NOVEL WEB Chapter 18 – Cat Meets Popsicle, Lightbulb, and Clothesline
Chapter 18
10 minutes of searching and convincing found Garp, Yoruichi, and Hancock sat at a table in the middle of the upper deck. Yoruichi had somehow gotten some popcorn and was munching like Garp does with his crackers while watching the other two bicker like siblings that hate each other.
“You must go! You are required to!” Garp yelled, slamming his hands on the table in frustration.
Hancock just shook her head “I do not see the point. Whoever is chosen will have no affect on me.” She replied dismissively, looking away from the bear of a man.
Garp threw up his hands in disbelief. “You signed an agreement! Do you not care about breaking it?!” he cried, this time more in exasperation.
Yoruichi just chuckled, waiting for Hancock’s reply that she had already figured out to be a ‘catchphrase’ of hers.
“They will forgive me. For I am Beautiful.” She said, throwing her head back. Garp just groaned and put his head down, slamming it on the table.
“Fine.” He grumbled from underneath his arms. “You don’t wanna go? I won’t make you go. Have fun explaining that at the next meeting you DO attend.” He then got up, stretching, and turned to the lower deck entrance. “Yoruichi, you two seem to have become chum buddies somehow, so get her off my ship.”
“Yesh smir” Yoruichi said, throwing a halfhearted salute, mouth full of popcorn. Garp just laughed, heading down the stairs to the rest of his men still holed up in the hull of the ship.
“Whelp” Yoruichi said, putting her popcorn away in her satchel, “Looks like its time to go. Come come.” The petite woman hopped over the table and grabbed the taller woman on the shoulder.
Hancock turned her head to look at Yoruchi, confusion on her face. “Huh-?” she said dumbly, as both her and Yoruichi blurred away off the ship. They appeared inside a decorated room somewhere else, and Yoruichi let Hancock go.
Hancock went stumbling around for a few moments, her stomach doing flip flops.
“Ugh. What was that?” Hancock asked, not wanting to talk much with how nauseous she felt.
Yoruichi chuckled a little, and said, “That was flash-step. It makes you feel real funny the first few times. Though I wonder why you did? You are pretty fast anyway, you should be familiar with it.” She added as an afterthought. In the end, Yoruichi just shrugged and said “Eh. Not my problem.” She turned around and made to walk away, but was stopped by Hancock’s voice. “Hey!” Hancock called. Yoruichi turned around again, waiting.
“Thank you.” Hancock said, almost mumbling it too quiet to hear.
Yoruichi just smiled, and said, “Hey. Friends, yeah?” Hancock looked up from her absent stare and smiled a bit. “Sure. Friends.”
Yoruichi grinned, waving her goodbye and disappearing in a blur.
***
Sengoku POV
Fleet Admiral Sengoku sat in his office in Marineford, frowning down at a report from Garp.
‘Hancock might cause problems in the next few years; with the way her attitude has been getting.’ He thought. ‘I might have to send Tsuru out to really get a feel for the woman.’ Sengoku heard a knock at the door, and looked up. He called “Come in.” and Admiral Aokiji walked in.
He was a tall black man, standing at 9’ 9”, wearing a white button up vest with a navy-blue shirt. He had white pants on, the same color as his vest, along with the standard Admiral jacket hung over his shoulders. He had Thick curly black hair falling down to his jaw, with a yellow striped tie completing his look.
Sengoku put down the report, and said kindly, “Ah. Kuzan. Just got up from a nap?”
The younger man unabashedly nodded his head, which he really did not need to do, as his sleeping mask was still on his forehead. Aokiji sat down on a couch in the corner, relaxing into the soft cushion.
Aokiji asked a question once he was settled in, “I heard the Vice Admiral was almost back. This time with a guest, as well.”
Sengoku frowned, both at the question his admiral asked, as well as the scene of the same man pulling his mask over his eyes. “Kuzan, you know that this is my office, yes?”
The tall man extended his legs to put them on the coffee table in front of the couch, hands going behind his head. “Mhhmm.” He grunted in assent.
Bobbing his head slowly in acknowledgement, Sengoku kept talking. “You already said that Garp was almost here. You are also lounging on his favorite seat.” He said calmly, already bracing for what was about to come.
