Casual Heroing

I’m trying to figure out whether I should put on warmer clothes when someone knocks at my door. It’s probably Lucillus, I figure. Why? I don’t know. My brain does this. Somehow, it already knows it’s Lucillus—

Huh, Lucinda?

I open the door and she’s holding a few casseroles, barely managing to balance them. I immediately take two of the three from her hands and look at her with a bewildered expression.

“Yo,” I say, uncertain.

My thoughts are a bit scrambled when looking at her. Plus, I’m feeling super weird right now. I killed off my feelings for her, or at least most of them. Or did I? I like to think I did, but—seeing her is weird. She doesn’t know about my change of heart, and she probably just wants to get closer to me to get the multi-casting thing.

Talking about magic, I shoot a look behind my back, and I find the spellbook resting inconspicuously on the bed. Good boy.

“I wasn’t sure if anyone had told you about Day of Ancestors, so I decided to bring a few things and eat together.”

Come on, Lucinda, you can’t say that. Don’t act all human and lovely! Why would you do this to me? Are you telling me you just came all the way over here to bring me the food you cooked?

How am I not supposed to fall in love?

Wait, Joey! Get a grip, man!

She probably just wants the multi-casting thingy!

Right?

“I—come in, come in,” I stutter and then I invite her in.

It’s quite late for lunch, to be honest. I mean, by my standards, at least. The whole 27/9 business is still playing tricks on me.

She looks around with curious eyes, their green, illuminated by sunrays coming through my windows, is doing things to me. It’s like looking inside a magical emerald capable of snatching your soul away with nothing but a touch.

We set the casseroles on the table when I notice she’s getting a bit embarrassed.

Man, my stupid brain is lagging, isn’t it? Let’s act like decent human beings, Joey! She even brought you food, come on!

“You know,” she anticipates me, “I thought it would be a good idea to come here so we can talk about,” she makes a pause, hesitating and fishing for the right words. “…to talk shop too! You still have to tell me which bakery you want to go with. Clodia is still amending her proposal, but apparently, the Three Roses have raised their offer again. Camilla seems quite fond of you.”

The last sentence is pointed out with a sniff.

Oh my God, that’s so cute.

Shoot.

Come on, Joey, don’t be fooled by some little antics of hers. Even Hitler could be a nice guest if you invited him to dinner!

I mean, actually, let me take that back. The guy was a vegan or something. No one wants those people at dinner.

Well, anyway. The point is that a little gesture like this doesn’t mean she’s good! Remember how nasty she was when we talked about Stan!

I have to psych myself up in order to avoid falling in love again.

I’d give a hand to have some nice hard music to pump me up. It’s not like I want something with a slow and mellow tempo to dance to with her until my feet bleed and we are thoroughly forever in love…

While we set the table and have some small talk, I feel like an athlete warming up on court before the match. I wish I had some cutscenes where I—I don’t know what I would do in them but I’m sure it would look cool as hell.

“You are awfully quiet today, is everything alright?” Lucinda is looking at me with a frown.

“You are too beautiful, you left me speechless for a bit,” I give her my signature wink and then I immediately regret it. Shoot, I want to punch myself in the stomach now. Come on, Joey, don’t you have some self-respect and dignity, for God’s sake?

“Wow, this looks almost as delicious as you do,” my smile is so wide I want to plunge a knife into my own stomach.

Come on!

Why did you have to say that?!

She laughs with her crystalline voice and I’m here wishing my eardrums would pop to avoid listening to that sound.

It’s just so dreamy.

This is like being fat and having to choose between gym and a chocolate cake. Which one do you think is the easiest choice, huh?

And let me tell you something, kid, chocolate cake is a relatively new invention in the history of mankind. Do you know what, instead, has been around for millions of years?

I glance at Lucinda’s casual dress while she takes a pitcher of water and fills it up with a small bag she had in a pocket. Some of the water spills on the ground and I get to stare at her caboose when she bends to wipe it off.

Oh, man.

What can I say, I like big cabooses and I cannot lie.

“Something funny?” Lucinda turns toward me.

“Oh, some song lyrics came to me. It’s—never mind,” I wave my hand while looking at all the food she brought.

“Come on, tell me! It’s been a while since I have last heard a [Bard], honestly. I could do with some entertainment.”

“Nah, forget about it,” I tell her, slightly embarrassed.

“These are stuffed veggies, aren’t they?” I look at some weirdly shaped vegetables that look similar to eggplants. They have been carved up and filled with meat and some cheese.

Huh, can she cook? Please, God, don’t tell me she’s good at cooking! Girls like her are usually really bad at cooking. She can’t be the exception, can she?

“I made all of this myself, that’s why I’m a bit late for a normal lunch. But I hope you’ll enjoy it,” she said with a sincere smile.

Damn sexy-cooking-Elves.