71: Paralleled Doubts
"Thank you, Mito-sama." Katō Dan intoned with a borrowed voice, "Once again, I appreciate your generosity in providing this method. Please pass on my thanks to Seno-san here as well."
Saying as much with Seno-san's voice felt awkward for a multitude of reasons though.
He'd gotten better used to it after so many missions, but there was still always a discomfiting dissonance that came with possessing another person. Well, with someone he wasn't trying to kill anyway...
The serene form of Lady Mito lay still as if ignoring Dan's intrusion, but her voice whispered out, "Of course, though as Tsuna's chosen, know that my generosity to you has matching expectations..."
Internally, Dan's eyes widened with surprise at Mito overt acknowledgement. A thrilling occurrence, not the least for the secondary, ominous implications those words warned of. From where this body knelt, Dan raised his borrowed eyes to match Mito's.
"I wish most emphatically that my love for Tsunade exceeds even your expectations."
"Mmm... a fair answer, young man." The corners of the old woman's lips creased up barely a sliver, "Even if ambitious. Now, what of that matter I asked of you?"
"Yes!" Dan grunted, containing the flutters in his heart, as he bowed once more to give his report, "Nishioka-san will have the rest of the gateguards conveniently busting an attempted smuggling operation for the next two days at least. Difficult or uncomfortable questions will be delayed accordingly in the hustle. Is that enough time to arrange the situation?"
"Plenty..." Mito tilted her head with a regal confidence, "and at the highest channels?"
At that, Dan closed his borrowed eyes to organize his thoughts.
"...Hokage-sama, well he..."
The words Dan spoke in those following minutes, he still had yet to process them himself. But what he told Lady Mito, what he was trying to tell himself... he wasn't sure how he could come to terms with it. It was fortunate that he had experience in handling his emotions. A tightness prickled his heart as he wondered how Tsuna would handle it, the... precarious reality of their situation. And so soon after Nawaki...
But for the end of his report, all he could add for now was, "It was as you expected; I will have to bide my time. He seemed to know... but not enough to be..."
"Not all is certain, Dan. For all my planning, even I have still been surprised." Lady Mito breathed out coldly. "You and Tsuna have delivered a most confounding element to my doorstep, after all."
Despite himself, a hapless smirk twisted Dan's borrowed lips at the thought of young Sumika. That kind, enigmatic child who had managed to save his life. Her profound, explosive impact on Dan and Tsunade came about entirely unexpectedly. Despite their sincere appreciations, it seems he and Mito both still felt the absurdity of it all.
"I know your suspicions from the first report," Lady Mito continued, gravely, "But the waves of her presence here have produced far more ripples than you could ever expect. Yet what Hiruzen knows, others will know. With the failed attempt on your life, you must decide how to handle the aftermath. Better still, prepare the framework for multiple paths."
"Aye." Dan nodded. He'd intended to do so from the beginning, as soon as the possibility of treachery crossed his mind. But choosing would not be so simple. He would have to commit everything, and Dan hated to gamble, especially whenever Tsunade was involved,
"But I have to admit, as I am now, I am at a serious disadvantage. My skills are so effective on Konoha's enemies precisely because they do not know the nature of my abilities. On the home turf, however... I am much less effective. More and drastic measures would be needed, and now I must already look over my shoulder for assassins..."
"I know it well, young Dan." Mito's voice carried a dark intensity to it, her neck leaning forward to emphasize a sly, brutal gaze, "To mitigate your disadvantages, you will surely have to play the game of politics."
A sigh hissed through Dan's borrowed lips, "And thought I already was."
Lady Mito merely gave a single shake of her head. It felt like she was reproving him with her next words, "Your integrity is admirable, but more games are being played here... than just the sensible ones — the ones you want to see. Since your opponents will not play by the rules, adapt!"
Easier said than done, Dan thought wryly.
