Conscious, Conscientious

Zayza stood alone in the emptiness of the night, her shivering breath the only sound left to keep her company.

The hushed No Man’s Land forest revisited her mind from when she’d awoken within it months ago, just as stunned and isolated as she found herself right now. But for once, she envied her past self: at least that Zayza had no recollection—oblivious to the tragedies that led to her sudden loneliness.

This time, she had to face it head-on.

She doubted Nahutala or even Hirochota would accept her hope, given Chiwawo’s reaction to it. If she were to continue pursuing this mystery, she had to do it alone.

Once again, Zayza found herself the only one who understood. Just like Azvaylen.

But could she really believe she understood this time?

Ever since she arrived in Hidakala, she’d been experimenting with things she’d never encountered before. The Gods below…the memory triangles…these were complete unknowns.

So why should she lean so heavily on them to prove that a trace of Hiroko still remained? The Dream World molded to Dreamers’ thoughts and feelings. And as she was learning, so did the Tribe Father’s wisdom.

Have I been using all of this as an excuse to validate my wishes? Zayza pondered.

The cold acceptance loomed, threatening to overcome her:

Perhaps Chiwawo is right…that I’m the one in denial.

A tremor.

Shuddering against her planted feet, the sand began vibrating.

Had this occurred earlier in her residence here, Zayza doubted she would’ve taken notice so quickly. Though it was subtle, her new senses latched on immediately. Her soles alerted her brain.

Something was stirring.

Zayza closed her eyes and reached out, just as Chiwawo had taught her. The image came gradually. But she recognized it even before her vision was clear:

A Sand Dragon.

It was less than half the size of the one from today, its triangular head not yet as angular as its elder. But its eyes were just as big and black, and they blinked with curiosity as it swam its way deep beneath the surface.

At first, Zayza’s heart fluttered at the much-needed uplift. Then, it skipped:

The young Sand Dragon was burrowing a familiar path.

Zayza moved. She hurried her way past her tent, then past the others surrounding it, as she trailed the creature's travel. Her eyes were open again, but she could watch it in her mind just the same.

Then another vibration emerged from behind: a much deeper one. It overtook Zayza within moments, and as it did, its culprit joined her mental vision.

An adult Sand Dragon—the same one as before, Zayza presumed—eclipsed its wandering child from above. Wrapping its claylike claw tenderly, it scooped the small dragon and circled around to head back the way they came.

Zayza came to a stop in the center of their turnaround. As the Sand Dragons departed deeper underground, their vibrations eventually weakening to nothing, she stood in place, mind racing.

She knew it: Zayza had found herself at the base of the slopes on the outskirts of the tents, where the guards had first escorted her into Hidakala.

This was the exact spot—the third loop in the Sand Dragon’s repeated route earlier today.

The location of the third stone heart.

Zayza didn’t wait to consider the time of day, nor the scale of the task at hand. At some point within her jog, her drowsiness washed away.

She dropped into the sand and began digging. The sand was lighter now, the moisture from before nearly evaporated, but she hardly paid any mind—even as the holes she made partially filled back up.

She had to find it.

“If I ever leave, please do not forsake your people.”

Maybe the Sand Dragons guided her here. Or maybe she simply pretended they did.

But it didn’t matter, because she was here now.

“If I ever leave, please do not forsake me.”

I need to know, her thoughts raced. Hiroko…I’ll only believe if I here it from you.

But with the last of Hiroko’s memories held hostage in the Dream World, her friend’s only remaining words were right here beneath the sand.

I need to know what I’m trying to do is right.

Please, tell me.

Something like an eternity must have past by in the fog of her determination. Her head just below the surface level, she planted her feet within the hole and reached out through them.

The stone heart was undeniably below her. But it was still much deeper; she would need twice the effort she’d already given to reach it. Clearly, seasons of wind and weather had buried the stone much farther down than Hiroko had placed it originally.

Zayza’s arms and legs shook, her breath heavy.

How did Chiwawo manage this? she bemoaned. I don’t know how I can possibly—

Something stuck into the sand beside her with a dull slice. She found herself too swamped to be startled, gazing at its crude handle.

“Oh by the Gods, not you, too,” came a voice.

Zayza lifted her weary head. Nahutala towered above her at the lip of the small crater, her features hardly visible against the night sky. But Zayza didn’t need light to imagine the admonishing expression she probably wore.

“We are no kingdom, but we do have technology here,” Nahutala teased, showing off a second shovel in her grasp. “Just stick to picking up Hirokyauta’s habits—she was at least a little less blockheaded than her brother.”

Zayza managed a breathy laugh. “You knew I was here…?”

“The Sand Dragons’ burrowing awoke me. When I sensed their path, I figured I would find the two of you here,” she explained. “You are alone?”

