person bathroom. No one’s onto us,” shared Kotono with a devious grin. “We have time. What else do you guys wanna talk about?”

Lammy laughed. “Uh…what’s it like being big-time champ—”

“What happened to Oflenur?” Zayza suddenly burst out. She gazed into Kotono and Hiroko’s eyes intensely.

A pause came over the four consciousnesses.

The couple exchanges worrying glances. “You…remember him now?” Hiroko noted, trying to mask hear utter concern.

“Yes. But I don’t remember everything.”

“Wait—who’s Oflenur?” Lammy asked.

“Someone very important to me,” explained Zayza. “I’m truly sorry Hiroko and Kotono. I know you don’t want to tell me certain things just yet for my protection, but I’m finding out anyway. Please, I must know…from someone I trust. What happened to him?”

Hiroko and Kotono’s confident, eager demeanor from before was now entirely gone. They stared back somberly.

“Oflenur was…Zayza’s lover,” Kotono told Lammy. “Her secret lover.”

“Was?” repeated Zayza urgently.

“Zayza,” Hiroko started. “I’m sorry. Your kingdom executed him.”

~~~

An employee wiped his forehead with a glove-covered hand, and then proceeded on sweeping the white-tiled floor. He wished there were at least one or two clouds in the sky today.

I can’t complain—sure is nice they hire normies like me to maintain the space when there are no tournaments, he thought, inspiring himself to sweep more thoroughly. But still…it would be kind of nice if there were at least one consciousness to help…maybe an imaginer or something. Then this would be a lot easier.

He looked outward, beyond the wide Gloat Stadium platform. Most of the other platforms across here in Gloat Center the sky were equally bare, save for a few other maintenance workers. For the most part, it was like every other day of the gig so far.

But then…there’s those two…the worker thought.

For some reason, for the past hour or so, a spiky black dragon had been gliding from platform to platform. It carried a silver-haired man in ominous, tight clothing, who hopped off after each landing to inspect the area for a few minutes.

Sketchy…the worker thought. He shrugged, and returned to his task.

But after a few more minutes, he heard the dragon’s ferocious wing flaps grow closer. Suddenly, he was under a shade from the sun.

The worker looked up and shrieked: the dragon carried the man just above him, and with a vicious drop, they landed directly next to him. The vibrations knocked the worker onto his back.

Shaking violently, the worker reached for his broom to defend himself. But when the silver-haired man dismounted from the dragon, he didn’t reach for one of his sheathed weapons. In fact, he paid no attention at all.

While the man walked away, the worker couldn’t help but notice a pearly white mug attached to his belt.

“Uh—um…you guys know this place is, uh, closed right now, right?” the worker stammered.

The man turned to face him, his thin eyes piercing through his soul.

I’m gonna die, the worker realized. Don’t talk to strangers: It’s rule number one! I’m an idiot!

“My apologies, we’re just searching for someone,” the man replied calmly. He reached into one of his slim pockets and pulled out a shiny, glistening necklace. Its brilliance reflected against the ground.

The man brought it close, and then took a long, careful sniff. He put it away and took another identical smell of the air.

“And now, we know precisely where they went from here,” he added. “We’ll be on our way now. Xinderzin, our pursuit begins.”

The dragon let out a powerful roar, spreading out its wings as the man expertly hopped into its saddle.

“Time for the fun part!” the dragon growled.

Then with a gust, they took to the sky, a spec in the distance in mere moments.