Come Back

The skyline of Bangkok was more dazzling than the one in Jakarta. It almost looked like the lights on a Christmas tree.

To Choi Hong-seo, a Christmas tree symbolized a typical home, a home without financial worries, a harmonious family. It was a scene of well-mannered family members sitting around a table full of delicious food, exchanging warm words, while the children, feeling safe in their parents’ presence, unwrapped their gifts under their gentle gaze. And behind the family, the tree sparkled.

The view of Bangkok’s nightscape from the hotel room on the 30th floor wasn’t materialistic like the one he had seen in Jakarta. It felt cozy, like a Christmas tree, evoking an experience he had never had. It wasn’t the city that had changed, but Choi Hong-seo’s own heart.

As he looked at the increasingly darkening evening scene of Bangkok through the window, Choi Hong-seo turned away from the window without hesitation. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried making an international call using the phone provided in the room.

“I’d like to report something about the recent ‘X scandal,’ anonymously. The actor Ko Ji-woon and the representative of Sweet Entertainment being investigated are not important. They are innocent. It’s about Myung Do-hoon, the president of UB Entertainment. Myung Do-hoon is the real pimp. And behind Myung Do-hoon is Lee Seo-kyung from Hanseo Group. Nothing will come of it even if an anonymous tipster speaks up, but at least… look into who’s behind Myung Do-hoon.

Myung Do-hoon is preparing to leave tonight. He’s going to Bangkok to see the UB Entertainment idol group ‘Layered,’ but he’s probably planning to escape. If we miss this, it’ll be over.”

Throughout the call, Choi Hong-seo’s voice sometimes became shaky, but he managed to calmly finish what he needed to say. His hand, holding the receiver, was not trembling in the slightest.

After hanging up, he carefully took the camera sitting on the bed in his hand.

Standing still, he began deleting photos from recent to past, one by one. Although he had been on a business trip for quite a long time, he had barely taken 50 pictures. It took some time because he hadn’t deleted them all at once, but there was no need to rush.

“…”

As the photos of the past were erased, the last one remaining was a photo of himself taken by Lee Hae-sung, and one he had taken of Lee Hae-sung.

For a moment, Choi Hong-seo’s shoulders, which had shown no signs of distress, collapsed. His body shook violently with sobs. His nose and brow tingled with the intensity of the feeling. He stood still, holding the camera tightly, waiting for his emotions to calm down.

Once he had regained composure, he continued deleting the remaining photos. It felt like he was erasing his memories, his life, and his very existence. The final photo, the one with his face in it, was the hardest to delete. He hesitated for a long time, staring at it. He gently stroked the face on the photo with his fingertips. There was no way he could forget. Even if he erased his existence, he would never forget the person who had loved him, the only one who had given him love, his only spring of life. He was certain. Deleting the photo would not make him forget. It was okay.

Finally, he stood in front of the vanity, spraying some perfume. He struggled to press the spray, unable to put enough force into it. A few drops spilled down his hand because he couldn’t press it properly in one go.

As the scent surrounded him, he felt a little more at peace. After taking one last look at his face in the mirror, he left the bedroom.

In the living room of the suite, some of the managers and members were gathered together. Choi Hong-seo slumped down into one corner of the sofa where they were sitting.

“Hyung, I’m so bored. Let’s go out.”

“Where to? There are fans lined up right in front of the hotel. Just stay here.”

“I’m about to go crazy from boredom. I’m not going alone, I want you to come with me. Is that not okay?”

“…”

Finally, the manager took his eyes off his phone, where he had been playing a game, and looked at Choi Hong-seo. A senior manager, who had been playing poker at the table behind them, gathered his cards and spoke up.

“Alright, Hong-seo wants to go out, let’s take him.”

With that approval, Choi Hong-seo stood up again, as if waiting for this moment.

“Let’s go to a rooftop bar.”

“A rooftop?”

One of the members, who had been half-heartedly watching TV with an OTT channel on, suddenly brightened up and joined the conversation.

“Yeah, hyung! Rooftop bars are famous in Bangkok. There are so many!”

“They say this place is the hot spot. Let’s go there.”

The members, who had been feeling bored, began to actively discuss which bar to go to. As long as it was a rooftop bar, Choi Hong-seo didn’t mind where they went.

The preparation time for the members took longer than usual. Meanwhile, Choi Hong-seo waited, gazing blankly at the nightscape outside the window. There was no need to hurry. There was plenty of time.

The rooftop bar, which a few managers and members from ‘Layered’ had visited, was filled with stylishly dressed people.

Trendy music played loudly, and the décor was luxurious. The members, excited to be in a place with many people their age, took pictures of each other and asked the managers to take group shots as well. They suggested taking photos with Choi Hong-seo too, but he no longer wanted to take any more photos.

The fresh breeze blew through the almost cloudless sky. The endless lights stretching out beyond the railing of the 32nd-floor rooftop bar looked like stars in the universe. Choi Hong-seo closed his eyes and breathed in the cool air.

“Shit… What the hell…”

One of the managers, who had been frowning at his phone for a while, muttered to himself while wiping his face repeatedly.

“What… what is it?”

The members, feeling uneasy from the manager’s behavior, set down their cocktail glasses.

“They say the president’s been arrested… What… What should we do? You guys stay here. I’ll go check things out.”

The manager seemed flustered and quickly walked away to make a phone call while leaving the members in charge of another manager.

It was done. Myung Do-hoon had been arrested. It might have been because of his tip-off call, but the reason didn’t matter. Myung Do-hoon had been arrested.

Choi Hong-seo whispered quietly to the member sitting next to him.

“Taeyu, can I borrow your phone for a second?”

“Why? Are you going to check the news? Don’t look.”

“No, I just need to make a call.”

