Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

35 – Magical Religious Activities (1)

The magical girl who was supposed to return today.

The very one Sora and the white girl both insisted was completely out of her mind.

But, contrary to my worries, her first impression was surprisingly normal.

Two-toned hair, black on the outside, red on the inside.

Eyes as intensely red as the inner strands of her hair.

Overall, an impression reminiscent of a cat.

Judging by appearance alone, she was among the most demure magical girls I had ever seen.

“Finally, this maiden has returned, I say!!!”

Her way of speaking was a bit strange, but not so strange. A little archaic, perhaps.

“Hm?”

At that moment, the magical girl who had returned from leave stared at me with a questioning gaze.

She must be surprised to see me in the dorm for the first time.

Well, there was no harm in introducing myself.

The white girl and Sora had repeatedly warned me that she was an odd one, but you never knew until you spoke with someone directly.

At least, she seemed normal right now.

“Good to meet you. I’m Kim Siyul.”

“Oh, a new inferior species, is it now?”

“You fucking b*tch.”

Scratch that.

Just a crazy b*tch.

Yeah. No way Whitedog and Sora were wrong.

“Senior, that’s what I was telling you. She’s a little… like that.”

“Sorry for doubting you. You were right about everything.”

“You kinda get why I said we wouldn’t get along now, right?”

“Yeah. Crystal clear, honestly.”

I wouldn’t get along with her either.

Seriously, isn’t she a total psycho?

“Still, don’t take it too personally. Teich just thinks everyone here, regardless of gender, is inferior to her.”

Well, if there’s a silver lining, it’s that she’s a pain in the ass to everyone, not just me.

“Just thinks she’s the only superior one, huh?”

“Well, not exactly the *only* one who thinks that… but yeah, something like that.”

Doesn’t change the fact she’s a lunatic.

“Even so, as someone we’ll be living with, it’s only polite to introduce myself.”

Meanwhile, the crazy b*tch struck a pose befitting a noble lady and introduced herself.

“My name is Teich. A superior being, but I look forward to working with you.”

“Yeah, fuck you too.”

Her name was Teich.

Of course, there’s absolutely no chance I’d ever use it.

Meanwhile, Teich immediately turned her gaze towards Whitedog as soon as the introduction ended.

“Today, *I* shall quell your spirit!”

“What now?”

Whitedog replied listlessly.

Teich shouted confidently.

“The American moon landing was a lie!”

She was probably trying to get a rise out of Whitedog with inflammatory words, or so she thought.

“You now understand that the moon landing is nothing more than a petty American conspiracy?”

“Well, the attempt itself wasn’t bad.”

The moon landing was one of America’s great achievements, and there probably wasn’t a more effective way to piss someone off than to openly deny it.

There were even people who got their teeth knocked out over it, so what more could you ask for?

But, Taishi had overlooked one thing.

“You really believe the moon exists?”

“Huh…?”

That Whitey was a real thickhead.

Verbal taunts only worked on someone with at least the bare minimum intelligence to understand words.

It didn’t work on a blockhead like Whitey.

“The moon’s just an illusion, projected onto the night sky by a giant beam projector, right here in America.”

“Ah, no, that’s…”

What good did it do to deny an achievement?

Whitey was denying the very foundations.

“The moon is fake. You’re dumber than me.”

Instead, I was the one getting worked up.

“Hey, hold on a second.”

“Why are you suddenly jumping in?”

Denying the moon’s existence in front of the Moon Warrior?

This was something I couldn’t just let slide.

“The moon exists. I’m the Moon Warrior, so of course the moon exists.”

But Whitey shook his head with a serious expression, his eyes filled with worry.

“The moon isn’t real. There’s no Moon Warrior, either. How old are you, still lost in fantasies?”

“No, the moon exists, you son of a b*tch.”

“You’ve watched way too much manga, no, anime, too. Please, start living in the real world.”

“Ah, seriously, come on, let’s go outside.”

While I was growling at Whitey, Sora approached Taishi and spoke to him quietly.

“Are you still going to insist to my sister that the moon landing was a hoax?”

“…This one was mistaken.”

Taishi sighed heavily and trudged towards the door.

“This one shall go out for a moment.”

As Taishi left, Shiro suddenly stood up.

“Ah! That’s right! I need to head out too!”

It was odd.

Why did they both suddenly need to leave?

And Sora’s reaction was equally strange.

“It’s about that time. You’ll be late, better hurry.”

“Exactly! Seeing her leave reminded me!”

She didn’t ask where they were going, just spoke casually, as if all of this was a normal part of their day.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Magical Cathedral! There’s a Magical Sister meeting today!”