As if reading his mind, Mito continued, raising her voice to a commanding level, "I will remind you of this only once now: what hurts you will hurt Tsuna even more. Realize this. Anticipate it. You must not underestimate your influence, the influence even your possible death will have. Heavens know such things have decided some of the most difficult choices in my life."
The raw emotion and intensity of the Vulpine Lady's voice sent a wave of chills down Dan's spine, or rather the spine he was borrowing from Seno-san. The First Hokage's wife, the weight of her life bore tremendous gravity to a student of history like Dan. He could scarcely imagine which choices she might be referring to, but what he did imagine was terrifying on its own.
"Consider deeply what that dream of yours truly entails, Katō Dan. I will not forgive recklessness nor misplaced resolve."
Each of those words hit with frosty impact, touching insecurities and doubt that Dan himself was all but unaware he felt. It was a uniquely unnerving sensation, even if he was not physically present here.
And that sensation, it was fear. A whole mass of unwieldy, complicated Fear.
Dan had never lost the righteous fury that fueled his dream, his dream for reform and prosperity. His dream for a Konoha where his niece could find that peace which his sister never got a chance to enjoy.
But it was rare for fear to so thoroughly rattle him. It was just that... the attempt on his life, and how it had affected Tsunade... Mito's words just now forced him to consider altering his perspective. Or reminded him of the necessity to do so.
Dan's life had been perilously close to death many times before, but never in quite such agonizing circumstances.
The ongoing war. The distress of his lover. The discovery of a lost Senju clansman. The callousness of his superiors. The petty quibbling over rules and procedures. Being warned for even pointing out the problems. The trust of his brothers-in-arms. All these factors vying for attention in piecing together the bigger picture, in navigating towards an acceptable solution.
The Jōnin would not forget his escort team, too, good men callously sent as sacrifices alongside him in what was almost certainly a well-planned assassination. He and others lived in a world where confronting death and enduring, enduring to achieve a goal, was expected. Dan had dedicated his life to the goal of saving and protecting, but his own life had always been his alone to risk... or so he thought.
He could only thank the heavens and the redoubtable Uzumaki Mito for the continued chance to rethink his priorities. Well, and obviously the two to whom he owed his life.
"I, I..." he couldn't find the words to respond.
"Even now, she fills your heart and mind. I am no longer the one you should be speaking to, Dan. You have much to think about." Mito averted her face, looking up towards the ceiling.
Thus dismissed, Dan bowed low, canceling his jutsu and returning to his body. Come dawn, he would have a busy schedule.
...
...
...
Only after the young man's spirit departed did Mito lift a hand from beneath her bedcovers. While her ANBU, Seno, slumped over to recover from the possession, a brilliant cyan butterfly drifted down from the rafters above, landing on Mito's outstretched finger. A response to a certain, crucial letter.
A promising response indeed.
Mito did not smirk, but she might as well have. The feeling still leaked into the words she viciously muttered into the darkness,
"Of course, young Dan, I shall not sit idly by. On top of all she suffers, Tsuna should never experience that grief."
Dan was not the only one in Konoha who had survived attempted assassinations.
Distant clanks and gentle rumbles startled Sumika out of her meditations early in the morning, these sounds being thoroughly out of place in the normally-silent Senju courtyards. Sounds that echoed like those of the battles in her memory. Sounds that thus demanded immediate investigation.
Splitting seconds with those thoughts, the girl allowed the breath she was holding to flee her lungs entirely, her breathing exercises abandoned as her attention intensified on her surroundings. Her body stilled more completely, the lack of a need to breathe at all conferring combat and stealth advantages that her instincts seized upon naturally.
Coming off of her steady, concentrated breathing patterns as she was, Sumika felt her focus heighten substantially. The distractions of intentional tempo, duration, and intensity fell away from her mind; the only remaining indication of her living presence became the automatic, rhythmic pulse of her heartbeat. A pulse that was ever-so-slightly accelerating.
That which had been ambient surged into immediate perception, the feedback of her senses drowning out more complex thoughts.
