Conscious, Conscientious

The door to the lab slid open when Pang raised her SquadScreen to the scanner. She hugged her jean jacket closer—it was chillier in here than she remembered.

The main lobby was empty, aside from a single worker at the front desk. It came as no surprise—after all, it was getting late. The outside dimness caused the few active lights in this room to cast long shadows.

Pang wondered what her teammates had chosen to do with the rest of their evening. Sneaking away from them was easy enough: all she had to say was that she was going for a walk, and nobody questioned it.

Then again, perhaps Aoi did. She appeared to stare at her extra keenly in response, unless Pang was imagining things.

But that was it. For all they knew, Pang could be attempting another escape. But it seemed that potentiality didn’t concern them anymore.

It sure made her current situation a lot easier, but it also twisted her gut. Had she really become so obedient? What did that say about her ambition?

Had she given up on getting out?

The desk worker seemed just as unconcerned when she approached. Pang checked her SquadScreen again for the directions Gage provided.

“Uh..Lab GX,” she requested.

“Mhm. 8th level. I’ll clear you.”

Pang approached the door the worker pointed to, attributing their innocent compliance to her status as a Rank-A member.

She refused to believe she was no longer a risk to these people.

The door to the elevator opened, and she ascended in silence.

“I think it’s time I tell you something about your purpose here in Proscious. Something only I know.”

Pang opened that message again for the dozenth time.

‘The heck did he mean by that? she wondered.

The sinking second thoughts crept in that perhaps she shouldn’t have come alone. But by Benton and Irma’s obvious hesitation about him, she knew they would never have let her do this.

“If you got anything you wanna talk out…especially about that Gage fella,” Benton had cautioned, “well, I’m all ears.”

Pang caught herself evening her jacket back out and tidying her hair.

I must be a moron, she told herself.

The elevator slowed to a stop. The door buzzed.

Either way, it’s too late now.

The room she entered was even darker than the rest of the facility. It was a long hallway, but the only active light was the one above the deep blue tiles where she stood.

Even still, she could sense there was much more going on here than it appeared. No workers were present—not even Gage—but she could hear the constant, low hums and subtle beeps of slumbering machines within this hall, and far beyond it.

This lab was enormous.

Pang checked her SquadScreen again, but Gage hadn’t sent any updates.

“…Hello…?” she called out.

Silence.

Uncertain, Pang began gradual steps deeper into the hall. The light above faded as she left it behind, and another welcomed her. This repeated every few steps.

“Uh…Gage?”

She neared the end of the hall, which intersected with three more just like it. Pang observed one of the walls to her side—and then she paused.

A clear door rested within it, leading to a much smaller, darker room. There was a glowing control panel to its side much like the others in the building. But from what she could tell, this transparent door opened from the bottom up like a gate.

Pang searched around. Finally, she could see them: more tiny rooms continued all along each wall, with just enough space for the control consoles between them.

What’s the big evil project in this place?

She peered closer into the nearest one, the light above her illuminating it slightly better than the others. Something appeared to be on the floor, mostly concealed in the dark against the back wall.

Then, part of it shifted. Pang froze.

A leg.

A person was in there.

These were cells.

She nearly pounced at the sound of the elevator door sliding open again behind her.

“Oh good—you’re already here.”

Pang turned to find Gage’s calm wave. His face glowed against the brief flame of his lighter as he sparked his Tolerator cigarette to life. He observed the box he’d shaken it from.

“Whoops. Last one.”

Gage pressed a button beside the elevator, and all of the hallway lights brightened as one to a dull, cozy glow.

Pang checked the cell again. She could barely make out the rest of the occupant’s frame—a young woman with long hair. But she kept her head turned away and hugged her knees to her chin.

“Welcome,” Gage said to regain Pang’s attention. “I meant to give a little intro on our way in, but maybe this is better. Why don’t I show you around?”

When his quiet steps reached her and passed by to lead the way, though, Pang stayed put. Her glare glued to him.

“What’s wrong?”

She crossed her arms, defensive instinct seeping in as she analyzed the cells all around them. Pang chuckled.

“Come on. Let me take a wild guess,” she said. “You’re gonna lure me deeper in with this ‘tour,’ sweet-talk me up a bit…and then I’ll end up in one of these cages. Am I right?”