His words caused Aokiji to freeze up, not because of his devil fruit, which made him an Ice man, but because he had sensed the same thing Sengoku had.
Aokiji reached for his face, trying to pull the face mask off his face before the terror came to get him. He failed in his mission, the door slamming open, almost completely blasted off it’s hinges. If one looked closely, they would see a hole in the wall behind the door that looked to have been there for years, right where the door handle was.
“SSSENNNGOOOKKKKUUUU!!!! IMMM HHOMMMEEEE!” Came the terror shouting to the heavens.
Sengoku just put his head in his hands, palms digging into his eye sockets. “Garp…… How many times to I have to tell you….. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR WITH YOUR HANDS NOT YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN BODY!” he roared back at the marine that had come through the door hole.
This started a staring contest between the two best of friends, which Aokiji took as a que to slunk out of the office unnoticed. He did not make it far, as he found the same hole blocked by a significantly shorter woman than anyone else in the room.
She had her arms crossed; eyes narrowed in annoyance at the back of the terror behind him. “Ah.” She said wryly, “I see this slab of muscle doesn’t only have a hard time opening his own doors, but everyone else's too.” That statement caused both men to turn around to the door, Garp pivoting around in a 180, and Sengoku leaning to the side to see around his best friend.
Sengoku saw the exact moment when Garp caught sight of his Protégé.
“AH! Kuzan! I haven’t seen you in months! How have you-? Is that a mask I see?” Garp asked, first joyfully, then confused, then annoyed.
Sengoku sighed as he watched as his office was about to be destroyed by the beatdown Aokiji was going to receive from his mentor.
He looked up again at the petite woman who had walked past the two men who were tussling. She stopped at his desk and reached her hand out. “Hi. I’m Yoruichi.” She said, somewhat formally.
Sengoku’s eyes narrowed for a single moment. ‘The enigma…. How does someone as strong as you come out of nowhere, Yoruichi?’ Sengoku thought to himself. He had spent countless hours looking up records with Tsuru to see if he could find anything on the woman.
Ever since Garp came back from the East Blue for the first time with tales of a person who could keep up with him in a fight, someone no one had heard of, He had been searching for anything on her. He found nothing. But that did not matter now, as the person herself was right here to get information from.
Sengoku extended his own hand, saying, “Fleet Admiral Sengoku. Pleasure. Welcome to Marineford.”
Yoruichi smiled politely and pulled her much smaller hand back. “I you are the cracker dispensary around here. Where do you think I could get some milk?”
Sengoku paled in an instant, his mind going to turmoil. ‘Oh please no. Nonononono. Not another one. NOOOO!’ He collapsed to the floor, his soul leaving his body.
***
Yoruichi POV
Yoruichi stood there silently snickering as she watched the ‘strongest man in the marines’ soul float out of his body. ‘Garp did say that would get a reaction out of him. Did I overdo it?’ she thought to herself. She turned around to face the other two men who were still brawling in the background.
Well, now that she looked at it, it was more like Garp was delivering an unholy beatdown onto the other man the likes of which would make Luffy faint out of fear.
“Do.” *Smack* “You.” *Smack* “Know.” *Smack* “HOW Many” *Smack* “TIMES I HAVE TOLD YOU TO LOSE THE STUPID MASK?!” *SMACKSMACKSMACK* Garp roared while raining down blows onto the other man, who was crumpling into pieces of ice and reforming repeatedly.
The other man was cowering behind his arms as he was smashed into literal pieces, trying to get out a response. “Garp, please, stop! I need it to sleep, you know that!”
Garp ignored the other man’s pleas and kept swinging. “Kuzan, the only reason you need that goddamn thing is because you sleep at all times of the day! And every time I see you since you became an Admiral, you have been slacking on the job! So ill beat some sense into you if I have to!” he roared.
Yoruichi just sat down on the couch that somehow had still not been touched and pulled her popcorn to watch the show.
She only got a few handfuls through, when there was an irate voice that came out from the hallway. “What in the name of all that is holy is going on here?” She looked over to the doorway, where both Garp and who she now knew as Kuzan both froze, and slowly turned toward the door.
