Cat on Water

Chapter 12

A few hours later, Yoruichi could be found hanging upside down from a tree, looking at a map. She was in the middle of the forest, doing some more training with her Shunko, to get as adapted to the new feeling of pressure over her entire body before she tries to use it in actual combat. Now however, she was trying to map out the next route she should take.

Humming to herself, Yoruichi thought, ‘Hmm, should I go north again, and make a pit stop at the marine bases up there, or do I save that for later? I could just head directly to the Baratie, which is apparently southwest of here, according to one of the students.’

She flipped herself up onto the tree branch, before resting her back against the bark. It was getting late, and she wanted to decide where to go before she rested for the night. Sighing, she decided to have a little conversation with Rain, as she hadn’t done so in a little while. And after what happened earlier, she probably should anyway.

Sitting on the branch, Yoruichi closed her eyes and reached inward. A moment later she found herself in a grassy, sunny plain, a stark contrast to where her body was.

As per usual, Rain was lazing about in the sun, basking like the king murder mittens he was or at least said he was. Yoruichi strolled on over to him, making her presence entirely known. Once she got close enough to talk, she laid down on the ground next to him.

Rain glanced in her direction, before chuffing and looking away again. Yoruichi studied him a bit, feeling something was off. It took a second, but “Wait, I can see your head. What the hell?”

Rain didn’t respond, only rolling off his back and onto his side, facing away from her. Yoruichi reached over and poked him. “Hellooooo, anyone home?” She poked him again. And again. Finally, rain rolled over to face her, which proved that she could, in fact, see his face again. He wasn’t fat as a blow-up parade balloon like he was before. Still fat, but at least he looked somewhat like an actual being, as opposed to whatever you could call him before.

“Will you cut that out, you insufferable woman?” Rain growled, aiming to hit her with one of his stubby legs.

Yoruichi rolled out of the way of his limited reach, before sitting up and smiling excitedly at him. She then started to talk like one of those pet lovers who talk to their pets in an entirely fake ‘cutsie’ voice, “Oohhh, there he is! Did I disturb his nappy? Is the wittle kitty Kat grumpy now?” Rain growled this time, the sound reverberating across the plain.  

“What…. Do you want this time?” Rain asked, his tone snapping the words out like he had to force each and every one out.

Yoruichi grinned. It was too easy. Get him annoyed and he’d do anything to get her to leave. Like answer questions. “Sooooo,” she started nonchalantly. “What’s up with the weight loss? I thought you liked being a golden bowling ball.” The lion huffed, visibly annoyed. “You should know the answer to your own question, Tanuki” (A/n Tanukis in Japanese are essentially tricksters, or bad omens. He thinks she’s both so that’s her nickname. Cuz like her he likes giving nicknames.)

Yoruichi frowned a bit. ‘The hell does that mean. I should know? Know how this old ass rat trap got up and exercised for once?’ she looked back at the large lion, who was now shaking a bit and making a noise.

“Are you – are you laughing at me?!” Yoruichi jumped to her feet, pointing at him.

Rain kept chuckling at her. “Yes, We are. We do so, because you shinigami always get caught up in the bigger picture, and rarely focus on the little things. We are in the inner world. Bodies don’t exist here.” He said, rolling back over onto his back to catch some more sun.

Yoruichi’s face scrunched up, hard in thought. Muttering to herself, she pieced through what Rain had just said. “Bigger picture…… bodies don’t exist…... Can’t he just? —Nono that doesn’t work, I know that already. Wait… little things….” She kept thinking, before shouting “The sparring match! That’s what you mean!” She jumped around, running up to Rain and started slapping him in the head. “Bad kitty! Bad! No riddles! That one sucked!”

Waving his stubby paw over his head, Rain growled, before smacking Yoruichi herself over into a nearby tree.

“Yes, yes, the mighty shinigami finally used her brain. Now that you have your answer, leave Us be.” Rain got up and walked (see, rolled/hobbled on pg 168) away from Yoruichi.

She pouted, before brushing off twigs and flash-stepping in front of the large lion. “Nah nah nah nah. You aren’t going anywhere. Answers, please and thank you your highness.” Yoruichi said in a very sarcastically, before bowing theatrically like she was one of Rain’s noblemen asking for a favor.

Rain huffed again, this time the force of the air making Yoruichi stumble. She straightened up immediately, thinking, ‘Damn, haven’t seen him use that in a while.’ She looked back at him, as he glared down at her.

“Will you leave Us alone if We answer your question?” Rain growled, posturing like he was threatening a potential hunter.

Yoruichi nodded, clasping her hands behind her back like the worlds worst communist leader.

Rain sat down imperiously; head held high, chubby body on full display. “Fine. We will answer your question, and then you will be evicted forcefully if you do not leave of your own free will.”

Yoruichi smirked a bit at the thought of him actually trying to evict her from her own mind. He could do it before they achieved Bankai together, but not anymore. That requires a strength difference between them that isn’t there. The last time she had kind of let him do it since she could tell he really didn't want her there.

She decided to keep it simple. “So, it was because I used you that you lost some of your weight? Why?”