Gage only laughed with her. “Well, I call them ‘dorms.’ They’re not that bad,” he assured. “But no. You won’t spend a second in here. Not anymore. You’re much too special, Pang.”

She hesitated still. But even if she didn’t buy it, what could she do? Gage could stop any attempt at retreat if he wanted to.

I might as well play along.

Besides, Gage seemed so confident in his harmless intent, he clearly felt no need to defend it. His excitement to see her, his warmth, was genuine. Perhaps he’d been anticipating this particular moment.

Pang couldn’t refuse her curiosity. She wanted to know why.

And on top of that, why choose here of all places, where they were surrounded by prisoners?

“I have no secrets from you,” Gage said. “This is one of the places where we keep a division of our recruits.”

Her eyes still lingering on the cell, Pang finally followed him. They turned at the intersection to begin down a longer hall much like the first.

Gage’s stroll was familiar. She’d seen it back on Artifex, when Pang won the death matches to ascend with her father higher in the sinking ship. The top few floor keepers showed off their increasingly luxurious levels with that same walk.

They were all dead, now.

“This is where you were supposed to stay, too, before you got them dragging you to Zone Z,” he continued. “But Irma really saved the day, convincing them to accelerate your rank so she could watch over you. She must see a glimpse of what I see in you.”

She saw herself, Pang knew.

“Irma actually beat me to the punch,” Gage revealed. “I’d never let them stick you in Zone Z, either. That’s the end of the road.”

“You would’ve saved me, too?” Pang asked.

Gage slowed his walk so he could look directly into her eyes, his smile softening. His gaze cradled her, and through them she could see his heart shattering at the fact that she needed to ask that.

“You really have no idea, do you?” he replied, his voice nearly breaking into a whisper. “How special you are? How needed you are?”

“Um…no, I guess not.”

Her chest squeezed at the ensuing thoughts of Phillip, Skrili, and the others.

“That’s been a little hard for me to believe, lately.”

Gage stopped and faced her fully.

“Well, that’s why I thought it was time to show you this place, after all,” he reasoned. “You have purpose in Proscious, Pang. Belonging.”

“…And if Irma hadn’t bailed me out, I was supposed to find that in this sketchy lab?” challenged Pang. “If you’re trying to rizz me up or something, this is a weird way to do it, Gage.”

Laughing, Gage remained his pace and left a trail of sweet smoke from his mouth. He raised his hand to display the cells they passed. “I mean it. Everyone in here has played a vital part in your purpose—before even I knew it.”

In the cell they walked by, someone was sitting much closer to the glass barrier. It was another young woman—no, a girl, close to Pang’s age. She perked up at the sight of Gage, even rising to her knees.

But when she noticed Pang beside him, color deflated from her as fast as it came.

She looked Pang up and down, an unspoken acceptance sinking into her clouding eyes.

Predictor, Pang sensed of the girl’s powers. The sense weakened when they walked away and neared the next cell.

Touchvert, was the type that followed.

That girl was by the back corner, absently brushing her hand against the wall and floor, her vacant eyes oblivious to Gage and Pang’s presence.

Reverser, she read of the next. No—Analyzer. No…both.

Though she could feel it clearly, it was a muddier signal—like how Irma and Benton’s powers felt. Clearly, one or both of her powers were artificial.

Pang’s head began to throb. The girl was staring at the ceiling, blinking over and over like doing so would eventually solve all her problems. If Pang hadn’t focused on her powers in time, the pain would have been unbearable: the girl was switching between types infinitely.

She flinched every time, like each switch sent a stabbing jolt through her own body. The skin around her eyes had gone red.

Pang tried to block out the girl’s occasional whimpers as they continued further down the hall.

The next few powers were pure again, followed by a blend of murky Proscious-given abilities. Every occupant had at least one power. Every occupant was young and female.

They turned down yet another hall.

“You like your teammates, Pang?” Gage inquired.

“They’re a bunch of goofballs.”

“Yep. Good people. Wei knew exactly who to surround himself with,” Gage reminisced. “And Wei was just as good of a man.”

He paused for his cigarette.

“We joined Proscious on the same day, and we came up together,” he said. “When we hit Rank-C, we even tried starting a little band with Danek.”

“Is that why everything you say sounds like a lyric?” questioned Pang.

Gage’s laugh caught the attention of several nearby inmates. “We were always together. Well—until the night he found Aoi. Just like that, they became inseparable.”

