Beasts of No Nation
Everything around him turned black—whilst around the other few—it was a horrific display of chaos as there were bodies strewn across the ground. Pieces of flesh that had been torn from them were like crimson flowers blooming—dripping red-like pollen in the dirt beneath their lonesome carcass. It was no surprise some people started looking worried. The people—the ones still living—wondered how the people—the people dead and still... dying, could do such a thing?
Depressing, sad, how easy it seems for Alice to take one life after another; humans... she... devours and becomes one herself, feeding off others, hoping for anything; in a hope that something's there to gain. Zabulus' thought wandered the world and all the things beyond; his mind reached deep down into his consciousness; finding himself thinking it had all been one sick illusion after he looked around for anything that could give a sense of a person—when he reached the edges of their memory and he saw darkness all around him.
But everything was okay now.
When he could hear a little bit of silence as he heard someone cry in their voice that had become hoarse. All he saw now is blood everywhere around him—a city full of mutilation and slaughters. He was bleeding a black, ink-ish substance and he couldn't feel his nerves anymore as Alice noticed and went towards him slowly. His legs felt like jelly as his arms slowly began to numb. He, suddenly, seemed to feel a headache—a huge headache as pain racked his brain and causing his blood vessels to burst, making small spikes of blood drip from his forehead into his face. Zabulus took a step back as Alice carefully watched every move he did before grabbing his shoulders.
She knew he was not okay. After all, he stood there like a fool, taking all the damage of the night away as if he wanted death.
If only she was faster- she thought, if only she was aware of herself. But everything is— was fine now, everything felt like it was all coming back. She saw... a little more clear. Maybe—just maybe the voices screaming out loud to 'eat' others. She wanted them out, she didn't want anything anymore, she couldn't, she wouldn't.
Soon after the thought, Zabulus collapsed in her arms, still staring up at Alice in her tearful eyes. She was crying but... her mind—the voices began to say how selfish Zabulus was, then yelling at her for saving him... or worse yet... to eat him. But something told her not to. No, Zabulus should—was supposed to be saved. After all—he is all she's got and she—she was all Zabulus got too.
As his consciousness faded; so did time, melting together with space and he thought his body had melted into Alice as she held tight onto his unconscious body.
But something made her stop as she looked above for a few moments... the noises within her skull—it's driving her—to just do what she wants—and—it told her how delicious flesh tasted, she could feel her mouth watering up at its very thought.
'Nngh...' she mumbles—'Hnnngh' her moans if frustration grow louder, Zabulus' delicious body was a temptation just calling for her—screaming inside her head to consume him... to let these voices inside her win and be victorious... To be whole and true.
But she simply could not accept this fate, she was strong, powerful. It'd only make sense that she kept fighting for her sake alone. A mere meal was not worth it if she'd turn out a sick fuck, more than she already was.
Eventually, reaching a little cottage that looked a bit off-putting, this 'building', looked just like the ones you'd see from a ghost story of old, being made of wood and having what appears to be, an actual working fireplace in one of its corners, while there was a small table placed nearby, with two wooden chairs set near it—and what appeared to be, was most likely the restrooms was up on the second floor.
To their right was a casket which probably stored whatever 'food' lay there within its confines—as that's most likely why such a large box of a coffin had been built up from the ground floor to where it is now—making it more obvious as there weren't much rooms to the whole cabin besides a living space, the room she occupied at the moment, and another, smaller one...
A man came down from there soon enough after seeing both Alice and Zabulus stumble upon their own feet—blood seeping all over the place from them—and looking quite wounded; then he led them to their own private living space where they rested inside. This place was his; an old friend of Alice's. Rarely did they utter words to one another, it was more of a casual friendship, just someone looking out for each other, similar to how she used to watch her neighbors kid's dog all those years ago—only difference now being that she wouldn't even spare any second to do it again—she just did and moved on without so much as a 'hello'.
