Can't We Skip Dating?

Could anyone's wish truly be to get beaten up—and even be willing to work part-time for it?

Kimihiro couldn't understand it. Not that it was his fault—no normal person could possibly understand it either.

"When you say 'when necessary,' what exactly do you mean...?"

"I mean, when he steps out of line. It's a very admirable wish."

Savoring delicious food and wine, Ichihara Yuuko didn't wear her usual playful smile, nor did she look especially serious—she maintained a fairly earnest demeanor.

"Watanuki-kun, what do you think would happen to this world if I decided to 'do evil'?"

"Eh? Eh? Miss Yuuko, you would…?"

"It's a hypothetical, just a hypothetical. Now hurry up and think."

Watanuki had a unique constitution. In Chinese terms, he had been born with a "yin-yang eye"—he had been able to see all kinds of bizarre spirits since childhood. 

In a way, he had always lived on the hidden side of the world. 

Although he still didn't know much about youkai or about Yuuko herself, he had, through observing her "business" on several occasions, sensed her terrifying aura of dominance.

Unfathomable. Omniscient. Omnipotent.

If someone like her truly wanted to do evil…

Even before fully thinking it through, Watanuki already felt a chill.

"So it seems you've understood," Yuuko said softly, her voice inexplicably gentle.

"Whether it's me or Ogiwara-kun, if we wanted to kill someone, there would be countless direct and indirect ways to do it. 

And we wouldn't leave behind a trace of evidence. Legal restrictions mean nothing to us. The only thing preventing us from becoming calamities… is our own hearts."

"But the human heart is the most fickle thing. Even one's own heart can shift. 

A bit of disappointment, a burst of anger, a moment of hatred, even a desire for 'justice'—all of it could push someone across the line. 

And once that line is crossed, it keeps getting lower, more blurred, and eventually the mind is consumed by the thrill of power and control."

"That's why Ogiwara-kun made a wish. He made use of me… and also placed limits on himself."

Akira almost choked on his sake.

"Cough, cough… well, calling it 'using' you is a bit much, and 'limits' is an exaggeration too…"

"Hmm—?"

Yuuko let out a long, meaningful hum through her nose, then said teasingly, 

"Karma only comes to collect the debt after you've made a mistake. It might destroy you on the spot. 

But with me as a benchmark and deterrent, you become hesitant. That hesitation might help you regain your sanity before committing a self-destructive mistake."

"Even if you do go through with it, I will stop you midway. 

And because of that wish, I can't just kill you outright—I'd be compelled to try saving you… Should I go on, Ogiwara-kun?"

At times like this, playing dumb was the best strategy.

Akira quietly ate his food and sipped his drink with an innocent smile, looking like a kid completely unaware of the gravity of the situation.

"A wish that noble—I couldn't possibly turn it down. Ha, just talking about it makes me angry…"

Yuuko's smile turned dangerously radiant, but her actions were surprisingly warm and friendly—she pushed some dishes toward Akira.

"Eat more, Ogiwara-kun. By tomorrow, you'll be back in that empty house, eating greasy takeout again."

Akira's cheerful smile twisted instantly.

"Just wait! Sooner or later, I'll find myself a cute maid who can cook, wake me up every morning with her sweet voice, and say, 'Good morning, Master!' I swear!"

"Oh? So Ogiwara-kun's no longer planning to become a potted plant? I thought one day your head would literally bloom."

Hm?

Akira's brow furrowed slightly—he sensed something was off.

How does one guard against an enemy's plot? Simple: if they want you to do something, don't do it. If they don't want you to do something, then do it.

So how do you discern the motives of someone deep and mysterious?

Also simple: observe your own reactions—what you're feeling, what you want to do—and from that, infer their goal.

Replaying the sudden impulse he just had to "find a cute and capable woman," Akira slowly raised his eyes and gave the witch a suspicious look.

"Say, Miss Yuuko… your real reason for calling me here today… wasn't to push me to get married, was it?"

The air fell silent for a few seconds.

Then Yuuko, still wearing her usual unchanging smile, tilted her head ever so slightly. "Ara? What's Ogiwara-kun saying?"

Even Watanuki could sense the awkward stiffness in Yuuko's expression at that moment. There was no way Akira didn't notice it.

He sighed and muttered thoughtfully, "So even someone like Miss Yuuko… can act like a nosy old aunt who nags people to get married…"

Suddenly, Yuuko turned her head sharply. "Mokona! The banquet has begun!"

The Mokona that had been limp and passed out from Akira's god-tier massage jolted upright, leaped onto the table, and held up a sake cup with its tiny paws.

"Uwah—sorry, sorry! Ogiwara-kun's massage was just too heavenly! Come on, cheers!"

"Cheers!" Yuuko raised her cup joyfully as well.

Akira, deeply wary, raised his cup too—because if he didn't, Yuuko would definitely accuse him of dodging the drinking and team up with Mokona to force it down his throat.

Yes—one of them would restrain his head, while the other would shove the bottle down his mouth.

As a transmigrator, he couldn't fall for the same trap twice.

But he still underestimated Yuuko's determination—or perhaps underestimated a witch's sense of vengeance. 

Even though he obediently clinked glasses and drank with them, the sheer frequency of toasts—without a single break for food—quickly became overwhelming.

"Wait, wait, this is too fast. Let me catch my breath…"

"Mokona, Ogiwara-kun is trying to run away again. What do we do?"

"That won't do! A banquet means drinking to your heart's content! Ogiwara-kun! Here!"

Being restrained by a witch was impossible to resist. Objectively speaking, you couldn't beat her. 

Subjectively speaking, the way she restrained your head involved holding your neck down and pressing your face into her chest—and no matter if you were a man or woman, no one could resist such a beautiful "boob pillow."

That night, Akira was once again forcibly rendered unconscious.

___

Read 20 Advanced Chapters on p@ tr eon (.) com/HalflingFics 

Also, please point out my mistakes in the comment, thank you!

Don't forget to leave a review too~ Actually, please leave one.

Check out the other translations too

___