One of the girls hurried to her door, and her unblinking stare on Gage didn’t cease until they’d passed her by.

“It didn’t bother me. Actually, it warmed my heart watching Wei and Aoi together,” he continued. “It really inspired me. It…transformed me. Because…”

He let out a puff of smoke.

“He’d found the one. The girl he’d do anything for.”

“…Gage…?”

A voice came through the weak speaker on one of the control consoles, perking Pang’s ear. The young woman inside the cell lifted her sleepy head from her cot.

But with nothing more than a quick wave of acknowledgement, Gage moved along.

“So Aoi had a guy? Wouldn’t have thought,” commented Pang.

She felt her steps grow mechanical—like if she didn’t think through each one, she would trip over herself. That stiffness alone had prompted her to fill the silence with her voice.

Thankfully, it had come out naturally enough: Gage couldn’t sense her now-pounding heart.

That made it all the easier to convince herself it wasn’t pounding at all.

And that meant she didn’t have to wonder why.

“You know, he never said if it was that kind of love,” shared Gage. “But…it was definitely love. At its rarest. At its most beautiful.”

Suddenly, Pang couldn’t look him in the eye anymore.

“Your heart is golden, Pang,” Gage told her. “You know that?”

A chuckle escaped her. “If you think that, you definitely don’t know me.”

“I know about Artifex. About all the people you were conditioned to kill even as a little girl. About your father. I’ve read it,” he persisted. “But when you got out, what did you do? You travelled everywhere and fought with everything to save your friend Phillip. It’s golden, Pang. As gold as your eyes.”

She almost jolted when his tender fingers reached her to raise her chin.

“So don’t hide them,” he said. “I’ve looked towards their sunlight, ever since I saw the footage of your Conscious Competition.”

Hey. Don’t touch me…were the words that flashed in her head.

And yet, she did nothing to stop him.

“Your heart, Pang, is the same shade as the heart of Proscious,” Gage said.

“Oh, goodie. That’s supposed to be a good thing…?”

Next, she nearly shivered. Gage’s arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder, and the other stretched out to display an unseen world.

“Picture a Multiverse where a place like Artifex didn’t have to happen. Where Phillip immediately had access to the healing he needed,” his words painted, “because every reality gets the exact powers they need to sustain themselves, with just the right people to use those powers. That’s the Multiverse you’re helping create now that you’re here in Proscious.”

His arm wrapped her closer.

“After all you’ve been through, it’s a Multiverse you deserve to see,” he added. “And I’ll do anything to make sure that happens.”

All at once, the stiffness in Pang’s walk subsided.

Her heart slowed.

And like a wall—like one of these countless glass cages—a single question blocked her mind from contemplating it any further.

“Why?”

Gage’s smile warmed even further. “Because your heart and story—they give me my strength. Just like your gorgeous colors, your natural red and gold, strengthen my powers—”

“I mean why do ‘anything’ for me?”

Embers fell before her from Gage’s cigarette—now more of a stub than anything. He removed it, disappointed with its quickly deteriorating state.

“I…I thought I just told you,” he said.

Something about the slight shift in lighting made Pang glance forward. At last, they were reaching the end of the lab.

But instead of finding something along the lines of a main control board, or a team of technicians, it was just a wall. The last few cells were before them, and nothing followed.

It was simply the end of the halls.

Gage guided Pang to this wall, and turned around with her to face their endless and silent audience.

“Four-hundred and thirty-three,” Gage uttered.

“Huh?”

He attempted another huff, only to find the cigarette had nothing more to offer him. Gage tossed it into a corner.

“Four-hundred and thirty-three,” he repeated. “That’s how many recruits are in here. We walked by 120.”

For once, Pang didn’t know how to reply. His speech was accelerating. Sharpening.

“It’s funny; you kept turning down our recruiters. Remember? First, at the Conscious Competition ceremony. Then at your Certification Training with Skip.”

Instinctively, he almost reached for his empty cigarette box. His breath shuddered.

“You’re good at playing hard-to-get, aren’t you, Pang? And you’re so strong,” he continued on. “I knew Wei understood my passion, though. I asked him if he could lend us Benton and Irma. They’re good people—the Azvaylen mission was burning them out. So when he offered it, they jumped to catch a break from there.”

Either Pang’s shoulder was quivering, or Gage’s hand was trembling against it.