Hunger came over Alice as she went into that little room by herself, throwing whatever came in front of her, with nothing more than sheer lust for food.
The man, Laz, was an old medic who once served as one during the wartime before retiring as a field doctor—after a near death encounter—he went back to his hometown where he learned a certain use of an energy, allowing him to be the spiritual medicine man who dealt with anything out of place. However, all his hard work paid off quite well as he tended to Alice and Zabulus.
Zabulus, still unconscious—alive—seemed to be not faring very well as the lack of a part of his soul was weakening his conceptual form—reality in a sense; it appeared to be coming off him as his body continued to leak more dark ink onto the bed sheets. But he continued breathing, even as it turned to faint.
Alice was still deadly worrried as she watched Zabulus's condition, though, knowing there was nothing else she could do to help—Laz noticed something odd happening and mentioned: "These wounds should've gotten worse—with no one's hands upon his injuries, though the way this man lies—isn't the sign of someone's physical attack and it just simply looked as though they went away. Something I've not seen before, quite strange for even me to experience..."
He cleared up one or two things out of this mystery—something unnatural was going on and Laz's skills—only good with Reiki techniques, of course—seemed useless as whatever, he tried doing, went awry from expectations...
Alice... in her eyes—saw no one else other than this man's body in such a horrific shape—lying in his bloodshed pool upon this mattress where she lay, while thinking; it was such a gruesome scene—a horrible situation to see the man—Zabulus was the one now fading, while he gave this image of something out of a horror movie to which, her tears fell heavily from them.
To avert her eyes from the scene, she went to undress herself, and take a bath. As the acrid and pungent scent of fresh blood hung heavy in the air around her, it lingers within her nostrils while all those times before; she'd dreamt about finding out where this scent came from; having fallen asleep every now and then—whenever the world's been rather too lively outside with life's creation making such a pleasant melody—when something popped up suddenly from their daydream, stopping everything for them until the memory of earlier events flashback through their mind yet again...
She sighed and stepped in, the hot water giving comfort as she placed one foot after the other in; to help ease her stress levels from earlier tonight—from such a hellish moment. She'd just killed people like it was nothing more than walking the streets or a regular occurrence while living, Alice merely ignored any emotions toward this, as it wasn't abnormal. For all the Millenia she had lived, the amount of heads she'd separated from the torso would still probably reach into millions by now. However, killing these 'tainted souls' never ceased to make her feel like trash—knowing full-well, their fate afterwards—wouldn't even matter, but at the same time, at times like this, she'd wished she wasn't what she is, however... It was fine, just... not perfect. And in a perfect world—Alice wouldn't exist.
Her gaze shifted to the window to the left of the bath; only dark and gray forest trees to be seen along with their trunks looking dull underneath all that moonlight peaking its way into this cottage's backyard, along with its shimmery glare cast over everything from outside, making it seem magical—even, and almost magical as her own reflection stared right back at her in the bathtub's glass wall.
She closed her eyes as she prepared to begin cleaning her face with water. Slowly she let it drip over and down, flowing down along the bridge between her cheeks, continuing over to reach the tip, pouring and dripping further, sliding downward against the neck, down through the chest, until finally hitting her navel—slowly descending until nothing remained except for an empty feeling inside...
As this took place, a silent laugh erupts quietly from him, coming from Zabulus, however, his body seemed perfectly fine—in an ordinary fashion—which wasn't normal for the average man, not so fast at least. And the first words out his mouth, spoken clearly without pause: "I am what I am. A god, a demon or beast, that you cannot change, because it is simply impossible." Speaking to an audience that was absent, not a single trace of hatred or disgust—just simply talking to his mind's eyes. But... no matter how much time has passed—everyone knew—that for him... they'd rather see someone dead than themselves be the one alive here.
