Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

44 – The Magical Lecture

I truly believed nothing was going to happen.

“We will now commence the lecture of Private First Class Kim Shi-yul. Please welcome him with applause.”

“Shit.”

Not until I found myself on that platform, the eyes of countless magical girls fixed upon me.

Suddenly, a lecture? What kind of utter nonsense was this, you might be asking.

Understandable.

Even *I* couldn’t believe it.

The sequence of events was as follows.

It all started when I casually mentioned to Nakji that I was a major shareholder in No□pia. From then on, a rumour started to spread within the unit.

That I was some kind of stock market guru.

Well, it wasn’t entirely false.

I *am* a bit of a stock market guru, after all.

But rumours, once set loose, have a way of growing uncontrollably.

The rumour of me being a stock market guru somehow morphed into me knowing all the inside stock tips, which then ballooned into me being able to pick promising stocks.

And ultimately…

It was decided that I would hold a magical stock market lecture for enlisted magical girls.

What’s more, this wasn’t just some passing rumour; it was fully confirmed through official announcements. All thanks to the battalion commander and the company commander, those two b*tches.

The problem was, I was the only one who didn’t know.

By the time I heard the news, the lecture was less than a day away.

“I heard you’re doing a Magical Stock Lecture. Magical Major and Magical Lieutenant posted the announcement.”

“Me? What the *hell* are you talking about?”

“They’re saying a senior is doing a magical stock lecture for magical girls during magical work time tomorrow. Just heard it on the magical grapevine.”

Even *that*, I only found out through Whity and Sora. Figures.

No wonder the magical girls had been giving me the side-eye lately. Always a reason for everything.

Definitely Magical Octopus-b*tch’s doing.

“Octopus, you goddamn b*tch.”

“B-But, this maiden has not spoken a word!”

“Bullshit. Who else would it be?”

“If this maiden were the culprit, then she would write a cyberpunk deep-dark hero story about a TS female character who was brutally violated, implanted with a cyber-penis, and uses it to violate the rapists every night!”

But seeing her protesting so desperately, Octopus probably wasn’t the culprit.

“I believe you. Alright, you’re definitely not the one.”

Then, maybe it was the owner of the Magical Cafe, or some of the other magical girls who were hanging out in the corner of the cafe at the time.

Whatever.

Time was short, so I rushed to prepare as best I could, but I only managed to cobble together a single PPT slide.

Even that, I made so frantically that I couldn’t even run it through a spellchecker. Practically no preparation at all, really.

And yet, here I am, standing on the damn stage.

“Hah.”

Still, I’d come this far. No way I was turning tail and running. Wasn’t the very definition of a hero someone who stood against hardship and adversity?

So, I’ll keep going.

Because I am a hero.

“Then, I will begin the lecture.”

Before starting, I brought up the one PPT slide.

“First, please look at the screen.”

I wouldn’t exactly call it well-made, but I didn’t want to waste it after going through the trouble of making it.

Besides, it should give you a general idea of who I am and what my purpose is today.

Hello, my name is Kim Shi-yul.

I made a considerable profit and achieved financial freedom in my late teens and early twenties, based on my professional background and knowledge.

I am currently 33 years old, and I have become a magical girl. My mental health is deteriorating.

Nevertheless, I want to contribute to society and help you overcome the financial difficulties you are facing.

By sincerely sharing my methods, I hope to help you make money through stocks. Stock investing can yield profits that are dozens, or even hundreds, of times greater than your annual salary.

I will impart all my knowledge to you, free of charge, and will not request any fees until you’ve actually generated profit.

Since I’ve never incurred a loss exceeding 30%, I guarantee a 70% success rate.

Based on the experience I’m sharing freely, you can achieve profits if you follow my guidance.

For more detailed information, I recommend joining the community group. Or, look for the book being produced, available on a first-come, first-served basis.

You have nothing to lose, but missing this opportunity would be a great detriment.

I beamed a bright smile at everyone.

“So, how about it? Did you understand roughly?”

But the response was decidedly lukewarm.

Every last magical girl was regarding me with unconcealed disbelief. Even Whity, Sora, and Octopus behind me were no exception.

They looked at me like I was a charlatan.

Honestly, what’s the problem?

Everything I said was the honest truth.

Anyway, it’s difficult to explain in this situation. I need to steer the current in my direction.

“Before the lecture, allow me to ask a question.”

It’s best to start with a simple topic, I suppose.

“Who here can tell me what a magical girl whose life has fallen apart even *is*?”

No sooner had I finished speaking than a magical girl quickly raised her hand.

“Me! Me!”

“Correct. No need to say it twice.”

I was genuinely moved. I hadn’t expected someone to answer my question so quickly.

“That, that, that son of a b*tch!”

She must have been very interested in the lecture, displaying such an eager reaction.

If I’d known, I would have started with a simple topic instead of the PPT presentation. Then, the atmosphere wouldn’t have become so strained.

“But don’t worry too much. If you invest in stocks as I teach you, even a magical girl whose life has fallen apart can live prosperously.”

At the same time, a sense of mission filled me without my even realizing it.

A mission to educate these unenlightened souls.

“Hey!”

At that moment, a sharp voice suddenly intruded upon the solemn lecture.

“Yes?”

“What makes you so special, giving Magical lectures?”

Frankly, I felt a pang of unfairness.