“I guess I never told them that request came from me.”

When Pang tried to shift, Gage’s arm pulled her closer. The fruity fumes turned chemical up-close.

“Where are you going, Pang?” he asked, his voice rising beyond its velvety tone. “I worked my way up the ranks with Wei. I became a recruitment manager. One by one, I approved the captures and recruitments of 433 girls we flagged as anomalous. Sure, it was for Proscious…but to be honest, it was so I could find the one. Like Wei found in Aoi.”

Pang went numb.

“When my recruiters showed me your file, I knew it was over. I found you: the girl I’d do anything for. And now, you’re finally here,” he marveled. “Now your tragedies have meaning. We’ll save the Multiverse together, and I’ll hold you every step of the way.”

Despite her lack of feeling, Pang found herself more than capable enough to slip from his grasp before his arm could clamp down. Pang turned to him, fists tight.

“You’re the reason…” she uttered, “I ended up here?”

He let out a harsh cough. In the way his skin wrinkled, the smoothness in his face gave way to years of restlessness.

“Um, Gage…”

A young woman’s voice came amplified thinly through the console at the final cell.

Her face peaked close, her long hair a shimmering yellow and her eyes emerald. She pressed her hands against the glass gate.

“Is—is it time to go walk outside? You used to take me walking outside…” she reminded him like the chance would never come again. “Hey, you…you used to let me…you, know, see the sky. M—maybe c—could I…see it again?”

At last, Gage’s smile was dead.

Everything in Pang went hot.

“You’re sick,” she growled. “You’re sick.”

Gage merely rolled his eyes. “Come on, Pang,” he urged, inching closer.

But Pang took a step back. As much as her instinct screamed to clock him in the head, she stood no chance all alone.

“Really? You’re mad at me?” he pressed with another step. “After I gave you purpose? After I put you before everyone?”

“I don’t know you, dude.”

“I chose you over 433 others.”

“You’re a creep.”

Her backwards steps sped up with his increasing advance. Pang braced herself: she could sense a shift in his active powers.

Something was turning off.

“You’re in Proscious now. We can make sure Artifex never happens again. We can heal the sick. There’s no getting out, so why not embrace that calling?”

“Who says I need your help to do any of that?” shot Pang. “If I’m stuck here, I’ll do it myself.”

“NO!!”

Pang winced. She watched Gage’s nose curl into an ugly snarl, and his eyebrows twist in panic. He fought to reel it back.

“Sorry, sorry. There’s a reason they were so bent on giving me Tolerator powers,” he tried laughing off. “Only the cigarettes work.”

His hands closed into fists and opened repeatedly. His knuckles cracked.

“Get away from me,” muttered Pang.

“Don’t say that! Why would you say that?!” shouted Gage. “Name it, and I’ll do it. Let’s get revenge all the friends who left you behind! They killed Wei—we have a common enemy now! A connection! IT’S FATE!!”

“You’re a freak.”

“We’ll find your father! We’ll kill him!! WE’LL KILL YOUR FATHER TOGETHER!!”

All Pang wanted was to turn and run. But she couldn’t risk turning her back to him. She sped her pace, nearly stumbling.

“I didn’t say you could leave, Pang!” Gage barked. “Be mine!!”

“WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS GOIN’ ON IN HERE?!”

That roar shook the floor under Pang’s feet. Sheer terror rattled her rapid heart, nearly stopping it. Both she and Gage froze to a halt at the power.

Several of Gage’s prisoners shuddered and shrieked.

Pang couldn’t bring herself to turn and find the source. But she saw Gage look past her, and his fear quelled to the twitching frown of an agitated animal.

“I didn’t clear you for this lab, old man,” he jeered. “This is none of your business.”

“Well I heard just about enough t’know I’m makin’ it my business, boy.”

Finally, Pang turned.

Benton stood wide down the hall, every muscle of his titanic frame flexed solid. His shirt had ripped, his gray skin showing through like it was made of metal.

But his face was the most hardened. And though Pang was staring right at it, her gaping eyes unable to look away, she couldn’t comprehend this expression.

It turned her weightless, and that was all she understood.

“Benton?”

“Come’ere and get behind me, kiddo. This guy’s a bad, bad apple.”

Instantly, he’d shifted to his usual, lulling tone. No—even softer.