Some of his minds had returned, however so sudden it was, Zabulus stood up from the bed—with all strength left of himself and began walking outside to bask in the dull weather as a thin fog rolled out from nowhere, with only him walking about leisurely alone before, stopping near a bench to take in every inch of this scenery until it vanished behind his eyes forever, for he was sure it would be the only thing he ever remembered in such a peaceful time like now.
Alice—noticing this abrupt moment of freedom for him to return, she grew to panic yet again, shouting "don't do that." with her voice quivering a slight tone higher than usual, until he saw her standing just behind her, moving swiftly towards him, although... It was far too late for Zabulus; and Alice; if both failed to meet him.
The moonlight—on an interesting angle as if it had aligned itself specifically—giving them a moment of serenity between one another, where Zabulus and Alice stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. Though, it only felt it that way. She couldn't read Zabulus' empty expression, till she proceeded to apologise for shouting at him without much thought.
"It's fine, though, it did hurt to hear." Zabulus joked half-heartedly. One thing he took note of were her cheeks, they were caved inwards due to her current state of having nothing but a pit in her stomach. Her dress; likely a different, yet perfectly replicated, gave off a scent of something other than strawberry as if that was the case, she was absolutely certain it was perfume she used earlier today, rather than the other night before meeting him.
For her to realise, his words were now no different either, she wasn't quite sure if what was being said were jokes. "I've never eaten human, I've only drunk off of animals and other beasts... never—"
A smile creases across his face, stopping her mid sentence, "that's not true. The reason why we are here right now is because you, a human, devoured one of them, but that... that is your nature, is it not? I can smell a liar, Alice." Though, he didn't mean that in any other way than speaking factually. But something in her mind's telling her... he must have meant for her not to lie again... as... There wasn't anything else Zabulus could understand of himself, but if this is reality...
Zabulus isn't like humans, he lacks compassion. But he understands all else that makes him whole, apart from all these tiny pieces within his own fragmented reality. Alice's mind, however, began wondering if his lack of comprehension towards human actions is why he continues to live his own life, striving to understand it and have it as his own.
"Hey, Zab?" Alice whispered. She continued "Do you understand my nature, that of a cannibal's, when you can't even understand humans?" Her words struck him as though a dagger had stabbed itself through him, twisting itself within the hole made there. She had somehow understood something so obvious to himself, yet he couldn't put it into words till now.
Was he to feel thankful here?
"So you really can see me for what I am." Zabulus—smiled softly at the sight—looking her straight in those beautiful blue eyes. He found some joy in her ability to understand him so easily. A mutually assured satisfaction of their ability to know one another. A relationship built solely on the strength of both sides, with no particular weakness to be exploited.
"Haahh...." An old mans raspy and crackling voice spoke "You are like two peas in a pod." His words were more confusing than comforting, "What exactly... are you... two peas in a pod." before cutting his words short to end with a 'kchshhhhhh'... He had a weird way of speaking to others, always making it sound as though he needed air after each few words he uttered, but in reality he didn't.
With Laz watching over this whole scene of sorts, he figured Zabulus wasn't quite that similar to Alice, although their natures resembled that of beasts.
"You beasts of no nation, listen, humans are easily provoked, they act like chickens being chased by wolves sometimes... and their reaction to death is also what provokes them, if we make one simple move... our lives could be put to risk." What he was talking about? Alice. She was the main issue for Laz to maintain, although he managed to do so for thousands of years by this point, it seemed to be coming close to an end... and his last. "You know very well, even I, do not hold much of a will for my own actions anymore."
Why was he being so solemn, he had his final stand at its worst. "Laz, what are you talking about? That was ages ago! You're far older, yet way more immature than back then. Are you okay? Is your aging getting the best of you? You're only six thousand two hundred and eighty three—one years old after all,"
"Shut it, stop changing the subject, besides that, you were also brought here for a specific reason," Laz began to wonder, why was she so irritating, so much of a pain in the neck for no reason whatsoever, unless, it was a biological trait women shared.
