Conscious, Conscientious

Zayza's senses faded in slowly. Something soft cooled her forehead.

Like combing through a dark room, her mind shuffled to recall her whereabouts. Was it morning? What was her most recent recollection?

That's right…

The light blue memory orb.

No–memory triangle.

She could replay Hiroko's words clearly, as if her fallen friend was here with her now:

"If anything, I still think love can carry on after we die. What do you think?"

But it sounded like it had come from her own mouth–as if in the memory, she was Hiroko.

She tried to gather herself again. If that discovery was the last thing she could remember, that last placed her in the Dream World. Which meant now, she was awake.

But…why did I go into the Dream World in the first place…?

All at once, it came back. Zayza's eyes burst open.

She gasped, rushing to sit up–but a coarse hand immediately guided her back down.

"Not yet, young light-skin," someone insisted with a patient laugh.

Zayza watched the same hand replace the towel on her forehead with another colder, wetter one. She was grateful this person had stopped her–she had already grown dizzy from that minor motion alone.

"She is conscious," she heard her apparent caretaker call over to someone.

"Thank the Gods…"

Zayza knew that voice. She turned her head to follow it immediately, ignoring the ensuing spin in her vision.

"Hiro…?"

But when her sight recovered, her heartbeat calmed again.

"...chota," she finished. "Ma'am…"

Hirochota crouched over her, relief flooding her eyes, and towering over them both sat Chiwawo beside her.

Right…what was I thinking?

Zayza attempted to sit again, and this time, the caretaking hands supported her up. She met the woman's face to find an old, nearly toothless smile, with white freckles around her shaking jaw.

Chiwawo leaned closer. "Princess…uh…welcome back," he greeted guiltily. He reached over her and retrieved a roll of bread.

But before he could hand it to her, the old lady's hand swooped in to snatch it away, replacing it just as smoothly with another softer roll.

Zayza gazed at them all, awkwardly accepting the nourishment. The fabric of a tent was behind them, featuring a different pattern than the one she'd slept in the night before. Daylight shone brightly from its flap, but they all sat out of its reach within the shade.

Attempting to gather herself, Zayza opened her mouth to apologize. But somehow, the attempt left her winded.

Why am I breathing so heavily? she wondered.

Bringing a hand to her face, her cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"You frightened us quite a bit," Hirochota said. "You broke into a horrible fever."

"Mm. It's finally going down," assured the old woman. "Eat."

She nudged Zayza's bread-filled hand closer to her mouth. Arms shaking, Zayza took a bite.

"Look at the poor thing, Chiwawo," Hirochota chastised. "I told you to give her the skin cream!"

"I did, Mother."

"Did you apply it correctly?"

"Did I apply it?! I'm not going to invade an outsider's privacy like that!"

"Silliness…a big boulder of a man, but too shy to even touch a beautiful woman–"

"It wasn't the skin cream, Mother!"

"He's right."

The mother and son finally paused their bickering. They returned their eyes to Zayza.

"This was my fault. I didn't take care of myself before the hike," she said. "I'm…sorry to cause you this much trouble already."

Hirochota's eyebrows furrowed. "Hike?" she repeated. "To where?"

Chiwawo seemed to squirm. "The princess is mistaken. It wasn't her fault, it was only mine."

"To WHERE, Chiwawo?"

He had already begun inching away bit by bit. "Just…to the Curving Peak."

"WHAT?! THAT FAR?!"

Faster than Chiwawo could dodge, he found himself drenched in a splash of water from the bowl his mother splattered on him.

"Are you trying to kill her, boy?! Go away and find your brain!"

Chiwawo had already broken into a retreat for the tent flap. But he paused and turned back to Zayza for a moment.

"Princess…uh, sor–"

A piece of bread bounced against his face.

"Let her rest! Go away, my boy!"

He wandered off, some of the crumbs settling in his purple curls.

Zayza sat stiffly in the ensuing silence, unsure how to react appropriately.

"Eat, eat."

The nurse nudged the bread near her mouth again, only adding to her discomfort. But denying would simply garner more attention, so Zayza took a bite.

Beside her, Hirochota shook her head.

"I give him one task. One task: just look after this lovely young woman," she said, seemingly to herself. "And he immediately puts her through the most difficult climb in the region."

Well…I almost made it…Zayza told herself a bit begrudgingly. If only I had eaten something, he'd be surprised what an Azvaylen princess can handle.

She remembered his almost teasing tone when he offered to take her. But then, the sober intent she saw on his face had triggered her intrigue.

"He said he wanted to show me something up there," Zayza shared. "Do you know what that was supposed to be?"

Hirochota and the old lady exchanged knowing glances.

"That Chiwawo…" the lady snickered.

"Softest heart," started Hirochota.