Maybe it was the nature of his coddling words, or the way his drastically larger stature eclipsed hers as he approached—but for a moment, Pang’s mind flashed back to a state she’d forgotten: that of a little girl’s.

The impulse begged her to run and take shelter in his shadow.

But the terror of that very idea planted her feet.

Nonetheless, Benton worked his way past her, now a fortress between her and Gage.

“When I say it,” Benton signaled calmly, “I gonna need you to run.”

Finally, Pang jolted back to herself.

Is he stupid?!

“WRONG!” snapped Gage. “You’re staying with me! You’re here for me! ME!!”

Pang could sense it firing through her mind: Gage’s Colorist powers had leapt to full activity. And his focus—as always—was squarely on her.

Red hair, golden eyes.

Attack. Strength.

And yet, Benton cracked his knuckles, not a waver in his movements.

“That so?” he dared.

“Wait—what are you doing?!” Pang protested.

“Back in my time, Leaguers used to call one a’ these a ‘backstage tussle,’” he said evenly.

“He’s probably way stronger than us!”

“Sure is. Even makes Danek look like a wuss,” Benton agreed. “But if I can help it, he ain’t ever gettin’ near ‘ya again.”

“You can’t help it,” damned Gage. “Nothing will keep us apart.”

“Well I’m sure gonna try.”

Pang’s mind spun.

No, Benton! You idiot! Why?!

“Pang, darlin’,” came his voice in one final plea. “You gotta listen to ‘ole Benton on this one, alright? Now, go ahead and run to—”

“NO!!”

Pang’s eyes squeezed shut. On its own command, she felt her body wrap around his monstrous arm and latch tight.

“BENTON, DON’T!!”

His arm was nearly rock-solid against her, and yet, it was warm.

The men fell silent. A wordless moment passed throughout the lab. All Pang could hear were her own jagged breaths.

Finally, came a single utterance—hollow, and cold.

“…Fine.”

Pang opened her eyes. She tried to pretend the dampness on her cheeks was in her mind, but Gage’s stare confirmed her tears.

He was neither serene nor agitated anymore.

Just empty.

“I’d do anything for you, Pang. But I upset you,” he spilled out. “And it’s obvious: hurting him would only upset you more.”

Coming around to herself, Pang released Benton’s arm.

“So for now…just…go. Both of you.”

He said nothing else. Every prisoner in the hall had come close to their gates, their wide stares pressing on Pang. The room seemed to spin. Once again, she couldn’t move.

Benton let out a long, rumbling sigh.

“Well…come on, kiddo.”

Benton’s hand lifted to lightly guide her by the back.

His contact didn’t stab. It was gentle. It wouldn’t leave a bruise; it would only comfort her.

And yet, she shrunk away.

“Pang?”

She stared back, but couldn’t speak.

This didn’t make any sense.

He’d been a second from throwing his life away, and for who? Somebody he’d only known for weeks? Somebody he only met because he was forced to kidnap her?

How could she be worth that?

What did he want from her?

Gage wanted power and romance. Her father wanted rescue. Phillip got healed.

What would Benton get out of this?

“It's just fun seein’ you give your all and growin’!”

Yesterday's words coddled her mind, just as his hand had attempted to console her.

Why would he feel that way…?

Why…does it make me feel so…?

Benton took a careful step. But like a trigger, Pang backed up again.

“Pang…”

She turned and began storming away without him. The motion came without thought. Whatever was happening in her head was unknown. That made it unsafe.

And Benton was the source.

Pang’s eyes were open, and the halls remained lit, but she couldn’t see. Her mind clouded everything. So when she turned the corner, she bumped right into someone’s fragile frame.

Somehow, the sense of security, of connection, was immediate before she even looked.

“Aoi?”

Her robed friend stood blankly before her.

Then that’s how Benton got in here, Pang deduced. They figured me out, after all.

Static invited itself shyly into her thoughts.

“I didn’t understand like Irma and Benton. Pang…I’m sorry.”

It came in a collection of others’ past utterances, chopped together into one. But it was more real than simple speech.

Pang could feel the confusion meet her mind. The mourning.

She reached and grabbed Aoi’s sleeve-covered hand, shaking her head to dispel the concern.

“It’s…it’s nothing,” she muttered. “I just wanna go to bed. Can you get me outta here?”

Aoi nodded.

With a blink, they left the lab behind.