Rain shook his head, before saying, “Only partially because you used Us. It was the combination of wanting to use Us and wanting to use Us in our intended purpose. You have not attempted to do so in so long We cannot remember the last time you used us for something other than a long pocketknife.”

Yoruichi winced a bit at the last statement. She had a habit of using Rain as a Swiss Army knife sometimes, since in her mind, what else was he good for? He was the one that didn’t want to cooperate.

She continued his sentence timidly, raising a finger, “Uhh, it’s been about 250 years since then. Back when I took the clan head position.” Rain chuffed, turning his head disdainfully. “Anyways,” she continued, “Do you mean that if I wanted to use you all this time I just had to want to? That seems pretty easy.” She was about to continue, but she stopped as Rain stomped on the ground in anger.

“No! That is not what This King meant! You asked Us how we lost weight, and we answered you. How would you lose weight? You would use your body in its intended ways of use. You used Us in the same way you would exercise, and so We lost weight. That does NOT mean that our bond can be repaired that way. Just because you exercise well does not mean you love yourself.” Rain finished, truly angry for the first time in a while.

Yoruichi could feel he wanted to leave, but she couldn’t let him. This was the first proper conversation they had had in almost 200 years after all.  Yoruichi crossed her arms over her chest, before asking, “So, are you finally going to tell me what’s wrong? You did not ‘deign to share’ back then, but are you going to now?”

Rain ignored her and started walking away. As he passed her by, he said, “I will not answer any more questions. You have lost your pride, and do not deserve to know anything more, Yoruichi.”

That sentence made Yoruichi’s brain screech to a halt. While she sat there dumbfounded, Rain flicked her with his tail and sent her careening out of the inner world and back into her body. Looks like she was more disconnected than she thought.

She sat there, staring off into space, still shocked at that last bit. It took her 10 minutes to come back to herself. When she did, Rain left her with some parting words. “If you still do not know where to go, this King would choose the route that provides sustenance.” She did not hear anything after that.

Yoruichi rubbed her temples, muttering to herself, “Damn. That escalated quick. I kind of regret pushing him that far, but it needed to be done. I’m going to need to think on what he said, if he was serious about it.”

She then giggled a bit to herself, before saying “At least I know he’s still a foodie.” She then disappeared from her spot in a blur, leaving the quiet night forest behind.

***

The morning came, and Yoruichi was in front of the Dojo, watching all the students enter for the day. She had a light smile on her face, watching all the children be herded around excitedly by the adults in the room. While she was watching them, Koushirou came up beside her. “It seemed my idea worked well.” He said, watching his student with a fond smile on his face.

Yoruichi glanced at him and replied, “Yeah, it looks like it. Though the ones you will have to watch are the adults. That will show if they truly got your message. Children can get exited easily but will not stick to it when things get hard. They saw what you are capable of, and they want to be able to do that. They will probably stop when they hit their first wall but can break through it with some encouragement.” Koushirou nodded. He had figured such things out years ago with his first batch of students.

He did not say anything as Yoruichi continued “The adults…. The Adults will go a few ways. Either they will think what you did was a fluke, they will take your advice and demonstration to heart, or they will ‘believe they can do that too’ and not bother training. The first will need some additional encouragement but can fall into the second group. Those will need watching as well, because practice makes permanent, and if they stick to the wrong habits, they will never achieve anything. The third group will be the hardest. They are either the youngest of the adults, or the oldest. Both would be arrogant, believing they are at the top, and no one can beat them. Most of this group probably went home, took a swing at a tree or something and saw that they cut it, and thought ‘well, if I actually wanted to, I could do something like that no problem.’ These people will either quit eventually, watching their peers surpass them, or fall into the first group after failing, and then the second group.”

Koushirou looked surprised at her little speech. “You know your stuff. Have you taught before? Do Shinigami have schools?”

Yoruichi chuckled a bit, before nodding. “Yes, yes we do.” She said fondly, thinking back on her own early days as a seated officer, just having gained her Shikai. Her father, Yugureni Shihoin, and her predecessor as Captain, had decided she had gotten her head stuck in the clouds a bit too much, so she got stuffed into a semi permanent teaching rotation for almost 40 years, during which she had calmed her head down a bit and developed her cheeky personality as a way to tort-*cough* teach new Shinigami. She had also achieved Bankai during this time period, early on, and when asked if she wanted to leave the position to be her father’s Lieutenant, as his own Lieutenant, Daku Fon, the original Lieutenant who served under the original squad two captain Chika Shihoin was getting on in years and was looking forward to being put on admin duty in squad one, like most shinigami ‘retirees’ did.

Yoruichi did not accept this however, much to old Daku’s eternal annoyance, and stayed teaching at the academy for another 20 or so years. That is where she originally got her playful personality from, teasing the initiates in their Hakuda and Hoho training.

Yoruichi had a thought cross her mind, ‘Actually, that time was what cemented who I am today. Even for Tessai, who became the Kido instructor, that was what got him into the Kido Corps commander position. Kisuke liked to call us old farts back then, because ‘only old people teach’. He was so immature.’ She smiled a bit at the reminiscence.