"But the thickest skull," they finished together, Hirochota's fond smile finally returning.

Though they didn't answer her, Zayza couldn't help but let out a laugh at their reaction. While the heat in her face was weakening, her heart warmed.

"If that's the case, he really is Hiroko's brother…" she commented.

The women nodded. But though their smiles remained, something in their softening gazes spiked Zayza's concern. At first she'd wondered if she shouldn't have mentioned Hiroko again so soon.

But she could tell that wasn't the real issue. Their eyes peered straight through Zayza, revealing they'd seen something in her that she wasn't aware of.

"Eat, my child."

Hirochota said it this time, so gentle it was almost a whisper. With those words, Zayza realized their concern wasn't just for her physical state.

What…happened?

~

Only after she successfully finished two rolls and a bowl of water did Hirochota and the elder woman allow Zayza to wash up and leave the tent.

She was still a bit shaky as she stepped outside, but nowhere near as unsteady as she'd been when they neared the 'Curving Peak,' as Chiwawo had called it.

Zayza could see it from here: the largest hill overlooked Hidakala from a great distance. With the sun still blazing against the sand, she had no idea how much time had passed from the tip of the dune to now.

"I'm glad you are on your feet, Princess."

"Oh!"

Zayza twirled around, hand on her restarting heart as she turned to the face of the tent, where Chiwawo stood tall.

He scratched his head. "I'm sorry. That's the second time I've startled you now."

"No, it's alright…" Zayza breathed. "I thought you went away."

"It is my responsibility to watch over you," Chiwawo explained evenly, but his eyes lowered along with a sigh. "And so far I've only failed. Princess…I'm sorry I put you through such a challenge so quickly."

Zayza's gaze found the Curving Peak again. The village had appeared so tiny from up there.

"How did I get all the way back here?" she questioned.

"I carried you, of course," said Chiwawo plainly.

"All the way back?"

"Easily," he confirmed. "You are much too light, Princess. If you want to live well in Hidakala, you will have to grow your muscles."

Zayza pouted. "Well…thank you," she mumbled.

Then, she took a decisive step forward from the tent.

"Where are you off to?"

"Building muscle requires exercise, no?" Zayza called back. "Whatever you wanted to show me up there, I accept your challenge again."

She didn't get very far before she felt a massive hand rest on her shoulder to keep her in place.

"Oh, no you don't. Not today," Chiwawo stressed.

The village before her rocked around in her vision for a split second. She refused to reply, but she knew he was right.

Chiwawo stepped around her to face her again. "If you'd like to learn of Hidakala, let me take you somewhere much easier. We'll start at the edge."

"Of your borders?" Zayza guessed.

Chiwawo began leading the way, heading in a direction opposite to all the distant sandy hills.

"Of our history," he replied.

~

Soon enough, it became clear where Chiwawo intended to bring her. And this time, thankfully, it didn't require any uphill treks. Actually, the ground began lowering into a subtle decline.

As they passed by the final tent before the lake, the sand flattened and dampened under her feet. The sun's reflection against the water met Zayza's face.

Just the same, it highlighted Chiwawo's toned form. And he stayed much closer to her this time than their last trip, making it all the more clear.

He said it was easy, Zayza thought, but carrying someone for such a distance is no simple feat…

The sky tinted the slightest bit orange, only beginning to approach the desert horizon.

And if it's still this light out, he must have moved incredibly fast.

Chiwawo neared the very center of the shore, which spanned beyond the width of the village on both sides. Much like the flock of four-legged ostriches Zayza noticed lingering along the adjacent shore, Chiwawo lowered to the sand and allowed the trickling waves to reach his toes.

Zayza joined him, eager for the opportunity not to stand for another while. The serenity of Lake Hirokyauta flooded her senses from all around. With nothing more than the occasional splash of fish or the birds hunting them, it managed to hush the busy noises of the village. She watched the water reach her feet and brush away the mud and sand.

Surrounded by nothing but Mainland Desert, this manufactured body of water hardly looked like it belonged. And yet, that added to its spectacle.

"It's…just gorgeous," Zayza said, escaping her mesmeric state when she remembered she had company.

"It's the only reason this habitat can survive," Chiwawo shared. "When they finished the lake–enough for us to start coming back, I mean…it was almost like Hirokyauta had come home to us."

He stared further into the waves. "So I would spend hours here every day," he said. "Even now. I came and sat here after the Mourning Ritual until sunrise, before Mother found me and asked me to look after you."

Chiwawo's icy eyes turned to her, but for a moment, he fell wordless. By the time Zayza noticed, he glanced away.

"I'm beginning to understand why it took so long for Hirokyauta to connect with us again," he said softly. "She found a new family of outsiders. And, clearly, that family knew how precious she was."