In walked an old woman, about Garp and Sengoku’s age, wearing a light pink button-down shirt with a blue spotted tie. She had maroon pants with flowers on them, as well as the standard marine jacket with the admiral lapels on.
‘Why the fuck is everyone so tall here?’ Yoruichi thought to herself. The woman was 6’ 8”, and looked like if Retsu had gotten old and showed a bad temperament all the time. The woman walked in, crossing her arms, which had the sleeves rolled up, under her chest. She glared around the room, causing Garp and Aokiji to start shivering under her gaze. She noticed Sengoku who was still in despair at who knows what, and completely ignored him.
Stopping in front of the two tall men, who still stood 3 feet taller than her, she yelled “What in the hell are you two doing? This is the Fleet Admiral’s office!”
Garp and Aokiji were still standing there, frozen in place, one with their hand held up ready to punch the other, and the other had bruises all over his face. He also was missing half his head, which was slowly reforming from ice particles from somewhere.
Both suddenly separated, looking abashed. Garp scratched his head, saying “Uh. Hey Tsuru. How’s it goin’.” Tsuru smacked him in the arm and said “Don’t give me that you big lump. I know how you like bullying your protégé so much, you can’t fool me.” She walked past the two men, looking over at Sengoku.
Completely ignoring Yoruichi, who was spectating this like it was a WWE beatdown, she walked behind it, leaned down, and slapped the man on the face. “Wake up, Idiot!”
Sengoku snapped into focus, and he jumped up and shouted “No! Not another one! I cannot deal with two fucking Garps around here! Do you know how much money I spend on crackers every year?! DO you?!!” He then looked around a little, saw Tsuru, and said casually, “Oh hi Tsuru. Didn’t see you there.”
Tsuru glared at him too, and asked, “Why exactly were you on the floor? And what’s this about another Garp? We all know we don’t need Vegapunk to somehow clone his crazy ass.”
Sengoku just said in reply, “Don’t worry about it, its not important. The Warlord’s meeting is coming up, and we need to prepare.” Shaking his head, he sat back down in his office chair, getting busy reordering his papers.
While he was doing that, he said “Garp, get that new recruit of your situated somewhere, we will run her through the officer’s program once the meeting is over.”
Yoruichi, who had still been eating her popcorn, paused in mid eat, her eyes widening.
She slowly turned to Garp, and asked, “What, exactly, did you tell them about me?”
Garp visibly wilted, fidgeting with his hands. He said quietly, “I, uh, well, I kinda mentioned that, well….” He paused, obviously not wanting to keep going.
Yoruichi’s face fell, and she growled, “Well spit it out, man! If you don’t, I am going to ask your good friend the Fleet Admiral where he keeps your crackers, and I am going to go and throw them into the goddamn ocean!”
Garp somehow paled even further at that, causing a chuckle to come from the desk.
Yoruichi looked over at the desk, Garp following her actions, and the tall woman who was there was laughing openly.
“Oh, hahaha, I don’t know why I never thought of that! Thanks for the idea, kid! Hahaha!” The woman laughed a bit more, before stopping. She walked over to the couch where Yoruichi was sitting, and said, “I am Vice Admiral Tsuru of the marines. It is a pleasure to meet someone who also knows how to deal with this fat bag of lard.”
She paused in her introduction for a moment, glancing at Garp. He was still wilting over by the doorway, which at this point no longer had a door, then turned back to look down at Yoruichi. “From what I gathered; it does not sound like you want to join the marines. May I ask why that is, and even then, what are you doing here anyways if that is the case?”
Yoruichi did not say anything for a moment staring into the other woman’s, Tsuru’s, eyes.
‘This is a cunning one.’ Yoruichi thought to herself. Her spirit senses could feel the sensation of a devil fruit inside Tsuru, it’s soul energy emanating a cleanly aura. Now that she focused, only Garp and herself did not have devil fruits, the other three did.
‘Hmm, lets see. Cold, very cold, for the Aokiji guy, which I guess is a title because who wants to name their kid Blue Pheasant, and they keep calling him Kuzan, so that’s probably his actual name. That fits with the pieces of ice that kept flying off of him when Garp was punching him. He must have one of those Logia fruits or something.’ Yoruichi had her mind racing, processing all the information around her in an instant.