It wasn’t like I *wanted* to do this; my only intention was to extend a kindness to everyone. How could they demean it like this?

“In the first place, I heard you only have a high school diploma! What right does *someone like you* have to be giving stock market lectures?!”

Of course, regardless of my inner turmoil, the magical girl continued to hurl barbs my way.

“You’re just a crazy fraud! Something’s fishy! Your intentions are as black as night, I can tell!”

It was quite a rude thing to say to someone giving a lecture, but nobody seemed inclined to intervene.

Which meant the others were thinking the same thing.

“How can I prove my credentials?”

“Show us your stock account to prove you’re pure!”

Unbelievably, the magical girl blurted out something you should *never* say to seasoned stock traders.

It’s a given; you never show your stock account. Who knows what they’ll find to criticize?

It’s like in web novels, when the stock market master hides their account.

Revealing your true worth is dangerous.

If someone else had heard that kind of remark, they would have undoubtedly said something like:

*Idiot,* I *never* showed my stock account, not even when I was a complete beginner.

But.

That only applies to intermediate traders.

“Alright.”

It didn’t matter to a master of a different caliber, like me.

I gave a good-natured smile and asked the squad leader magical girl to hand me my phone.

After a brief pause, she cautiously passed me my phone, a dubious expression on her face.

“Then, come and take a look for yourself.”

The magical girl, seething, strode confidently onto the stage. Her aura practically screamed she would tear me apart for even the slightest inconsistency.

But, it wasn’t long before her expression changed.

“What… what is this…? Really…?”

The fury that had previously dominated her face vanished without a trace. All that remained was a strange mixture of disbelief and shock, equally weighted.

“Actually, there are more digits in the front, but I hid them.”

“…….”

And then, even those emotions disappeared completely.

“Forgive my doubt…”

Only a sense of profound reverence remained there.

I didn’t bother replying. A slight smile would be answer enough.

Presently, the magical girl returned to her seat and sat in pious stillness, eyes fixed on me with boundless trust.

Then, another magical girl latched onto the one whose attitude had so suddenly changed.

“Hey, what’s up with that guy?”

“Watch your mouth. Not ‘that guy,’ but ‘that one.'”

” ‘That one’? More like ‘that idiot.'”

Even gentle correction couldn’t rein in her words.

She was only concerned with blurting out whatever came to mind.

“In the first place, that guy’s a loony who thinks he’s some kind of hero. Just a con arti—”

In that moment, the usually demure magical girl erupted.

“Hey! What kind of nonsense is that?”

“Uh, why are you suddenly so mad?”

“If he gets offended by your words and cancels the Magical Lecture, will you take full responsibility? Will you?!”

“What is he, anyway, that you’re acting like this?”

A flurry of emotions crossed the magical girl’s face: bewilderment, uncertainty, grievance, and a touch of irritation.

The other magical girls observing the scene felt much the same.

But.

“He’s the major shareholder of Top□ and No□pia!”

Those feelings didn’t last long.

“Th-that’s a lie, right?”

“It’s true. You can bet your mother on it.”

“Wait, Kim Si-yul over there – not some crazy otherworldy hero, but the *actual* major shareholder of Top□ and No□pia?”

“Not Kim Si-yul! Shin Si-yul-nim!”

The converted magical girl’s sincere testimony sent ripples through their minds.

Of course, some of the magical girls still struggled to believe it and approached me, demanding proof.

“Hey. Just… show us once.”

“It’s just a scam, right? Honestly, it doesn’t make sense.”

“I’ve never made money on stocks! So, this is clearly a fake!”

The request was brazen, to be sure, but I decided to generously overlook it.

Were they not, after all, lambs unaware? In that case, it was my duty to enlighten them.

For this moment, I was Jesus.

No, *Maesu*-nim, the Lord of Bribes.

“I’ll partially obscure the number, then I’ll show you.”

The instant the phone screen appeared, the magical girls’ reactions underwent a complete metamorphosis.

“Could I… perform fellatio? I may not be skilled at many things, but magical fellatio I’m rather confident in.”

“Hey, what are you even saying? One must offer analingus to the Major Shareholder of No□pia. It’s common sense.”

“Would it be alright to do it from behind? I’m a Magical Abstainer until Marriage, you see.”

“Enough, you goddamn whores.”

Issuing a discreet dismissal, the magical girls cautiously retraced their steps. Like devout believers returning from a pilgrimage to the holy land.

“Daesi-yul-nim is normalizing the stock market!!!”

One of them even seemed unable to contain her overflowing faith.

Meanwhile, Sora, clearly not having anticipated this turn of events, approached me.

“Senior, what did you do? There’s no way you actually have stocks. Did you show them some hypnosis app or something?”

“Well, I can’t exactly deny it.”

It wasn’t a lie.

The effect was indistinguishable from a hypnosis app.

No, considering they were volunteering to serve, it was a superior version.

Magical girls are helpless in the face of such things. It is written in *doujinshi* and the *Kojiki* that magical girls are powerless against love potions and hypnosis apps.

Anyway.

Having shown it only twice, I had successfully swayed public sentiment.

“In that case, let us begin the lecture.”

Without hesitation, I rode the wave.

“Very you, Senior, but this time it’s a bit revolting.”

“As expected, you’re trash-like.”

“That can’t even be recycled.”

“Shut it.”

I left behind the words of my dorm mates.