“We spoke,” Zayza said feebly, “but then…I fear I offended him deeply.”

She paused, fixated on the gifted shovel before her. The dress she wore suddenly felt foreign against her skin.

“Nahutala…this stone isn’t mine to find. I cannot accept your help,” she stammered. “I’ve complicated things for all of you—”

The sand shifted. Nahutala hopped forward and entered the hole right beside her. She unearthed the shovel, placing it in Zayza’s hands.

Then, without a word, she began digging.

Zayza froze, only able to watch her for a moment. But Nahutala simply continued.

A splash of new energy engulfed the princess. Finally, she gripped the shovel tighter and joined in.

~

Even the moonlight couldn’t reach the women eventually. Their shovels followed the guidance of their feet alone.

And the whole time, neither shared a single utterance.

Zayza had expected to provide an explanation for it all—what she’d done to hurt Chiwawo, the true reason she was searching…everything. She came to close to pouring it out. But Nahutala never asked.

More than that: by Nahutala’s easy demeanor, Zayza guessed she didn’t even need to ask.

She seemed perfectly content with the information she had right now; it was more than enough to earn her help. Her calm smile lingered all the while, as if to accept that she’d understand it all when it was time.

It was a faith Zayza couldn’t comprehend—but one she was certainly grateful for.

“We are close.”

Finally, a break in the silence.

Zayza could feel it before their toes: Nahutala was spot-on. The stone felt closer to Zayza’s shovel, so she gave one last shove.

A clank echoed through the village.

Plucking out the triangular rock was the easy part. But climbing from the hole, especially with hardly any strength left, proved to be the true challenge. Nahutala raised Zayza out on her shoulders, and then expertly navigated the shifting wall to meet her at the surface.

At last, Zayza cradled the third stone heart and flopped into the sand. Hiroko’s final prayer was in her grasp.

“So…how were you planning on reading that once you found it?” Nahutala questioned.

“Oh.” Zayza stiffened. “I suppose I didn’t think that far…”

Chuckling, Nahutala took the stone heart. Angling it to get the most moonlight she could, she squinted to read it. Then she ran her fingers over its many grooves, opting to rely more on feel instead.

Zayza nearly inquired what it said, but her throat had become too tight.

“If I ever return…” Nahutala began.

Zayza’s ears perked. This one already began differently from the others.

“…May it be with a solution.”

Nahutala grew quiet. Silence lingered between them for a moment.

Zayza felt herself deflate. For a stone that appeared to have more letterings than the others, this message turned out much shorter.

But she managed a tired smile.

“Well…in the end,” she figured, “this prayer was answered, like the first.”

But Nahutala still didn’t reply or react. Her eyes remained examining the stone… until they shot wide all at once.

“And also…” Nahutala continued much more steadily.

“There’s more?”

Nahutala nodded. She scanned over the stone again, confirming what she saw was indeed accurate:

“…If I find the princess out there…the one I’ve dreamed and hoped for,” she read, “…may I return with her.”

This time, the silence lasted much longer. Nahutala’s head darted from the stone heart to Zayza, then back to the stone, and back again.

“How…how could she have foreseen…?”

Upon another careful examination, the furrow in her brow loosened.

“Then again…the grammar is a bit off…” she analyzed. “Without context, I cannot tell if she meant ‘the’ princess or ‘my princess.”

‘MY princess…’ Zayza knew.

A deeper smile spread on her face. She’d deduced it even before Nahutala’s elaboration.

“Not me,” Zayza asserted. “Kotono.”

She stood, a hand on her heart like it carried her dear friends inside. She thought back to Chiwawo painting the triangle onto Kotono’s cheek—the largest one anyone had received that night.

“Hiroko was praying that she’d find her love beyond Hidakala…and she did.”

“You are right, my child.”

With a start, Zayza and Nahutala turned. In a purple gown that dragged soundlessly across the sand, Hiroko’s mother approached them.

“Hirochota?” Nahutala greeted in a blend of surprise and concern.

“Your reading is impressive as ever, Nahutala. My eyes could not have managed it in this darkness,” Hirochota praised her. “So…my daughter had learned our written language, after all? It is just like her to keep that a secret."

She laughed, its uncanny match to Hiroko’s once again fluttering Zayza’s heart.

“And Zayza, my dear: you are right,” Hirochota reaffirmed. “But you are also very wrong.”

The gleam in her icy eyes increased.

“H—how so?”

“The Gods below understand our prayers…but they choose to answer them, to empower them, in more ways than we can expect,” she taught. “A new time is coming…and you will be part of the solution.”

Hirochota stepped closer and took Zayza’s had.