‘Quite ingenious from Garp’s end, keeping him discombobulated with a mixture of normal strikes and Haki infused ones, making him loose half his sight and hearing, while still hitting him enough to not let him fight back.’
She then focused on Sengoku, who felt like a very large glowing aura. ‘Its…. Almost holy. I don’t know what that is, but it seems to be very powerful, almost kingly, but also the humblest king I have ever seen. Zoan then? Don’t know how “kingly” transfers into animals, but sure.’ Yoruichi looked back at Tsuru with her spiritual senses, not breaking eye contact in all of the two milliseconds it took her to think about the devil fruits.
“You would be right, Vice Admiral Tsuru. I do not want to join the marines, despite what Mr. liar over there told you. I am Yoruichi by the way." Yoruichi did not stand up from the couch, feeling like that would be a mistake in the little mind games this woman seems to want to play.
Tsuru cocked an eyebrow, and asked, “No last name? You also did not answer the rest of my question.” Tsuru turned to Garp immediately after, and said, “But I would agree with you that ‘Mr. Liar' over here tends to exaggerate things. We wouldn’t need to call a meeting of the Warlords otherwise, now would we, Garp?”
Both women noticed that Aokiji had slipped out in the distractions, but did not pay it mind.
Tsuru looked back at Yoruichi, examining her like a piece of meat at the market. “Hmm, even if you did want to join the marines, I don’t think you’d make it far. Tiny tiny.” A slight smirk appeared on Tsuru’s face, almost like a taunt.
Yoruichi saw all of this and snickered internally. ‘Oh yes, cunning indeed. Act all chummy by insulting Garp to get me to lower my guard a bit, and then insult me immediately after to take advantage of the 'betrayal . Wonder why, though? Maybe feeling me out?’
Focusing again on Tsuru, her eyes narrowed with a close-lipped smile on her face, and said, “Oh, thank you for the compliment. I would hate to be like all of you, unnaturally, tall individuals. Must be soo~ taxing.” Yoruichi got up from her seat on the couch, crossing her bandaged arms, and continued, looking up at Tsuru. “Besides, I am certain I would be fine in the Marines. I’ve done my stint in the military, for many years. I am older than I look after all.” Yoruichi grinned at Tsuru.
‘Leave her vague breadcrumbs that ultimately lead nowhere, and spill nothing else.’ She thought a bit smugly. ‘Haven’t had to do this kind of word game in a while. Though all of it might just be spoiled by Garp anyways, since he seemed to have told them about me.’ Yoruichi glanced over at Garp, who had pulled out his cracker sleeve and started munching.
He immediately noticed her glance, and just shrugged. ‘Guy is much slyer than he lets on.’
She looked back up at Tsuru, listening to her reply.
The tall, aged woman walked over to a small table by the opposite side of the couch, and grabbed a bottle that was seated on it. She poured two cups, and walked back over.
“Here.” She said, before taking a seat on the couch herself. Yoruichi held onto the small glass, round with ridges on it. Sniffing delicately at it, it seemed to be a nice brand of whiskey.
Tsuru looked a bit impatient at her, and said, “Well? Are you going to sit down, or leave, like Sengoku asked. You said you were in the military, so you should know how confidential meetings go.” Looking over at Garp, who had sat down in a chair opposite her, next to the table to whiskey came from. “Not that Garp cares about the ‘confidentiality’ of these things anyways.”
Said man just chuckled jovially, continuing to stuff his face.
Yoruichi plopped herself down next to the taller woman, seeing that their games were probably over with Tsuru not getting much out of it. “Where does he keep the crackers anyway?” Yoruichi asked, which caused Tsuru to smirk a bit and Garp to start munching crackers faster.
Tsuru pointed over to a cabinet off in the left corner of the office, and said, “They’re all in there. Ill never know why we don’t just put them in a warehouse, since Garp breaks the door down every time he wants more.” Tsuru muttered something to herself, something which Yoruichi did not bother paying attention to.