The member, looking suspiciously at Choi Hong-seo, glanced at the manager who was preoccupied with checking news about Myung Do-hoon’s arrest.

“Where are you going?”

When Choi Hong-seo stood up, the manager immediately raised his head.

“To the bathroom.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“No, it looks like no one recognizes us here.”

Taking the phone borrowed from the member, Choi Hong-seo left the table and went to a dark corner, away from the crowd and the lights. He unlocked the phone using the password the member had given him.

He confirmed clearly that Myung Do-hoon had been urgently arrested at the airport and that it had been revealed he had coerced X into sex work and entertainment from before their debut. This news had started spreading in Korea about 30 minutes ago.

After checking the news, Choi Hong-seo opened the phone app.

Slowly, he began to press the eleven digits of a number he would never forget. No, he only pressed nine digits. He couldn’t bring himself to press the final digits. He simply stared at the incomplete number. For now, he thought it was best to just look at it.

Quickly putting the phone back in his pocket, he returned to the table.

“Where are you going again?”

When Choi Hong-seo returned the phone and tried to get up again, the member stopped him.

“I just made a call, didn’t go to the bathroom yet. I’ll be right back.”

He smiled and left the table. Then, he went to the bar, away from the table, and ordered a strong whiskey on the rocks, a drink Lee Hae-sung often had. From the bar, located higher than the tables, he could see the entire city, 360 degrees around him.

It felt like looking down at Earth from space.

It felt as if the entire world was beneath my feet, giving me a sense of liberation.

I had always thought I was holding on, enduring for the sake of hope, but now I realize that wasn’t the case. From the very beginning, there was no hope. I had just been deceiving myself to survive.

Meeting Lee Hae-sung seemed like a reward for all the time I had fought through, perhaps a sign that things would get better. But it wasn’t that. It was the final kindness granted by God, a sweet daydream. Like how even the most cruel of death row prisoners would be allowed to eat their favorite meal or have one wish granted before the end.

It was fortunate that I never returned the words “I love you” to him.

I never loved him.

What he gave me was love, and I only received it.

Finishing the whiskey, Choi Hong-seo placed the glass down.

He looked at the happy people and the universe beyond the railing, with the Earth and the sky above.

I tried not to think about Lee Hae-sung. I didn’t want to hold on to the illusion that I was sacrificing for him. This choice wasn’t about that. It was just the exhaustion, the complete weariness that made me want to end everything, to put an end to the worn-out remnants of my past, which had almost disappeared.

The continuous threads of thoughts that had been twisting and turning, the arteries that had been running wild like a madman, finally stopped.

Or perhaps I could have offered X-gun and Vice President together as a set. If you love someone, you should always be together.

Can Hong-seo endure again? What do you think?

This was the answer Choi Hong-seo had prepared for Lee Seo-kyung’s final generosity.

One, two… three… Choi Hong-seo, as a habit, folded his fingers one by one, then suddenly realized that this was an unnecessary moment.

Let this be love. Even if it’s the most trivial and foolish way, at least let this be love. Let it be something that could be called love.

I love you. I love you.

***

Rumors spread quickly on the internet that X-gun, a former male host from a host bar, had been forced into prostitution and entertainment from his debut through to the present, allegedly under the command of CEO Myung Do-hoon of UB Entertainment, who was arrested as the main suspect in the case.

With Myung’s arrest, rumors began circulating that the real central figure of the scandal was not actor Ko Ji-woon, but rather Choi Hong-seo, the leader of the idol group “Layered.” These claims spread rapidly online.

It wasn’t even an hour after Myung’s arrest and the news started circulating on the internet that… tragic news came in from Bangkok, where Choi Hong-seo, who had been in the city for a performance, had… jumped from a rooftop bar.

Ah… regardless of the truth of the rumors, it is truly heartbreaking…

Choi Hong-seo, who had gone to a rooftop bar in Bangkok for a mood change with two members of his group and two managers, reportedly jumped about 30 minutes after hearing the news of Myung Do-hoon’s arrest.

Having jumped from the 32nd floor, he died instantly at the scene, and emergency responders transported him to Bangkok Bumrungrad International Hospital.

…Here is a photo of the hotel in Bangkok where Choi Hong-seo jumped from the 32nd-floor rooftop bar. As you can see, rooftop bars in Bangkok, like this one, have open structures with no walls or ceilings. The railing is a glass barrier only about chest-height for an adult…

Despite repeated safety concerns about these types of rooftop bars, they remain popular for attracting tourists…

Some are even saying that the “November Curse” in the entertainment industry may have begun…

***

(Text Message Excerpts)

“Hey, Hong-seo (10:19 PM)”

“Where are you? I need to talk to you right now (10:19 PM)”

“Voice call (10:19 PM)”

“Missed call (10:20 PM)”

“Voice call (10:20 PM)”

“Missed call (10:21 PM)”

“FaceTime (10:21 PM)”

“Missed call (10:22 PM)”

“Voice call (10:22 PM)”

“Missed call (10:23 PM)”

“Pick up the phone (10:23 PM)”

“Voice call (10:24 PM)”

“Missed call (10:26 PM)”

“Seriously, Hong-seo (10:28 PM)”

“Why are you not answering now? (10:29 PM)”

“Do you even think about how worried I am? (10:31 PM)”

“FaceTime (10:33 PM)”

“Missed call (10:34 PM)”

“FaceTime (10:35 PM)”

“Missed call (10:35 PM)”

“FaceTime (10:36 PM)”

“Missed call (10:36 PM)”

“Hong-seo, baby (10:45 PM)”

“No? (10:45 PM)”

“Please (10:52 PM)”

***

End of Chapter 5.

Tomorrow’s break, and Chapter 6 will be released on Tuesday.

Thank you.