This sudden transition felt familiar, but at the same time Sumika felt only partially conscious of it. Like the difference between deliberately imagining the process of unsheathing a blade, and your body doing so automatically. Why that was the visualization which came to mind, Sumika spared not any time to consider.
But this readiness, this poise... she remembered it murkily from the moments she awoke on that ritual altar.
Entering this state, Sumika darted nimbly up onto her feet from where she had knelt on the bed, following this singular precise motion by gliding out onto the balcony to investigate.
A sense of shadowy familiarity guided these actions, yet her awareness of them in the moment grew hazy. Why did she know how to act without thinking about it in detail? Why did these movements feel right, correct, yet at the same time inadequate and flawed?
These questions vanished as another rumble echoed out, the most minute vibrations detectable to her senses. The hairs on the back of her neck flared slightly as a burst of loud clacks followed.
Closing her eyes and with a subconscious tilt of her head, Sumika allowed her sharp hearing to pinpoint the direction from which the noises originated. That being a ways off to the southeast... from an outbuilding adjacent to a large field, a couple hundred meters from the lake and its gazebo.
With a squint, she identified a few objects dotting the field, organized in neat rows or clustered groups. Pillars of wood? Some boulders too? Most all of them were adorned with faded paint in patterns of concentric circles, all facing towards the outbuilding.
This kind of setup... was for... hmm? Inklings of intuition trickled into her focus, seeming so right and yet so paradoxically wrong.
Searching for the right words left her drawing a blank, but the very absence of that information seemed to lend itself to the answer.
Flitted memories of similar equipment crossed her imagination — snippets of conversation between members of the Yuka convoy and their samurai escorts, an archery range on the outskirts of the Yamakuni Sanctuary with the same circle patterns, and even more, vaguer feelings of intuition. These most uncertain of sensations gave off impressions conversely both eerie and reassuring.
The conclusion was... training. Training grounds, training targets, target practice.
In the mere seconds that had passed, Sumika observed a wide chunk of rock soar out and impact against one of the larger boulders before crumbling into fragments. Even from this distance, she could tell that the the flying rubble was aimed right near the center of the painted target symbol. The source of the sounds...
Training... not life-threatening, not a hostile attack.
It wasn't...
Sumika closed her eyes and listened to the powerful beat of her heart steady and slow, her muscles easing and her senses calming.
Steadied so, she drew breath again in that shallow and reflexive way she did when not purposefully controlling it, making her way back inside and closing the balcony door.
Well, that was one way to start a new day...
After a moment's hesitation, Sumika lifted the earmuffs from their place around her neck and donned them properly, largely muting the sounds which had so jostled her attention.
A sigh leaked through her lips as she allowed her body to flop back onto the bed. Crouching herself up small, she scrunched herself in and amongst the softness of the covers.
The night had apparently passed quickly, thanks to Sumika calming her nerves and slowing her thoughts down to a pace where she could examine them closely. A pace where she could reflect without exhausting herself on anxious tangents. And examine them she had. Well, right up until now.
In some ways though, her reaction this morning was a perfect capstone to the night's meditation. Yet at the same time, even that was exhausting to realize.
Something similar had happened when she practiced with that mask in the Yamakuni Sanctuary... operating almost on instinct, feeling something change, words she'd never heard before coming to mind. Was the way in which she thought changing? Well, it surely was, but was that natural, or unnatural? Was there even any way to know?
And that mask, too... which had behaved far differently than she'd been led to believe. What she'd felt afterwards...
It wasn't enough.
She had to know more. These primal thoughts were just meager preludes — reminders of why she must seek the truth. Much had improved since she first awoke, but only certainty would bring affirmation to her future. She'd always known it was answers that her soul craved.
Her strange, altered soul...
Raising a hand before her eyes, Sumika flexed her fingers slowly, watching them behave exactly as she willed them to. Chakra flowed to them as she commanded, feedback of her very will itself.