She was too busy smiling evilly at the large man, who had slowly realized his crackers were in danger. Her mouth widening into an unnatural grin, she said slowly, almost causally, “Hey Garp…. Remember when you threw me into the ocean? And I said I was going to get payback?” She kept smiling as she saw Garp’s eyes go wide, and he slowly started shaking his head.
She slowly tensed her body, which Tsuru noticed but did not mention. Yoruichi then disappeared from her spot, with Garp making a flying leap toward the cabinet a millisecond later.
Appearing in front of the cabinet, which was a thing about as tall as she was, standing on four legs with a lock on the front of it, Yoruichi had only a single moment to decide what to do.
She decided to completely avoid Garp grabbing her by just taking the Cabinet and moving out of the way with it, its couple hundred pounds basically negligible.
Now standing a few feet to the side, with her arms wrapped around the cabinet, she glanced down at Garp. He was laying on the floor, face in the boards with his arms outstretched. His butt was sticking up, which just so happened to be underneath a window.
“You know Garp, with how many crackers I see you eat, you must be addicted to them. Let’s see if we can’t help you get rid of that horrible addiction, shall we?” Yoruichi said happily, grinning like she just got her canary, which she did. Yoruichi stepped on the convenient stepping stool right in front of the window, using her dexterous feet to push the latch down.
She then twisted her body backward, pointing the top of the cabinet out the window. She looked like a rugby player about the do a side pass, with the cabinet somehow tucked under her arm.
She then pivoted forward, launching the cabinet out the window and into the harbor of Marineford down below.
Her stepping stool, aka Garp, had tried to get up, but for some reason could not move. It felt like a massive mountain was standing on his back, using his ‘compromised’ position to lock him in place on the floor.
When he was finally able to get up, Yoruichi had already stepped off of him, letting her Reiatsu flow freely inside her instead of focusing on her foot and the air around it. She had used it to keep Garp pinned down, which wasn’t all that hard considering he wasn’t using Haki and he was in a really bad position.
Turning back to the couch, she self assuredly walked back, ignoring the open laughter of Sengoku and the giggling behind her hand Tsuru. She sat back down and grabbed her glass, taking a sip of the whiskey.
‘Hmm.’ She said, ‘Not bad. Sake is better though.’ Yoruichi thought, watching as Garp almost threw his entire body out the window in an attempt to go after his prize possessions, but was stopped by a golden hand grabbing onto the back of his shirt and pulling him back in.
‘Well, didn’t think they would reveal their stuff that easily.’ She thought, examining the brief moment in her memory. ‘Though, their abilities are probably widely known anyways, if both Sengoku and Tsuru are as well-known as Garp is.’
Yoruichi listened to the banter between the two men, not saying anything, even when Tsuru joined in. Eventually the three marines got their stuff together and started discussing the meeting of the Warlords.
It wasn’t anything special, mainly logistical, talking about who was coming, and what they needed to do. It seems like only two were confirmed, a Doflamingo, which caused cringes to go through both Garp and Sengoku when he was mentioned by Tsuru, and a Moria, which got an audible groan out of Garp.
‘Wonder what’s up with that.’ Yoruichi thought, not thinking too much about it though.
The next hour was talked about normal things she would expect in a military base, budget, sightings of high-level criminals, the works.
She sipped on her whiskey until the meeting ended, in which Tsuru stood up and said, “At least we got something done.” She stretched a bit, mumbling “These old bones don’t like sitting much anymore.” Which got a chuckle from Sengoku, and a snore from Garp, who had fallen asleep halfway through.
Yoruichi just smiled and watched as Garp got kicked in the side by Tsuru, and was told that “You had better figure out what to do with the girly over there, even if she isn’t going to be a marine. You brought her here; you deal with her.”
Garp grumbled as he got up, waving the old woman away.
“Alright, alright, I’ll do it.” He bemoaned, turning to Yoruichi. “Well, come on, little miss kitty cat. Let’s go find you a cat bed to sleep in.” He started walking to the door, waving goodbye to the other two marines who had started talking in hushed whispers.
As he walked by, Yoruichi heard Garp mumbling that “I’ve a mind to make your bed soaked, for what you did to my crackers.”
Yoruichi just laughed, following him out, after she had waved goodbye the other two.
