Casual Heroing

Stan is cleaning the place with some stuff I didn’t know we had.

“I went shopping with some of the funds for cleaning supplies. I got soap, buckets, and mops. This place is filthy. And we have to take the bedsheets and blankets to a [Washer].”

Huh, that’s a class too, huh?

The silver-haired ex-homeless man keeps mopping the floor while completely at ease—what a guy.

“We also need to hire a few [Bakers] to help you out with all the work, Joey,” Stan says with an air of responsibility about him.

“We could poach someone from Happy Bakery and the Three Roses,” I nod while drinking some of the tea Camilla has brought.

“I’ll have this place burnt down if you do,” Camilla says with a huge smile.

“Stanimal, the shortie here is threatening me. Where is Lucillus? I need to report the owner of the Three Roses to the Watch.”

Camilla stares daggers at me while I keep sipping this hellish beverage with an accomplished demeanor.

“Lucillus said he would be back this afternoon with a regular contract. He has to take care of some stuff with the Watch first.”

Man, it’s nice having people who know what to do around.

“We also have to talk, Joey. I bet you have many questions, but I can only answer the—”

“Nah, Stanimal, no questions. I don’t care. As long as you don’t stab me in my sleep, you do you. I’m only curious about the lack of a walking stick. It would really help the whole wise sage vibe. We’ll get you one, and that’s that.”

Stan looks at me with a frown.

“You have no questions?”

“No questions at all, man. Keep doing what you do. If you want to chat as friends, we can. But I have no reason to interrogate you.”

I mean, I do have reasons. But who cares?

“So, really, no questions?”

“Just the lack of a walking stick, Stanimal.”

He laughs heartily and shakes his head.

“You, Joey Luciani, are a truly wondrous person. I might have more questions for you than you have for me, then.”

“If it’s about your salary, just take…” I start thinking. “Ten times what shortie McCheap here pays her managers. We can probably afford it.”

Camilla has been staring at us the whole time, probably wondering what we are even talking about. She doesn’t know that Stan is a weird, probably-[Druid] guy with lots of magic under his beard.

“That’s twenty golds a day, Joey. You can’t afford that,” Camilla sniffs.

“Yo, Stanimal, take thirty golds a day as long as we don’t go under. Alright?”

I truly don’t care about the money. Not only am I just getting started with my baking, but I also don’t think that croissants will be my biggest hit. They are good, but they are one of many things I know will fly off the shelves.

“Oh, we have to go shopping too. Is frying oil cheap around here?”

“I know some places—” he starts talking while something suddenly goes off in my head.

I start laughing like an idiot.

Oh man, I didn’t even realize I made such a great pun.

STANIMAL.

St-animal.

And he is a [Druid]!

I think.

Well, that’s a good one.

Like, what are the chances of something like that?

Incredible.

Truly incredible.

“Joey. We might get the oil at five silvers per gallon if you buy a lot at once. But it will take twenty golds worth of sales.”

“Yeah, let’s do that. Why not. I also need to shop around the gardens or—what’s it called again? The Gardens but with a capital ‘g’?”

“Yes,” the man looks at me with his grandfatherly expression. “You have still not visited the place?”

“I’m waiting to have a date with Lucinda there. I need to shop for hazelnuts, coffee beans, and chocolate. I’m pretty sure I can spot the raw fruits. You know what, palm oil, too, would be great for baking. People hate its ecological impact on the world, but it’s truly the best for baking. Some margarine too.”

“I know where to find hazelnuts. But I have never heard of ‘coffee beans’ or ‘chocolate.’ And if you describe this ‘palm oil’ to me, we might find that too. Amorium has a vast repository of fruits, plants, and seeds. If we can’t find it here, we will not find it anywhere else.”

“Palm oil is like—how can I explain. It’s these red fruits that hang off palm trees? And you can squeeze them or—I don’t really know how you get the oil out of them.”

“I can help you find that. There are tons of those trees in Amorium. People feed it to cattle. It’s extremely cheap, but I don’t know anyone using it for humans. The trees are too oily.”

I rub my hands with an evil grin.

Oh, boy.

I only lack one ingredient to make the perfect filling then.

I’ll single-handedly create a diabetes epidemic in this city!

“What are you going to do with those?” Camilla looks at me with shining eyes. She can smell business opportunities from miles away.

“Nothing, nothing. Why don’t you come back this afternoon? I didn’t agree to let you in on every secret of this bakery, you little spy.”

Camilla narrows her eyes at me.

“And what about my recipes?”

“Well, the first one is not even a real baking recipe. It should be quite easy to make on a large scale. But you’ll need [Butchers] to help you with that.”

“[Butchers]?” she raises an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah. Butchers. I’m going to teach you about the holy grail of fast-food and street food. The hot dog.”

Camilla looks at me, slightly pale.

“We don’t eat dogs here, Joey.”

Right.

Ambiguous name.