"I wasn't brought here by anybody... I was the one who came here of my own free will." She retorted, almost offended, "Wait... I forgot about Zab and... if I bring him along, I'll bring Zab." And Alice realised, she was indeed there for a specific reason... But she wasn't too happy to speak about that in front of Laz.
"And you think I didn't see you murder about a dozen men in town? Do you know how much that'll take to clean up?!"
She brushed off his remark. She really couldn't care less—for the life of her—but... oh fuck, it did sound like he might start whining if she just kept quiet for the rest of the time she's there. So, Alice settled on what to say... "Uhm. I'm soooooorrrryyy, Graaaandppaaaaa!"
"Shut up, stop treating me as someone older!" Except he really was older...
She was now thinking why was he so picky, his age. When the average age most eldritch creatures lived for was barely five-hundred to a maximum of three-thousand.
Amidst their almost-familial banter, Zabulus lost interest and walked into the woods, leaving their vision for a moment, making them think that he wasn't coming back, he did disappear, yet wasn't seen appearing anywhere else around the place, when he turned around, simply going from the other end of their sight. He sat down behind a tree, now barely hearing anything they were saying.
"....!" "...." "....'s...."
'Fuck them...' Thinking how none of these events are worth his time, 'What am I doing here anyway, this isn't my issue, those two should go together, why even bother with me?' When he looked back towards where Alice was, seeing her movements and expressions as she spoke to Laz, he felt sorry for what he'd just thought and immediately disappeared from sight once again...
When he first thought his situation was not his issue, it sounded as though, he would regret being a part of their mess later on in his future. However, now after seeing her so happy; maybe, he thought, he should help her, just as she helped him.
'Eyes up here.' A voice that was not a voice, yet a voice that was a sound, sounding as though it were not from around but inside of him, said those words, reaching him inside of his head.
When he looked up, there were nothing but a pair of one, two or fifty eyes from the trees above staring at him, bloodshot. He didn't sense a single presence around him. And all noise ceased.
When he looked down to inspect the ground for movement, the trees shifted slightly, making their sounds, he saw only their shadows over the moonlight shining brightly upon this dark forest ground, this dirt floor, along with its mud that absorbed into his legs...
Looking up again to see what the shadow was, it was gone, but then it was everywhere, along with the voices he heard around him, with each eye belonging to a mouth, its words could not reach him because, every time, someone started screaming a lot of words he didn't hear at the exact same moment, he couldn't understand any of it, so he let them all carry on without bothering to reply back, ignoring them completely.
He was terrified. His only thought, the only delusion in his head, was that decrepit corpse of a woman that had plagued him with her terrifying thoughts, haunting his every living moment till that very second.
With one loud scream, he saw the world turn black, every single eye staring at him had exploded, leaving their innards floating all around him, with one large pile of meat lying before his feet. The ground shifted in colour like a sunset in a bad horror movie as the tree in front started cracking inwards into itself until it imploded.
Silence returned—albeit it lasted for only a while, before those familiar whispers finally left, Zabulus couldn't move an inch.
He blinked, and everything returned to normal.
When he heard laughter from somewhere nearby, not too distant either, he jerked his head towards where the sound was coming from.
There they were, the old man, Laz, with his silver beard covering over his chest, and Alice, smiling, both of them grinning and laughing about whatever they were discussing in the past half hour. "Ahaha." It wasn't funny though, though it felt hilarious, especially since he almost believed that Laz had just created a scene where nothing really occurred.
He didn't like the old man, nor did the old man like him. Perhaps a good time to think about how they could become friends? Zabulus just thought it might've been an excellent time to make a few jokes, because his first impression was terrible.
And if that did not go as expected, maybe try to bond over something mutual such as an interest, though Zabulus didn't have anything of note in mind that he took interest in besides his Godhood. Or... would he talk about the sky? No... Laz didn't seem like a guy interested in what existed above the clouds, in fact, he couldn't be certain if anyone ever would look that high upwards without feeling dizzy.