“Do not let confusion cloud what you have known from the start, when you fell ill calling out my daughter’s name,” she implored. “You have already begun feeling it, haven’t you? The Gods below have something special in store for the three of you.”

Her hand squeezed tenderly.

“You are the answered prayer, just as Kotono is,” Hirochota insisted. “And just like her, I believe you will be an instrument of change. But to become that…you must do what only you can do.”

Inside the moon’s reflection on Hirochota’s eyes, Zayza could practically picture the blue flame she’d seen restrained in the Dream World.

“The memories…” Zayza uttered aloud.

“You have believed it all along: my daughter left something behind for you to find,” said Hirochota. “Now go where no Hidakalan can. Go and receive it.”

Once more, Zayza’s weariness washed away under Hirochota and Nahutala’s strong, warm gazes. She could feel the years of love they’d poured into Hiroko—and now, they were passing that same support onto her.

Just like she could lean on Lammy, Layla, and the others, she could lean on Hidakala.

Zayza gave a small bow to each of them.

“Hirochota, Nahutala…thank you.”

Out of habit, she pumped her arms like she would to summon her green energy in the Dream World. Then she turned, and darted to begin the trek back to her tent.

If you’re in there, Hiroko…hold on.

With every step, the tribe around her began feeling closer to the Dream World than reality, passing her by as a shadow. All she could truly see was the blue flame burning on in her thoughts, waiting for her return.

She brushed through her tent flap and slid inside before she knew it. The cool sand hugged her legs.

Zayza sighed. She closed her eyes, clasped her hands together before her chest…

~

…And entered the Dream World.

A roar rang out immediately. Zayza only heard the end of it, as if her very arrival was the inciting incident. Its sharp threat only echoed once across the sky before decaying completely.

She opened her eyes and saw her cave steps away. The light blue of Hiroko’s memory triangles remained mixed with the emerald glow of her own orbs.

Then another roar boomed—this one louder. But Zayza wasn’t certain she could consider it a ‘roar.’ Somehow, while it was rabid and animalistic, it was mechanical. Its metallic screeches were familiar in a way that made her skin squirm underneath her Dream World dress.

That sound…I know it.

And yet, it couldn’t deter her. Instead, when she twirled around in a blaze of green to face it, she did so with ferocity.

Just as she’d seen before Chiwawo awoke her last time, the entity had morphed. Now, its transformation was complete: its countless mammoth limbs slammed against the ground, but they somehow left the green and purple grass uninfluenced.

Lacking a face or body of any sort, its core of blackness blocked out much of the sky it occupied. It was jagged and blurry, like a series of rapid motions suspended in time.

And deep within, the faintest blue glow emanated: the final memory triangles trapped within its stabbing grasp.

From here, Zayza couldn’t see that strange blue flame between the triangles anymore.

But she could feel it burning on.

Hoping.

She tried a step forward, which immediately triggered another roar.

“Oh hush, you beast,” she retorted.

Zayza studied the shadowy essence closer. The nature of its blur—its still motion—was just as chilling as the roar.

This energy…I know it, too.

Carefully, she risked one more step.

A dagger of blackness shot from the being, maintaining the shape of its suspended form as it zoomed straight at Zayza. She fired a light beam before herself, bracing for an explosion to launch her backwards.

Instead, however, the shadow began decaying around the light. Its fading pieces brushed past her successful defense, vanishing all around her body.

But Zayza recoiled: for a brief instant, their lingering presence pulled at her. It sucked at her Dream World body from every direction, as if to tear her very being apart along with it.

Then before it could do so, it vanished.

Zayza caught her breath as she felt herself recover. She nearly thought her mind would come apart.

Now at last, she understood.

Proscious.

The white beam Proscious fired in the Dreamer Chamber—the one that took Hiroko’s life—this was the energy from that very same beam.

It had been intended to take a Dreamer’s powers, killing them in the process, and transfer them to someone else. But since Hiroko wasn’t a Dreamer, it couldn’t work.

It destroyed her body…but the mind is abstract, like the Dream World, Zayza knew. That means these memories…

Deep within, she knew it was a possibility all along. But Zayza couldn’t bring herself to consider it.

They’re just the shattered remains of the mind Proscious destroyed.

It was no wonder this dark essence felt like it couldn’t belong in this realm, yet it did. It was artificial, built from her family’s defiled abilities.

But Zayza had no space to harbor terror for this abomination.

This was just another way Proscious took a loved one from her, and that was all that mattered.

She summoned a vicious gust of energy around herself in less than a blink. And even faster than that, she fired.

The giant shadow swerved its center just in time, but Zayza’s blast still vaporized a chunk of its side. She watched as the new gape in its form slowly began to rebuild. Simultaneously, the glowing and shrieks from Hiroko’s trapped memories increased.

