Casual Heroing

Do you ever think, ‘I just peaked; this is it; I can’t do better than this?’

Yesterday, while I spent my time with Lucinda, making myself useful and helping her with magic, that’s how I felt. I felt on top of the world. The look in her eyes told me that her admiration had just become boundless. It’s a wonderful feeling, being useful. It’s also great knowing she will be able to use most of what I explained to her to become a better [Mage]. Now, I don’t want to sound smug, but I think Lucinda’s actually a pretty nice person, isn’t she?

I’m not sure whether she will use her magic powers selflessly, but I’m certain she won’t use them for anything bad.

I’m just a bit tired, honestly. She’s very smart, but I think she only understood parts of what I was saying. When she tried to replicate it, it came out better than her initial attempts, but not even close to what it should have been. It’s probably going to take more explaining until she can understand the principle of physics that I was taught. All in all, I hope she will succeed, whatever she wants to do. And after yesterday, I’m also sure she will want me to be by her side at the academy.

Man, maybe I could even study some of the stuff they do there. I wouldn’t mind too much, honestly.

It was truly the best choice I could make – teaching her, I mean.

Now, we share a deeper bond, something greater than life itself.

I slept in my apartment today and paid the rent to a suspicious Agostina. Nothing can chip my mood, though, nothing.

As I skip steps toward the bakery, I see my new staff cleaning up the place under Stan’s supervision.

As soon as he looks at me, a rueful smile appears on his face.

“Young man,” he nods with a formal attitude, unlike his usual casual demeanor.

“How you doin’, Stanimal? What’s up, what’s with the long face?”

“Joey,” the man said with a pained expression.

Oh, shit.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, tell me it’s not happening, please.

“Lucinda left for the academy. She brought a letter for you.”

I freeze.

There’s really not much more for me to do.

Do you remember when I hesitated about sharing my knowledge with her?

And why did I do it?

Because she acted like a selfish prick.

I nod at Stan and take the letter from him. I go inside, sit at a table, and start reading whatever she’s left me.

Dear Joey,

I’m sorry about my sudden departure, but I never imagined your understanding of magic could be so profound. Do not misunderstand me; I do care about you, but these findings will propel me to the top of the academy in no time. I’ve already contacted an [Archmage] to become his apprentice. I’ll share parts of what you told me and other parts I’ll keep for myself. This is just too big to keep calm. I need to practice, to change the magic world with this knowledge.

I wasn’t trying to con you into giving me your secrets, and I’m sorry if you think that. I just realized how little you value your own knowledge and that it would probably die with you. I’m sorry, but I cannot allow that. This magic can literally change the world, the whole understanding of how we do things.

Even if you got it through a stroke of luck, it would be a crime not to follow up and make it bigger and better, Joey. Yesterday, I realized we belong to different worlds and that we are not fit to be together.

Again, I’m sorry about all of this. I’ll make sure to compensate you for your knowledge in the future.

Keep up the good work; you have a kind heart.

Lucinda

I inhale until I can feel my lungs about to burst, and then I slowly exhale.

The amount of bull in this letter is astronomical. As soon as she found something that would give her an edge, she ran away.

In anger, a passing thought tells me that at least I didn’t explain everything to her. Even my anti-matrix theory was just sketched for her. And I completely left out my new findings about vector spaces. I even noticed that the dispersion of magic could probably be analyzed through a Fourier analysis.

There were so many things I wanted to tell Lucinda before this.

My attention snaps back to reality when a huge furry paw lands on my thigh.

The dog growls something at me.

Grigio.

“Yeah, I know, I know,” I tell the dog that’s never approached me before. “Some women are mean, Grigio. You are not, right? Aren’t you a good boy?” I scratch him behind his ears while he nods solemnly.

“Power is everything, Joey,” I hear Stan’s voice while I try not to let the world crush me into a paste. Right now, the only footholds for my mental sanity are this massive dog and my dear Stanimal.

“I’m sorry, but I used a little trick to read the letter before it got to you. You were tricked. Most of what is inside that thing is untrue. She was after your knowledge, young man. And you have fallen into her trap.”

I nod. Why do I nod? I mean, there’s really nothing else for me to do.

“Yep,” I click my tongue. “It is what it is.”

“Now what?” Stan asks.

“I’m not in the mood to burn down the stupid academy, Stanimal. So, I guess we are doing nothing. She’s got something. She’s got apart of what I’m studying on my own,” there is definitely some venom in my words, some spite for all [Mages] of her kind. “And I was going to give her even more. She ran away, crippled her own profit. Even in her shrewdness, she failed. She should have waited a month or two, chain me up in a fucking basement. That would have done the trick. If you must be a piece of crap, better do it right than half-ass it. Once you go dark, might as well go the darkest.”

I see Stan raising an eyebrow.

“I did not expect such a commentary, Joey. But, alas, it is true. She’s just a kid – that should make you feel better. She got a shiny toy but didn’t even consider for a second that the toymaker could have been hers.”

Yeah, I’m so lucky, huh?

Some anger courses through my veins while I try to rein it in. This is the kind of thing that makes me lose control, that makes me a person I’m not.

“If her teacher starts probing about this knowledge, someone might actually come to kidnap you. You are a Human and one without many ties in the community. If you went missing, no one could do anything. You are at risk. Lucinda might be just an ambitious kid, Joey. But [Archmages] don’t play around. What’s your plan?”

I slowly stand up, flashing two smiles. One is for Grigio, the dear boy who came to keep me company. The other is for Stanimal, who is obviously worried about my future.

“If any [Archmages] come to me, Stanimal,” I say in a whisper while leaning towards the tall, silvery Elf, “I’ll snap their piss-poor magic in half.”

Angry, I go upstairs to practice my own magic.

I know I shouldn’t be motivated by conflict and these negative emotions. But I need to distract myself somehow.

I hear Stan mumble something, but I can’t make out the exact words.