Casual Heroing

“So, today we’ll be learning something completely new about baking. I’ll teach you both my recipe. This is not in the contract, but it’s something that people will soon pick up. It’s not that complicated, and I’ll give you both an edge over the rest of the city.”

It’s time to finally showcase the one thing I’m truly good at.

“This recipe comes from a despicable land. The original one, actually, comes from a neighboring country of theirs, but that’s not important. Just know that the main peddlers in this are the French. That’s the people of France. It’s a small stupid country in the world, don’t worry about it.”

I finally take out a huge pot and look to make sure that all ingredients are on the kitchen table in front of me. First rule of cooking – have everything prepared in front of you. Even if you are a professional baker, otherwise you might forget something. I know more than one arrogant cook who forgot salt, or another integral ingredient from his recipes, because they did not prepare the ingredients beforehand.

Hybris takes the best cooks away.

“Now, I know that you [Bakers] and [Cooks] have a skill to make the bread rise, right?”

“It’s one of the first things you get as a [Baker], Joey,” Flamina looks at me. She has no idea where I’m going with this, does she?

“Sure thing. But what if I told you that I have a much better solution? I tasted your bread and it’s plain. You need spices and whatnot to make it taste good, don’t you?”

It doesn’t cross my mind at first that they could take this as an insult.

When I look at their narrowed eyes, though… well, they might be a little angry about the remark.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. It’s true, though. You are just making the bread puffier. Skills cannot really change the taste, can they? So, where I come from, very far, far away, we do this thing.”

I take one of the containers where I’ve stored the yeast and show it to them.

“This is yeast. I got it from—should I tell you?” I scratch my beard.

“There is a clause in the contract that says you are obligated to tell us where to fetch the ingredients,” Camilla smiled thinly.

“Sure. The where could be from me, though, couldn’t it?”

That’s a lot of money.

[Bakers] go through an insane amount of yeast every day.

Huh.

If I hire that [Brewer], I might make an insane amount of money just in yeast-sales.

“He’s staring at the wall but he’s not smiling like usual,” Camilla says darkly.

“I think he’s going to rip us off,” Flaminia nodded.

“Well, girls. Never mind. I’ll sell you the yeast when you need it. I’ll make sure to have a lot of it.”

“Anyway, yeast,” I keep going, “is a living organism. It’s super small and you cannot see it with a naked eye. While what you are using is similar to baking powder, yeast adds flavor and nutritional components to the bread. You know how stuff ferments? Well, there’s a similar process involved here.”

I take the sludgy substance that I got from the [Brewer]’s beer barrel and slap it inside the massive pot.

“You want to add some sugar to it before anything else, so that it will start eating and grow stronger. The yeast is not just a dough-raiser, but a truly important part of any baking process. Based on which yeast you use, how much, how long it stays, the flavor will change completely. I have in mind to create different types of yeast, especially for bread, Flaminia. That would make your bread demands skyrocket.”

The two [Bakers] are looking at me with rapt attention.

“This particular yeast is very sludgy already, so we don’t need to add any warm water to make it more alive. Or to ‘activate it’, as people say. Now, let’s start adding the rest. It’s your usual stuff.”

I take a pot of melted butter I had put on the stove a while ago and unceremoniously dump it in the pot. People always freak out when you do this, thinking you have to be gentle.

Amateurs.

“Now, melted and normal butter in huge quantities. The butter is supposed to be extremely fat to get the best results. Plus, let’s add a little bit of milk because.”

“Because?” Camilla asks.

“Because.”

That’s your answer, lady.

Baking is a bit like being a witch. A real witch doesn’t really know the why of every single step. She executes the recipe. Only extremely foolish chefs look for an answer to everything in the food world. Humans barely know enough about how the gastrointestinal part of their body works, even less about proper food. So, better not to speculate, and just keep experimenting with what works and what doesn’t.

If you ever meet a chef that claims to be cooking by scientific principles, he’s probably just a douchebag full of himself.

This may sound like a very douchy claim, but it’s just me being humble about cooking. We don’t know much about the science behind it, and a few fat cooks saying otherwise won’t change the fact. Let’s focus on what we know and what we can control. It doesn’t make sense to just claim wild stuff to sell more. If your food is good and does good to the body, it will sell.

Trust me.