Zayza wondered if he was reflecting on what he'd seen at the Mourning Ritual. But it happened again: he wore that same expression she'd received from Hirochota and the nurse back in the tent.

Did I…do something?

"After your fever started earlier," he said, "you kept calling for Hirokyauta in your sleep. Like you were trying to find her."

Zayza blushed.

Then in an instant, his words flashed her thoughts to the Dream World.

Flying from field to field, and mountain to mountain…

Calling across the sky…

She finally remembered: after she received that memory triangle, she'd spent the rest of her time in search of Hiroko.

It felt illogical now, but…after that triangle joined her mind, she could hear Hiroko's voice. She knew she could.

And she could replay it over and over, just like one of her own memories…even though it was from Hiroko's perspective.

How could that have happened?

And…

She watched the water's reflection deepen as the day grew older.

…Are there more?

"To be honest…you made me realize I'm doing the same thing…searching in empty air," Chiwawo said. "I think that's why I spend so much time on this shore. It feels like her soul rests here…even though I know it's gone."

"It's not."

Zayza immediately wished she'd held her tongue. But that must have been all over her face, because Chiwawo only gave a forgiving smile.

"You have much to learn about the Hidakalan faith, Princess," was all he said.

She knew that fact alone was true, but she doubted he'd point out her ignorance if he knew what she saw.

…If he knew of the gift she'd received.

No. I can't tell him.

Chiwawo swiftly wiped his eyes before Zayza could even notice any tears.

It was the same reason she refused to tell Kotono, or the village, when she felt the initial aura: she still had no grasp on what this was. Its hidden truth had just as much propensity to cause harm as healing.

Why should she risk giving them empty hope? What if no meaning came from this phenomenon?

And why should they even believe something so unbelievable?

No. If I ever plan on telling them what happened, Zayza resolved, I have to investigate deeper first.

For their sake.

She allowed herself to hear Hiroko's memory once more. Her heart fluttered.

…And for mine.

"I will admit, though, the course of Hirokyauta's life makes me wonder what the Gods below have planned," Chiwawo told her. "That is why I see this lake as the edge of our history. It's just as much a crossroads as a lake."

"How so?"

"Hidakala followed custom and denounced Hirokyauta when she left. And yet…what she accomplished despite our rejection…what she cultivated for us only by leaving our way…it's the only reason our home is still here."

He raised a hand out to point far across the lake. Vaguely, Zayza could see tan tents much more angular than the Hidakalan ones, and people walking amongst them in light clothing.

"We now share a crucial resource with a people who have been our enemy many times in the past," he said. "We have welcomed outsiders to work on our sands. And now, one even lives among us. If this is of the Gods…then it is territory they've never brought us to before. It is against tradition."

Zayza stiffened, looking down at her body in her second new Hidakalan dress.

"How…do you feel about that?" she decided to ask.

Chiwawo met her gaze again, his expression a mystery.

"I think I'll know soon enough," he said.

Chiwawo stood, some of the water splashing Zayza's ankles. "You will need more clothing. And skin cream, so my mother doesn't throw more bread at me. Let's head back, Princess."

She rose to her feet after him, surprised at her returning balance and focus. As they began their way back into the village, Zayza found herself staring at the tip of the Curving Peak in the distance.

It wasn't much more than a muffled blur now, but she remembered a glimpse of strange visions from when she was fainting.

…And only a moment later, she'd found herself before that memory triangle.

Was that all…connected, somehow?

~

Zayza let herself sink onto the blanket of her tent, the sand embracing every corner of her form.

The night chill still lingered for now, as Chiwawo had only just taught her how to use a special flint to light the embers in the middle of the tent moments ago. She did her best to observe, but had a feeling she'd need to ask for help again tomorrow.

Unlike his elder sister, he'd seemed so stiff in a confined area with her, even for only a few minutes.

She thought back to Hirochota's comment earlier–it was a bit silly that a man like him would be so uneasy near a woman, but she wondered if that was what it really was.

I am an 'outsider,' after all, Zayza pointed out to herself.

While the tent gradually warmed, soothing her tired limbs, her mind wandered back to Lake Hirokyauta. It evaded her how a body of water could maintain harmony between two peoples who had been enemies before.

She wished it could have been the same for the sea separating Azvaylen and Huksdür back home. So many fruitless wars could have been prevented.

But unlike her home reality, the Hidakalans and their rival clan lost everything before gaining the lake. Perhaps that was why Azvaylen and Hukdür didn't choose peace–they were unable to realize the blessing between them, since it had always been there.

If they had, perhaps the Royal Family would have never turned to Proscious' hand.

Her thoughts gradually grew hypothetical, picturing a Lanmuraarch Reality with the gift of Lake Hirokyauta instead of the Azvaylen Sea…

~

Zayza opened her eyes, an invisible force gently lowering her feet into the Dream World grass.

