Casual Heroing

“What the hell?!”

I recognize the voice of my elven landlady.

“Turn off that blasted [Light]! Did you just cast that in front of you, you human dimwit?!”

“I—”

“Turn it off, kid! You made it too bright!”

“I don’t know how!” I whine on the ground.

It’s like someone poured hot lava in my eyes.

“You flat-eared idiot,” I can hear the landlady. “Whatever, I’ll do it.”

She mutters a simple word.

“[Dispel].”

Then, she approaches me and takes my cheeks in her strong, wiry hand.

“Don’t move, stupid human,” she growls.

I feel a cork coming off something and she pours a liquid on my closed eyes.

“Open your eyelids, you need to get the potion in there to have it work.”

I try to, but it hurts too much. I feel like I scorched off my corneas.

Without ceremonies, she takes two fingers and forces my eyes open, not caring about my screams and protests.

“I swear, boy, if you don’t shut up, I will break your nose with a [Shockwave], and this time, I won’t waste any good potion on you.”

I whimper on the ground, eyes still hurting. However, I feel a wave of relief after half a minute. Clearly, the potion is working.

“Gently open the eyes. How can a person be so stupid, I wonder. Is that the first time you casted a [Light] spell?”

“Yes?”

I try to open my eyes but, even though I can now see some blurred figures, they are still extremely sensitive.

“What?”

There’s a short silence.

“That’s the first time you casted a [Light] spell?” she asks again, this time her tone in wary.

“Yes? I’ve practiced yesterday too, though.”

Once again, I can feel a pondering silence.

“This is… interesting,” she exhales. “Get up, boy. We need to talk a little, me and you. And you won’t probably be able to work in this condition. I’ll send a message to that stupid other kid myself.”

“Uhm, I’m sorry, can you wait? I’d like to go to work if it’s possible. I still have to sleep and rest. Maybe I’ll be better.”

Again, a short silence makes me think that she’s looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

“Let’s do that, then. Take my hand now and follow me slowly,” the landlady says and grabs my wrist.

She starts gently bringing me out of my own apartment. I hear her putting my kingly keys in my pocket. I’m surprised by how maternal this woman is.

We get to her own apartment, after I’d almost thrown myself off the stairs to three stories below.

She closes her door and steers me toward a chair.

“So, kid. I’m giving you a minute to come up with a good explanation for how you just overcharged a magic spell that you shouldn’t be able to make even flicker. No—not just flicker. [Light] spells are supposed to be pale and lactescent, at best. You basically made a [Flash] spell, the kind you use to blind someone, like you did to yourself.”

Well, it appears that this woman is onto me. I guess that the matrix of that spell must have been really efficient or something like that. Or maybe I just screwed up and used too much mana. I can’t really know. And I’m not sure what I’m going to tell this woman. Should I reveal I have a very powerful relic that is forcing me to learn magic?

Something tells me that’s not the smartest choice.

I really don’t want the attention, but I really cannot lie because I suspect she has a truth-stone on her.

“I—it’s nothing dangerous for you. I think. But I have a very unusual way of training my magic. Wait, not just training. I have a very unusual way of learning magic. And it’s kind of a secret. I can’t tell you without putting us both in danger.”

Then, I try to slowly open my eyes once again, and I finally get a blurry image of the landlady who’s a bit too close to me for my own tastes. I have to say, she’s fit and doesn’t look half bad. But I guess she’s more on the grandmother side rather than the milf one.

Is that a problem for me?

Well… Not really.

It’s not my fault that I like to think in sexual terms of every female I meet. Well, maybe not every single one. Flaminia and I are clearly hitting it off as friends and I’m not that interested in her.

Would I mind seeing her naked?

I don’t think so.

But do I want to see her—

Well, let’s leave it at that.

“You are not lying, human. But I am a trained [Mage]. I’m not as fancy as those Nine Towers fellows, but I can still put a hole in your head before you can say ‘Elf’.”

“Well, that’s not the most comforting thought,” I smile and shut my eyes, giving them a much-needed rest.

“Be careful with your weird magic, human. If you did that with a [Fireball], you would be dead. And that would ruin the apartment. Since I can’t take money from the dead nor kill you again, I would prefer you practiced the most dangerous spells outside. Am I clear?”

“Loud and clear, ma’am,” I say cheerily. Now that the pain has subsided, I am back to my normal self. “Thank you very much for your help. I don’t know what I would have done without you. And thank you so much for using that potion on me. I can only imagine it must be a bit costly for you to help such an idiot as—”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved her hand at me, “don’t worry. I’m going to bill it to your boss. I didn’t use that much, so it should be only a few silver coins.”

There is not much goodwill in this woman, is there?

“I have some biscuits that rascal brought when she brought you here. I’ll go take them. I’ll also make some tea. We’ll discuss some magic, you and me. I want to make sure you avoid burning my complex.”

Oh, I take it back. She’s nice.

“I’ll bill the biscuits and tea to your room, don’t worry about cash.”

Wow.

I take back the taking back.

What a scrooge.