Postmortem
So. the Capture Target Postmortem.
...There's a lot of thoughts I have here, but I think the best way to do this is in four segments: What I did poorly, what I did well, things I feel bad about, things I feel proud of, what to change for the future, ending with my final thoughts.
So let's go!
What I did Poorly
Oh gods so much. The story is littered with characters that were introduced temporarily, only to be dropped off immediately afterwards. Character progressions that were ignored or forgotten. Not to mention the relatively well-known issue of exploring characters other than Elizabeth.
Now that I've had time to think about it, a lot of that comes down to a poor core structure and poor planning.
With ADHD, adding things is easy. New ideas are easy to come. But keeping them stable is much harder. Introducing characters shouldn't be done haphazardly, because without help, I will forget them. This is a problem for many obvious reasons. I don't like adding too many complicated details to a story -- I know that if I read a story with too many characters, I will not remember any of their names.
Ideally, I would have written an entire two arcs ahead, and edited and released two arcs back, but I'm not certain how feasible that is for me.
What I did Well
I managed a really solid inner dialogue and flow. That is what I'm really proud of in this story -- those that enjoyed it seemed to really enjoy it, and I'm ecstatic about that! It was great to see.
The biggest thing I did well, on a personal note, is that when my flow was good, I could write. Getting myself in the mood for writing is difficult, and I've tried numerous times to write other, more 'normal' stories, and they all fell flat on their face. Maybe five hundred words a day, and they were a painful five hundred to get out. With Capture Target, almost every chapter came out in a single sitting, words quickly typed up. That's something I need if I'm to write another story -- not something that's complicated, or that inspires me, but something that I can enjoy writing.
Knowing how essential that is -- I can't overstate how valuable that is to me, for my writing and future projects.
My Embarrassments
At a certain point, I thought I'd lose the chance to write again. This combined with some more -- personal issues I had at the time with a friend of mine, to make me retreat into myself. I haven't read the comments since, too afraid to do so.
That wasn't what I should have done. I know it now, I knew it then. It was what I could do, but I should have done better. It's a difference between fault and responsibility... the need to look after yourself and keep yourself stable and sane, and the responsibilities that I willingly shouldered.
That... along with not editing more, frankly. My work can do with editing, but doing so is hellish for me. I should find a way around that...
My Pride
...This is going to sound a bit silly, but my biggest pride is the character Argenta.
With her, I had a goal: A character that was on the Wrong Side, where every thing they said, taken on their own, was a Good Point.
That was something I feel like I fulfilled with her. Every single complaint and rational she had, on their own and out of context, was something I would consider reasonable and fair -- it was only when it was taken in context that her overly prideful nature was revealed. One isn't required to share their own gains with others, no, but if all of reality is at risk and all it takes is a data download, then you're being a bit unreasonable!
At the same time, if she was trusted just a touch more by others, the story could have gone very differently. My editor said, and I agree, that Argenta was one of Fratlords first victims. Her good intentions warped by his callous nature and the harm his careless acts cause until she became somebody almost entirely different, with only her deepest core being the same... but the expressions of it being changed beyond recognition.
...I could keep talking about her, but really, I think I'll keep it at that for this.
What to change
I should spend more time focusing on the core structure, and give myself more forgiving goals.
With Capture Target, I had a few goals: Every chapter should be lewd, there should be a fixed ending, a new character should be introduced every year, and I should explore have the progression for the character be primarily erotic.
Now having goals and aims like that is a good thing, but some of them just -- didn't work. The setting, to put it bluntly, was limited by design, and wrapping it all up led to a plethora of issues.
I'm not certain about how to change everything -- but I've got a good few ideas to avoid some of the most egregious sins. For example, the power system should either be much more or much less broad in what it can do. I also shouldn't introduce characters to introduce them.
...And I should probably write in third person, to more easily show how other characters are feeling or reacting to things.
Final Thoughts
Capture Target was a mess, but it's one that I'm quite proud of. Not many people can say that they wrote over 200,000 words of a finished story, let alone one that others enjoyed!
That said, I doubt I'll ever really return to it.
I might someday. Maybe I'll rewrite it from scratch, or I'll edit it with a machete -- perhaps I'll publish it as it is if I get famous enough and people want to read the original mess.
I won't make any promises, but I will state that I have a story idea running in the back of my head.. and that if I ever do start publishing it, I'll finally get a discord serer up, or some kind of equivalent, for ya'll to hang with me as I butcher common sense in literature.
It'll be fun!
That said, that's in the future, and we'll see what the future holds when we get there -- and not before.
This is the final end of the story. I hope you all enjoyed the tale of Elizabeth the Capture Target, and how she got caught by... oh...
...everybody that caught her slutty eyes~