This time he took note of the sky above and how... absolutely blue it was. It wasn't just any blue that one would normally refer to when describing colours, this shade was purer than an ocean's, the colour itself resembling deep violets and a hint of turquoise, giving its hue this royal outlook, its features reminded Zabulus of those calm waves moving within the ocean's depths.
"Void in Blue... Well, not void itself, but very close..." Zabulus quietly remarked under his breath. He glanced elsewhere with a slightly bitter expression, where the eyes should be. But of course there were none.
Sighing, he decided to stand up a bit straighter before entering the cottage where both waited expectantly with each looking his way at that exact time when his gaze turned their way too. This should have been a moment he'd regret not putting himself first—just as always. Instead he didn't; even a little. But perhaps he couldn't... not that much at least, no, if anything, he could. And he did.
A look between the two, back and forth, each returning glances, unsure if to say anything. Laz misunderstood the meaning behind these gestures, therefore spoke first. "Zabulus, what troubles thee so? Tell me what thy doth, how wilt thou suffer any further and I shall take pleasure in giving whatever thine wisheth."
"Why the fuck are you talking like that?" Alice remarked, finding it irritatingly disgusting, "Can we not get back on topic with our conversation please. You sound so dumb when you try sounding all pompous and stuff. Like a Shakespearean or something. Now quit the bullshit and get your act together."
With that, Laz broke out of his act as quickly as he'd put it on. "Oh shut up, who's side are you on?"
"Whichever gets us where we want, so don't mess this up for both of us." Scoffing, she turns her attention to Zabulus and grabbed his hand, noticing the bloodstains. "Hm... alright, uh, I'm sure this isn't very comfortable, come and get washed up, and be careful, don't strain yourself too much," she instructed as her eyes were directed away from his face.
Showing him around the cottage, she lead him to the bath, showing him its basics; while Zabulus simply nodded along with Alice's directions, paying as much attention throughout. Eventually though, they reached the washing area and made sure he knew how everything worked and that he wouldn't drown in water or soap bubbles.
'Would this remove that stench as well?'
"Alright, so when you're done and dried, you can join us downstairs." She looked away and quickly left the room.
This is perhaps the first time he'd taken a bath in his existence. Every drop and trace of mud and grime coming off of him, as if it were trying to erase what remains beneath the surface; for now at least. His whole body, cleansed. It felt... like something. He didn't understand this new feeling. What would they call this?
'Something so warm and pleasant. How peculiar...'
The floral scent of the soap Alice gave him would cling onto his skin, causing it to reek. To keep others' focus on his presence rather than themselves. It made him want to gag, how revolting.
If his mind weren't the product of what made his soul whole, his whole existence would've likely taken over all living things around him. At times, such feelings of disgust would flood through him. Causing him to throw up, vomit and purge his insides, coughing out blood. But now wasn't such an occasion, so he felt okay enough not to try again.
His eyes were drawn towards the open window overlooking the garden. Out of sight, an inaudible, invisible noise hummed a tune to Zabulus and him alone. And it sang in such beautiful harmony and melody, to create one that would make any such a masterpiece. He was intoxicated with delight, mesmerised by this exquisite masterpiece, it was mesmerising enough that his mind lost its sense of balance and his surroundings; to the point where he almost passed out.
Managing to stay awake, however, he quickly got out of the bath before he collapsed and drowned. But his vision was blurred, as though there were no light. All he heard was the song that continued on as he fell flat on his ass and slowly staggered upright as soon as the noise began ringing loudly within his ears.
"Shit." He cursed aloud. This caused an immediate change of scenery that went from normal to a distorted blur.
"Zab?" A distant and somewhat muffled voice reached his ear, "are you ok—" the voice faded away, replaced by complete silence. He looked to the source of the noise; but there was no one there.
That wasn't possible, for anything. He shook his head.
"....n't..." A faint voice sounded.
He began walking closer, "don't."
"Stop," a little louder, more frantic.