I drifted off, she noted, thankful for the embers' comfort.

Her memory cave was behind her, as was normal when she'd fall asleep naturally. But she sensed something different coming from within it.

Zayza turned to the humble hollow, the purple glow of her memories inside it shining against her. But there was a hint of light blue, as well: matching the shade of Hiroko's eyes, the memory triangle from before rested at the front.

Then it really is like a Dreamer's memory…Zayza confirmed.

Her heart leaped.

So…does that mean there could really be…

Something compelled her to turn back around.

…More?!

The river and field that had been before her an instant ago were gone. In their place was rainbowy sand leading to a lake.

Its water glistened as if it was under the Mainland Desert sun.

Zayza gasped. She was more than familiar with the Dream World's tendency to mirror places, thoughts, and phenomenon she'd experienced that day in the waking world. It was mysteriously connected to every Dreamer's mind, and it always had been.

Her surprise came not from the lake itself, but from what floated just above it in the very center:

Another triangle.

Zayza rose into the air and flew forward, her green dress waving as she accelerated.

She could feel it more and more, the closer she came.

She could feel Hiroko.

But she began noticing her speed decrease. It didn't add up: she was certain she was emitting enough energy from her Dreamer body.

Her answer came with an increasing gust of wind. It pulled at her, as if trying to drag her back.

The waves below intensified.

Struggling to both look and fly forward, Zayza realized the water had begun shifting below the glowing triangle. It took on a pattern, spiraling faster and faster.

Within moments, a whirlpool opened up beneath it.

Its speed increased just as the wind was tugging harder. Zayza watched, nearly at a standstill, as it opened up into an abyss.

Thunder rumbled above.

Zayza wasn't sure how she expected what was about to happen–perhaps it was her experience with her own memory orbs–but the notion compelled her to summon nearly everything she had.

And as she did, the triangle began plummeting into the whirlpool's void.

"Wait!"

Zayza fired green energy from her hands and feet, rocketing forward once more. But at this point, the only successful angle she could take would launch her straight into the whirlpool's mouth.

She braced herself and dove, arms outreached to the descending triangle. The watery walls cut out the outside light, so its glow became all she could see.

Almost…

Zayza crashed into the triangle and embraced it in a spin, slowing herself in the air. But above, the thunder increased.

No–it wasn't thunder.

The monstrous eye of the whirlpool began closing. The spinning walls caved in. Zayza braced herself and blinked slowly in preparation to teleport.

But then, the triangle's glow intensified within her grasp. It broke free, rising to her head.

No! Not yet! Zayza pleaded. I can't afford to pause–

It pounced forward into her forehead, and vanished with a flash.

"You must seek if your calling is truly of the Gods below."

The waves crashed into Zayza from all around. A current sucked her in.

She tossed at the mercy of the lake's force, her eyes slammed shut. But she couldn't feel the pressure of its weight.

…Nor did her body feel wet.

An unfamiliar presence urged Zayza to reopen her eyes, and she found her vision unhindered.

She gasped at the shadowy figure before her, and only then, realized she'd been breathing since the whirlpool collapsed.

A Hidakalan man sat within the waves, their movements obscuring anything definitive about his features or form.

"But how would I know?"

She heard Hiroko's voice like it had come from her own mouth.

"When the choices affecting your future are uncertain, you must reconcile them with your past–with OUR past," came the man's voice.

Though Zayza couldn't see his eyes evenly, she could feel his stare.

"This may be uncharted territory…But nonetheless, the truth you seek is in our way. In our history…"

As the man faded before her, Zayza could feel Hiroko's doubt. But she could no longer tell if his words were meant for Hiroko…or for her.

The lake calmed. Zayza took one more breath and blinked sleepily, welcoming the abrupt sense of nothingness.

Then, in response, she found herself at the rainbowy shore once more.

Though she was away from danger now, watching the serene waves, her heart pounded even harder than before.

Unlike the first triangle, she now hosted a memory she had never even been present for. It was undeniable:

These were Hiroko's memories, locked away in the Dream World.

Zayza sank into the sand, the sky's ever-changing shade high above.

Could this mean there were even more to find?

And…what would it mean to find them all?

She played back this new glimpse into Hiroko's life.

"...The truth you seek is in our way. In our history."

This man was speaking to Hiroko, and yet…

The vague visions at the Curving Peak…

Lake Hirokyauta…

The memory triangles had appeared after both of those encounters.

That must be it.

Zayza stood, certainty flooding her every inch. She knew the next move: had to piece Hiroko's memories together, just as she had done for herself.

And now, she held the lamp to light her way. The faceless man's past guidance made it clear:

If she discovered more about Hidakala, she might summon more memories.

And perhaps, she prayed, she would summon the answer.