She'd felt it to her core several times now, but at very least her mind and body were truly hers and hers alone. However abominable the ritual had been, however tortuous the process and the sacrifices, the consequences were hers to deal with. Those known and unknown.
Out there in the world existed monstrous things, terrifying things she did not understand. Her own body and mind may now rank among them. A demonic mask, an abominable demonic ritual, the story of her past...
She must understand, but only time could bring understanding.
Bringing her forearm down, Sumika rolled up her sleeve and sunk her teeth gently into her own flesh, letting the minor pain drown her frustration, her impatience.
The people here could help her. Maybe. Partially. For now...
That which she had already learned here was surely proof enough that she was on the right path, right? She had never felt more complete than when she regained her name, her heritage...
When her teeth felt on the verge of piercing skin, she released her bite and stood, catching the reflection of her face in a window.
Calm, impassive, her expression gazed back at her.
That felt right. These most troubling of feelings could be controlled. So long as that remained true, Sumika felt she could still endure it.
Only for as long as she had to though...
Thinking as much, she entered the halls and headed towards the main chambers. She had to find Geki, to check for any update on meeting with Lady Mito. Wild speculation would do her no good. For matters involving that demonic mask, it was Lady Mito who could give her answers. And Geki was supposed to deliver Sumika's message.
Arriving at a main intersection, however, she encountered someone else entirely.
The tall, blue-haired Dan stood squarely in her path, seeming even more surprised to see her than she felt seeing him.
"Sumika-s, -san", he stuttered over the honorific in a way that had Sumika staring blankly.
Oh, she was wearing her earmuffs. Did he think she couldn't hear him? She could hear just fine this way. In fact, it was more comfortable. But did he know that?
As she was thinking this, Dan's face adopted an awkward twist. Distracted by that, Sumika lost her chance to respond altogether as Dan continued,
"Good morning. I'm glad to see you out and about so early. But, uh..."
He hesitated, and Sumika tilted her head slightly, "What?"
"Are those... the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?" his baritone voice inquired, one eyebrow slanting.
Ah-
"Ah-" Sumika echoed her thought, glancing down, "Is... that a problem?" she added, stalling for time and knowing fully that it often was a problem.
A smidge of warmth flowed to her face as a stream of retrospective considerations surged to the forefront of her mind. Sumika had observed many dozens of people by now, and changing clothes was definitely common practice, at least so long as one wasn't in a hurry or low on supplies. She was familiar with the reasons behind this too, especially from her time traveling with the Yuka Group and at the Yamakuni Sanctuary. Sanitation and comfort were important! Sumika knew that much but, well, she was preoccupied yesterday, and time just-
"Wait..." she interrupted herself as a new thought occurred, "How... how do you know what I wore yesterday? I don't remember...we didn't meet?" though the tone of her voice was flat and impassive, her eyes narrowed slightly.
Dan's expression froze up slightly and then he shook his head, "Ahh, would you believe I heard it from Tsunade? She went on and on about it for a good twenty minutes." He then rubbed at the side of his head with another odd expression on his face.
Still, hearing mention of Tsunade brought Sumika's attention back to the events of yesterday, and to the woman herself. It was, after all, Tsunade who chose these clothes. The wide and ornate waistband tying her kimono closed had a complicated knot indeed. And while comfortable and well-made, it was a bit difficult to don and disrobe by herself. Tsunade really seemed to like these clothes, too, and Sumika didn't want to accidentally damage them. And Tsunade hadn't been available to help last evening... and, were they really even Sumika's to keep anyway? And-
As the girl's eyes were beginning to spin, Dan spoke up again,
"Err, I think I might see your problem." he seemed genuinely concerned, crouching down to be at eye level, "I would offer to help myself, but... I think Tsunade would enjoy that much more..."
The grown man had a faraway sort of look to his eyes and his lips creased into a flat line, "Well, I have a lot to do today, but I can spare some time for this. Should we go look for Tsunade together?"
Sumika managed a nod in response.