His stride halted; he moved aside. "No... come here..."
That sound became a lot louder; he was confused and lost. The music was no longer pleasant, it had an anger, a rage to it. But its melody was still melodious nonetheless, its tone was powerful and stern.
When everyone he has ever known speaks to him through such tones and actions, why does he do so as well? Zabulus wondered when he reached that epiphany.
The music stopped suddenly; as a bird being cut in half dropped out from the ceiling. Zabulus, transfixed, didn't take his attention off of the creature. He focused on watching what happens.
The bird wasn't dead. The bird wasn't moving. Not because it was a carcass, but because it couldn't. Its soul was broken apart. Its pieces separated and floating all over. Its memories scattered in the form of many bright yellow sparks of light scattered across the entire space around them. It reminded him of himself.
Sighing and giving up on making sense of the world around him, he dried himself off, smelling the now floral odour, almost sickening at how potent it was on him now. Maybe if it was not that strong, he thought he'd have enjoyed having it on. Perhaps this scent was best suited to the outside world. He was not meant for such a scent after all. He'd seen too much that no one will ever live long enough to understand, unless he wanted to let the world suffer.
Although a part of Zabulus felt glad to have found something different to look forward to, as opposed to having everything run so smoothly and without even a bit of a challenge, not a thing felt challenging anymore.
Sighing.
"..."
This was a dream, surely this was all a dream, and when he wakes up, Alice, Laz, and his mother will be there. Awaiting his arrival in order to speak of whatever matters it may pertain to. No, this must have been a dream. Everything here is false, the past, the present and the future.
After all, what was reality to the mind if not a memory of itself? The world's been repeating in a never-ending cycle, a perpetual state, as nothing has truly changed except how each cycle differs in some insignificant way. Nothing will remain and nothing will change. Thus, all memory is false, because there is nothing true, no real identity. No consciousness. All will fade eventually. Even he was nothing more than a fragment of one.
It is not reality and neither is it false.
"Z-Zab? Are you ok?!" Alice called out worriedly, she opened the door to check up on him. But he appeared fine, his towel was not on his waist, instead hanging by hands. When she looked down there however, there was nothing to be seen. So, she averted her eyes away quickly.
She averted them not out of embarrassment; but out of fear, fear that she'd hunger once again for his body.
When the initial shock wore off, she realised something, something had happened while they were down talking, as to what it might be, she had a rough idea what could've gone wrong, her thoughts drifted to whether or not this is his first time bathing, did his kind ever bath before?
"Excuse me but... could you please hurry up? You've been in there for ten minutes," Zabulus interrupted her thoughts.
"Ah yes sorry, I should get going now, umm... Do you need any help getting dressed?" She asked awkwardly.
Zabulus looked up for a moment then replied "No" before closing the door.
The moment of consumate solitude ended in less than five minutes, as he came out in fresh skin that he had never felt like that before.
Alice was nowhere to be seen, but Laz was sitting infront of a campfire, warming himself up whilst chatting happily amongst himself about whatever went inside his mind.
Taking this opportunity to walk behind him and leave without being noticed, Zabulus sneaked. However, Laz noticed, "Hey, kid, how about you come here and have a little chat with an old man? It would mean a great deal to me."
Zabulus flinched slightly upon hearing that voice, surprised.
Then he turned around and smiled. "Alright then, sit down over there and I'll bring us some nice warm tea."
Laz disappeared, leaving an empty spot beside him, the flames lit up the inside of the small cottage as its smoke rose above its roof and disappeared into the darkness of night. Zabulus thought about going into the fire and sitting amongst the hot embers, enjoying its warmth and warmth it would give him as he took one sip after another, drinking hot water.
Laz came back and sat down near him, with a forced smile on his face, a look like no other had ever worn one that was so convincing, nor had they ever appeared so convincing either.
"So, let's begin, how is everything so far?" And thus Laz's unintended interrogation started off strong.