Shiro was going to the cathedral.

Apparently, she was a nun.

“Wait, you’re a nun?”

“Magical Sister, to be precise.”

Still, with the ‘Magical’ modifier, it seemed different from the nuns I knew.

“What’s the difference between a Magical Sister and a regular nun?”

“There are no limits on what you do, and you just need to attend regularly. They give you snacks too. That’s why I keep doing it.”

With no apparent restrictions, being a nun seemed less like a vocation and more like being a member of a club.

But maybe it wasn’t that strange.

From what I’d heard, the birth rate had been utterly decimated after the monster attacks. So, nuns probably had to adapt to the times too.

Besides, who am I?

A major shareholder in Top □ and No□pia.

So I can understand anything.

In No□pia, nuns and saints aren’t symbols of chastity and purity, but incarnations of lust. A profession more often undertaken by true men than women.

Well, whatever.

“So, today is Magical Sister Rei’s day.”

Shiro confidently introduced herself as a Magical Sister.

Sister…

It certainly suited Shiro.

“Oh, Magical Sister Rei.”

“Magical Sister Rei, you son of a b*tch.”

Apparently more stung than I thought, Whitie spat out the curse in fluent Korean, a far cry from his usual self.

At least he didn’t call me ‘Blackie.’

A screw-up he might be, but he was definitely improving.

“Anyway, I’m off.”

“Are you eating at the Magical Cathedral? If you’re not back, I’m going with *sunbae*.”

“No, I’ll be back before then. See you.”

“Okay.”

Sora waved a dismissive hand in reply, and Whitie bolted out of the dormitory.

And, hot on his heels, I followed.

“Sunbae, wait a sec. Where are you going?”

Of course, Sora caught me pretty quickly.

“Just going to see how everyone else does this ‘religious activity’ thing.”

I guessed that Taishi had left for a religious event just now, too. Sora said Taishi was a devout believer, after all.

“It’ll be boring, probably.”

“Just want to see how different it is from what I know.”

“Alright. Watch for a bit and come back. I’m busy with administrative work right now.”

Receiving Sora’s send-off, I stepped out the door.

The way itself wasn’t difficult. Even though it was my first time, all I had to do was follow Whitie, who was already sprinting ahead.

Had to be about ten minutes of walking like that. Finally, I arrived at the cluster of religious facilities.

“Whoa.”

An exclamation escaped me.

In a good way.

Up until now, not a single building with “Magical” in its name had been normal. They all felt like mental institutions, no matter how you looked at them.

But this time it was a little different.

It wasn’t like there were *no* magical-girl-esque decorations, but it seemed like they had restrained themselves, out of respect for this being a religious site.

“Not bad.”

It was pleasing to the eye.

Especially the church building, the largest one in the center, which was really impressive. It had an air of reverence, but also a mysteriously mystical feel.

“Damn it! Jesus! I love you!”

“Damn it! Jesus! What is this babbling! It keeps coming out as tongues! Messiah~ hahahahahat!!!”

“He has risen! The nail-tightening boy!”

Well, outwardly it seemed normal, that is. In reality, it was an asylum for the mentally ill.

Anyway, is that the Magical Church over there?

I absolutely mustn’t go near that place.

Too many crazy magical girls. Though, really, ‘magical girl’ and ‘crazy’ are practically synonyms.

On the other hand, the doors of all the religious facilities were open, as if entry was freely permitted.

Naturally, the Magical Cathedral’s doors were also open. Whitey would probably be there. I could maybe snag a snack, too.

Without hesitation, I entered the Magical Cathedral…

“Huh?”

… but stopped halfway.

It was because of the Magical Buddhist Temple located directly opposite the Magical Cathedral.

More specifically, because of Taishi standing on the platform.

Taishi’s attire wasn’t the casual clothes she had been wearing earlier, but a black, sharply tailored uniform.

Considering the magical girls lined up were all wearing their magical girl outfits, this uniform was probably Taishi’s magical girl attire.

Frankly, it was quite unexpected.

It wasn’t revealing like most magical girl outfits.

Of course, it wasn’t completely devoid of exposure. The thigh between the mini-skirt and the stockings, for example, or the stomach and arms revealed by the short, sleeveless dress shirt.

But with the uniform coat worn over it, she was relatively modest compared to the other magical girls.

Without realizing it, I slowly moved towards the Magical Buddhist Temple. I wanted to see what Taishi was planning to do.

At that moment.

“This maiden loves, she does.”

Taishi opened her mouth.