So then, if its purpose was to steal from the mind, it isn’t trying to destroy Hiroko’s final memories, Zayza learned. It’s designed to latch onto them—it needs them in order to exist.

Her plan of attack became clear.

Zayza hadn’t unearthed this technique since before she cast away her memories. Given the level of timing and precision required, it would’ve been too risky against Wei.

But it was practically made for this.

Zayza sighed and blinked her eyes slow as a sleepy cat. Preparing to teleport, she felt the numbness grow in her chest.

But instead of allowing the sensation to overtake her, Zayza fell backwards and summoned an orb of energy in her place.

It vanished in her stead, appearing exactly where Zayza had envisioned: off to the side, directly behind the shadow being.

The monster stirred in response to Zayza’s use of energy, but it couldn’t have prepared for the redirection. The blast exploded through the darkness, removing another chunk from the being’s side.

This was only the start: leaving no time for reprieve, Zayza had already regained her footing and begun the process again.

…And again, and again, from every direction.

The beast hardly had a chance to react before a quarter of its essence was blown away. It fired more dark daggers, so Zayza sprung into motion: shifting between teleporting her attacks and warping herself across the grass.

But soon, the counterattacks came slower. Zayza continued her pattern to remain untouchable, but allowed herself an extra glimpse each time for more precise aim.

She was close: as planned, she’d dispelled most of the core around the memories. The remaining darkness naturally inched its way towards them like a magnet, but that only made it a more predictable target.

You’ve done nothing but destroy what’s precious to me, Zayza thought.

Finally ending her technique, Zayza warped forward to face the remaining cluster head-on.

Now, at least I can destroy the monstrosity you created.

Her final two blasts finished the job. Any lingering swirls of shadow unraveled into nothing.

At last, nothing was between Zayza and Hiroko’s remaining memories.

And yet, in the end, she no longer felt the drive to receive them—not with the knowledge of their true nature.

They were just lifeless shards, remains of a friend who was not really here.

The proof of Proscious’s destruction.

Even still, the light blue flame in the center of the triangles continued burning. Zayza watched it, once again feeling her fallen friend’s presence. Perhaps it was the manifestation of Hiroko’s personality—of what made her unique.

The triangles fluttered after a moment. Their brilliance dimmed a bit, and Zayza spotted blotches of blackness along the edges.

Then, they began falling.

Zayza wasn’t sure why she dove to catch them. She had her answer for this phenomenon, and it was the worst one she could imagine. She hadn’t yet received the ‘truth’ Hirochota believed awaited her here, but what was the point, now? Why should she care?

She didn’t know why, but she did.

Suddenly, within their freefall, the memories shivered before Zayza’s outstretched hands.

In a flash, they pounced forward into Zayza’s head.

~~~~~~~~

I want to give. Why are they stealing from me?

I want to help. So why are they hurting me?

Why do I even exist?

Zayza’s senses had gone blank. But then again, they were back.

She found herself near the top of the Curving Peak in the afternoon. The sky was transforming before her.

All at once, she could finally remember the visions she’d seen up here last time…because they were appearing once again:

A dark cave. Drawings of figures on stone.

A tearful girl’s wound reversing itself to health. Loving waves of farewell.

A chain of scales surfing through the sand. The black eyes of a colossal being.

She felt young and old all at once.

“You’re wrong! We can still make everything right again!”

“‘It’s never too late for anyone, anywhere.’ That’s what you told us! You said we exist to make sure that’s true!”

Where are these voices coming from? Zayza wondered. Which realm am I in?

“We can do it. We’ll stop Proscious before they can start. We have the power, and that power is never going away.”

“…Don’t you believe us?”

A power that’s never going away…? Zayza wondered. Stop Proscious…BEFORE they start?

…Huh? What is this…? Am…am I dead?

Zayza’s heart nearly stopped. That wasn’t her own thought, but she recognized it instantly.

Hiroko?

~~~~~~~~

Zayza blinked. Her senses reset yet again.

She stood just as before, alone in the Dream World with the lingering flame.

Why…why was all of that Hiroko’s memories…? she contemplated. Those were her final thoughts…?

Everything felt weightless.

I’d better awaken and speak with the others, she resolved. There is so much to explain…yet I fathom hardly any of it.

And besides…I need to apologize to Chiwawo.

I was wrong.

Zayza prepared herself, focusing on her form. But with her mind racing, she was all but oblivious to the new, sparkling activity in her surroundings.

If she had closed her eyes a second too soon, she would’ve missed it:

Hundreds of Hiroko’s memory triangles were gathering around her—and one by one, they’d begun combining into a new form.