She looked at Koushirou fully and realized she had gotten lost in memories, because he was smiling humorously at her. “I’m guessing it was a good time for you?” He asked lightly.

Yoruichi shook her head, chuckling. “Yeah, it was. We got people of all ages coming to the academy, and staying there teaching probably shaped my life. I still like teaching, even though I don’t do much of it anymore.”

Both looked back at the students, watching them socialize. With her spiritual senses, she could hear them talking about the latest news in the paper for the adults, or how one of their friends got grounded for a week, for the kids. Others were sparring with Bokken, practicing techniques against each other.

Yoruichi, still looking at them asked, “I heard you mention someone named Zoro yesterday. He was Kuina’s rival, wasn’t he? I think I heard her mention something about that. Where is he? You talked as if he was dead as well.”

Koushirou audibly groaned, surprising Yoruichi a bit, since he was usually such a poised man. “That idiot may as well be dead, since I doubt he’ll be coming back here any time soon.” He said, shaking his head wryly. Yoruichi looked at him, eyebrow raised.

She asked, “What does that mean? Did you have a falling out?”

“No, it’s just that the kid left one day without even saying goodbye, only that he had heard ‘the worlds strongest swordsman was sighted’.” Koushirou replied, “I would be ok with him going on a journey, as most young men do when they become of age, just like I did, but Zoro has a small quirk that makes it annoying to travel with him.”

She was now curious. “And what would that ‘quirk’ of his be?” She asked.

Annoyance crossed Koushirou’s face, and he said, “That idiot has probably the worst sense of direction in the entire world. You asked if we had a falling out? We did not. I just don’t think that he will be capable of making it within 100 miles of the village ever again. He is that bad.”

Both of Yoruichi’s eyebrows were raised now. “Surely, he can’t be that bad. I’ve met some directionally challenged people in my time, some I doubt he can top.” She said, thinking of a small pink haired lieutenant who had such a terrible sense of direction that she singlehandedly saved the soul society from destruction multiple times because the person relying on her to navigate couldn’t find someone to fight.

At that moment, one of the adults, one of the original three she saw when she first got here, entered the conversation. “You don’t understand, Miss Shihoin. Zoro is worse than anything you will ever see, before and after. He could get lost in a single, walled off corridor with only one direction in it. If you point him down the main road to a store he wanted to find, he will show up 6 hours later the other side of the island saying he got into a martial arts competition and won belt and all to prove it. He was 13 then.”

He looked around nervously, before leaning in to the both of them. “Shimotsuki sensei, you know that part, but I never told you this part of it. I asked around a few days later what competition he could have gotten into, because we are the only ones here that do them. I found a newspaper saying that some kid with green hair won an island wide competition on Karate Island.”

Koushirou choked at the name, obviously knowing where it was. Yoruichi was just confused. She had studied the map of the east blue for a while and had never heard of a Karate Island.

“Uhh,” she asked, finger raised in question, “where is that?”

Koushirou responded, still coughing lightly. “Karate Island, my dear, is a famous island for its many martial arts dojos located there. I have visited a few times in my youth. The issue here, is that the island is in the South Blue.” He finished, looking intently at her.

Yoruichi’s eyes widened. “Isn’t that on the other side of the grand line? How the hell did he end up there?” She looked between the two men, who did not have an answer.

“Miss,” the other man said timidly, “The real question you should have is how the hell did he end up there while looking for bento boxes on Main Street?!” The man continued, “I have asked myself such questions for almost 5 years, and still not gotten an answer.”

Koushirou nodded grimly. “Yes. If you ever end up on the same ship as Zoro, never, ever, let him steer. You will end up so far from where you wanted to go you will think you teleported.”

Yoruichi nodded slowly, thinking over the absurdity that was Zoro. “Yeah…. I’ll keep that in mind.” She spoke. ‘Yeah, that’s so much worse than Yachiru and Zaraki could ever be.’ She thought.

The man then walked away, still a little pale from his ‘horror story’ and she turned to Koushirou again.

“I am going to leave soon, so I came to say goodbye. Thank you for letting me stay here for the past few days and thank you for teaching me something.” Yoruichi said as she cupped her hands and bowed thankfully.

Koushirou laughed, before bowing similarly. “Thank you for heeding my request for a spar. I believe it was quite fruitful.  Best of luck in your travels.”

They smiled at each other, before Yoruichi turned to leave. Before she could do depart, she heard Koushirou ask, “I know we just talked about how bad Zoro is with directions, but if you meet him could you help him? At least point him to where he wants to go. He is almost 6’ tall, with short green hair, a white linen shirt and black pants and boots. He has a pierced ear with three earrings and wears three swords through a bright green sash. He also may be wearing a green bandana, or has it tied onto his arm.”

Yoruichi didn’t turn around, but waved over her head “Yeah, I’ll see what I can do” she said, flash-stepping away. In the breeze she heard Koushirou’s parting words. “Be careful though, he may want to fight you to the death.”

Yoruichi almost lost control of her momentum ‘He what?’